Viewer 258
by wuogkat
Summary: Twilight Fanfic. Special Agent Edward Cullen is assigned to train his former girlfriend, Bella, to mentally jump thru space and time, and collect intelligence for the US government. Science Fiction meets angst. Full Summary in Prologue. AH BxE
1. Prologue

**Full Summary: **Two years ago and only days before he'd planned to propose, Army linguist Edward Cullen left his girlfriend Bella Swan to join the family business which provides intelligence for the US government. A freak accident causes Bella, now a successful reporter, to be valuable to the organization, and Edward has been assigned to train her to use her new ability. How do you work with the love of your life after you've broken her heart and your own?

**A/n: **Beta'd by: dorothysrubyslippers

Preread by: Aleighy

Twilighted Validation Beta: ladyrip

Ch2 of this story titled "The Beginning" tied for third place in the Killing Me Softly contest.

Disclaimer: Twilight and all recognized characters and content belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copywright infringement is intended. In addition, any resemblance to real life persons or situations is unintentional.

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**Edward**

_SpecInt Headquarters outside of DC June 2010_

I'd kept track of her over the past two years. She didn't know it, but I listened to every report she did. I made excuses to watch her personally when I could. I had surveillance photos of her on dates with Jacob, visiting her parents, and most of all, working. She worked all the time. Bella was driven as a reporter. I only hoped that zeal would transfer over to her new position. When Bella was invested in something, she always succeeded.

Things ended badly between us. My only hope was that she understood, and had forgiven me. Otherwise, our work environment was going to be hell. I stared at her and tried to see the girl I had fallen in love with. She was still beautiful, but there seemed to be a slight change in her. She was even more apprehensive than I remembered… less confident.

It just didn't fit. I hadn't seen that in the photos. Every broadcast she did exuded life, and confidence, but here she was looking slightly mousy. Something had crushed her spirit, and crushed it badly. I knew that she was still seeing Black… perhaps that was it. They hadn't been apart since the ninth grade. She loved him. Maybe being without her security blanket had caused this. Unfortunately, Black couldn't be with her. As much as I hated him, she needed him. He just couldn't follow her here. I wanted to regret that.

My heart literally ached at the thought. I knew when I left that they would be together. However, seeing the evidence so clearly in front of me was difficult. Having her here, period, was difficult. I'd left to protect her: to allow her to have a normal life even if it was with him. It was something that I could never give her. She was so young when I'd left, and she had so much ahead of her. It was ironic that I'd expended so much effort to keep her away from this life, and there she sat in the next room.

She'd been fine with the prospect of being a military wife. We'd discussed that at length. I'd been an Army linguist when we were together, but when Alice decided to follow in Carlisle's footsteps by joining SpecInt, I knew that there would be trouble. Alice could see the future, and was assigned to the team of one, James Hunt. James and his wife, Victoria, were remote viewers, like me. Remote viewing is the process of being able to view or jump to different times and places without leaving one's current location. It was highly useful for intelligence work. Alice's job was to keep them safe on assignment, and help steer the team in the right direction using her ability. Things went well for a while, until James and Victoria left Alice in the middle of Afghanistan. Carlisle pulled some strings and had me reassigned from Ft Gordon to SpecInt to lead a rescue mission. The reassignment ended up being permanent. I removed myself from Bella's life, so that she could start with a clean slate and I could go on at SpecInt without worrying about her safety.

SpecInt, or the Specialized Intelligence Service, was a private sector company that grew out of the CIA's Stargate program. The federal government decided in the late 1990's that it was no longer productive to fund research into espionage techniques that employed the use of gifted individuals to collect intel. Truthfully, some of the methods used proved to be futile. However, techniques like Remove Viewing and the use of individuals such as Alice who could sense the future outcomes of decisions were cut too. So Stargate was privatized and became SpecInt. SpecInt continued to contract for the CIA among other agencies, but they also accepted private contracts and conducted their own research.

SpecInt maintained a close bond with its former Agency, the CIA. As a matter of fact, most of SpecInt's assets were still trained at Camp Peary, commonly known as 'The Farm.' Gifted individuals were recruited by former agents like Carlisle, and then, brought to our facility in Virginia. Alice and I were no exception.

My worth to SpecInt lay in the fact that I could "jump" naturally. Like Bella, I could separate my consciousness from my body and visit other times and places. Unlike Bella, I'd always been able to do it; I had control over it. I was also permitted to skip half of The Farm experience since I was military intelligence prior to joining SpecInt. Bella wouldn't be so lucky.

Not knowing who my new trainee was, I had railed to Carlisle and Jasper in e-mails and on the phone that she needed to be sent straight to The Farm. I felt like she wasn't worth our time, and that we were wasting it by giving her training before sending her off. The Farm served a purpose; it weeded out the weak, and every report on this recruit screamed weak. However, this was Bella, and Bella was strong.

It was fortunate that Carlisle and Jasper vetoed my request to send her off. There was no way that she would have survived the first few weeks of training. She was injured, and needed to get a better grip on her ability before being placed into an intensive training program that included sleep deprivation and extreme physical stress. It would have been a disaster.

I watched her lean back in the CRV, Controlled Remote Viewing, chair. Rosalie attached monitoring equipment to her. Bella winced when she touched her forehead. She was nervous, and I longed to comfort her. I could almost feel what it would be like to fill that role for her again.

I knew that she was afraid. It went against every instinct I had to stay where I was. I never wanted Bella to be involved in this. That was the real reason why I left. It was the only way I could keep her life from becoming the mess that I knew it would become if we stayed together; so, instead of proposing marriage, I ran. I still had the ring in the drawer of my nightstand.

I'd lived this life growing up, and the effect that the espionage business had on the family. I knew that I couldn't ask that of Bella. It tore my mother apart. My mother, Elizabeth Cullen, died of a heart attack when I was ten. It was the stress of never knowing where my father was that got her in the end. I couldn't do that to Bella. However, one head injury two years later, and here she was.

The scars on her forehead were still pink, and there was a spot on her head where the hair sat funny, because it was growing back in where they'd had to shave it to attach a monitor in the hospital. She was still slightly confused and getting a grip on exactly what she could do with her new talent. I laid my hand on the glass as I watched Emmett and Rosalie work with her.

Watching her like this was painful. I turned away from the two-way mirror and looked at Alice, my sister. She gave me a weak smile.

"I take it you saw this coming?" I asked.

"Yeah." She nodded.

"This isn't going to go well. I think she'd rather die than have me train her."

Alice winced, and I knew that it was true.

"I wouldn't count on that," Jasper piped up from behind his wife.

"Jazz, I'd be willing to bet fifty dollars that those are her exact words when she finds out." I turned back to the glass and fought the urge to go to her. I had to be professional. She was a trainee, and to make matters worse, she was with Jacob now. That was partially my own doing, and I had to live with that.

"You're on. I think that you'll find Miss Swan to be quite amenable."

"When are you going to tell her?"

"Tomorrow," he said.

"Are you sure you want me on the team?"

"Edward, you're the best trainer, and she's very green. She needs you. We all need you." I watched Jasper's reflection as he spoke. He'd moved to stand behind Alice. His unwavering calm was a strong contrast to her nervous energy. The two worked well together.

I made my decision then that I was going to do my best for Bella. She deserved that at the very least. She might not want me anymore, but I owed it to her to make sure that she was prepared. I would make her the best agent that I could. The first issue was that she was starting at a disadvantage. She was young, nearly ten years younger than me, and she'd had absolutely no military training. Even Alice had some, albeit rudimentary, training before joining SpecInt. I had my work cut out for me. Hopefully, she'd cooperate.

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**End Note:**

In this story we will be exploring a highly fictionalized version of a real phenomenon called Remote Viewing. If you would like real information on remote viewing, I suggest reading up on Joseph McMoneagle and David Morehouse.

Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 1 Origin

**A/n: Please pay attention to dates, locations, and POV information. It's important.**

**Thanks to: dorothysrubyslippers for beta'ing, Aleighy for prereading, and my Twi'd beta ladyrip**

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**Bella**

_Atlanta, Georgia April 2010_

My eyes weren't on Anderson Cooper as I shook his hand to receive my award. Instead, I was looking at Jacob, my best friend, my ex-fiancé, and the best photographer ever. He was the first person I called after my station manager informed me of the award. At twenty-three, as a rookie reporter, I was receiving an associated press award for a series that I did on burglar-proofing apartments. It was supposed to be a fluff piece. However, it ended up being more, much more. During my investigation, I discovered a security company that was selling clients' pass codes to criminals.

One little series had secured my place at one of the largest radio news stations in the United States. I was about to hit the big time. Within a week of the announcement, I found myself competing with reporters twice my age on fires, actual burglaries, murders, and the occasional political story. My life was on track.

"Congratulations," Mr. Cooper shout-whispered above the applause. I gave him a polite, if brief, smile and resumed my eye-lock with Jacob while I returned to my seat. I was so focused on Jacob that I almost shunned Jason, my news director, when he stepped in my path to congratulate me.

"Good job, kid," he grunted and punched my arm when I released him.

"Thank you." I blushed again and slipped into my chair. There was a reason why I did radio, not television. Several TV stations in recent weeks had approached me, but attention flustered me. With radio, no one knew what I looked like, and I liked it that way.

I slipped into my chair next to Jacob, and he immediately pulled my shaking hand into his steady one. We'd been through a lot of situations like this together. At least, I didn't have to give a speech. High School graduation had been brutal. He was salutatorian; I was valedictorian. I couldn't breathe. Then, there was my stepsister, Angela's, wedding. My one constant was always Jacob. He was even there when Edward left me junior year of college and disappeared.

"Did you get a picture for Renee?" I asked.

"I'm going to send her the same one that's going in the paper," Jacob whispered.

I froze. Of course, Jacob was here only partially as my date. He had been taking pictures the whole time for the local paper. I groaned and he chuckled before squeezing my hand and leaning back a hair to get a clear shot of the next winner.

A tremor shook the building. Jacob started to fall from his precariously balanced position next to me, and I reached to push him back into his chair. I shoved a little too hard and pushed him through to the other side of the chair. He crashed to the floor. His finger was still depressed on the shutter of the camera, and it flashed continuously.

The light gave the room an ominous feel ... like a horror film. I expected someone with a chainsaw to turn up at any second. I scanned the room quickly as the tremors stopped and then looked down at Jacob. His face relaxed for a second, but the camera continued to flash. Then, his eyes went wide. He was shouting something that I couldn't quite make out.

There was only pain.

I was on the floor with something on my head, and I could smell blood.

My brain couldn't process anything going on around me for several minutes. However, a room full of reporters during a crisis turns into a bunch of sharks sensing blood in the water rather rapidly. I sensed movement. People were running past me. Jacob was at my side moving something around.

"Bells?" I could finally hear him again. "Bells, are you okay?"

"I'm ..." I didn't have enough air in my lungs to finish my sentence. There was a cameraman in my face. I could feel panic set in, and I started to hyperventilate. A piece of rubble was lifted off of my chest, and I found it easier to pull air into my lungs.

"Talk to me, Bella." Jacob's hand caressed my cheek.

"I'm okay." I finally got the words out. "Could you?" I motioned towards the cameraman.

"Everybody back up and let her breathe!" Jacob shouted. He moved to pick me up, but Jason stopped him.

"You can't just move her; her neck could be injured."

"I don't suppose anyone will hand me my recorder, and let me get to work?" I joked.

"You are staying right where you are, sugar." My boss took my hand. "I assume that someone's called 911?" he shouted back at the room.

I caught a few nods in my peripheral vision, mostly from editors and runners. All of the reporters had run from the room to get a jump on whatever caused the tremor. It was a great night to be a reporter ... well, a great night for everyone except for me. I glanced at Jake and realized that he needed to get to work.

"Jake, get to work," I ordered.

"I can stay; it's not a problem -"

"You and I both know that you don't get ahead that way. Now go!" I shoved him away with as much strength as my weak arms could muster.

"She's right, kid. Don't worry, I'll watch over her for you," Jason urged him to leave. Jake left reluctantly. I hoped that he'd be smart enough to stop by the car and grab his video camera as well. This was a night when anyone who could get a clear shot at the chaos had a chance at making a name for himself.

A mere hour later, the paramedics arrived with a stretcher. I spent most of that time telling Jason insipid tales about my childhood to convince him that I was still awake. I stared through the giant hole in the ceiling and up at the smoke-filled sky. Something serious had happened outside.

The paramedics secured me to a stretcher and carted me off to the hospital. They had to take me outside the perimeter to Northside hospital. I was quickly examined and discharged with a wrist splint, some tape across my ribs, and instructions to have someone wake me every few hours. Jason took me home.

"Do you want me to call my wife, and have her come stay with you?" Jason, ever the workaholic had been away from the newsroom for far too long during this crisis. I laughed and waved him off.

"I don't think I can sleep anyway." I opened the car door and made for my condo.

"Okay, I'll call in two hours to make sure that you're alive," he said just before driving off.

The air still hung heavy with smoke. It made my throat ache, but I resisted the urge to cough. It would hurt, and I knew that. So, I quickly clicked my key into the lock and ducked inside. I caught a flash from across the complex and turned to see where it came from. I could only see white stucco and black windows across the complex. I closed the door and decided that perhaps the ceiling did more damage to my head than I initially thought.

My condo always seemed foreign, like I didn't belong there. This could probably be attributed to the fact that I spent all of my time at the station, or on assignment. A pile of recording equipment greeted me in the hallway. My fingers twitched toward it, but I knew that my voice probably sounded hideous, and Jason wouldn't use anything that I could have recorded anyway. In addition, Jacob would most likely kick my butt. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Coke from the fridge. Out of habit, I turned on the police scanner on my counter.

I wished I hadn't.

Like any good reporter, I was tempted to run outside and get to work. My head and chest ached at the thought. I turned the scanner off and moved as far away from it as I could. The couch seemed like a pretty safe bet for staying out of trouble. Unfortunately, I passed the answering machine on my way over there.

Twenty messages.

**Twenty? **

I clicked the play button.

"Bella, it's mom. I heard about the explosion. Please let me know that you're okay."

"Message deleted."

"Bella, mom again. Why aren't you answering your cell phone? ..."

Crap, my cell phone. Where is it?

I looked around for my purse. It wasn't by the door, or on the counter. I couldn't remember where I'd had it last. Jason handled all of the business at the ER. Perhaps he had it. I probably had another twenty messages on my cell.

Renee had rambled the entire time I searched for my purse.

"Message deleted."

"Bella, for goodness sakes call Renee back. She won't stop calling here ..." Angela was irritated.

"Message deleted."

A dial tone sounded for the next message. I made an executive decision to hold my finger down on the delete button. I let it up one message too soon.

"Bells, it's Dad. Your mother is having an absolute conniption fit. There's a picture of someone in the rubble on the news that she swears is you..."

_Crap: The news camera._

I turned on the TV. Every station had been taken over by explosion coverage. Sure enough, among the images of carnage was one of me, face swollen and bloody, covered in rubble. Did I look that bad? I groaned and dialed Renee.

"Bella!" she shouted into the receiver. Renee was surprisingly awake for two o'clock in the morning. Her voice hurt my head.

"Mom," I rasped.

"You sound rough; are you okay? Is that you on the news? How bad are you hurt? Do you need me to come up there?" She fired off questions in rapid succession.

"Mom." I tried to get her attention, but she kept talking. Eventually, I set the phone down and waited for the constant buzz of her voice to stop. When I picked the phone up, she was silent.

"I'm just fine. Do not come up here. Yes, that is me on the news, but I've been to the hospital. I'm going to be out of work for a few days. There doesn't seem to be any major damage. Is that everything?"

"Well, aren't we in a bad mood? Are you sure that you don't need me to come take care of you?" I winced at the sound of her voice.

"I'm fine. Will you call and apologize to Angela?"

"Alright, baby. Call me if you need me." With that, she was gone.

I settled into the couch and watched the ticker scroll across the bottom of the screen while I dialed Charlie's number. The phone rang three times before he picked up.

"That you, kid?" Charlie was always calm and collected. It was a relief.

"Yeah, Dad," I sighed.

"Sounds like you've had a rough night," he commented.

"You could say that." I couldn't help but smile. Talking to Charlie was always less pressure. He trusted me enough to know that if anything dangerous was going on that I'd tell him, and that if I needed help I'd ask for it. "The roof to the banquet hall fell on me," I explained.

"That's just your luck, isn't it, kid?" He chuckled a bit.

"Yeah," I responded.

"But you're alright?"

"Yeah."

"You talked to your mother?"

"Oh yeah." I laughed but cut myself off when my ribs protested.

"That bad?"

"Spanish inquisition bad."

"Sorry, kid. Well, I'll let you get some rest. You looked pretty rough on the news." That was the official end of the conversation. Charlie was always easy.

"Night, Dad."

"Night, Bells."

I hung up the phone and flipped through the channels to find a station that wasn't running anything explosion related. Food Network was a blessing. I watched Alton Brown bake cookies, and then caught an episode of Ace of Cakes.

By three, I was slightly drowsy with a killer sweet tooth. I decided that a brief rest wouldn't be too big of a risk. I lay down on the couch and closed my eyes. Instead of sleep, I saw myself lying on the couch like I was floating on the ceiling. I couldn't feel my body. I watched with rapt interest as my chest continued to rise and fall under me. This was certainly odd.

**~V258~**

**Jacob**

_Atlanta, Georgia April 2010_

**Crap!**

Taking care of Bella was a full time job. It didn't help that she didn't want me to take care of her. I'd spent practically our whole lives watching out for her. She moved to Forks in the ninth grade, and our dads were best friends. It didn't take long for the two of us to form a bond over Harry Clearwater's fish fry and a mutual dislike of fishing.

I discovered early on that she needed me. The poor girl couldn't walk five feet without tripping. In addition, she was a magnet for any kind of misfortune. She got into accidents all the time. People ran into her. She crashed her bike. When we got older, I refused to ride in her car, because she hit things with it all the time.

Her personal life was worse though. Guys constantly tried to take advantage of her. She was pretty, and smart, but had dangerously low self-esteem. Over the years, that had improved until she met Edward Cullen. At first, he seemed good for her. She was more confident with him. I actually liked the guy. He took good care of her, and I was free to have my own life for once. I got to be normal for almost a year.

However, one day he took off without any warning. He left a note saying that he wasn't coming back, used his key to remove all of his things, and took everything that he ever gave her from our apartment. Bella was devastated. She'd been through break-ups before, but this shook her to the core. She was below square one.

I was pissed. When I developed some contacts for work, I started looking for him. It appeared that Cullen had joined the intelligence community. The foreign twerp that let it slip forbade me to say anything under penalty of death. What kind of idiot outs a spy to a journalist? I know that I'm a photojournalist, and it's not often considered "real" journalism, but I'm still a member of the freakin' press!

I stopped looking for him. However, he still showed up every once in a while. I went on location a couple of times working the same stories that Bella did only to find someone who looked suspiciously like one Edward Cullen in the background of my pictures. I did the only thing I could do; I cropped him out, because unlike some people I am a responsible adult.

She never really got over him, and seeing his picture would only hurt her more. There was a time when I though that things were better, that it'd blown over. She seemed cheerful and confident again. I asked her to marry me. Our engagement was sheer bliss for about three months until we started planning the wedding, and the look in her eyes told me that she didn't really want me. Well, that coupled with the fact that I found her in our bedroom crying over his letter. Her recovery was an act, and when I asked her about it, she came clean. Bella would always want Edward, and I was surprisingly okay with that. I have no clue why.

At any rate, I was in fact her date for the AP awards, and she did in fact get hit in the head with not only part of the ceiling, but the roof as well. It was almost predictable. I considered laughing for about half a second, because if anyone could get hit in the head at dinner, it would be her. I literally had to dig her out of the rubble.

Also predictable, she sent me away. I should have called Charlie and Renee, but I forgot. I had around twenty missed calls, mostly from her family, by the time I decided to call it a night and turn in my footage as well as my stills of the disaster. The calls stopped around two, so I assumed that she had talked to them.

Aside from the obvious injury, the night went well. I loved a big story. The adrenaline rush alone kept me going until two-thirty when I ran out of material to shoot. I was slightly shaky, and still a bit high when I checked my messages. I deleted all of them except for the one from Jason, Bella's news director. She was home, or at least she was supposed to be home. Now, whether or not Bella had listened to the nice doctors at the ER and stayed home was the question.

I stopped by the ghetto-Kroger on my way to her condo and grabbed some cupcakes. For once, they had the ones with buttercream icing instead of the weird fluffy stuff. I also picked up some ice packs and muscle rub, because chances were that Bella would feel like a train had hit her.

I rescued her purse from the floor at dinner. I figured that she'd forget to pick the stupid thing up. I grabbed it and slid it under the passenger seat in my car when I picked up my video camera earlier in the evening. I fished it out in the parking lot of her condo and wondered what good such a tiny purse could do. There's not much that she could keep in there. It was a far cry from the messenger bag that she carried at work; that thing was heavy. I collected the purse, the cupcakes, the bag full of pharmacy items, and made it to her door.

I rang the bell, and she didn't answer. So, I pounded on the door. Having no clue if she was asleep and for how long, I fished for my key ring in my pocket. My hands were shaking, and it took three tries to get the right key into her deadbolt. I said a silent prayer, because I really couldn't handle it if something bad had happened. There was no way that I'd be able to tell Charlie that I hadn't stayed with her.

Mercifully, the door swung open for me.

"Bella!" I shouted down the small entry hall. I heard soft voices and walked to the den. She'd turned on Food Network, most likely to avoid temptation. If she sat up and watched the news, then she'd want to be out there. I was the same way, except for the fact that I actually took days off and occasionally went on vacation; she didn't.

I turned off the TV and knelt by her side. She hadn't even bothered to change. Sleeping in her camisole and a skirt couldn't be comfortable. She still looked like she'd been run through the ringer. Her face was bandaged with large gauze pads that had Betadine peeking out from under them. Her left wrist was in a splint resting across her chest. I could see the beginnings of bruises up and down her arms. This was the worst she'd had it in a while.

"Bells?" I touched her shoulder. She felt a bit cold. "Bells, honey, it's time to wake up." I gently shook her.

No reaction.

I leaned down and put my ear to her chest. Her heart was beating. I probably should have checked for a pulse in her wrist first. Thankful that she didn't see where my head had been, I fished her right wrist out of the space between her body and the cushions. Her pulse was faint. I didn't know if that was normal. It was really stupid of me to try anything as far as first aid was concerned, because I was completely clueless.

"Bells! Wake up!" I shouted. The back of my neck pricked with an entirely foreign sensation like someone was touching me. I rubbed it quickly, and looked around the room. Of course, we were alone.

"Bells, I'm serious, you have to wake up, or I'm going to take you back to the hospital, and you'll be pissed off!" That seemed to work.

Bella bolted upright before wailing and clutching her ribcage. I barely got my head out of the way in time. That would have hurt; Bella's head was hard. I knew that from experience.

"Baby?" I tried to get her attention. She seemed kind of far away and groggy.

"Jake?" She shook her head and then placed her left hand on it like moving hurt her. Then, she pulled it back and looked at the splint.

"How long were you asleep, Bells?"

"Um, I don't know. I don't think I was." She blinked several times and rubbed her hand across her ribs.

"You were out cold," I said. "Let's go get you into some comfy PJs." I moved to grab her around the waist, and she stopped me.

"I fractured a couple of ribs," she said and turned herself so that her feet slid off the couch. I offered her an arm and we stood.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"I watched you put your head on my chest and pretend not to enjoy it," she mumbled.

"You were out for that," I said, somewhat taken aback.

"It was kind of weird, like I was floating on the ceiling watching you. You're a good friend, but please leave the goods alone," she joked.

There was no way that she'd seen that. She'd barely been breathing, and people don't just vacate their bodies and float. I shook my head and shrugged it off. Maybe she felt my head there and was just messing with me. That would be normal for Bella.

I ushered her into her room and stood her next to the bed while I dug through her dresser. It was empty. I tried the closet, but she didn't have any clean pajamas in there either. There was a silk nightgown that I remembered seeing on her once when we were engaged. It was nice; I brushed the fabric with my fingertips.

_Not a chance in hell, Black_, I reminded myself.

"Baby, where are PJ's?" I finally asked.

"Um, I haven't done laundry in a while," she groaned.

"Do you have a pair of those stretchy pants you like hidden somewhere? You can't sleep in that."

"There might be some yoga pants on top of the laundry hamper and a T-shirt." She looked like she could barely remain standing.

I rushed into her bathroom and found the Mt. Everest of laundry piles. Bella needed a day off to do laundry at the very least. I vowed to start a load after I got her in bed. I nearly tripped over a shoe on my way back into her bedroom and found her leaning on one of the bedposts. Her eyes were slowly drifting closed.

Handing her the clothes and walking out of the room wasn't an option. I really hoped that in the morning she wouldn't be mad at me. I looked at her and tried to figure out how to do this as quickly as possible. It wasn't like I'd never seen her naked before, because I had. It just wasn't my place to see her naked anymore, and I didn't know how she'd feel about it.

I decided to go with the skirt first. I walked up next to her and tried to figure out where the heck the zipper was. I eventually found the thing on her hip and tugged it down. The skirt dropped to the floor with a sudden whisk across her legs. It didn't look like she was wearing hose, so I stepped back in front of her and supported her weight while trying to shove her leg into a pant's leg. I felt like I should be sweating by the time I finally got it in there. The second leg was a bit easier. I pulled the waistband up and thanked God that she was wearing a slip, because I didn't need to know what her underwear looked like. As soon as I got the pants in place, I pulled off the slip.

Her top was next. The camisole slipped off fairly easily, and I was glad to find out that she was so taped up that it didn't matter if I accidentally saw anything; someone at the hospital had fortunately navigated bra-alley, and she was covered with a bandage. Surprisingly, she cooperated when I slipped the shirt over her head; she put her own arms through the sleeves.

"Bed time," I whispered.

She nodded and settled back into her unmade bed. I pulled the duvet over her, and she grabbed my wrist. Bella was suddenly lucid.

"Don't leave me alone," she commanded before her eyes turned kind of soft and weepy. "I keep floating away. Please stay and hold me still."

"I'm not going anywhere, but I need to go put some of your clothes in the washer." I tried to find a spot on her head where I could pat reassuringly. There was one spot that looked like it might not hurt, I pet her hair carefully and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll be right back."

I managed to get a load of laundry started. Bella was in an eerily still sleep when I checked on her. So, I folded myself into a shape that would fit on her couch. The TV was still set to Food Network. I lay there and watched until my mind grew numb, and I fell asleep.

In the morning, I woke to find a very groggy Bella in the kitchen. She was attempting to make coffee. Her little hands shook around the handle of the carafe. I moved swiftly to take it from her. If I hadn't known better, I would have said that she'd been up all night working on the story with the rest of us.

"Sorry," she said and sat down at the other side of the island on a barstool. She swayed a little. I considered steadying her and coaxing her over to the couch but decided against it.

"How's your head?" I finished filling the pot with water and dumped it into the machine before tossing in a few scoops of coffee and flipping the switch.

"Hurts," she whined. "I don't feel like I've slept a wink."

"Well, you did." I smiled at her. She didn't respond. Instead, her head dropped toward the counter before snapping back up at the last second. "I think you need more sleep."

"It won't help," she whined. Bella never whined. She cried, she yelled, she threw things, but Bella Swan was not a whiner. "When I close my eyes it's like I just kind of float over my body and watch it."

"Odd dream," I said.

"No, it's not," she said a bit more emphatically. "I ... I don't think I'm actually sleeping."

"So, instead of sleep you think you're having an out of body experience," I scoffed and regretted it. Bella really did look like hell. "Go back to bed. We'll talk about this after you've slept some more."

She was probably just tired because her body was trying to heal. At least that's what I told myself as I flipped the coffee maker back off and went to finish her laundry.

* * *

**End note:**

**Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed. **

**For those who are reading my other stories ch10 and 11 of The Search are at beta but ebhg has limited computer use at this time, so it could be a few before the update goes up. I lost a lot of my notes several months ago, and that is part of the reason for delay on my older stories.  
**


	3. Chapter 2 The Beginning

**A/n:**

beta'd by dorothysrubyslippers

twilighted beta: ladyrip (I copied her edit here this time)

This is THE chapter, it tied for 3rd place as a one-shot for the "Killing Me Soflty with his Song" contest.

Once again: Please pay attention to dates and points of view, otherwise you will be confused.

**Music_: _Ella Fitzgerald, "Someone to Watch Over Me"**

* * *

**Edward**

_Athens, Georgia  
__30 January 2007_

In her usual way, Alice knew that I had Wednesday off work. The other Major in my unit and I traded off regularly. Our Colonel didn't seem to mind so long as the unit was covered over the weekend. He needed Saturday to spend with his kids, so I took over for him. I spent a quiet shift checking translations and making sure that all of the wiretaps were being monitored. We had some new linguists whose work had to be monitored, and until they were up to scratch, Major Hamilton and I would be working around the clock.

Alice called on Tuesday morning and asked me to make the hour and a half drive from Ft. Gordon to Athens, Georgia, that night in order to "see a show." I knew perfectly well that "see a show" was code for, "I have a girl I want you to meet." I wasn't excited about the prospect of meeting another one of Alice's friends.

I love my sister. However, Alice's taste in friends was always a bit eccentric. They all had names like 'Moonbeam,' or some other new-aged crap. I did, however, miss my sister a great deal, so I agreed to the midweek trip knowing that it included a set up.

Alice had scored tickets to a show at The Georgia Theater. In order to make it there in time, I had to leave directly from base, without any time to stop by my house in North Augusta and change. I had an overnight bag in the back of my car, and I probably could have packed an extra set of clothes to slip into on the way, but I often found that the military uniform in that particular town meant that people left me alone.

I approached the theater, which was really more of a nightclub, at around nine. The show hadn't started yet. I gave my name to the bouncer at the door, as instructed by my sister. He looked at me and my uniform twice before asking for my ID and checking his clip board.

"Oh, you're with Bella!" His demeanor suddenly changed and he smiled broadly. "She and the pixie are already inside, most likely making nice with the band. Have fun, man."

"Um, thanks," I said and pushed the door open. Whomever Alice was hanging out with seemed to have some pull. He'd said Bella and the pixie. The pixie had to be Alice; it was an apt description of my little sister. I decided to adopt it as my own.

It was obvious that the band was fairly popular, as the dance floor and bar were both filled with college students milling about, and it was still early. I fruitlessly scanned the crowd for my little sister. She was only five feet tall, so finding her would have been a miracle. I gave up and decided that she could search for me much more easily.

I decided to hit the bar for a drink, as the night was likely to be long. It was when I turned that I saw _her_. I could only see her profile, but it was enough. My heart skipped a beat, and I stopped breathing for a brief moment. Her long, brown hair fell down her back and over a 1960's Army issue BDU blouse. It appeared to have been tailored just a bit to accentuate her natural curves. She wore a black top underneath it with jeans and a pair of Chuck's.

Typically, I wouldn't have approved of the altered military uniform, but in context, I loved it. She was somewhat slim but possessed soft curves. I desperately wanted to touch her, to feel those curves up against me on the dance floor. I really hoped that Alice didn't seriously intend for me to like this 'Bella' girl, because it seemed that I had found the reason for my existence.

The bartender, a rather large Native American man, got the girl's attention and spoke to her for a moment. She threw back her head and laughed, exposing her white throat and causing her hair to swing back and forth.

She took a long draw from her straw and turned to scan the room. Her eyes met mine, and she blushed instantly. Her eyes were brown and warm. I felt like she knew me with that one glance. I could feel all of my sins laid bare before her, and she knew my soul. I wanted it to be better for her, but there was no hiding. Just as I was about to step forward the bartender spoke to her again, and she turned completely away from me.

A tiny hand wrapped around my bicep. I knew that it was my sister. I looked down, and she merely smiled at me.

"Shall we?" she asked.

When I furrowed my brow, her smile grew.

"I want you to meet my friend, Bella, the girl at the bar whom you've been staring at for a solid two minutes." She pulled me along. "By the way, in case we don't get to talk again tonight: Hello. You're welcome, and be safe."

"What's that supposed to ..." Any thought of conversation with Alice ended. She'd brought me to my Mystery Girl.

"Bella Swan, meet my brother, Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Bella," Alice introduced us before she disappeared into the crowd.

"Hi," Bella whispered shyly. She blushed again.

"Hello," I said in return.

"So, you're Alice's brother?" she asked.

"That's what they tell me," I responded. "I take it that you're the new best friend responsible for keeping her from studying?"

"I wouldn't say that." She smiled. "Alice is my TA for Psych 1101."

_How old is this girl? Did Alice just set me up with jailbait and leave?_

I not so smoothly looked at the back of her hand and found a black "x" there. She was under twenty-one. What had Alice been thinking? She set me up with a kid. I had to be at least eight years older than her. The fact that she was taking Psych 101 led me to believe that it was a bit closer to ten.

"She's your TA?" I asked. She nodded in response. "Do you typically hang out with your TA's?"

"I hang out with Alice," she said. "Could you please stop staring at the x on my hand? It's a bit disconcerting. I'm twenty, and I seem to get along better with people older than myself." She took another long sip of her drink, which I could guess was soda.

"Sorry, I just ..."

"You just reacted exactly how Alice said you would." She smirked.

Of course Alice and her precognitive ability had known exactly how I'd react. She'd probably seen the whole thing in a vision. It seemed that my dearest sister had finally laid a trap for me that I couldn't resist, and she knew it.

"You know about Alice?" I asked.

"She has an uncanny ability for knowing what's going to happen," Bella mumbled. "Sometimes, I think that she sees the future."

_Smart girl, very perceptive ... _

I really liked her.

"Since it seems to be an issue for you, exactly how old are you, Edward?" She chewed on her straw and glanced at me from under her lashes.

"I'm twenty-eight." I couldn't help but smile at her.

"Oh, you're so old!" she mockingly whined and twirled a piece of hair around her finger. She dropped the façade and drank the last of her soda before turning back to me. She suddenly looked very sad and vulnerable. The act was over; this was the real Bella. I had the urge to touch her but restrained myself. "I'm here as a favor to Alice. If you don't want to spend time with me, I'm okay with that. Enjoy the free pass to the show, and I'll hang out with my friend Jake." She indicated the bartender.

I'd bruised the girl's ego and felt bad about it. It wasn't that I wasn't interested in her. I was simply shocked by her age. I had to make a decision. I could either walk away and never see her again, or I could take a chance with this girl. In truth, I didn't think that I had the strength to walk away from her.

"Jake," she called the bartender, waving her hand a bit in the air, and turned completely away from me. Her voice sounded like it was on the verge of breaking.

"Please," I said and reached up to pull her hand down. My fingers touched the back of her hand, and I felt warmth spread from her body to mine. The sensation spread like a fire from my fingers, to my chest, to other areas. I wanted to touch her more. I could completely lose myself if I wasn't careful.

"I'm sorry," I leaned in and whispered in her ear. She brought her hand down willingly and allowed me to hold it in mine. Bella drew in a shaky breath before expelling it forcefully, and bringing her other hand up to her eyes to wipe them. She was very sensitive. I felt like a world-class jerk. She turned to give me a fake smile, and I didn't feel any better.

"What can I do?" I asked. She shook her head and looked down. My heart ached. I caused her pain, and it was physically painful to me to watch it. "What are you drinking? Can I buy you another? Maybe we can talk ... get to know each other? Unless ... Have I completely ruined my chances here?" I sounded like a fool. I was desperate to fix this.

"It's just a Coke," she whispered.

"I'll get you another." I touched her cheek with my free hand. Her breath hitched, and she nodded. It seemed that I had the same effect on her that she had on me.

"Got a problem here, Bells?" a gruff, masculine voice asked. I turned briefly to see the bartender, Jake.

"I was just apologizing," I answered for her, turning my head to see her face. "I'd like to buy the lady another Coke."

"Bells?" he asked. I dropped my hand from her cheek, and she nodded at him. "Anything for you?" he asked me a little less gently.

"I'll have a Coke, too."

"Two Cokes, coming up," Jake sighed. I heard glasswear clinking but didn't look away even when the drinks were placed in front of us.

"Listen ..." She started fidgeting with her free hand. "I don't really date. So, I'm not used to rejection. If you're going to walk, I'd appreciate if you'd do it now and spare my somewhat tender feelings." She looked away.

"Bella," I got her attention. "I'm not going anywhere." I returned my hand to her cheek and leaned closer to her. My forehead touched hers and I breathed her in. She smelled like vanilla and flowers. I started to tilt her head slightly so that I could kiss her until I heard a throat clearing from behind the bar. "Sorry," I mumbled and released her.

Jake was irritated. His arms were folded across his chest, and I knew that I'd done something wrong other than not paying him. I pulled out a few bills for the drinks and apologized to him. I seemed to be doing a lot of that.

"Do you want to go up to the balcony? It's quieter up there." Bella's teeth tugged at her lip.

"Anything you want," I responded. We started to walk away from the bar, but Bella was called back after we'd made it a few feet. I was positive that her friend was telling her what I would tell any female friend of mine, 'be careful.' She smiled and laid a hand on his bicep, patting it lightly before walking back to me.

"He's just concerned," she explained.

"I would be, too."

She led me back toward the entrance and up the stairs to a very smoky balcony. I was fairly certain that it wasn't just cigarettes that I smelled. My uniform would have to be cleaned, and soon. There were rows of seating in the balcony. I followed her to the center of the front row. Her head bobbed slightly to the beat drummed out by the band below. There were few other patrons up there, and Bella was right about the noise level. It was a little quieter. I hadn't realized that what we registered as whispering had probably bordered on yelling prior to moving away from the noise. We sat down and faced each other.

"So... You're in the Army," she said nervously.

"Yeah, I'm stationed at Fort Gordon."

"That's a bit of a hike for a week night. My mom, sister, and stepfather live in Augusta."

"Do they?" I smiled and she nodded. "I picked up a shift for a friend over the weekend, so I have tomorrow off. The drive's not so bad."

"It's about two hours, and I'm guessing that you had to come straight from work. It must have made for a long day. Are you going back tonight?" she asked.

"I was planning on crashing at Alice's." I captured her hand again. "What's your major?"

"Journalism," she answered. "I work for the campus radio station; that's how I got you and Alice into the show tonight."

"I was wondering about that."

"Why?" Her forehead crinkled and her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Well, you seem a bit shy but everyone seems to know you," I explained. "The bouncer at the door, the bartender ..."

"I'm less shy on the radio," she said. "I'm on really early in the morning when a lot of these guys are just heading home, so a lot of the late night, early morning crowd is familiar with me. However, Jake has been a friend of mine since we were kids."

"He's very protective of you."

"He doesn't like to see me hurt. He's had to watch it before. Jake fancies himself my bodyguard. He thinks that I need protecting." She grimaced.

"You don't think you need a bodyguard?" I couldn't help but ask questions; I wanted to know everything about her.

"I'm just a college student, not some movie star. I'm hardly worth the trouble." Her expression bothered me when she said this. She really believed that she wasn't worth it, not that she could take care of herself, but that her friend shouldn't bother to take care of her.

"I think that you are," I said. "You're beautiful, and gentle, and rather forgiving considering my treatment of you earlier. I think that you need someone to watch over you."

She snickered quietly, and I gave her a questioning look. Her eyes were dancing.

"What?" I prompted.

"This band actually covers that song," she said, grinning from ear to ear.

"I think they're my new favorite band," I said. "Perhaps they'll play it."

"Perhaps," she murmured. That didn't sound promising. I wondered if she found my questions too prying and was considering bolting.

"Am I being too nosey?" I asked. "I just want to know about you."

"No, it's fine," she answered and rubbed her thumb across the back of my hand. It had the instant effect of relaxing me. "I generally don't talk this much; it's kind of embarrassing, actually."

The girl was a walking contradiction. She didn't like to talk, but she was majoring in journalism and seemed to have half of the town wrapped around her little finger. She probably didn't realize that fact.

"What do you do?" she asked, changing the subject.

"I'm a Major attached to the Signal Corps, which means that I monitor a bunch of linguists all day," I answered.

"Okay, so it's safe to assume that you're a polyglot?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am." I smiled and put on a little bit of charm. Girls tended to like a polite man in uniform.

"Yeah, save the ma'am for work," she chuckled and shook her head causing some hair to fall out from behind her ear. "The whole 'officer and a gentleman' act doesn't work on me. My dad's a cop."

"Ah, so you've been bred to be a skeptic," I teased. "I think that I can change your mind on that." I reached up and touched a strand of her hair before lightly touching her cheek again. I loved touching her.

"I take it that the world of translation is an exciting one?" Her voice dropped slightly in tone. I wasn't sure, but I thought that she liked me touching her too.

"Not usually." I shook my head and frowned. "I can't say much about what I do, but it'd be nice to be assigned someplace other than the Signal Corps. What I do right now is less exciting than some other positions, but I have to take what's available when my assignment runs out, and the choices are sometimes limited." I sighed. "It is nice to be able to visit Alice, though."

"You two seem very close," she commented.

"We are. For a time growing up, we were all each other had. Our mother died when we were young, and it took a few years for Dad to find Esme, our stepmother." Why was I telling her this? This was definitely not 'I just met a girl in a bar' conversation. She was just so different.

"If you don't mind my asking, what happened to your mother?"

From anyone else, I would have refused to answer the question.

"Essentially, she worried herself to death," I sighed. "She developed high blood pressure and several other health related problems. Ultimately, it killed her."

"Was she a work-a-holic, or something?"

"No, my dad's job was pretty dangerous. She worried about him all the time until it finally ran her into the ground," I explained.

"I'm sorry," she said with a grimace.

"It's been a very long time," I said.

"Still, growing up without a parent has to be rough." She placed her hand over mine. I hadn't realized that I was still touching her cheek.

"Where did you grow up?" I asked to change the subject.

"A few different places," she answered, and for a moment I thought that she'd leave it there. I was disappointed until she spoke again. "I was born in Washington State, moved to Phoenix with my mom when I was around three, and then came back to Washington in the ninth grade to live with my dad."

"I thought you said that your mom was in Augusta?" I asked.

"She is now. Her husband, Phil is-well, was-a minor league ball player. He moved the family to the South, and that's when I went to Washington. They started off in Florida, but now he has a job with the Augusta Green Jackets. I'm not quite sure what exactly he does, but I know that he doesn't play anymore," she explained.

"Ah, okay."

It was then that the music changed.

"There's a saying goes, love is blind," the lead singer started. Her voice was suddenly deep and husky.

I slid my hand from Bella's cheek down her shoulder, her arm, and landed at her hand. I brought it to my lips and stood.

"Dance with me?" I leaned down and whispered into her ear. She had to dance this one song with me.

"Um ... I don't ..." She leaned back a fraction of an inch to look at me. I knew that I was probably staring at her intensely. "We'll never make it to the dance floor, it's a three minute song," she argued.

"Then, right here," I said.

"I'm a terrible dancer," she whimpered, biting her lip and looking around wildly.

"Please, just this once, this one song," I pleaded. Her eyes softened, and she moved to stand.

I pulled her close to me and rocked gently to the music in the narrow space between the seats and the edge of the balcony. I managed to turn us in a tight circle, singing along. The band was playing Ella Fizgerald's version. I harmonized with my best Sinatra.

"Looking everywhere

Haven't found [him] her yet ..."

Bella relaxed into my arms, and I leaned my head down close to hers. My nose brushed over her cheek. She shivered and I pulled her even closer. Her soft curves fit perfectly into my body. There was no space left between us, but it wasn't enough. I continued our little circle and kissed the shell of her ear on impulse. She gasped and burrowed her head into my shoulder, while tightening her grip on my arms.

"There's a somebody I'm longing to see

I hope that (s)he turns out to be

Someone who'll watch over me ..."

I moved from her ear to her cheek. She lifted her face slightly, and I found her mouth. I kissed her lightly at first, just brushing my lips against hers. She responded in kind, and I pressed a little harder. My hands slid down to rest on her hips. Her mouth opened as I grazed her sides, and I tentatively reached my tongue out to touch hers.

Suddenly, she was glued to me. She took control of the kiss, moving her hands up, one into my hair and the other on the back of my neck. Her tongue rubbed aggressively along mine. I think that I moaned. She made soft, insistent noises that made me wish we were someplace more private. We stopped dancing entirely.

When we parted, the music had ended and a cheer erupted from below us. It was then that I noticed the spotlight. Some jerk operating a follow spot had decided to draw attention to us. Bella blushed from head to toe, and gave a tiny, mortified wave to the crowd on the dance floor. I took a cue from her and waved as well, only to hear Alice hoot and whistle in response. The pixie would pay for this; she had to have seen it coming.

I ushered Bella out of the light, farther back on the balcony where there were no spotlights. She let out something between a laugh and a sob.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just ... that was a bit out of my comfort zone," she said.

"Mine too."

"Do you think that we can hide up here until everyone else is gone?" she asked.

"Doubtful," I replied and then kissed her forehead.

"I'm ... I'm so sorry," she said.

"Why?" I couldn't figure out why she would feel that way. The kiss, although very public, had been the best in my life.

"That was very forward of me, and I don't know how it happened." She was staring intently at her shoes. I hooked a finger under her chin and lifted it until she looked at me. When our eyes met, she let out a little shiver.

"Other than the spotlight that was, hands down, the best kiss ever," I whispered to her.

"Really?" She sounded so hopeful, like no one had ever given her a compliment.

"Definitely." I kissed her forehead again and breathed her in. "We could wait until everyone else is distracted by the music again and sneak out. It might be less awkward than waiting until closing," I suggested.

She nodded, and we waited until the concert seemed to be back in full swing before slipping back down the stairs and out the door. The bouncer smirked at us, obviously having heard what happened. Bella swatted at him playfully.

"Where are you parked?" I asked.

"Oh, I... um... rode with Alice, but the station's not too far. I can walk and sleep there for a bit." She ducked her head and pulled away from me. There was something about that that I didn't like at all. It was a strange possessive sort of feeling that was altogether new to me.

"I'll drive you," I volunteered, tugging at her arm a little to pull her close to me. I felt better with her body tucked next to mine.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I led her to my car. I'd taken the Volvo that evening, fully anticipating having to drive a drunken Alice and friend home. I opened Bella's door and settled her into the passenger seat, resisting the urge to click her seatbelt for her although my fingers twitched toward the strap. Thankfully, she saved me and pulled the belt across her own lap. She nuzzled her head into the leather seat and inhaled with a sleepy but pleased expression.

I reluctantly walked away from her to my side of the car. She gave me directions down the short few blocks to the station. I was glad that she'd agreed to ride with me. The area looked dark and unsafe.

She directed me to an older yellow building that seemed to stick out like a sore thumb on that section of campus. I rushed to open her door, only to find her standing in front of me when I reached it. She was going to have to get used to a man behaving like a man. I didn't know what kind of jokers she'd been hanging out with in the past, but her standards should have been higher.

I walked her up the sidewalk to an automatic door, which seemed to be shut off. She reached for a small call box on the side of the building and punched in a few numbers. The phone buzzed, and a male voice answered.

"WUOG, this is Jack."

"Jack, it's Bella. Can you come let me up?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, sweet thang, I'll be down in five," he answered. The box crackled and disconnected.

She turned to me and said, "You really don't have to wait."

"I want to." I took her hand and led her to a little stone wall that stood just outside the door. I sat down and pulled her with me. The night was quiet and still, but I didn't want to leave her alone. A lot could happen in five minutes.

I held her hand, and we sat in companionable silence. It wasn't something that I was used to being able to do. Normally, I was surrounded by noise. The guys in my unit were hardly ever quiet and neither was Alice.

Bella's head drifted softly down to my shoulder. I felt it settle there and couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. She nuzzled her nose into my jacket, and I pulled an arm around her. I was completely content.

"Bella, would you mind if I called you this week?" I asked.

"Of course not," she responded quietly. I felt her words hum along my skin and warm me from the inside out.

"I'd also like the opportunity to take you out on a date, maybe next week sometime." The following week seemed so far away.

"I'm a little busy, but I'd love to do something with you," she said. "I've got a few hours free on Monday after my news shift."

"News shift?" I asked and sniffed her hair.

"I do the evening news for the station on Monday nights, and I'm one of the anchors for our Wednesday night news program." Her voice was soft and almost dream-like.

"I'll buy you dinner on Monday, then."

"Okay." She nuzzled against me again.

I heard an elevator inside the building ding and looked up to see a scrawny-looking kid emerge from it. He made his way to the sliding doors and pressed a button.

"Coming, Bells?" he asked.

"I'll be right there." We stood, and I pulled her close to me. I placed the briefest kiss that I could manage on her lips and released her.

"Sleep well, Bella. I'll get your number from Alice," I said.

She nodded and walked unsteadily toward the kid. I assumed that he was Jack. They walked up a few steps to the elevator, and I waved one last time when the doors closed. My heart ached just a bit in her absence, but as I ran over the evening in my head I fought the urge to dance over to my car like a fool. My life was about to change forever.

* * *

**End Note:**

This is where I'm going to admit how much of a geek I truly am... I tried to combine the Ella Fitzgerald and Frank Sinatra versions of "Someone to Watch Over Me." I'm not done yet. If I get it to work, I'll share.

**Thank you for reading, and double thanks to those of you who review.**

As a point of clarification: The movie/TV series Stargate took the idea of Remote Viewing and went a bit crazy with it making it a physical experience, incorporating the gates... yadda yadda yadda... The CIA's Stargate program was a remote viewing program, in which they used RV to obtain intelligence information.

One more thing: I'm being a bit creative with my use/descriptions of RV. If you want facts go look up Joe McMoneagle's work.


	4. Chapter 3 Selfdestruct

A/n: Thanks to my beta'ing team: ladyrip, dorothysrubyslippers, and Aleighy

There are not words to express my gratitude.

* * *

**Jacob**

_Atlanta, Georgia__  
__April 2010_

My neck ached from sleeping on Bella's old lumpy couch. However, I found a Coke in the fridge and cracked it open. There was no telling how long it'd been in there. Bella didn't drink the stuff, so it was likely that I'd bought it months ago and left it in the fridge. It was cold and sweet and caffeinated. I drank half of the bottle in one gulp.

My morning was quiet but busy. I kept a constant stream of laundry in and out of her washer and dryer. I hung her work clothes up to take to the dry cleaner. The apartment didn't require much attention otherwise since Sleeping Beauty didn't spend much time there. I _did_ move her recording equipment out of sight into a closet in her entryway. There was no way that I was allowing her the temptation that seeing that crap would cause. She worked constantly. If she saw the equipment, she'd likely be out the door to cover the aftermath of last night's incident before I could stop her.

I checked on Bella periodically. She looked pale and still. I checked for a pulse in her wrist and made sure that she was still breathing every time I went into her room. It was frightening to see her like that, like she was dead. Truthfully, it scared the crap out of me.

She looked far too much like she had after Edward's disappearance. We never spoke of it. However, she had dropped about twenty pounds and looked lifeless. It was something that I never wanted to see again. She still hadn't healed from that fiasco.

_She'd better be able to go back to work soon_, I thought as I considered that work was her coping mechanism. The station was her only reason to haul her butt out of bed in the morning and behave like a human being. With that taken away, she would likely regress back to the lifeless shell of a woman that Edward had left her two years prior.

Around eleven I shook her awake. She was still disoriented and groggy, but I got her into the kitchen and up on a stool with eggs and sausage in front of her. She gagged at it.

"No ..." Bella shoved at the plate. I silently shoved it back at her and gave her the look. I meant business, and she knew it. She speared some of the egg with her fork and tried a bite. As a show of good faith, I removed the sausage and made her some toast. She gave me a grim smile.

I turned to make her a cup of tea. Although coffee was her favorite, it would most likely punch a hole into her sensitive stomach. I heard her fork hit the plate before the crack of her chair hitting the floor.

I whipped around the counter to find Bella on the floor. Her eyes were wide open and staring at the ceiling. She was shaking.

"Bells?" I asked.

"Right here." She blinked a few times, and her eyes focused on me.

"What happened?"

"I fell," she stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Obviously," I smiled. "Do you know how you fell?"

"Not a clue," she breathed and tried to sit up on her own. I shifted and pulled her up with my right arm behind her back. This wasn't normal, even for Bella.

"Where are your discharge papers from the hospital?" I had to be doing something wrong.

"Um... I'm not sure... maybe in the pocket of my skirt. I didn't have my purse last night." She shook her head, trying to clear it, before her hand shot up and pushed at her temple.

Her skirt ... Where had I put the skirt?

I leaned Bella up against the underside of the counter and went in search of her clothes from the night before. I'd hung them to take them to the drycleaner. There was a crinkling noise coming from her pocket.

I pulled out the paper, marveling that it had been folded into such a tiny rectangle. Once the creases were sufficiently smoothed out against the wall, I skimmed the instructions. A neurologist was listed for follow up within twenty-four hours. I pulled out my cell and dialed.

**~V258~**

**Bella**

_Atlanta, Georgia__  
__April 2010_

Jake was a man on a mission. Within twenty minutes of picking me up off of the floor, he had me dressed and bundled safely into his car with an egg sandwich and a travel mug of chamomile tea. The tea had to have been Angela's from her last visit because I despised the stuff. We were headed to the neurologist's office.

I let my head loll back and roll toward the window. I was so tired. If I could just get some restful sleep, I'd be okay. However, every time I closed my eyes, it was like I couldn't engage in sleep. I would feel my body slip away with a faint tingling in my extremities, and then spend a few hours watching myself from outside of my body. It was disturbing to say the least.

"Eat," Jake grumbled from the driver's seat.

I sighed and took a bite. The toast was cold but crispy, and the egg had cooled. It didn't really taste like much, and my stomach turned with each bite, but arguing with Jake when he was being protective was a fruitless battle. I ate the sandwich, but the tea was repulsive and there was no way that I was going to drink it.

I had shoved the last bite of egg sandwich into my mouth when we made it to the medical complex. Jake pulled into underground parking and got his ticket. The darkness of the parking garage felt good to my head. Sunglasses weren't helping nearly enough.

"Let's go." Jake pulled my door open and wrapped a protective arm around me. I hadn't remembered the car stopping. He kept his arm around me for support as we walked to the elevator at the far end of the garage. I stumbled a few times, but that wasn't out of the ordinary.

The elevator didn't make my stomach feel any better. It was a large, industrial model that jerked as it started and stopped. It also reeked of antiseptic, which turned my stomach.

Jacob's almost unnaturally hot arm around me was tight. I could tell that he was afraid for me. Whatever was wrong was scaring him to the point of overprotective smothering. We'd been like this before. He was always there for me. Every date, boyfriend, colleague, and friend had to pass through Jake. He was with me for every scrape and injury. He'd held my hand in so many hospital emergency rooms that I could no longer remember all of them.

I really felt bad for always being a burden on him. From the time that I was thirteen and he was fourteen, Jake had taken care of me. It was like the moment I moved to Forks, and we met each other again that he took on that role. I could never figure out why. I knew that he loved me more than anyone else, but what he felt didn't seem like the same type of romantic love that I'd had for someone else.

Jake was loyal and devoted. In truth, I'd tried to make things work with him after a certain someone left me. It took a few months for me to make that decision. Jake had been taking care of my needs, forcing me to go to class, typing my homework ... I felt bad, so I faked getting better. I got out of bed in the morning. I pushed myself to go to class and get the work done. I pushed myself to take extra assignments at the radio station because it meant that I couldn't give other matters too much thought.

I also kissed Jacob. I snuggled up to him on the couch. I couldn't be happy, so I did what I thought was right at the time. Jake was thrilled at my progress, and I was happy to be making him happy. The only problem lay in the fact that I committed a grievous sin. I led him on. I knew that I didn't love him the way that I'd been in love before. The passion wasn't there, but making Jacob happy made my world more bearable. It made me feel like I was paying him back for all of the time that he'd given up for me since adolescence. I loved him in my own way, but I was never in love with him.

As the relationship progressed, it became harder to stop. It spiraled out of control. I did everything that was expected of the perfect girlfriend. Then, he asked me to marry him, and I was the world's best fiancée...at least until he figured out that I wasn't at all passionate about the relationship and that I just wanted to please him.

That was mere months prior to the AP awards and my head injury. He was still listed as my emergency contact and next of kin. Who else would I have put in that position? We hadn't even told my family that we'd broken off the engagement. We just weren't planning the wedding any longer. He was still the only man in my life, and his devotion to me left little time for him to pursue the ladies-even though I wished that he would make time for himself.

I must have been biting my lip as I considered our situation. Jake was staring at me far too intently for comfort. He was trying to work out whatever concern was currently plaguing me. I wasn't about to bring it up.

The elevator lurched violently to a stop, and I nearly tumbled out of his grip. Jake tightened his grasp to the point that I was positive there would be bruising. The doors slid open to wash a new burst of sickly air over us.

I hobbled under Jake's direction to the counter on that floor. The medical center was adjacent to a hospital but operated entirely separately. Each floor housed a number of physicians of one or two related specialties who shared office staff. All of the offices shared the same billing and laboratory staff. My gynecologist and GP shared an office located two floors down from the one where we stood. This floor housed neurology and neurosurgery.

I signed my name to the check-in sheet on the counter, and the pretty blond receptionist took the clipboard down immediately to cross my name off. She seemed pleasant.

"Miss Swan, before you sit down, can I get your insurance card and driver's license?" she asked.

I leaned away from Jake slightly and dug through my purse to find the necessary cards. My balance wavered slightly only to be steadied by my friend. I slid the cards across the counter and was given a clipboard with an intake form in exchange. Jake took the paperwork from me when we sat down and filled out the entire thing, including my medical history. The fact that he knew the date of my last period was disturbing.

He really did need a life of his own. I had to become more self-sufficient. As soon as I could manage daily activities on my own, I would make that my goal.

We waited for a couple of hours before I was finally called back. Jake's presence caused a bit of a stir among the nurses, but he didn't even notice. The poor guy was too focused on me to even realize that he was being drooled over by the entire nursing staff. I think that they gave me a bigger exam room because he was there.

Jake clenched his jaw when the doctor introduced himself. It was immediately obvious that he wasn't interested in helping me, and Jake could tell. The doctor's manner was short and clipped, as if he felt like he had better things to do.

"Ms. Swan, I'm Dr. Mason. I can see that you were injured in last night's fireworks," he said without even glancing at me.

"Yes, part of the roof collapsed on my ..." I began to answer.

"I know, I have a copy of your discharge paperwork," he cut me off.

Jake practically growled from his seat next to the exam table. I silenced my watchdog with a look. Growling at the doctor was not the way to get oneself taken seriously.

"To be perfectly honest, there isn't much that I can do to help a simple concussion ..."

"Dr. Mason," Jacob interrupted. "Bella has been falling over."

Dr. Mason looked up from my chart for the first time. His cold eyes bore into Jacob's. I could sense the testosterone in the room rising exponentially. This was going to be bad.

"Mr. Swan ..."

_Crap!_

"Black," Jacob corrected. The Doctor huffed and regrouped quickly.

"Mr. Black, what exactly is your relationship with Ms. Swan?"

"I'm her fi-friend." He almost said fiancé; I could hear the slight twinge in his voice. I really had to stop hurting Jacob.

"As her friend, I would suggest that you allow her doctor to work," he snapped and closed my chart before turning to me and scribbling on his prescription pad while he spoke. "Ms. Swan, I'm writing you an excuse for the next week of work."

"A week!" Jacob and I practically shouted at the same time.

"Given the circumstances, I feel that at least a week of rest is warranted." Dr. Mason thrust the slip of paper into my hand, and walked out the door without another word.

"That was a waste of twenty dollars," Jake grumbled as he helped me to my feet.

We left the office in silence. Jacob stewed the entire ride down the antiseptic-laced elevator and to the car. He settled me into the passenger seat and very nearly fastened my seatbelt for me. I slapped his hand away, and he recoiled with an apologetic look.

"Sorry, I just..."

"You just get overprotective when I'm hurt," I finished his sentence. Jacob gave me a tight smile, closed my door, and walked around to the driver's side.

An uncomfortable silence settled back over us as he steered the car through the garage. We couldn't keep doing this.

"You don't have to take care of me; you know that, right?"

"I told Charlie that I would," he said through his teeth.

"I'm sure that Charlie didn't mean like this," I said and ventured a glance in his direction. He was determined not to listen to me. "I don't think that he meant for you to give up having a life of your own..."

"I have a life," he growled.

"Jacob, your life seems to consist of brief instances in which you live for yourself surrounded by much longer periods of waiting for me to get into trouble and cleaning up the aftermath," I argued.

"Friends take care of each other," he growled again.

"Friends don't buckle each other's seatbelts or know intimate details about each other's medical history, but most of all, friends don't try to commit career suicide by skipping the biggest local news story that they're likely to get this year."

"I worked the story," he protested.

"Only because my news director forced you to do it!"

"You don't want to hear this any more than I want to say it ..."

"Then don't say it," I snapped.

"I love you, always have, and always will." My heart broke for him. It was just like the day that he found out that I wasn't over Edward.

He'd come home early, and I was crying again. I'd made a point of not crying around Jake for at least a year. Once again, my tears were Edward-related. I couldn't help the fact that I craved him. I missed his arms wrapped around me, the way that he said good night, his lips and breath as he kissed my hair, and most of all the electric feeling that happened with even the most innocent of touches.

_It was winter, early February to be specific, and that was the roughest time of the year. We'd both met and he'd left in the winter on the cusp of February. When Edward left, he took everything that was in my apartment that could remind me of him. It was disturbing. He actually thought that he could erase himself from my life when he'd spent a year being such an integral part of it. _

_He left a note, and I kept it. I looked over the perfectly neat and orderly writing that seemed to be an indication of how he lived his life. Whenever I felt like the world was closing in on me, I would pull out the note and read it. As painful as the experience was, it still helped me to feel close to him, to feel something strongly. Sorrow was the only thing I could feel with any conviction._

_So, on that day in early February, I sat in our apartment on the bed that Jake made love to me in, and I read Edward's note again. I was like some foolish kid who cut herself just to feel something. I subjected myself to rereading the letter just to feel it again. The emotional wounds ripped wide open. I took some masochistic pleasure in the pain that it caused._

_I was crying hard enough that I didn't hear the door to the apartment. I didn't hear Jake's heavy footfalls coming down the hall. I didn't even hear it when he opened the door to the bedroom._

_"What's wrong, baby?" Jake asked._

_I jumped to refold the letter and hide it, but I was too late. His hand caught mine and stopped the action. I didn't want to look at his face as he realized what I was holding. I had been discovered. A year and a half of hiding my feelings was about to be flushed down the drain. _

_I looked up, and watched his face crumble with hurt as he pulled the paper from my hands and examined it. He knew that I'd been holding this back. This was the reason why I hadn't already planned the wedding and walked down the aisle with him. My heart just wasn't in it._

_"I thought that you got rid of this." His voice was so heartbroken. He raised his eyes to mine, and I had a new reason to cry. I'd hurt my best friend terribly. _

_"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I can't do this anymore. I thought that I could pretend and make everything right, be who you needed me to be since you've always been exactly what I needed, but I can't."_

_"Bella," he sighed._

_"I'm so sorry, Jake, so so sorry."_

_I moved into my own place as soon as I could find one._

It was like being back there again. He'd told me he loved me again.

"I can't ..." I started.

"I know that you can't love me back, Bells. I know it, okay? You've said it enough. I get it! It would be so much easier if I didn't love you, but I can't help it. It's hard to just be your friend, and I really wish that I could just let you go. Maybe if I left I could, but I refuse to leave you. You're depressed, and accident prone, and no matter how much you argue with me, you need my help," he spat. His entire body was tense in the driver's seat.

I hadn't meant to pick a fight. I just wanted Jacob to consider his behavior. I wanted him to realize how destructive this relationship was for him. If I could give him back a fraction of what he had given to me, then it might be worth it. However, there was no sense in continuing. I didn't have anything left to give; everything I had was already Edward's and had been since we met.

I did the only thing I could do; I dropped the subject.

Jake navigated through the city like an expert. There were several roads still closed due to the explosion from the night before, and those left were packed with cars. He wove his little Rabbit through to the few open side streets to get away from the throng of confused people trying to conduct business or rubberneck.

We'd turned back onto a slightly more trafficked street when my stomach growled. Jake looked over at me and smiled. The tension in the vehicle let up slightly.

"Hiding a wild animal over there?" He smirked.

"Yes, an angry pack of wolves." I smiled back.

"Well, let's feed them before they start doing any real damage." He shifted lanes and pulled into the closest fast food joint. "Do you want to eat here, or take it home?"

"I guess we should eat here since it looks like I'm going to be stuck home for a while," I sighed. He whipped into a space, grinning at the squeal that I let out at being thrown back into my seat.

"Come on, baby, let's eat."

We got out of the car and made our way into the restaurant. Jake ordered half of the menu for himself. I got a chicken sandwich, which Jake upgraded to a meal because he seemed to think that I needed French fries and a regular Coke. I didn't fight him on it.

I ate my food and tried to listen to the report that was playing on the restaurant's TV. Jake was having none of that. He was talking loudly enough to drown out the TV and most of the other diners. I really wasn't listening, and he knew it. I was fairly certain that he was talking about the car.

Personally, I made a point of not talking too much in public. The beautiful thing about working in radio was that no one knew what I looked like, but my voice was distinctive. It took people a while to figure it out, but regular news listeners tended to get a bit excited when they put a face with a name. It was worse when there were three or four of us who worked at the same station together; it put the voices in context. I listened to Jake prattle on and nodded at the parts that he seemed to think required a reaction. I really just wanted him to be quiet and let me listen to the news though.

"We need to talk about this week," I finally interrupted him.

"What about it?" His forehead crinkled.

"Well, you're going to have to work eventually, and I'm going to need help with some things that may be awkward ..."

"I've seen you naked, Bells." He dropped his voice.

"That's different," I said. I could feel the blood rush to my face.

"I don't see how."

"You were ... _occupied_." I blushed deeper.

"Is that what we're calling it?" He raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"Jerk," I whispered.

"My point is that I've seen it," he said.

"Yes, but under a different context; I think that it'll be awkward, and I'd prefer to have someone else help me."

"Fine," he huffed. "Who do you suggest we call for help then?"

"I think that Mom or Angela would be willing to help," I answered. It wasn't the most comfortable solution because it was more likely that Renee would come than Angela, and Renee would be more of a demand than help.

"Suit yourself." He was hurt and more than a little perturbed by my suggestion.

I felt bad about it, but there was no way that I was allowing him to unwrap the bandage around my ribs, or play nursemaid to me for a week. It was worth listening to Renee go on about whatever new hobby she'd picked up just to avoid that situation.

"Would you like me to call them now?" he asked.

"No, I'll take care of it from home."

"I'll stay until they get there," he said. He looked like a wounded puppy. I fought with my guilt for a few minutes. He'd be happy if I just let him take care of me, but letting him continue to put his life on hold and put my needs before his own wasn't what was best for him. It was a tough choice, but the easy road would just be more painful in the long run.

"Okay," I agreed.

"Are you done?" He was eyeing my last five fries. I passed them over to him and got up to use the bathroom.

I made it ten steps when it all happened at once.

A rushing sound filled my ears.

The world tipped sideways.

My head hit the ground.

Jake screamed my name repeatedly.

I was on the ceiling again looking down at my own body. Jake and several other people were bent over me, checking vitals, and talking to me. My body lay there unresponsive. I could tell that they were getting a pulse, and that I was breathing because no one had started CPR.

Jake smoothed the hair out of my face.

"Bells? Bells, can you hear me?"

"Sir, if you could back up ..."

"No!" he shouted at the uniform-clad girl who was trying to pull him away from me. "She's my responsibility."

"But, sir ..."

At that point, I watched my body go rigid. It was rather peculiar, watching myself on the floor from several feet above. My body shook and began to convulse. I was quickly turned on my side to face Jake, who tried to hold onto me.

"Bells!" he shouted.

All I could do was stare. The situation was insane. I was seizing on the floor of a fast food restaurant, but I wasn't in my body. How exactly did that work? I felt surprisingly calm about the situation.

"Bella, come back to me. Bella, please."

I watched as the seizure ran its course, and my body went limp. My head lolled back, and Jacob kept it from hitting the floor. He pulled my body closer to him and held it.

I felt rather than saw myself return to my body. My perspective changed instantly. I blinked away the blackness that clouded my vision and opened my eyes to see Jake. His dark brown eyes shifted from panicked to relieved. I blinked rapidly, because my vision seemed foreign.

"Jake?" I asked.

"Yes?"

"I think I need to go home," I said.

* * *

**End note:**

Any similarities exhibited by characters to real life people should be ignored.


	5. Chapter 4 A Kiss is Just a Kiss

**A/N:**

Thanks to my beta's dorothysrubyslippers and ladyrip, as well as my prereader Aleighy.

ladyrip also validates this baby for Twilighted.

* * *

**Chapter 4: A Kiss is Just a Kiss?**

**Edward **

Athens, Georgia  
31 January 2007

I hadn't wanted to leave. If it had been appropriate, I would have followed her up to the station and stayed with her all night only to follow her home and into her bed. The strange thing was that I didn't even want sex; well, I did want sex, but if it wasn't offered then I wouldn't mind. I just wanted her. I would hold her, and run my fingers through her long brown hair, and curl up sleepy and content to stay with her forever.

I was a fool and a sap. One evening with this beautiful woman had turned me into a teenage girl. I should have gone to find Alice. My possibly inebriated sister's well-being should have been at the forefront of my mind, but it wasn't. My heart and mind had gone up that elevator, and I felt completely incapable of leaving the parking lot.

Thus, my obsession with Bella Swan began. I sat in my car and turned on the student radio station, listening to absolutely horrendous music and waiting for her shift to begin. Perhaps hearing her voice and listening to the music that she selected would ease the ache in my chest. It was three in the morning before I finally heard her. Her shift came and went. Listening to the few minutes out of every hour that she would speak was my only relief, and that was minimal. It was six when she passed the microphone to the next DJ.

I expected to see her exiting the building, but she didn't. It was six; certainly, she had to get home and get a shower before class. I drummed my fingers on the dashboard, and kept my eyes on the door. I kept the radio tuned to her station and was soon rewarded.

"Good morning, this is Bella Swan with WUOG news. Today is Wednesday, January 31st ..."

She had the morning news shift after her DJ shift. Unless she'd slept before going out she had to be exhausted. I wondered if she had morning classes as well. Could this girl have had more going on in her life?

Someone tapped on my window. The police officer folded his arms and stared at me as I pushed the button for my window.

"Major." He took in my uniform and obviously noted my rank. "I think you'll find that the ROTC building is a block that way." He pointed east. "Visitor parking is available at the Tate center. You'll have to move your car. This lot is reserved for patients being treated by the Psych department." The officer moved his finger to point at the sign behind me, labeling my chosen spot as 'patient parking.'

"I'm sorry, officer. I'll move my vehicle," I responded and moved to turn the key.

"Have a good day." He smiled before walking away.

I begrudgingly pulled out of the space and decided to go to Alice's apartment. I didn't know my sister's schedule but hoped that she would still be home. I needed a place to crash for a few hours before embarking on the long drive back to the base.

Alice was, indeed, home. She answered the door with her spiky black hair in more disarray than usual. Her eyes were still heavy with sleep, and she wore a large t-shirt with cow-print pajama pants. My sister shuffled away from the door, leaving it open for me.

"Good morning, sunshine," I teased. Alice flipped me off over her shoulder and dragged herself back to her bedroom. I closed the door, and locked it. Alice didn't have a roommate, so she had a guest bedroom, a luxury for a graduate student. Then again, Carlisle, our father, always made sure that we had more than we needed. My house in North Augusta was proof of that. I wondered why Alice chose to take an apartment rather than letting Dad buy her something more substantial.

Once in the guestroom, I removed my boots and BDU blouse before lying down on top of the bed. I didn't even bother disturbing the blankets. Alice had probably seen me sleeping on top and didn't put sheets on the bed anyway.

I slept for most of the day, dreaming of brown hair and soft little curves. We danced, we kissed, we did other things, all in the privacy of my dreams. I woke up completely frustrated. My subconscious mind had convinced me that she was there. When I rolled and touched cool blanket instead of soft, warm skin, I grumbled to myself and decided to get up.

Alice had left a note on the bedside table:

Bella Swan: (706) 542-8481

Don't overthink it.

-Alice

How was I supposed to not overthink this? Alice had introduced me to the female equivalent of heroin. One kiss and I was hooked. I decided that I was already over the edge and dialed.

"WUOG, this is Fred."

Why had Alice given me the number for the radio station?

"Anyone there?" Fred sounded annoyed.

"Um, yeah, I'm looking for Bella," I said.

"Hang on."

I heard a muffled conversation in the background.

"This is Bella," she finally answered. I felt my body relax instantly.

"Hi, it's Edward ... from last night," I said, somehow managing not to sound like a complete idiot.

"I know who you are," she chuckled. The smile in her voice sounded like bright, white, light; it was happiness. "Have you seen the paper this morning?" she asked under her breath.

"No, I'm still at Alice's. Have you had lunch?" I needed to see her.

"It's three in the afternoon, Edward. Lunchtime is over," she laughed again. "I've got some work to get done here, sorry."

"No, that's fine, I shouldn't have slept the day away and missed my chance," I said. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

"A couple hours in the newsroom, but that's about it."

"You need more sleep than that," I chided, instantly kicking myself.

She's a grown woman.

"I've got twelve uninterrupted hours of sleep scheduled as soon as I finish the story I'm working on." She didn't sound upset or annoyed.

"Then I guess I'll leave you to it. Are we still on for Monday?"

"Of course, and Edward, you should really grab a copy of the Banner Herald." She sounded a bit nervous. I wondered what could possibly be in that paper that had upset her.

"I will."

"Bye," she half whispered.

"Bye," I replied reluctantly.

"Oh, Edward," she caught my attention just before I hung up. She sounded anxious. "You really need to get a copy of the paper before you leave."

"I will," I replied, hesitating before I hit the end button. "Bella?" I put the phone back to my ear.

"Yeah?" she hesitated before replying. I thought she'd hung up.

"What's in the paper?"

She sighed. "Promise not to freak out, because I've already done enough for the both of us, and I called the editor, but he refuses to print a retraction... and the damage has really already been done anyway ..."

"Bella?"

"It's in the Arts section, not that anyone reads that ... okay, I read it... but it's not likely that anyone you know would get the arts section to the Athens Banner Herald, is it?"

I was on my feet and scouring Alice's apartment for the paper. She had a subscription so there had to be one somewhere. She'd left it out on the breakfast bar.

There, in print, was a picture of me, in full uniform, kissing one Bella Swan.

"Wow," I whispered.

"Not exactly my choice of words," she said.

I ran my fingers over the photo. We looked very intimate. Just looking at the picture flooded my mind with the memory of her lips, her body ...

"You haven't read the caption have you?"

I forced my eyes down from the picture to the caption, laughing when I read it. Bella made an annoyed noise.

"Up and coming reporter and local music scene darling, Bella Swan kisses a random fly-boy at the Georgia Theater," I laughed.

"This isn't funny," she huffed.

"Oh, it is. I'm in the Army not the Air Force, definitely not a 'fly-boy.' The uniforms look nothing alike, how could they..."

"Edward, we're in the paper!" she shouted into the phone.

Her attitude stung a bit. Did she not want to be seen with me? Had I completely read the situation wrong? Did Alice set me up for failure?

"I'm sorry," I tried. I wasn't really sorry for kissing her, or that we were in the paper, but it seemed like what she wanted to hear. "Can you tell me why you're so worked up about this?"

"I just..." she trailed off, at a loss for words.

"Is it me?" I asked, allowing my insecurities to get the best of me.

"Oh, no! No, it's not you, and I don't regret it," she answered quickly, stumbling over the words while trying frantically to find some sort of articulate answer. "I just don't like attention."

"What's done is done." I stared at the picture again. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Bella, don't worry about this. It's one picture, buried in a small town newspaper. What harm could it possibly cause?"

She didn't have an answer for that but seemed to relax. I got her home phone number and said a painful goodbye since she needed to get back to work. I took the paper and stowed it in my bag. I felt connected to her just looking at it. Perhaps it would help me make it through the better part of a week before I could see her again.

Out of courtesy, I left Alice a note before throwing on some fresh clothes and heading home. Two hours was a long time. I spent the drive thinking about that photograph, and the kiss that led to it.

**~V258~**

**Edward**

Ft Gordon, Georgia  
1 February 2007

Thursday morning was met with a note on my desk to see Colonel Johnson. It was in his secretary's frantic script. She'd obviously been in a hurry to leave the note and get back to her desk. I fully expected Johnson to be in a mood when I made it to his office.

When I opened the door, nothing could have prepared me for what met me in that office. My stepmother, Esme Cullen, sat in the chair across from Johnson's. His face was bright pink with either anger or embarrassment; it was hard to tell which. Esme had turned to face the door when it opened, and her tight-lipped smile informed me that something was, indeed, wrong. My first thought was about Dad. However, if something had happened to him, she would have looked more upset than disappointed, and Esme was disappointed.

"I'll leave you to it, Ma'am," Johnson said, rising from his seat. He patted me on the shoulder on his way out of the office. "We have more to discuss when she leaves, so stay put, Major," he ordered.

Silence settled into the room as soon as the door clicked closed. Esme stood and rounded the desk to sit in Johnson's chair. Out of habit, I stood at ease with my arms behind my back. She raised an eyebrow, and placed a manila folder on the desk.

"Sit down, son," she sighed. I moved to the chair that she vacated and sat rather tensely on the edge. Esme had been an MP during her time in the Army and commanded that respect even though she'd retired years earlier to care for me and Alice.

"I received a phone call yesterday morning," she said, retrieving the folder and leaning back. "Can you guess who called me out of the blue on a Wednesday morning?"

"No, ma'am," I answered as confidently as I could. Sitting across from her in Johnson's office was reminiscent of being a teenager being called down to Dad's study to discuss whatever transgression I'd most recently committed.

"Chelsea Smith called. She's been working with the Navy Supply Corps School in Athens on their eventual relocation to Newport." Esme raised an elegantly arched eyebrow, again. There was something that she expected me to understand, and I wasn't getting it.

"I take it that your conversation was less than pleasant?" I asked, still not knowing exactly what she was getting at.

"Were you in Athens with Alice on Tuesday night?" she asked.

How did she know I was there?

"Yes, ma'am," I responded.

"Would you like to explain to me, exactly why my son is in a bar, wearing his uniform, and kissing one 'Miss Swan,' and why exactly I had to hear about this from Chelsea Smith of all people?" Esme was seething. Chelsea had worked on the same base she did while in the Army but had quit only to sign with the Navy a few years later. The woman irritated Esme, but they kept in contact nonetheless. I'd had no idea that Chelsea was in Athens.

Esme threw her folder down in front of me. A scan of the newspaper article sat neatly on top. I had to suppress a smile looking at the picture.

"Something funny, Edward?"

"Um, no, ma'am," I said and quickly altered my facial expression.

"Do you in the very least have honorable intentions with this one?" she spat.

"Actually, I think I might be in love with her," I admitted. Esme's demeanor changed for a millisecond before she switched back and continued her interrogation.

"You do realize that you've skirted very close to violating the Uniform Code of Military Justice." She paused as I blinked at her. I hadn't done anything overtly wrong. Soldiers were allowed to wear their uniforms in bars. Esme sighed, "Where are your hands, Edward?"

I looked at the photo again and noticed that one hand was sitting dangerously close to the swell of Bella's breast. Had I groped her and not realized it? Surely I would have remembered that. Kissing was one thing, but engaging in more heated activities was frowned upon.

"I'm sorry," I muttered sheepishly.

"For goodness sakes, change your clothes next time," Esme chided. "How long have you been seeing the lovely Miss Swan?"

"I actually just met her," I explained, ducking my head. "I have another date with her on Monday."

"You should be very glad that I got this information before your father did. You likely would have had an entire file on the girl in front of you by now, and he'd have agents following her." Esme smiled. Dad was overprotective and reactionary. I had no doubt in my mind that, given the situation, he would have done every ounce of research that he could on Bella. "He's in Russia this week, so you can count yourself lucky that I've been able to keep this little tidbit from him."

I nodded.

"You will bring her home to meet me if things get serious?"

"Of course," I answered with a smile.

"Alice likes her?" Esme stood; I rose with her.

"They're friends," I verified and pulled my stepmother into my arms. It was hard to believe that she had been chewing me out a few moments prior.

"I'm glad that you're finally showing interest in someone," she mumbled into my chest. It had been a few years since I'd been interested in a girl for more than a hook-up. My family turned a relatively blind eye to my behavior, as long as it didn't become public. I was always very careful not to be seen with the random women, or form any lasting attachments.

"I really do think she's it for me." I squeezed Esme a bit tighter before letting her go.

She backed up and took a look at my face.

"This won't do, you need to look properly chastised when I leave. I wouldn't want to jeopardize my reputation," she chuckled.

I changed my expression, and she patted my cheek.

"I won't press, son, but bring her home when you feel comfortable."

"I will," I promised.

"Now, go face the music with your Colonel." Esme gave me a peck on the cheek and waltzed out the door.

When Colonel Johnson returned, I received a reprimand that sounded more like an "attaboy." He figured that Esme probably dragged me over the coals enough for both of them. When I got to my desk, I found copies of the article taped on every surface and a banner made out of copy-paper that read, "Way to go, FlyBoy." I laughed before retrieving a Private to help me tear it all down. I used some scissors to trim one copy down to just the picture and retaped it next to my computer monitor. It was going to be a long week.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thanks for Reading! Reviewers get to skip the lecture on the Uniform Code of Military Justice with Esme. She feels very strongly about this; Edward got off easy.

It has however been brought to my attention that Edward really should get dressed down for being in a bar at all in uniform. It's a "no no"


	6. Chapter 5 Broken

**A/n:**

Thanks to dorothysrubyslippers and ladyrip for beta'ing

* * *

**Jacob**

_Atlanta, Georgia  
April 2010_

Bella seemed fine after the seizure. I knew that I didn't want to take her back to Dr. Mason, and that the ER wasn't really an option as all of the hospitals were probably still making it through a backlog of patients. We'd be there for hours if I took her in, and she seemed to need rest more than anything else. She had started to doze off relatively quickly, so I opted to take her home.

I decided to go ahead and call Renee and Angela. The problem was deciding which one to contact first. Renee was essentially a housewife and would likely have the free time to dedicate to driving up and caring for her daughter for a couple of weeks. However, Renee was likely to annoy Bella enough that she would send her packing sooner than needed. Angela worked from home and would likely be able to pack up her office and work from Bella's spare bedroom, but Angela hated me. I really didn't want to call Angela.

After a few more moments of hesitation, I decided to man up and call Ang. She was the most logical choice to take care of Bells and run interference with Renee. Angela was Bella's stepsister. The two were relatively close but had a rocky past. I always thought that Angela was the reason that Bells came to live in Forks rather than moving with the family to Jacksonville as a teenager.

I took a deep breath, grabbed Bella's phone from her purse on the console, and dialed. As the phone rang, I considered chickening out and hiring a nurse. I could probably afford one, but before I could hang up, she answered the phone.

"Thanks for finally talking to Renee!" Angela practically shouted.

"Angela, this is Jake," I sighed.

"Oh, how's it going, dog?" Angela's somewhat icy veneer when dealing with me snapped into place. She blamed the distance in my relationship with Bella on me and insisted that I must have done something to be put in the doghouse. Hence, she referred to me as "dog." It was fortunate that Bella hadn't told her family that the engagement had been called off, just postponed.

"Things are bad," I confessed. "I think that Bells downplayed her injuries to the family."

"How bad is it?" she sighed.

"She has a couple of cracked ribs, and she's having seizures from the head injury," I said. "She needs someone with her all the time and is insisting that I go back to work. I can't leave her."

"I'll be there tonight." Angela didn't hesitate before committing to take care of her sister. That was the beautiful thing about Angela; her family came first no matter what. She might not have liked me very much, but she would do anything for Bella.

"Thank you," I said, overwhelmed with gratitude.

"Yeah, well, I'm doing it for Bella. Speaking of which, has she moved back into the apartment yet, or is she still mad at you?"

"She's not mad, Angela. She wants space for personal reasons, so she hasn't moved back in. Please just drop the subject," I snapped.

"Fine, I just want to know what you did because you had to have done something. This is Bella we're talking about, the most forgiving person in the world," she continued to prod.

"I'll see you tonight." I hung up the phone and tucked it back into Bella's purse.

Traffic still hadn't moved more than a few feet.

There had to be something that I could do for Bella. Her doctor obviously wasn't interested in helping. I was still livid thinking about the visit. We'd gone in for help, and he completely wrote off her condition. That never would have happened back in Forks.

I dug around in my pocket for my phone. If we were going to be stuck in traffic for hours, I might as well make good use of my time and do some research. I started with general head injury information, but the out-of-body experience was what really bothered me. She knew what happened while she was asleep, and that just wasn't normal.

At least an hour later, we were within sight of the complex, and I had uncovered some interesting information. There were a few research studies running that looked at something similar to what Bella was describing. I'd saved the e-mail addresses of a few professors who were close enough to Atlanta to make the trip. Maybe one of them could help.

Bella started to stir in her sleep.

**~V258~**

**Bella**

_Atlanta, Georgia  
April 2010_

The traffic and the car faded away. I was aware of Jake beside me, talking on the phone. He'd called Angela. I didn't have to wait for the all too familiar sensation of leaving my body and floating above it to take over. What wouldn't I have given for actual sleep?

I witnessed the conversation between two of the people who loved me the most. It seemed that Angela would be coming to my rescue. I was eventually going to have to come clean with my family that Jacob and I were no longer planning a wedding. I'd already told Charlie, the least judgmental of them. I knew that he wouldn't blame Jacob.

Jake began playing with his phone while we continued to sit in traffic. I watched him from the ceiling for a long time until I felt a pulling sensation in my stomach. It was like a string had tethered me to something or someone, and I was being drawn in without my consent; I was flying to a different destination. The sensation of vertigo took over as blackness and lights swirled around me, forming a sort of tunnel. I landed with an inaudible thud and crashed to the ground in the middle of nowhere.

I took in my surroundings and realized that I must be somewhere in the Pacific Northwest given the vegetation that grew around me. The trees were green, and thick, lush grass covered the ground around me. Wildflowers sprang up from the grass in little clusters. I'd never been good at identifying them, but they brought back memories of hiking with Jake when we were teenagers.

"Who are you?"

I jumped and spun around to locate the source of the voice that startled me. I nearly fell to the ground when I recognized him. Edward stood several feet away. He didn't look like the same Edward I remembered. His face had developed a couple of lines, his hair was significantly longer, and he looked absolutely exhausted.

"Edward?" I breathed.

"Bella?" he said and took a tentative step closer.

I stepped back, and he hung his head.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"What I always do, I'm waiting for you to tear out my heart and leave," I admitted. I'd dreamt of Edward often over the years since he'd left.

"Even the you I create in my subconscious hates me," he commented as he looked around. "The question is: why are you here in my sanctuary?"

"I have to admit the setting is new, but this is most definitely my dream, Edward, not yours. You're the imaginary one here," I sighed and sat down on the grass. It should have been slightly damp, but in dreams, certain details are often lost.

He approached and sat down in front of me. We were both cross-legged and just out of reach. He looked remorseful as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Where are we?"

"Oregon," he replied. "This is a meadow several miles off the beaten path from Esme's parents' house. I found a game trail that led here once when I was a kid."

"I didn't know that Esme was from Oregon," I commented.

"We used to visit her parents for Easter every year. She comes from a big family; when things would get too loud, Alice and I would sneak off here to get some peace and quiet," he explained. "But why are you here, now? Are you in trouble?"

"No," I answered. "Jake is handling me with kid gloves as always. Angela is coming up to Atlanta tonight to help take care of me. I'm a bit scared, and they're worried, but other than that, nothing else is new."

"The accident, that's why. I must be trying to resolve …"

"Listen, I appreciate this front of actually caring about me, but if we could go ahead and get to the part where you leave, I'd appreciate it," I snapped.

_These dreams always leave me shaky and broken for days afterward._

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"If you were sorry, you would have come back long before now."

"That's not …" His face contorted. "I have to go … I have a mission."

Edward and the meadow were suddenly pulled away from me. I felt the same dragging sensation that brought me to the meadow pulling me away. I tumbled through the air, watching the blur of darkness and colors pass me until I dropped.

The seatbelt cut into my chest and neck as my body lurched into it, sucking in a breath of air. I was startled and disoriented. I could feel my ribs screaming at me to stop as I pulled in deep breaths of armor-all scented air. My eyes darted around until they landed on Jake. He had turned in the driver's seat and placed a hand on my knee in an effort to calm me.

"Bells? Bells!" Jake's usual calm demeanor had evaporated.

"I'm okay," I managed to say. "Just startled."

"You were _dreaming_ again."

He'd heard me. My face flamed red with embarrassment. How many times had Jacob been forced to hear me dream about the elusive Edward Cullen, the one person whose memory he'd never live up to? I felt like such a jerk.

"It was different this time," he volunteered.

I could only nod in response.

"How did you know about Oregon?" he prodded just a bit further, obviously feeling some latent, masochistic desire kick in.

"Oregon?" My eyebrows involuntarily scrunched together.

"Yeah, Edward's stepmother is from Oregon. I wasn't sure if you knew that. I know you tried to contact her in DC without any luck. I had just assumed that you would have called Oregon had you known…." His explanation left out some key information, like how he had information on Edward's stepmother and how he'd known I tried to call her.

"You're hiding something," I stated calmly, in an attempt not to sound like I was accusing him of prying, which I was.

"Yes," he admitted a hundred times more quickly than I ever thought possible. I stared at him in disbelief. The air in the car hung silently around us for a few moments before he decided to enlighten me. "I searched for him…. after." Jake scratched his chin and refused to look at me; instead he stared at the bumper of the car in front of us. "He's gone completely off the grid, Bells. He's no longer military intel, hasn't been since just before he left. Edward's a spook."

"A what?" I shook my head to clear it.

"He's a spy, Bella," Jacob explained.

"Really?" I scoffed.

"I found out through a contact. He's working for some company that contracts with the CIA." He still sounded serious.

I felt my jaw drop open. Edward was a spy. Truthfully, it probably wasn't that big of a jump, and I didn't know what his other assignments had been prior to the Signal Corps. Perhaps he'd been one before, and I just didn't know it.

When Jacob spoke again, he was looking at me with compassion. "You really need to put him behind you, Bells. He doesn't want to be found."

I closed my mouth and nodded obediently. The problem was that I didn't know how to do that. I still loved Edward whether or not he'd been forthcoming. I still wanted him even if his job was dangerous and would likely keep us apart more than we were together.

Jacob whipped into the complex parking lot, forcing my eyes to open. I must have dozed off for a few minutes. He pulled into the space in front of my apartment and turned off the car, then immediately turned his head to face me.

"You've never allowed yourself to feel the pain, Bells. He was a significant part of your life, even if it was for just a short period of time." He reached over and patted my hand. "When he left, it was sudden, like he died. I think that you need to treat it like that, like he died. You need to grieve."

"But he's not dead, Jake," I sighed.

"He might as well have died. It's been two years. He's not coming back, baby. Let's just treat it like what it is. The man has moved on to a different life. The Edward that you knew, the one you loved, is probably dead anyway. People change when they do what he does."

"So, you're saying that we should treat this like he died, not left me," I mumbled, feeling my exhaustion more acutely.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Bella, but the Edward you know died after he left you," Jacob said with a tinge of sadness in his voice. He was trying to help, to make it real. "It's time to face facts and let him go."

I could feel a tightening in my chest, and the emotional wounds that I'd been hiding ripped open again. The hole in my chest was suddenly fresh. The pain mirrored my physical pain from the explosion. Edward, my Edward, was dead, and there would be no bringing him back.

"It hurts," I gasped like someone desperately trying to pull in one last breath of air before drowning.

"It sounds cruel, but I think that you need to feel that in order to let him go," he said.

I didn't have to wait for the tears to come; they flowed down my cheeks. Jacob unfastened my seatbelt and pulled me into his lap. I sobbed and sniffled, leaving a trail of snot on his shoulder. We stayed there for several long minutes until I must have cried myself out, and everything went black.

* * *

**End Note:**

Happy Memorial Day! Go thank a Soldier.

Just as a point of clarification, Bella involuntarily jumped to Edward, and it doesn't look like either of them realized it.

Thank you for reading!


	7. Chapter 6 Grilled

**A/n: Thank you to dorothysrubyslippers and ladyrip for their mad beta'ing skills.**

**A warm welcome and thanks to the fabulous alaskancoppertop who is now prereading V258. She's brilliant.**

**More notes at the end.**

* * *

**Edward**

_5 February 2007  
Athens GA_

I was wrong-painfully, blatantly wrong. The picture of us from the newspaper, now crinkled and worn in my pocket, did not help me make it through the week. As a matter of fact, it may have made being apart from Bella harder. I spent the entire week pulling it out or rubbing my fingers along the soft edges of the paper. I obsessed about what she was doing; I very nearly went so far as to attempt a remote viewing jump to the radio station just to see what she was doing.

It took a lot of willpower, but I refrained from spying on her. It would have been easy since she was at the radio station all the time. I found the live stream online and listened to it religiously. More often than not, she manned the news desk. If I called Carlisle, I could get the phone at the radio station tapped. However, I didn't.

Monday finally arrived. I brought a change of clothes to work with me and changed at a gas station on the way. I had no desire to have another run in with my stepmother, or with Colonel Johnson, and I didn't want to call Carlisle's attention to my potential relationship with Bella. Carlisle wasn't exactly a fan of my love life, and I didn't blame him for that. I'd had a lot of one-night stands. Bella was different, but it wasn't likely that Carlisle would believe that due to her age. Those eight years would matter to him.

Truthfully, the eight years bugged me just a bit. I wanted to pretend like it didn't, but it did. I felt kind of like an old man. Now, if things worked out, in another fifteen years that age difference would amount to nothing. I'd met the girl once, and I was thinking about the future. That was not good. It was kind of rare that I put my heart out there; I hadn't done that since high school. In addition to which, I was turning into a girl.

Bella had asked me to meet her at the radio station after the Monday night news program. I planned to enter Memorial Hall in time to listen to the broadcast from the lobby, provided that I was allowed to sit in the lobby. I'd never had a reason to enter Memorial Hall. Alice was always in her office in the Psychology building across the street.

I parked in the visitor lot this time, since I didn't want to explain a second offense of parking in the psychology patient parking to the police. The lot was a block over and down in a ravine. I scoffed at the steep price for hourly parking but dutifully took my ticket. It was worth it.

It took several minutes to find the radio station. Apparently, Memorial Hall was constructed in such a way that not all parts of the building could be accessed from the same entrance. The only way to get to the radio station was to use one of the side entrances and take the elevator on the north side of the building. The elevator opened to reveal a black and white checkerboard floor and a door into the station on the left.

I tried the door without pressing the bell and found it unlocked. I guessed that college radio stations didn't have to worry about security. The lobby was a large room with red carpet and red couches from the 1970's. It also seemed to be the central hub for the station. It was a giant rectangle with doors on all sides. A light over one of the doors read, "on air." I could hear Bella engaging in some banter with a guy from another room. I strolled over to let her know I'd arrived.

When I looked in the room, I found Bella hunched over an old dot matrix printer that noisily printed line after line of text. She had a highlighter in hand and was marking the printout. She was wearing that inexplicably fitted BDU blouse again and a very snug pair of jeans. I was going to say something but couldn't unlock my jaw as I stared at her ass.

"Kyle, how much time are you giving me?" she called through a door to her right.

"Can you keep it under ten?"

"Crud, Gorbachev is apparently calling out Bill Gates for pressing charges on a schoolteacher for piracy," Bella huffed.

"Save it for Wednesday, Bells," a female voice called from the next room over. "Local news comes first, you know that."

"I know, I know," she groaned.

"Bella?" I called from the doorway.

"Edward!" She spun around. "You're early."

"Do I need to go?"

"Oh, um, no… I just… well, hi!" she stuttered shyly. Watching the emotions play out over her face was amusing to say the least.

"Hi," I mimicked her shy tone.

"Hi," she said again.

"Bells, is there someone out there, or do I need to haul you across the street because you're talking to yourself again?" the female voice called. A tall, thick, brunette entered the room and folded her arms. She glanced between Bella and me. "Do you have a date?" she asked Bella, sounding inexplicably shocked.

"Um, yeah…" Bella bit her lip. "Edward, this is Andrea, my news director; Andrea this is my… my Edward."

"Your Edward?" the girl raised an eyebrow at Bella before turning to me. I could see the exact moment that the realization dawned on her that I was the mystery man from the paper. Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline, and her hand covered her mouth. "Oh, Bella, I do believe that drinks are on you," she commented, then turned back to me. "You're the flyboy everyone's been talking about."

"Actually, I'm in the signal corps," I said.

"Okay…" Andrea stared at me.

"The term flyboy generally refers to pilots," I explained.

"Um, okay, whatever," Andrea dismissed me. "You're on in two, Bella."

"No problem. I'll be right there." Bella turned back to the printer and ripped off the long sheet that she'd printed.

Andrea ducked back into the other room.

"I have to go. You can either sit in here or hang out in the lobby. I'd give you a tour of the newsroom, but there just isn't time. Andrea's going to record a couple of stories when I finish," Bella apologized nervously.

"It's fine, Bella. I knew you were going to be on air; I just wanted to listen."

"Well, the couches stink, but they're really comfortable. I'll see you when I'm done?" She bit her lip again. I took a step closer to her and touched her cheek.

"Of course," I whispered as she leaned her cheek into my hand. It felt perfect, comfortable, like we'd been together for a long time instead of being two people who'd just met five days prior. I stepped back, fighting the urge to kiss her, and returned to the lobby.

I have to admit that I've never been so interested in the news in my life. It probably helped that I was listening to Bella. Her voice was amazing. Somehow she made a 2.9 trillion dollar budget sound sexy, and not in a porny "I'm trying to sound sexy" kind of way. I really was in trouble with her.

The ten-minute newscast passed quickly, and Bella was soon in front of me, messenger bag over her shoulder and a smile on her face.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

"Yes, where to, milady?" I stood and took her hand.

"Hmmm… have you been to The Grill?" She grinned.

"As a matter of fact, I haven't," I responded.

"Do you like malts?"

"Malts?"

"Yeah, like a milkshake but different," she explained somewhat inadequately. I instantly knew what she was talking about.

"Sounds good. Shall we retrieve my car?" I led her to the elevator.

"The bus might actually be easier," she said.

"The bus it is then," I agreed.

The elevator doors sprang open, and we had to step apart to allow a man with a guitar to pass between us.

"Hey, Bells." He nodded.

"Hey," she returned the greeting.

Once we were in the elevator and the doors closed, Bella reached out and held two buttons down. I looked at her, confused for a moment, before she nodded at the floor display. The word 'hi' popped up as we passed between floors. I laughed.

"It's a very friendly elevator," she explained.

"I can see that," I chuckled.

"How was your drive?"

"The usual, slow through Washington…"

"It's always slow though Washington, isn't it? There's that one cop that sits right where seventeen breaks off… sorry… I tend to talk a bit too much when I'm nervous." Bella let out a little laugh that betrayed her anxiety.

The elevator bounced as it reached the ground floor. Bella nearly lost her balance but recovered before I had the pleasure of helping her.

"It always bounces like that," she complained under her breath as she exited the elevator. She was moving faster than me. I caught up to her on the steps just before she reached the automatic door and took her hand. She stopped for a moment before relaxing and squeezing my hand with her own. I looked down at her and smiled the same second that she looked up.

We fit together like puzzle pieces. Her fingers fit between mine like they were made to be there.

She led me to the bus stop, and after a short ride, we got off downtown. Athens, Georgia, is your typical college town. The downtown area is filled with bars, pubs, clubs, restaurants, and record stores. I was only somewhat familiar with it as I'd only ever visited at night and avoided the downtown area on my way out of town.

The Grill resembled an old-fashioned diner, but the staff looked anything but old-school. Multiple piercings, extreme hairstyles, and tattoos seemed to be the norm among the wait staff. Bella was, of course, instantly recognized. A boy with a mohawk ran off to get her a malt. I was fortunate that he guessed I would want one, too. We got the last booth, and the waitress was busy. It took forever to order food, but it was good.

"Not to sound stereotypical, but what's your major?" I asked.

"I just got into the journalism program." Bella beamed.

"Really, what was your major before that?"

"Oh, UGA routes all potential journalism majors through the Mass-Comm program first. My application to the Journalism department was just accepted this semester," she explained.

"Mass-Comm?"

"Communications, which sounds like a BS major, but it isn't. It's a lot more complicated and technical than you'd think." She fidgeted a bit with her place setting before looking back up at me. "Where did you go to school?"

"WestPoint."

"WestPoint?" She raised an eyebrow. "I knew you were smart, but that puts a new perspective on things."

"My stepmother, Esme, was in the Army. Carlisle, my dad, insisted on a college education. Esme's dad pushed for WestPoint since he's a graduate. I desperately wanted his approval, so I made it a goal and did it," I explained.

She bobbed her head a bit and stirred her malt.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Oh, um… morning news, class, studying, listening to the police scanner, and hoping for something good to cover… the usual." She shrugged.

"No offense, but the usual with you seems pretty unusual," I commented, then took a sip of my malt. "This is really good!"

"This is the best place to get a malt in the state in my opinion." She smiled.

"I think I have to agree with you."

Her smile widened. We sat in the diner for two hours, long after our food was actually finished. Our conversation was easy. I'd never thought that I could feel that close to someone so quickly. As Bella relaxed, she became more talkative. I learned about her friend Jake, who shared her apartment. She talked about growing up in Washington State. I kept to safe topics regarding my childhood, skipping over Carlisle's job entirely. When Bella's friend with the mohawk politely suggested that he needed the booth, we wondered where the time had gone.

Stepping out into the chilly night air, Bella rubbed her arms through her coat. I used the weather as an excuse to pull her close again. She smelled good. I had to resist the urge to sniff her hair. She led me on a walk through campus, the way she would have walked the night we met if I hadn't been with her. In truth, it didn't look that dangerous walking down the path on what she referred to as "North Campus."

Old-fashioned street lamps lit the path from downtown through campus. There were gardens and benches and trees. Bella acted as my tour guide as we walked. It was beautiful; she was beautiful. We walked to my car, and then I drove her to hers. I didn't want to say goodbye, but I didn't want to push my luck either, so I kissed her softly and then drove to Alice's apartment to sleep.

* * *

**End Note:**

**Thanks to everyone who's still reading. I'm terribly sorry about the delay this chapter. I hope to be getting back to a semi-regular schedule very soon. My SIL is very ill and will be for quite some time. We're all chipping in to help her family get through this, but I will be making an effort to get this fic moving in a more timely fashion.**

**Now that that's out of the way…**

**The Grill is one of my favorite Athens GA institutions. I used to order a grilled cheese sandwich with sprouts and tomato, and a vanilla malt, best post broadcast dinner ever. Anyone else have an odd favorite sandwich?**


	8. Chapter 7 One Step Forward

**A/n**

**Beta'd by the marvelous drs and alaskancoppertop. Twi'd version will be late posting as it's waiting on a final pass.**

**I'm sorry for the delay. My betas and I have been plagued with personal issues in the past year. Goodbye 2011, you weren't exactly kind but we've all grown from the experiences you provided.**

_Previously: 2010 Bella has been hit in the head during an explosion that occurred on GATech's campus during the Associated Press Awards._**  
**_She was engaged to Jacob but they've broken things off, which doesn't stop him from following her around like a puppy dog. They also haven't told anyone that they're no longer together. Jacob's kind of hopeful that he still has a chance, but Bella is still holding onto Edward. Jacob knows that Edward's a spy and is off the grid from an unnamed source. He's suggested that Bella mourn Edward like he's dead._

_Meanwhile, due to the head injury, Bella pretty much requires round the clock supervision. She's a mess. Her stepsister, Angela, has come up so that Bella can get some distance from Jake. Bella's not exactly as hopeful as Jake is about this whole "relationship" thing._

_And that's what we've all forgotten from V258.  
_

* * *

Jasper

Maryland April 2010

Alice started out of a sound sleep, pulling me with her. I'd been asleep spooning my wife, shamelessly fondling a breast in my sleep when she sat up. I moved with her, the two of us operated in perfect synchronization. It took my sleep-dazed mind a moment to realize that she was having a vision. It was dawn, almost time for our alarm to rudely remind us of the day's tasks and burst our perfect bubble. Alice's hands searched blindly for her notebook. I knew that she couldn't see anything in front of her in the middle of a vision, so I retrieved the small book and pencil from our nightstand pressing them into her shaking hands. I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder while she drew what she was seeing.

These unpredictable visions were always important. Alice could search the future for a specific event but if one came directly to her it had personal significance. Her hand flew over the page automatically, quickly drawing lines of graphite and smudging them to form lines and shadows. I watched with rapt attention. This time it was a woman, a few years younger than Alice with long dark hair. The woman had a hand wrapped around her ribcage, and something about the way she held her head was off; she was injured.

Alice frantically flipped the page and started another sketch. The girl was the first person she drew followed by Carlisle and then me. We were in the hallway at work. The girl looked confused. I could feel Alice panic a little; she started drawing more quickly, almost frantically trying to capture the moment. The final sketch made no sense and Alice flipped the book closed before I could study it. I had seen Edward towering over the girl, anger and hurt etched in his features and her stance held something threatening about it. I stared at the cover of the book for a moment in shock. Alice relaxed and became rather determined. It looked like we were getting a replacement team member for Tanya, and that Edward would be back with us.

Edward had been reassigned to work with Eleazar Denali's group after his monumental screw up with Tanya. He'd trained the asset on loan from the Russians, known her intimately, and failed to realize that she had ulterior motives. The woman disappeared with classified information about our training methods, base, personnel, contacts, and operations. Edward and Denali had been trying to track her down for six months. So far, they'd only been able to uncover that she had ties to several unsavory groups and was most likely selling our information to the highest bidder. Carlisle was still furious.

"I have to call Dad, now!" Alice jumped off the bed and searched for her cell phone.

"It's still early, Alice," I groaned and caught her hand as she closed it around the phone. Carlisle would not appreciate being woken up, and I had a meeting with him in four hours. "Alice, no…" I stopped protesting when I felt her panic.

"No, he has to act immediately," she insisted. "This future has to happen, and right now, it's in flux."

I released her hand, and her fingers dialed her father.

"Dad," she sighed when he answered. "Listen, I need you suppress a news story in Atlanta…. I know…. I know…. It's a vision, Dad, an important one."

She paused, listening to her father, our boss. She was determined, and if he didn't do what she wanted I knew that there'd be hell to pay, as she'd do it herself.

"Isabella Swan," she sighed, relieved. The name was familiar. It stirred something at the back of my mind, like I'd seen it written somewhere. I furrowed my brow and cocked my head to my side, silently asking Alice for an explanation. She shook her head.

"She was injured in the blast last night," Alice continued to explain the situation to Carlisle. "No… no… The thing is, Dad, it's a head injury, like a couple of the guys from the old days."

It was clear to me that she'd sensed a new recruit. Alice was getting desperate. Chances were that she was going to convince him to train the girl. Carlisle was going to be against it, viewers with head injuries were notoriously unpredictable. It was better to find someone who had potential and train him or her.

"Well, specifically, I'm asking you to stop the story and get in touch with your contact at Emory because I… because _we_ need her. She's important."

That seemed to work. Alice relaxed, the tension eased from her shoulders. I could feel her slip back into a calm state. She continued to nod and talk to her father. They shared a few pleasantries before she passed the phone to me.

"Whitlock?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm here Carlisle," I groaned.

"It looks like I have a flight to Atlanta to catch this morning. How necessary was this morning's meeting on your end?"

"I was going to request the next RV asset that we get from The Farm…"

Alice, who had opened her laptop and was booking a flight for Carlisle, threw a shoe at me. It narrowly missed my jaw but the heel grazed my chest.

"Damnit, darlin'! Why do you have to throw your fine Italian footwear at my head? Can't you get my attention like a normal human being?"

"I take it, my daughter has other ideas?" Carlisle ascertained.

Alice smiled innocently and didn't look up from the computer. "You don't want him, you want Swan."

"I'll wait for Swan," I sighed in defeat. Arguing with Alice was futile. If she wanted me to take on an unstable civilian, then I would. It meant an additional six months of waiting for her to be trained at The Farm and dealing with instability. "I suppose that six months without a second viewer to corroborate Rose while this girl trains won't get my team killed," I snapped.

"Oh, Swan's not going to The Farm right away," Alice hummed. She was smug.

Carlisle apparently heard her. "Put me on speaker, now!" he demanded.

I pressed the button and set the phone down on the edge of the laptop so that Alice could hear her father. She looked up at me in askance just before Carlisle's voice boomed through the speaker.

"What do you mean she's not going to The Farm?"

"Daddy," Alice was pulling out all the stops. Calling Carlisle 'Daddy' was low. "You'll see when you meet her. She's highly gifted but too unstable. Sending her to The Farm would be a mistake."

"I don't like this," he groused.

"I know," she sang, "but it was a vision, Daddy."

I sensed some uncertainty coming from my wife.

"Jasper?" Carlisle addressed me.

"She woke up sketching," I confirmed. "The girl's in our office in one of them."

"Fine," he conceded. "When's my flight?"

"You should get moving," Alice said, "you have about three hours. I'm e-mailing you the details."

"I'll be back in a week," Carlisle sighed and disconnected.

Alice flitted off without an explanation. I attempted to follow her into the bathroom but she'd locked the door, her signal that there would be no further discussion of the topic. I banged my head on the wall and listened to her tinkling laughter on the other side. Alice only shared what she could of her visions to keep things on track. I shouldn't have taken it personally, but she often left me rudderless in the dark.

Bella

Atlanta, Georgia April 2010

Angela was trying not to pry. However, it had been requisite to inform her that the engagement was off and had been for some time. I still didn't want to face Charlie's disappointment and Rene would be unbearably Renee-like and insist that she come up and we do mani-pedi time and drink cosmos. I was not up for that. Especially not with a head injury and popping pain pills every four to six hours.

So far, treating Edward like he'd died had brought me a little more comfort. I hated to admit it, but it was just easier to bury him. It was easier than admitting the truth; I didn't mean as much to him that he meant to me. Our entire relationship made so much more sense. He'd pulled back when I wanted to be intimate. I was always on a pedestal, at arm's length, something to be worshiped rather than loved.

Jake and I planned a funeral for Edward. It felt like a stupid idea at first, but as I considered it the idea became less idiotic. I didn't have anything of his other than the note. It was time to let that go, so I planned to bury it and a stuffed animal, which we would name Edward. Angela thought we were crazy. However, she humored me.

Our plans for Edward, the stuffed pig's, burial didn't go according to plan. Living in a condo in Atlanta made it difficult to find a place to bury Edward. The small plot of grass in front of my building belonged to the complex and I had no right to dig it up. There was no grass at Jake's place. Thus, we found ourselves standing on the small porch with a metal trashcan and some matches. Edward would be the recipient of a Jedi funeral.

Angela sang Abide with Me, and I started to tear up, but Jake was the one who made it real for me.

"Edward was a friend," he said. "I might not have always liked him, and it's true that he stole the heart of the girl I always thought I was deeply in love with, but he also taught me what love is. Love is sacrifice, and Edward would have given anything for his friends. He was intense in his devotion to them and to his sister, Alice, and I miss him."

I stared at the shoe box that we had put Edward to rest in. He and the letter were nestled in there, waiting at the bottom of the can for us to light them. I hadn't thought about Jake being able to say anything nice about Edward. A tear trickled down my cheek. Jake had been friends with him too, even if he didn't want to admit it.

"Bells, do you want to say anything before we cremate him?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Before Edward came into my life, I never felt like I was worthy. I was always in someone else's shadow, whether it was Angela, or Jake, or Alice. I always wondered what it was that people saw in me; I didn't feel like I had anything to offer. Edward showed me that I do. He brought out the best in me, and never let me forget that I was worthwhile."

I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"He was really good at lifting people up. Edward brought out the best in those around him, and protected what he loved, but Edward would have willingly laid down his life for a stranger. I loved him with all of my heart. I miss him every day."

"hmm hmm hmmm…" Angela started to hum taps and I hit her on the shoulder with my good hand.

"Goodbye, Edward." Jake stuffed some newspaper into the trashcan and tossed a match into it.

"Goodbye, Edward," I whispered, watching the flames lick the side of the can and consumed the paper. The box started to slowly catch on fire. We stood there, watching the flames in the can. It wasn't until after the smell changed that it occurred to any of us that cremating a stuffed animal made from 100% synthetic materials was a bad idea. The stuffed pig smoked and melted instead of burning. Angela and I retreated inside at Jake's insistence.

"You okay?" Angela asked.

"I will be. This has been a long time coming." I nodded and watched Jake try to avoid the smoke billowing out of the can on the porch.

"I wish you'd talk to me," she sighed.

"There's nothing to say." I crossed my arms and avoided looking at her.

"Oh, there's plenty to say. You could start with why you haven't told anyone that you and the dog aren't getting married," she rather irately suggested.

"I really don't want to tell everyone that my personal life is a complete disaster."

"What are you talking about? It's not…"

I looked at my sister and she stopped. She was typically the first to let me know that my personal life sucked. It had always been bad, particularly on the romantic front. I may have achieved some professional success, but I'd never been good at relationships, romantic, or otherwise. Edward was the one exception. I needed to let that go. Edward Cullen was never coming back, and as good as dead.

* * *

**END NOTE:**

**It's always when you finally start to get your act back together...  
**

**Do not burn ANYTHING on your porch, you could accidentally set your building on fire. Don't ask me how I know this.**


	9. Chapter 8 Bachelor Pad

**A/n: **

Thanks to dorothysrubyslippers for beta'ing and alaskancoppertop for prereading.

Remember to check the dates, this is another 2007 chapter, but we're fast forwarding a month to Bella's Spring Break.

* * *

**Edward **

_North Augusta, SC March 9, 2007_

Bella was due to arrive at my house at any moment. I found myself straightening the coffee table books one more time, and giving the kitchen a once over. Why had I allowed Esme to convince me to purchase an all white house? Granted, it was bright and airy, but the white surfaces were difficult to keep clean. I wanted Bella to be comfortable; girls like clean.

Truth be known, I wanted her to consider this her home, too. I wanted her to want to stay with me over the summer. I was also hoping that we could move things a little further along in the relationship.

We'd spent every free moment together since we'd met over a month ago, although there weren't many of those given her schedule and mine. I drove up to Athens, staying at Alice's, whenever I could, and she spent more than a weekend with her mother so that I could see her when I was working. However, we'd been in public, or at her apartment with Jake home, or Alice's. We'd kissed, and covertly touched, and teased just a bit, but we still hadn't seen each other naked. I could just never seem to get her without a chaperone, but now we had the better part of a week alone at my house. Bella was spending spring break with me.

I also hadn't shown her my house. I wasn't sure how she'd react. The sheer size of it and the neighborhood had the potential to make her freak out. Bella was weird about things like money, and being a Cullen came with money. Granted, the money was inherited through my mother, Elizabeth Masen-Cullen, it was what's known as "old money." My mother's choice of husband had been a scandal, but fortunately Carlisle grew on her parents. With Alice's help, my father continued to invest wisely, and we could all afford to live beyond comfortably.

I'd intended to ease her into it slowly, but Alice had blown that within a couple of weeks. The pixie took Bella shopping. I volunteered my credit card since I knew how Alice's tastes ran. Alice wasn't going to be thrift store shopping, or even visiting The Gap, she was going to small designer boutiques. I gave Bella my card that weekend on my way out of town and told her to use it. I got a phone call on Monday.

"_Edward!" Bella sounded panicked._

"_Bella, what's wrong?" _

"_Are you sure you want me to use your card? This place your sister dragged me to is insane. I swear, they have a peasant alarm. The sales girl brought us drinks," she shout-whispered._

"_Bella, why are you whispering?" I asked, raising an eyebrow._

"_I'm in the dressing room. Alice shoved me in here with a bunch of dresses. The cheapest thing here is five hundred dollars!"_

_I chuckled, "Alice has expensive tastes, that's why I gave you my card. Get something nice, I'm good for it."_

"_I can't let you do that," she argued._

"_Alice isn't going to give you much of a choice," I explained, pacing the length of my kitchen. "Either you use my card on something, or she's going to insist on buying something on hers for you."_

"_Is your family into drugs or something?" she blurted._

"_Drugs?" I asked._

"_No one has this kind of money," she whispered. "Are you into something illegal, mafia, drug lords, insider trading…"_

"_No, Bella, we're not. Very few people have 'this kind of money,' but we have access to it. I assure you that we came by it honestly. You should use it to spur the local economy."_

"_Spur the local economy?"_

"_Just use the card," I begged._

She bought a dress, which she refused to wear until her mother saw it and forced her into it the night she was visiting me in Augusta. She looked amazing but fretted the entire night. She cringed every time someone got near her with a drink, or she took a bite of food, and her fork wobbled. When she tripped on the way back to the car, she nearly broke down because she was afraid that she'd ripped it.

I could only imagine how she was going to react to the house.

I owned a rather large three story house on the bank of the Savannah River. She'd known the neighborhood when I gave her the address and baulked.

She was late.

I resorted to pacing.

I called her cell phone but didn't get an answer; this didn't really surprise me because Bella, as a rule, didn't answer the phone while driving.

When she finally arrived twenty minutes later, I no longer cared about the house or her reaction. I was on the verge of calling the police. I dropped my phone on the table and rushed outside to meet her. She slid out of her rusty death trap of a car and curled into me as I wrapped my arms around her.

"I've had such a bad day," she sighed.

I kissed the top of her head. "Come inside and relax. We'll have dinner delivered." I grabbed her bag from the backseat and led her inside. She barely seemed to notice the house; I didn't know whether to be worried or thankful. I settled her on the couch, ordered dinner from a local Japanese restaurant, and offered extra for delivery so that I wouldn't have to leave.

"I got mugged this morning," she said. The words just hung there in the relative silence of the room for a few moments.

"Pardon?" I asked.

"I parked downtown since the parking deck there is closer than East Deck. I volunteered to send some stories to GNN this morning for Andrea since I planned on doing the news this morning anyway. I had to be there at five, and the buses weren't running yet. He took my backpack. My whole backpack," she rambled.

"Are you alright?" I sunk into the couch next to her and pulled her into my lap, covertly checking her over.

"He took everything, even my bio notes. He wanted the whole bag, why wouldn't he just take my wallet?" she ranted. "What kind of a jerk steals textbooks?"

"Did he hurt you?" I asked, still examining every inch of exposed skin.

"I'm fine," she grumbled, "just a bit shaken still." She paused. "He had a knife."

"Did you call the police?" I smoothed her hair out of her face and tried to prevent myself from panicking. She'd been mugged and didn't call me.

"Yeah, I was on the edge of campus, so there was a dispute about jurisdiction. The campus police ended up taking it. They said that it's unlikely that they'll find him," she sighed again.

"I'm so sorry, love." I took her face in my hands and ran the fingers of one hand from her cheek into her hair. She closed her eyes.

"I had to go get a new driver's license and call the credit card company. I don't know what I'm going to do about my books or my notes. I have to get a new phone…"

"I'll take care of it," I volunteered. I wanted to get her a better phone anyway.

"You don't have to do that. I just need to decompress," she huffed.

"Why aren't you more shaken up over this?" I asked. My fingers stilled. Her brown eyes opened wide.

"It's over; he didn't hurt me. At this point, it's just a hassle…and getting a new drivers license made me late, which has made me more angry than anything else," she explained.

"Just relax. I was worried, but I'm glad you're here now, and that you're safe." I moved my arms down around her waist.

She tucked her head into my shoulder. I held her and gently stroked her back until the food arrived. I brought the containers into the den and set them up on the coffee table. In a flash of brilliance, I took a couple of pillows off of the loveseat and placed them on the floor for us. After a moment, it occurred to me that Esme had bought a set of rice bowls, and a Japanese tea service. I hurried into the kitchen and grabbed them, along with two sets of lacquered chop sticks.

"How did you get _this_ delivered?" Bella asked, recognizing the logo on one of the containers.

"You don't want to know," I replied and finished setting the small table.

We ate in companionable silence. She kept looking at me and smiling or shaking her head. I finally tilted my head to the side and lifted an eyebrow, silently asking her what was so amusing.

"You are aware that I'm a college student, pizza would have been perfectly acceptable," she smirked. "There was no need to bribe a waiter to bring take out."

"Ah, but you expected pizza," I smiled in response.

"Never one to do what's expected are you, Mr. Cullen?"

"Major," I corrected.

"Sorry, _Major_ Cullen," she giggled.

I leaned in to kiss her cheek, but at the last moment she turned and caught my lips with hers. Her lips were smooth and warm. I skimmed along her lower lip tentatively with my tongue and she pulled me closer, sliding her tongue along mine. I could taste shrimp sauce and tea.

Her hands slipped from my shoulders down to my chest to the buttons on my shirt. My brain stopped functioning. I'm not sure precisely where my hands roved, but Bella moaned into my mouth, and started pulling at the buttons of my shirt. I reached up and tilted her head so that I could kiss her neck. Her breathy little sigh did more to motivate me than anything ever had. I tried licking from her collarbone to her ear. Her hands stilled momentarily, and her hips rocked. I smiled to myself. I'd made her lose track of what she was doing.

She hummed and returned to my buttons. My shirt was off in short order, but when her hands touched the skin on my stomach while she tugged on my undershirt, we both stopped. It was a feeling like nothing else. Words couldn't do it justice. It was just like we'd come home; her hands belonged there on my skin. I reached up under the back of her shirt and felt the sensation intensify.

"Wow," she whispered.

I nodded my head, unable to speak.

"Is it always like that?" she asked timidly. There was something about the question, the way that she asked it, the slight tilt to her head, her tone, something should have tipped me off. The question itself only seemed a bit odd at the time.

"Never," I said and used my hand on her back to bring her closer so that I could kiss her.

We slowed down. I caressed the soft skin of her back and stomach with my fingers, and her hands roamed beneath my undershirt. We were content to just feel each other for a long time. Eventually, I pulled her shirt off, up over her head, and dropped it to the ground. That was when it occurred to me that something was wrong.

On an emotional level, Bella withdrew instantly. I continued to kiss her, gently, reverently. I tried to get her to look at me, but she refused. Bella had gone on autopilot.

I stopped and wrapped my shirt around her, buttoning a few buttons over her chest.

"It's been a long day," I whispered.

"Yeah," she responded in a quiet voice.

I felt like a jerk. She'd been mugged just that morning, and here I was mauling her.

"Do you want to get some rest?" I offered.

"Yeah, that sounds good," she nodded. Something was still wrong.

"Bella?" I tipped her chin up gently with my fingers.

"It's nothing," she pulled away.

"Do you want to talk about nothing?" I asked, trying to keep her with me, or bring her back.

"Not particularly," she huffed, sliding away from me.

"Fair enough," I dropped the subject and held out my hand for her. I led her through the house and collected her bag when we passed the door. I showed her the guestrooms first. She ooohed and aahed in all the appropriate places. Esme would have been proud that her decorating job was so well received. I was happy that the place seemed clean enough. Not wanting to be presumptuous, but really being presumptuous, I showed her my room last.

She walked in, and took a look around, picking up pictures, and the few items I had forgotten to put away when I left the room that morning. She avoided the bed. That wasn't a good sign.

"You can sleep here, or in one of the guest rooms if you like …" She was still walking around, circling. "… or I could sleep in a guestroom. I want you to be comfortable," I said.

"If it's okay, I'd like to stay in here with you," she said shyly, finally reaching the bed and barely touching the duvet with her fingertips.

"I would love that," I responded honestly and dropped her bag at the foot of the bed. I hugged her from behind and kissed her neck. "I always want you with me."

"That was cheesy," she chuckled.

"But true," I laughed with her. "If it were up to me, you would be with me all day every day."

"You would get tired of me eventually," she said.

"Never." I kissed her neck again. "Make yourself at home; get ready for bed. I'm going to go lock up and clear the table."

"I can help…."

"Not tonight, you've had a rough day. Rest," I ordered and pulled away from her.

"Sir, Yes, Sir," she smirked and gave me the worst salute ever.

"We'll work on that later. Make yourself at home."

"Work on what?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Your salute is horrendous, Soldier," I chuckled and dodged the pillow she threw at me. "I'll be right back," I called from the stairs.

I made a quick pass around the bottom floor, locking doors and closing windows as I went. The coffee table took a few minutes to clear, but I decided to save washing the dishes for the morning.

I found Bella in my room, wearing a tank top and a pair of soft cotton shorts. She was staring at my bed. I snuck up behind her and ran my hands down her sides tickling her. She jumped and smacked my hands away. It was nice after the weirdness earlier to have her back to her playful self.

"Which side?" she indicated the bed.

"I'm partial to the right, but I can sleep on either," I gave her a quick hug and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

The shirt that I had put on Bella earlier was hanging on the hook behind the door. Her toothbrush was sitting next to mine, and a little bag of what I assumed were girl things sat on my counter. For some reason, I found this exciting. I tried not to jump up and down as I brushed my teeth. I finished quickly and returned to Bella. I left my undershirt on, because earlier having her shirt off bugged her, and I didn't know how she'd feel about me sleeping next to her wearing only my boxers.

She was curled up on the left side of the bed. I slid in behind her and turned off the bedside lamp. I could feel that she was tense, so I rubbed her arm. She didn't relax.

"Edward, about earlier …" she trailed off.

"You've had a long day. We don't have to talk about it," I told her.

"… but we do," she sighed.

"Only if you feel like it. I want you to be comfortable. You can tell me anything," I whispered into her ear.

"I'm not ready for us to…"

"That's fine," I said, because what else was I going to say. I wanted Bella for the long term, and if I had to put off some things that I wanted in order to make sure things were right, then I'd do it. It would be difficult, but I'd do it.

"I'm just really inexperienced," she said quietly. "There's a lot of uncharted territory."

I nodded against the back of her head so that she could feel it. Internally, I was dreading the rest of the week. I hated to admit it even to myself, but there was a certain expectation that came with a girl staying over. It was wrong. I was wrong. I knew I was wrong, and I silently chastised myself.

"We won't do anything unless you're comfortable," I found the sensible, loving man inside of me and forced myself to say those words. They were true.

"Good," she sighed.

Because I'm a guy, the next question popped out before I could stop it, "How much uncharted territory are we talking about?" Her reaction to touching, and then when I took off her shirt, came to mind.

"I'm a _virgin_," she said the word like it was dirty, like she was ashamed of it. Suddenly, I felt like a bastard. I couldn't say that I was shocked when she finally revealed it. It was a fact that made perfect sense. Jake had been protective of her for a reason, and my inability to get her alone was no longer a mystery. I leaned back, and turned on the light. This conversation required eye contact.

"You know that there's nothing wrong with that, right?" I turned her so that she was lying on her side facing me.

"There's definitely something wrong with that," she rolled her eyes.

"Bella, you shouldn't be ashamed. You're a smart, driven woman," I explained.

"And now you're going to find an excuse to break things off," she sighed, and put a hand in front of her face. "I'm pretty much stuck with highly religious guys or complete dorks at this phase of my life still being a _virgin_."

She did it again. That had to stop.

"I'm staying." I pulled her hand away from her face and kissed it. "I am sorry to inform you that virgin or not, you're stuck with me."

She barely cracked a smile, "you say that now…"

"It's actually refreshing to find a girl who isn't…." Finishing that sentence would have been bad, "… sexually active."

"Refreshing? What am I, Sprite?" she scoffed.

"Fine, poor choice of words on my part." I ran my fingers through her hair. It was loose around her.

"Terrible actually, I'm not sure it gets much worse than 'refreshing,'" she made air quotes with her fingers.

"Fine, but bad choice of words or not, I don't have a problem with it," I said, meaning, _I aspire not to have a problem with it._

She pursed her lips, "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, now, sleep," I said, turning off the light and curling around her after she rolled over. She drifted off to sleep, and I spent the night trying to figure out how I was going to lock up my sex drive. Bella was self-conscious enough that I didn't need to make things worse.

I'm fairly certain that I didn't sleep a wink.

* * *

**End Note:**

I'm just gonna leave that there and walk away. Next chapter will be soon.


	10. Chapter 9 Carlisle Cullen

**A/n: **Hi everyone!

Beta'd by: dorothysrubyslippers and loss4words

Preread by: alaskancoppertop

I'd like to thank loss4words for jumping onboard. She's a science fiction goddess.

**Reminder: Pay attention to dates**

* * *

**Jacob **

_Atlanta, GA April 2010_

I managed to get Bella an appointment with Dr. Mark Banner at Emory. He was a former military physician turned researcher. His expertise centered around traumatic brain injuries, and he was renowned as one of the best neurosurgeons on the East coast. Banner was on the lookout for new participants in a study he was running, and Bella's symptoms seemed to fit with the patient profile he'd posted on the NIH website.

Bella was nervous. I glanced at her several times during our drive in from her apartment in Decatur. She was chewing on her lip and twisting her fingers in the hem of her blouse. She'd insisted on dressing in better than jeans and a T-shirt for her appointment like it was a job interview. I seriously doubted that Banner would be interested in anything other than what lurked in her skull.

Mentally, Bella seemed somewhat better. She was no longer as depressed as she'd been before. Giving up hope of Edward returning seemed to be the right thing to do. I still felt guilty, because I knew that he was out there, watching her like the stalker that he was. However, if he'd intended on returning, I would think that he would have already done it. I shoved the guilt down again. She didn't need that information.

Physically, Bella was worse. She was still losing consciousness on a regular basis and claimed that she wasn't getting any restful sleep. The bags under her eyes seemed to back up that claim. Bella was tired and making mistakes performing the simplest of tasks. In addition, the injuries to her chest and wrist were going to take some time to heal. Bella was impatient.

I was completely out of my comfort zone. I'd been present for most of Bella's accident prone youth, and her clumsy transition into adulthood. In the past, I could help in some way or another. This time, there was nothing for me to do, not that she'd let me help anyway. The best I could offer was this appointment.

"Breathe, Bella," I muttered as I turned into a parking space outside of the Veteran's hospital where Dr. Banner had his office.

"I thought we were going to Emory." She tilted her head to the side and blinked.

"No, Dr. Banner has an office there, but he works out of the VAMC. Most of his research is government funded." I'd given her the same information about three times.

"Oh, okay," she sighed. "You've told me that before, haven't you?"

"No," I lied.

She knew I was lying. We opened our doors and stepped out into the bright spring sunshine. When Bella closed hers, she left a handprint on the side of the car in the layer of yellow pollen. She unconsciously wiped her hand on her black skirt, leaving a bright yellow smudge.

"Crap!" she squawked.

"It's not a big deal," I said softly. Knowing that she wouldn't listen, I reopened my door and pulled out a wet nap I remembered shoving in the console after picking up hot wings, to clean her skirt.

"Thanks," she said. She allowed me to take her hand and lead her into the center.

Dr. Banner's 'clinic' was more of a research facility than someplace to treat patients. His research assistant, Shannon, greeted us at the door to their suite and led us through a couple of rooms that were crammed with medical equipment I couldn't identify. At the back of the maze, Shannon settled us into chairs in a cluttered office.

"Mark will be back in a few minutes; I'm going to go get some equipment set up if you don't need anything," she said.

"We're fine," I reassured her.

Shannon left. Bella studied the walls. Dr. Banner had his diplomas hung neatly, contrasting the cluttered state of the rest of the office. However, he also had some pictures decorating the small space. Bella stood and walked to one of them with a puzzled look on her face.

"Bells, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing, I just thought I recognized someone in this picture, but it's clearly not him," she shook her head and returned to the seat next to mine. "How long do you think he'll be?" she asked suddenly.

"I don't know." Bella was being odd, odder than usual. I really didn't know what to do about it.

The door flew open a few moments later, admitting a short, bald man in his late fifties. He wore a lab coat over scrubs. The man did a double take when he saw us and looked back out in the hallway before closing the door and approaching Bella.

"Sorry, I'm Mark Banner." He stuck out his hand and Bella shook it gingerly.

"Bella Swan."

"Jacob Black, I'm Bella's…" Crap, what was I?

"Friend," Bella supplied. I could tell that Dr. Banner wasn't interested in our relationship. He sat down at his desk and dug out a file.

"Isabella Swan, female, five foot four, reporter by profession, head injury?"

"Yeees?" Bella answered a bit hesitantly.

He quickly flipped through a file on his desk, skimming it. "Dr. Mason reports that you've been ataxic, but he doesn't mention any dissociative episodes or seizures in his notes."

"Dr. Mason wasn't interested in treating her," I huffed.

"Jake," Bella scolded.

"No, babe, we need to be honest." I took her hand before I realized what I was doing. She rather carefully pulled it back.

"Have you had an EEG?" Dr. Mason asked, almost bored.

"No, just a Cat Scan," Bella said.

"Well, let's start with that. Let me just have Shannon set up…" He trailed off as he got up and walked out of the office.

"Should we follow him?" I asked.

"I vote that we stay here," she suggested.

We sat in what turned out to be a very awkward silence until Shannon came in several minutes later. Bella wasn't looking at me, and fearing a fight, I didn't push the issue. Instead, I watched her pensively twist the ring around her left ring finger.

"Follow me," Shannon nodded to Bella.

"Where do I…?"

"You can stay here, Mr. Black," Shannon smiled and led Bella away.

**~v258~**

**Carlisle **

_Atlanta, GA April 2010_

"How do you know these things, Carlisle?" Mark asked, absolutely flabbergasted.

"Alice," I responded.

"Can I borrow Alice?"

"She can't get you lottery numbers, Mark. She can only see the outcomes of decisions," I groaned.

"Well, Isabella Swan is in my office with exactly the type of head injury that you look for in an asset."

"Good, will you run the necessary tests? I'd like a full work up including a qEEG on her," I said.

"You owe me, Cullen," he huffed.

I ran a hand through my hair. Owing Banner usually involved smuggling some form of food into the US from a random foreign country. It wasn't really an issue, but he always asked at the worst time.

"Fine Banner, just finish the tests. I'd like to look at them before we approach her." I hung up before he could respond. Mark would have her hooked up to the EEG in no time.

My next problem was approaching her. I couldn't use my usual approach, because that depended on the potential asset having security clearance. Typically, I would take old case files and black out any names and critical information, then I would give them to the potential asset to study, and finally return at a later time to discuss them. A lack of clearance had never been an issue since most people we recruited were active duty military.

Miss Swan, and Alice's insistence that she be trained, were unprecedented. I couldn't figure out why this girl was so important to her. However, another problem presented itself. Isabella Swan had a tail. Someone was watching her in person and in the ether. I attempted a jump to observe her and had the distinct feeling that another viewer was there. He felt familiar; perhaps someone whom I'd trained or had trained under. In addition, there were already jump coordinates assigned to her: 2-5-8.

Each jump target is assigned a set of coordinates. Generally, they're arbitrary. However, once coordinates are assigned, those same numbers apply to that target globally, meaning that anyone using those numbers will end up with the same target.

Isabella Swan was in SpecInt's database, meaning that one of our own was watching her. I rationalized that Alice had made Rosalie observe her. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was wrong, though. The jumper felt male.

I had more success finding the PI who was watching her in the physical world. He turned out to be a friend of Jasper's: Jason Jenks. Jason insisted that he was hired to follow Miss Swan's fiancé. I didn't completely buy the story, but I left it alone, choosing to turn a blind eye since my daughter had told me to leave it alone via text.

Alice was up to something, but as her father, I knew better than to try and figure it out on my own. Even as a little girl, Alice always had her hands in everything, shaping the world around her into what she wanted it to be. If I got in the way, I usually messed things up to a point beyond what was repairable. There were checks and balances in place and there was no way that we wouldn't unearth all of Miss Swan's demons in the recruiting process. We'd tightened up security since the Tanya fiasco, so as requested, I let the PI and the jumper issue slide for the time being.

My phone beeped, indicating a message. I glanced down; it was from Banner.

_I'm admitting her to Emory for observation. Brain is a mess. Just like you like them._

Banner had just made my job harder. Getting results from the hospital would require paperwork. The bureaucracy that was the hospital system was difficult to navigate, even for me.

_Can you get her to sign a release for me?_

_Already done, appt originated at VAMC, you have access._

It hadn't occurred to me that Banner would see her at the military hospital. I couldn't fathom how he'd swung that since she didn't have a military record. I didn't want to ask either. Sometimes not knowing is better. Chances were that whatever Banner had done, I didn't want it associated with me. I was content to look the other way.

I called Alice because I needed guidance.

"Hi, Dad!" she chirped. She was still calling me Dad which meant that she still felt the need to butter me up for something.

"You're almost off the hook for destroying my week," I said.

"Your plans will keep," she said, sounding distracted.

"She's been admitted to the hospital for observation. I need a time-frame."

"Two days, then you'll get to see her," she said thoughtfully.

"Since you seem to be the expert on this girl, how should I approach her?" I sighed.

"You know that I can't see outcomes unless you decide on possibilities," she huffed.

"Fine, I'm going to hook her up to a biofeedback machine and coax her into a jump," I decided.

There was a pause.

"That scenario doesn't end very well," Alice responded clinically.

"Do I get details?" I tamped down my temper because although Alice does tend to manipulate situations, she usually gives me some frame of reference to work with, which she wasn't doing.

"Sorry, no, but you won't like where she jumps, and it will freak her out. You'll have to sedate her," she gave me the bare minimum of information to change my mind.

"What if I talk to her and give her some of the civilian research, and a few of our searches that have been done for police departments?" I suggested and then decided.

"Looks good," she agreed. "Dad," she made a point of getting my attention, "be gentle with her, okay?"

"I always am," I defended myself.

"It's just that you can slip into CIA mode, and you want to treat this one more like she's your daughter. You're going to need to build that type of trusting relationship with her," Alice explained somewhat wistfully.

"You're not telling me something."

"True," she chirped, "but it has nothing to do with her ability to perform the job, it won't endanger national security, and right now it's none of your business."

"Fine, I'll allow this for now," I agreed.

"Don't worry, it won't be long before you're in on the loop. You and Jasper will both figure it out on your own soon enough."

"Am I going to be angry?"

"You're never really angry when it comes to me, Daddy. That's Edward's job," she deflected the question into lighthearted banter. I had known that an attempt to gain information that my daughter wanted hidden was pointless, but I tried anyway.

"Bye, Alice, you know where to find me," I sighed and closed my phone.

I opened up my computer and started searching for case files from search and rescue. This wasn't what we'd have Isabella doing, but it was a start. I had to be able to give her something as an introduction.

* * *

**End Note:**

An EEG is a machine but we also refer to the test it performs as an EEG. It involves sticking sensors on the scalp to measure electrical activity in the brain. A qEEG is a more detailed version of the test.


	11. Chapter 10 Domesticity

**A/n:** Thank you to dorothysrubyslippers and loss4words for beta'ing.

Welcome new readers, and welcome back to those of you who've been here from the start.

* * *

**Edward **

_March 10, 2007 North Augusta, GA_

I barely slept. I held Bella most of the night, and listened to her talk in her sleep. She spouted fears about the mugging. Under the surface she wasn't as cool and calm as she seemed. She was scared. Truthfully, I wasn't surprised. What shocked me were her fears about our relationship. She thought that she had to have sex with me or I'd leave.

I couldn't let her think that. I didn't want her to make me her first out of obligation or fear. I wanted her to want me that way and to take the step forward for the right reasons. There was no way that I was going to push her into a sexual relationship.

I was just going to have to spend a lot of time in the shower. That was how I was going to survive until Bella was ready. I thought about how long I was willing to wait, and was surprised to find myself considering waiting for a serious commitment. A ring on her finger was one way that I could give her the kind of security that she probably needed. It would take time, but I was okay with that.

Bella stirred and rolled over to face me. She covered her mouth and yawned, "Pardon me."

"Good morning, love," I whispered and kissed her forehead.

"Morning," she said, still covering her mouth. "I'm going to go brush my teeth, I'll be right back."

I wrapped my arms around her, preventing her from leaving my side. "Bella, I'm sure that my breath is just as bad as yours. Stay?"

"Okay." She tentatively removed her hand from her face. I kissed her neck and she hummed. "Major, I do believe that you're just trying to keep me in your bed."

"That's highly possible. I like snuggling up next to you," I confessed and planted a kiss behind her ear.

"We should get up," she said.

I backed off immediately. "Do I need to stop?"

"No, I didn't mean … I shouldn't have told you," she groaned. "Things are going to be all weird now."

"Zero weirdness, I promise. I just want you to be absolutely comfortable," I explained.

"I am comfortable," she said and ran a hand down my side. "I'll tell you if I'm not."

"But you didn't last night, I took off your shirt and everything changed. You weren't okay with that and you didn't tell me," I protested.

She didn't respond.

"I would like to propose some ground rules," I said.

"Ground rules?" she asked, biting he lip slightly and squinting at me.

"The first is that we should be honest with each other even when it's hard. I need to know what you're feeling. If you feel at all like you don't want to do something, then you need to tell me."

"I can handle that," she said quietly.

"Second, until you trust me completely, our clothes stay on." I kissed her softly on the lips.

"But I do trust you," she lied.

"No, you don't, and that's okay. We've only known each other a month and we're moving pretty fast. I've monopolized all of your free time."

"That's not true," she lied again.

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "How much free time do you have over there Miss full time student who's also a full time reporter? I'm willing to wager that I have been taking up more than my fair share."

"Okay, fine… but I want to give that to you. I _enjoy_ that time," she explained.

"I'm more than happy to be there for it. My suggestion is that we don't have a reenactment of last night. We need to take things more slowly, okay?" I suggested.

"Okay."

"Rule number three, you have nothing to be ashamed of …"

"That's not a rule," she scoffed. "There's no way to enforce that."

"Fine," I conceded. "But I don't want you to be ashamed of anything about you. There's nothing wrong with you."

"Except for the fact that I'm a complete freak…"

I cleared my throat. "You're already breaking the rules?"

"Depends, are you going to punish me?" she smirked.

"Yes, I'm going to force you to go shopping with my sister," I joked.

"Oh…" She grimaced.

"You really don't like shopping," I commented, playing with a strand of her hair.

"It's not really my thing," she explained.

"You can tell Alice no, you know that, right?"

"Have you ever tried that?" she asked in shock. "It's never worked for me. Alice always seems to know exactly how to manipulate me into doing exactly what she wants. The sad thing is that I can't even dislike her for it."

"That's Alice," I sighed. "She's always been that way." The fact that Alice could replay the future multiple times depending on the decisions people made tended to help her manipulate them. It was a good thing she had a strong conscience, and an unflappable sense of right and wrong.

"It's annoying."

"You have no idea. You should see her work our Dad and Esme," I confided. "Alice always found a way to get exactly what she wanted growing up."

"I can believe that," she groaned. "The pixie is very dangerous."

"Keep calling her that, and it's going to stick."

"Oh, it already has. I even got her advisor to start calling her that," Bella smirked again.

"You're quite dangerous, you know?" I kissed her.

"Me? Never…" she scoffed and kissed me back.

I kind of wanted to stay in bed all day, but the house phone rang.

"It's probably Alice," I groaned. "She's the only person who would call this early on my day off."

"Well, off you go! I'm certainly not leaving this nice warm bed to go answer it, 's'not my house." Bella shoved me out of the bed.

I grumbled my way across the room to answer the phone.

"Brother dear!" Alice chirped.

"This had better be good," I groused at her.

"You need to get out of bed and go get Bella a new phone," she said somewhat less enthusiastically.

"Are you spying on us?" I turned around and whispered low enough that Bella couldn't hear me.

"Not intentionally," she said, somewhat repentantly. "Bella's dad is going to get worked up if he can't find her."

"Oh," I sighed. "Well then, thank you. We'll go take care of that."

"Good," she said. "Oh, and Edward, try not to let her see price tags."

"Okay." I started to hang up.

"… and Edward, you need new uniforms. I know that you haven't bought them yet, and you need to swap over to ACU's as soon as possible…"

"Got it, Alice. I'm going." I hung up. When I turned around, Bella was no longer in my bed. I could hear water running in the bathroom, so I went to my dresser and pulled out some clothes for the day. I began making a 'to do' list in my head, adding a trip on base to go by clothing and sales to my list. I wondered what else Bella would consider a priority to replace. Her books, she'd want to replace the books next.

"Hey," Bella's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"Hey," I responded. "That _was_ Alice, she recommends replacing your phone first thing this morning." I crossed the room and kissed her forehead again, catching the scent of my shampoo. She showered fast for a girl.

"Never bet against Alice," Bella giggled. "I'm pretty much ready for the day, do you mind if I go scrounge up some breakfast?"

"Help yourself," I said.

I hurried to get cleaned up and dressed, considering very carefully the fact that she'd used my shampoo. She'd done it like it was expected, normal. I smiled. The fact that she felt comfortable enough to use it without asking spoke volumes. This could work.

Walking downstairs I smelled breakfast. The domesticity of the situation, the complete and utter normalcy made me grin from ear to ear. This was what other people had, what Esme tried to give Alice and me as kids, a normal life. For the first time I felt like I could actually have it. I could be normal with Bella.

* * *

**End Note:**

Please keep in mind that if you have PMs turned off, I cannot reply to reviews, which is okay. Thank you all for reading and reviewing.

Also, I'm sorry I didn't do a preview on Fictionators this week, but the chapter was a bit short to chop out a section.


	12. Chapter 11 Break Through Break Free

**A/n: **Beta'd by dorothysrubyslippers and loss4words

Sorry I'm late posting this week! I meant to post yesterday.

* * *

**Bella**

_April 2010 Atlanta GA _

Carlisle Cullen was an attractive man. He reminded me of another Cullen that I'd once met. It didn't seem like a common name but I didn't really want to know if this man was related to the infamous Edward Cullen. The Cullen clan had to just share good Scottish genetics. I wondered if all of Scotland was inherently beautiful. His picture was the one I'd seen in Dr. Banner's office.

"Miss Swan." He smiled and shook my hand. He had a fatherly presence about him but I refused to believe that this gorgeous man had anyone calling him 'daddy' at home. It would have ruined my preconceived notion of what he should be like.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Cullen," I said.

"Would you be terribly offended if we went straight to the point of my visit?" he asked.

"Of course not. I understand that you're a busy man, besides I have quite a bit of reading to catch up on." I smiled warmly and held up the novel that Angela brought by earlier in the day. "I'm told that I won't be doing much else until they can stop monitoring me." I indicated the EEG leads attached to my head.

"That's part of what I want to discuss with you. Did Dr. Banner inform you of my profession by chance?" he asked cautiously.

"I can't say that he did. All I know is that you're an expert on the kind of seizures that I've been having," I said and dog-eared a page of the book in my lap.

He grimaced. "They're not really seizures in the strictest sense of the term. Your brain is entering a theta wave state, which is enabling your consciousness to detach from your body."

"My consciousness is doing what?" I asked, confused.

"Miss Swan, have you ever heard of Remote Viewing?"

"Uh, no."

"That's alright," he laughed. "Very few people would be able to define it. This theta wave state that your brain is slipping into enables you to do extraordinary things. You can use your mind to visit other places and even go backward and slightly forward in time."

"What?" I knew that I understood what Mr. Cullen was telling me, but it didn't make sense. It didn't sound like something that was possible.

"If trained properly, you can travel in space and time without ever leaving your chair," he said with a raised eyebrow.

Where was Jake and why did he think that a practical joke was appropriate?

"Mr. Cullen, while that's certainly an interesting story you've told me, I have a novel to read," I said, dismissing him. I picked up my book and waited for him to go.

"Miss Swan," he said, pulling down the edge of my book so that he could see my face. "I'm offering you something here. You can learn to do things with your mind that other people can only imagine. My organization can train you, we can help you learn to control this… or Dr. Banner can prescribe massive amounts of anticonvulsants, which will complicate your life needlessly."

He dropped a manila folder in my lap.

"What's this?" I stared down at it.

"Case studies, will you read them?" he asked.

"Mr. Cullen…"

"Just, please read them. If you read through the folder and you're not interested, then you don't have to have any further contact with me." He took a deep breath. "But if you want to try it, I can offer you a job."

I eyed him speculatively. He really didn't seem like he was joking. He looked serious.

"What would I be doing?" I let out a breath of air that I didn't realize I'd been holding.

"You would be gathering information for various government and private organizations, reporting back with it. There's a possibility for field work as well…."

"What do you mean by field work?" I interrupted him.

He pinched his nose, and I was reminded again of Edward. He used to do that whenever he was exasperated. He'd pinch his nose, rub his face, and sigh. The second I thought it, Carlisle Cullen rubbed his face and then sighed, before looking at me. There was something that he didn't want to tell me.

"Sometimes, due to the unique abilities of the people in our employ, we're contracted to handle certain situations personally. We work in teams, generally one or two viewers work with other specially trained individuals to achieve whatever goal has been set before us," he explained without actually explaining anything.

"What kind of situations?" I pressed.

"It would be better if you read the file. All of the operations in that file have been declassified, some of them are training exercises. You'll have a better idea after…"

"You mentioned training." I interrupted him again. If I could throw him off, I had a chance of getting a straight answer out of him.

"Yes," he sighed.

"What kind of training would be required for the job?"

He did the thing with his nose again. He really did look a lot like Edward Cullen when he did that.

"Specialized training?"

"I understand that, Mr. Cullen, but what kind of specialized training?"

"Well, initially, you would have to learn the basics of Remote Viewing, and learn to control your ability. After that you would receive training specific to other facets of our business." He stopped short of giving me the answers that I wanted.

I raised an eyebrow at him. Was he going to leave his explanation there?

"You're not going to drop this are you?" he asked.

"I don't like surprises," I answered.

He muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like "Alice," before looking at me in earnest. He studied me for a few minutes.

"You'd receive training in combat, defensive driving, and some specialized training in areas like recruiting," he said. "Most of your job would entail what's covered in the case studies." He gestured toward the folder.

"I've already pulled as much information out of you as I can, haven't I?"

"I hope so. I only intended to get you to read… Viewer or not, I think that you could be useful to us. You'd make a good interrogator," he chuckled.

"I'm a reporter. I get answers," I smirked at him.

The EEG machine next to me started to beep. Mr. Cullen stood and looked at the wave pattern on the screen. He glanced back at me.

"Do you feel it?" he asked.

"Feel…" My body slumped and I felt myself pulled toward the ceiling again. I groaned.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that you're still here," he said. "I want you to concentrate on what it feels like right now, the sensation. You may or may not be able to tell the difference between how you're feeling right now and your normal state."

I couldn't say that I really felt much different. I was just kind of floaty.

"Concentrate on your body," he said softly. "I want you to try and feel your toes, feel how relaxed they are."

I tried, I really did, but I couldn't feel my toes. I wasn't attached to them, how could I feel them? It seemed impossible.

"I know that it feels like you're not connected, but you are. As long as you're alive, you're still connected. You can't separate from yourself completely. You just have to find the connection. Try moving your fingers," he suggested.

"I can't," I heard my own voice from below me.

"You can talk, very good, very good indeed. Try to focus. Your body is right here, you are in control, no one can take that from you," he said softly. "Try to move."

I tried, I honestly did, but I couldn't get my muscles to function. After several attempts at lifting a finger or a toe, I became very frustrated.

"This is pointless!" I shouted and brought my fist down onto the arm of the chair. As my hand touched the faux leather armrest, I seemed to zoom back into my body. "Whoa."

"Odd that anger should make that work… better?"

"As a matter of fact, yes."

"But you're tired?" he guessed.

"Very," I yawned.

"Rest and read, I'll be back to discuss this tomorrow." With that, Carlisle Cullen walked out of my hospital room.

He'd talked me back into my body. Whatever mojo Carlisle Cullen had, I wanted. If he could teach me to make this work without doping me up on drugs constantly, I was sold. I opened the folder, pulled out the first case, and started reading.

X

Date: 3/5/2008

Target: 2-3-5

Summary:

Monitor 9-5:

The viewer shows advanced aptitude for jumping and identifying the target. In addition, he is able to thoroughly sketch his surroundings in detail. Surprisingly, he seems able to sense thoughts in the ether. My recommendation is to set up a test of this aptitude as soon as possible and develop it. It is my understanding that this viewer has been previously trained and used in operations; as such it is my recommendation that after his aptitude for telepathy has been tested that we allow him to hone it on tactical jumps.

Monitor 9-5: Viewer 1-5-9 please proceed to target 2-3-5, Let me know when your jump is complete.

Viewer 1-5-9: Jump is completed.

Monitor 9-5: Please describe the target.

Viewer 1-5-9: Target is a hotel, five stories, in a city.

Monitor 9-5: Can you identify the city?

Viewer 1-5-9: Not from this position.

Monitor: 9-5: Shift position 90 degrees North.

Viewer 1-5-9: New York City, before the year 2001.

Monitor 9-5: Please verify

Viewer 1-5-9: I have a visual on the World Trade Center, no further verification needed.

Monitor 9-5: I will repeat, please verify the date.

Viewer 1-5-9: I have a newspaper stand in sight, date verified as August 13 of 2001.

Monitor 9-5: Thank you. Enter the target location through the South entrance.

Viewer 1-5-9: Entering location.

Monitor 9-5: Your objective is to discover the occupant in room 237.

Viewer 1-5-9: Moving to room 237. Occupant is a white male, age 53, medium build, blond hair, blue eyes. He is writing a letter, but is thinking about calling his children.

Monitor 9-5: Viewer please verify, can you read the occupant's thoughts?

Viewer 1-5-9: Yes, I can.

Monitor 9-5: Thank you, please return jump. I will meet you in the conference room for debrief at 1400 hours.

X

I could barely understand any of it. The next case studies were much of the same. That was until I found a missing person's investigation at the bottom of the pile. It wasn't a summary but notes from the viewer, sketches of a little girl. She'd been kidnapped from a department store right under her mother's nose. I noticed that the handwriting looked vaguely familiar, like it wasn't the first time I'd seen it.

The viewer jumped to the actual abduction and followed the child. There were dozens of drawings of her. He'd been able to pinpoint where she was being kept rapidly, resulting in her rescue. A news article accompanied the drawings. The viewer remained unnamed but the family thanked SpecInt in their statement. The father had employed them against police recommendations.

I knew that Carlisle had included the story to tug on my heartstrings. He was manipulating me, and I was surprisingly at peace with that concept. I had, after all, manipulated him a bit. It was a game that we both played, and was apparently necessary to both of our professions.

There was no way that I could do my job medicated. Dr. Banner had given me a dose of anticonvulsants so that I could rest and it completely knocked me out. I couldn't see functioning like that. There was no way I could cover the stories that I wanted doped out of my mind. If Carlisle Cullen had another option, even if it meant giving up everything that I'd just earned, I'd take it.

How much different could the job really be? It was simply information gathering of a different sort, with a different purpose. It might even be nobler, like in the case of the little girl. I could help people.

I was reaching for the phone before I even thought about it.

"Miss Swan?" he answered.

"Mr. Cullen, I've considered your offer, and I accept."

"Good. I'll get the paperwork for your release underway," he chuckled. He sounded relieved. "The sooner we can get you to Maryland, the better. I'll inform my people. Can you be ready to move next week?"

I briefly considered my apartment, Jake, and my pathetic excuse for a social life. I didn't have much in the way of things, and I was more of a liability to Jake than anything else… it was time to make a change, take a leap of faith and see where my life went.

"Absolutely," I yawned involuntarily.

"Get some sleep while you can, Miss Swan. I recommend taking the offered medication at night for the next week. We'll wean you back off of it during training."

"Thanks, I will."

The line was dead without a goodbye.

**~V 2-5-8~**

Jake was pissed. Actually, pissed was putting it lightly. Jake was livid that I'd been released from the hospital, and that I had Angela drive me home. In addition, he felt betrayed that I'd resigned from the radio station and started paring down my life into a few small boxes.

As it turns out, a week is an awfully generous timeline to give a girl who has no life to wrap up her life and move. I was ready to go.

"You're not thinking this through!" Jake shouted and removed the dishes I'd packed from their box.

"I assure you, that I've considered every angle," I huffed, and wrapped a cup, placing it in another box.

"You can't just jump into something like this. Moving halfway up the Eastern seaboard is a big decision, and you've only slept on it one night," he argued, sounding slightly calmer.

"I need a change. _We_ need a change."

"I don't need anything changed," he growled.

"Jake," I sighed.

"Bella." Jake rolled his eyes, but he'd stopped unpacking the boxes that I was packing.

"This is something that I need to do," I reiterated, staring into my box of coffee mugs. I felt weak around Jake, like I couldn't take care of myself, like a child. "I need to spread my wings."

"Oh, that's rich," he spat. "It's not me it's you, is it?"

And there it was, confirmation. I officially had positive proof that he was just hanging on, waiting for me to come around. That was why he didn't date. He wanted me to come to my senses, settle down, and have 2.5 kids with him. That was never the life I'd wanted.

"Even if I stayed, even if I wanted it, _this_," I gestured between the two of us, "can never work."

"It can't work because you won't give it a chance," he snapped. He was stepping toward me; I could feel him getting closer, looming. I turned to look at him and found that we were too close. He was in my personal space. I took a step back; he encroached on my space again. I backed into the fridge without realizing it. "I'm good for you. I love you," he said, getting way too close again.

"But I don't love you that way, and you deserve so much more than that. I could stay, take the drugs, be a mediocre reporter, force you to shuttle me around everywhere because I can't drive. I could give in and live the life you want for me, the one where we're together and have the house out in Metro-Atlanta sprawl. We'd drive an hour into work every morning just so that we can afford a house with a backyard for the kids to play in, and a dog." I stood straight and poked a finger into his chest. "I could settle, but it's not what I want."

"There's nothing wrong with settling down, having a family…"

"Only if it's what you want," I whispered, watching the hurt cross his face.

"It's what I want," he said, reaching for my hand.

"It's not what I want," I cut him loose like I should have before I misled him. I slid the ring that I'd continued wearing even though we weren't officially engaged anymore off my finger and dropped it on the counter. I watched the emotion on his face as he felt the crushing blow, and I pushed past him to head off to my room. I could feel my brain about to disconnect. "This might be goodbye, so I want you to know that I'm sorry. This never should have been drawn out this far. You can see yourself out."

With that, I lay down on my bed and felt myself fully disconnect. I took a few moments to pull myself back to my body, and drifted off to sleep with wet cheeks and a heavy heart.

* * *

**End Note:**

That was kind of heavy. I think a lot of us have had that kind of break up before, you know the one where you still really like each other but you're going completely different places in life…


	13. Chapter 12 Midsummer

**A/n: **Beta'd by loss4words.

* * *

**Edward**

_July 2007 Augusta, GA_

It was midway through Bella's and Alice's summer break. Fall was approaching much more swiftly than I wanted to admit. They would be moving back up to Athens in another month. I was going to be lonely without them. I stumbled down the stairs for breakfast.

Bella and Alice had both moved into my house over the summer, and I had to say that it was the best summer of my life. Bella interned with one of the radio stations, and Alice spent the summer as a lady of leisure. Quite often, Bella and I came home from our respective jobs only to be bombarded by Alice flying at us with shopping bags filled with recent purchases. We hung out all the time, and having my best friend/sister and my girlfriend around all day everyday was a much better arrangement than it sounded.

The guys thought I was insane.

When I met Bella, I immediately stopped sleeping around. The guys in my unit were curious. Bella's name came up a few times, and then, when I turned down three straight offers for one night stands sometime in April, the jokes started. I was whipped. The funny thing was, I didn't care. I simply started hanging around the married guys. They were closer to my age and more mature.

Bella had her own room at my house. It was her own space; she didn't have to feel pressured to do anything. It benefited me as well. The truth was that keeping my hands off of Bella sometimes required a little bit of personal space. It'd been months and I could tell that she still wasn't ready to go beyond second base. There was no way that I was going to become a regret for her, so I waited patiently, and became rather accustomed to taking cold showers.

I'd almost forgotten what sex was like. Sometimes I'd catch myself fantasizing about doing something with Bella, only to realize that I had, indeed done that before, just with someone else. I began to regret my years of sleeping around. I wanted to discover everything with Bella.

She was exactly what I wanted. I just wanted her to be more confident. I wanted her to be comfortable with my body and hers before we finally had sex. I wanted it to be right.

_We were in her room. I always went to her room so that she'd be comfortable. Everything was on her terms when it came to the physical aspect of our relationship. I let her lead, because when I led that one night, she didn't tell me to stop when she was uncomfortable. She didn't tell me, and I didn't trust her to stop me if she wasn't ready for something._

_We were kissing on her bed. My shirt lay crumpled up by the door where Bella pulled it off. She leaned back and smiled shyly at me. I knew that shy smile; Bella wanted to try something. Her fingers played with the buttons on her shirt. I'd given her one of my old BDU blouses. Appalled, Alice immediately modified it. Everything had been stripped off except my name, I had to admit that I liked seeing, 'Cullen' labeling Bella. Alice had also taken it in, and made it fit snuggly. Bella carefully unfastened first one button and then a second. Her hands were shaking, so I stopped her._

"_Bella?"_

"_Yeah?" Her hands stilled on the third button._

"_You don't have to…"_

"_Do you want me to stop?" she asked, disheartened._

"_I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that I will never want you to stop. You, on the other hand, look a bit nervous," I explained._

"_I'm not," she said unconvincingly._

_I raised an eyebrow at her._

"_Fine, I'm nervous," she admitted._

"_Why?" I pressed. _

_Bella dropped her hands. I could see the blue lace of her bra peeking out from between the two sides of her shirt. I looked up at her face and tried very hard to keep my focus there._

"_I'm really not good with this kind of stuff," she said._

"_Okay… I think that might be because you've never done it before…"_

"_There was a guy once," she stopped mid-sentence. She loosened her hair from the bun on the back of her head and hid behind the curtain of wavy brown hair that formed around her face. I was nervous. In the back of my mind I was filling in the blanks for her, and none of my blank-filling resulted in anything positive. I was perched somewhere between the emotions of rage and concern. If someone had hurt her…_

"_Bella? I'm going to need you to finish that sentence before I assume the worst."_

"_It's nothing that bad… I just… The only other guy I've ever loved… dumped me for my sister." She'd stumbled through the explanation, but it calmed me down. _

"_Angela?" I clarified._

"_Yeah, it was Ben actually."_

"_Ben, your brother in law, Ben? That Ben?" I was a bit shocked._

"_Um, yeah. Mom and Phil had just gotten married. Ben, Angela and I were hanging out all the time…. Ben and I were dating, or what passes for dating in the eighth grade… and he dumped me for Ange," she explained. "It's stupid, really, but I never got over it. Ange has always been the pretty sister, the fact that she's smarter and even back then had bigger boobs didn't help either. He was the only thing I had, that she didn't, and he dumped me for her."_

_I just stared at her for a moment. Then, wanting to offer some form of comfort without knowing what to say, I carefully rubbed her back._

"_You're the pretty sister," I whispered into her ear. _

I was just thankful that her lack of self-confidence had its roots in something completely ordinary. I took every opportunity to tell her exactly how I felt about her. It seemed to help. By midsummer, she was less bashful and more comfortable with herself. We were still treading water on a physical level, but I didn't care.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and smelled bacon. Bella was spoiling me. Very soon, I would have to go back to eating cold cereal every morning.

Bella and Alice were already eating. Bella smiled at me. I caught Alice grinning at the two of us and realized that I was smiling from ear to ear.

"I've made a decision!" Alice chirped.

"You're going to wear white after Labor Day!" Bella gasped in mock horror.

"Um, no," Alice scoffed. "I'm not going to complete my doctorate."

"You're kidding," I grunted and found myself a plate for breakfast.

"Nope, I'm going to work for Dad."

Alice had intentionally ambushed me with Bella around. She knew that we couldn't talk about Dad's business around her. Bella merely knew that Dad worked for a company that had a defense contract, not that what he actually did for a living. I scowled at Alice. We were going to talk about this without Bella present. I was just going to have to find a way to occupy Bella.

"Oh, the family business, that sounds like a good idea." Bella smiled. "I'm going to miss you, though. Are you sure you don't want to put in the extra two years? I mean you're already halfway through. You really shouldn't stop at a master's."

I kissed Bella on the back of her neck to show my appreciation. Hopefully, my beautiful girlfriend could talk some sense into my sister. Then, I wouldn't have to deal with it.

"I just don't want to do it anymore. My goals have changed," Alice sighed.

"But you've invested so much time! If you quit now, it'll be hard to get another program to take you seriously," Bella balked.

"I can't explain, but it's something I need to do," Alice said directly to me.

Case closed. Argument over before it'd even begun. Alice was going to pull her trump card; she'd seen something. I exchanged a worried glance with Bella. She knew as well as I did not to bother arguing with Alice when she was like this. We both felt like she was making a mistake, but for different reasons.

I knew that Alice was putting herself in danger. Dad worked in the intelligence community, and many of his contracts were off the record. I didn't want to think about it. Alice was potentially making an epic mistake, but she would never see it that way. Alice always knew better than everyone else.

We'd made a pinky swear as teenagers that although we were both 'gifted' that we wouldn't follow in Dad's footsteps. He'd gone missing the spring of my senior year of high school. No one knew where he was, at least no one who was willing to tell us anything. Alice made me promise that I wouldn't go into intel after Westpoint.

"Okay," I sighed.

Bella hopped up to clear her plate. "I've got work today," she announced.

"Today?" I asked. I hate to admit it, but I was whining.

"Yes, today!" Bella was practically jumping up and down. I immediately knew why she was so excited. Some random band was most likely going to be at the station and she'd begged to take someone else's shift so that she could be there.

"Band?" I asked, not knowing which one since she followed so many obscure groups.

"Yep! I'll be home around four." She kissed my cheek and danced out of the kitchen toward the garage.

I immediately rounded on Alice.

"Don't even," she sighed.

"You're sure?" I asked.

"Positive."

"And that's it? You're just going to go work for Dad now, and I'm not allowed to say anything about it?" I argued.

"It's entirely necessary," she assured me.

"I thought we agreed not to…"

"I know, I know. You have to believe me when I say that I feel terrible about breaking our deal, but I have to do this. I've tried to find another way to be happy, and I'm not," she explained, gesturing a little too much. "I just feel like I could be more useful. This thing that I can do, it's a gift, Edward. I could help keep people safe."

"You could get yourself killed."

"I could get hit by a car crossing Washington Street and die," she said.

I raised an eyebrow at her but let her comment slide. "I guess that a pinky swear between teenagers is no longer binding."

"I'm pretty sure that it was never legally binding," Alice chuckled.

"Fine," I sighed.

"Listen, I'll be fine. I'm clairvoyant. I'll see any trouble long before it's a problem," she said a little too cheerfully.

"You and I both know that's bullshit, Alice. You can't predict everything."

"But I can predict some things, and usually the important ones."

"When do you leave?" I pushed the food around on my plate like a little kid at dinner. I couldn't eat.

"I'll go next week." Alice had given up eating, too.

"You really feel like you have to do this?" I asked.

"I really do. It's my calling."

"Then do it," I conceded.

"You have no idea how much that means to me, brother dear." Alice jumped up and gave me a hug from behind, trapping me in my chair. "I promise to be safe."

"You'd better be."

We didn't discuss the matter again. I knew that Alice would be shipped off to The Farm for training, and that would take around six months. I had a really bad feeling about Alice's change in career path. I was just going to have to trust her judgment for the time being and hope for the best.

* * *

**End Note:**

BDU – Battle dress uniform. I've always heard the top of this referred to as a "blouse." I can't find anything in writing to support this.

ACU – Army Combat Uniform. This is the pixelated uniform that the Army currently uses. Incidentally, the top is now called a jacket.


	14. Chapter 13 Found

**A/n:**

Beta'd by loss4words.

* * *

**Bella **

_May 2010 Atlanta GA_

There was a car waiting to take me to the airport. I still wasn't allowed to drive, even though I could tell when my mind was going to try and jump. It was understandable. I wasn't safe on the road.

My apartment was completely barren, except for the bed. Jacob was going to pick it up after I'd gone. He'd sent me an e-mail asking for it - an impersonal e-mail simply asking that I not give it away. He wanted it, the bed he'd bought for us. It was nice, perhaps a bit feminine for a bachelor. In truth, I didn't care what he did with it.

At Carlisle Cullen's insistence, I hadn't been completely honest with Jacob about where I was going. I'd simply told him that I had a job offer with a security company in Maryland, and that I could get treatment without drugs at a clinic there. It was a half-truth born out of necessity. He would have followed me otherwise, or called my father.

My suspicions were confirmed about SpecInt's true purpose the day after Jake and I fought when I received my employment packet via courier. The courier, who wore a black suit, waited while I filled out a form that looked suspiciously like an application for security clearance. I was certain that he wasn't a courier.

I had to list essentially every person I had ever known or associated with from birth to the present. I was fortunate that the list was easy to compile. I had a long memory, and tended to forge strong friendships. I dared the NSA to find the elusive Edward Cullen, though. Actually, they probably knew exactly where he was. I grumbled to myself as I wrote down the only address I'd ever had for him, and the one for his sister, Alice.

After a quick internet search to find the current information for some of my former coworkers at WUOG, I handed him the two forms he needed, that one and an NDA. Everything else would remain in a folder for me to hand in to HR when I arrived.

I wasn't even sure where I was ultimately going when I got into the car. I had a one way ticket to Dulles, and two suitcases. The rest of my things had been shipped either to an apartment that I was told was "near the office," or my dad's house in Washington. If I didn't stay with SpecInt, I fully intended to move back in with Charlie and work for the newspaper or a small radio station there. No matter what happened, I was leaving this life behind for something else.

I struggled to stay focused during my flight. I was stressed and losing focus left and right. For once, I wished for the medicine that I was only allowing myself to take at night. I wanted to sleep, to ignore the painful process of extracting myself from the comfort of what I knew. I wanted it to be over.

I didn't remember travelling, except for the heartache and the nervous stomach.

The plane touched down and I nearly screamed.

I really had to get a grip on myself, because I was heading straight to the office. HR had my apartment keys since they'd acquired it for me, and I had to turn in the boring folder full of tax forms that sat in my carry-on bag.

I'd expected a car. What I got was a giant former Marine, with a baby face and a high and tight waiting for me in baggage claim. He'd already retrieved my suitcases and waved when I stepped into view. Baby face and lack of hair taken into account, he was still a very attractive man. He wasn't what I would be interested in dating, but he drew quite a bit of attention.

"Isabella Swan?" he asked as soon as I was in earshot.

"Um, yeah, just Bella," I said quietly and extended my hand.

"Well, Just Bella, I'm Emmett McCarty," he smiled and moved my hand, instead hugging me so tightly that I thought for a moment that I would stop breathing. "Welcome to the family."

"Thanks," I said awkwardly when he released me.

"We are gonna have so much fun!" He rubbed his hands together before picking up my luggage and directing me out the door.

I wasn't really sure about Mr. McCarty's assessment that we were going to have fun. He was a bit intimidating to look at and I was nervous. His driving didn't help. What was worse was the fact that he asked me questions the entire trip.

"So, Bella, can I call you Bella?"

He swerved around a bus.

"Um, yeah, that's fine, Mr. McCarty," I squeaked.

"Good! Call me Emmett. What's your workout routine?"

"uh…"

Emmett was rather rapidly approaching the back of a semi.

"You don't have one, do you?"

"No?"

"Oh, that's a shame. How do you feel about running?"

Was he really asking me about running while driving ninety miles per hour on a somewhat congested highway?

"Running?"

"Yeah, running."

"Um, I've only been known to run when chased. I'm kind of clumsy." I closed my eyes as he narrowly missed an SUV with the front bumper.

"Have you considered yoga?"

"No."

"It might be worth a try, could help you with balance and flexibility. It's also good for helping you learn how to focus, which is going to be necessary for you, or so I'm told."

"Oh, okay?"

I nearly had a heart attack when he took his eyes off the road to adjust the stereo. What the hell was he doing?

"Okay? Geez, Bella, you're going to have to do better than that. People are going to be relying on you. You need to bring your 'A' game or go home."

"Alright, you're recommending that I take yoga."

"Nope, I'm going to order you to take yoga, and then we're going to run together. You look like you'll be a natural runner."

I very nearly laughed, but he was swerving onto an on-ramp.

By the time he pulled up to a guard house in front of a small complex of buildings just off the beltway, I felt like I'd permanently lost the ability to speak. At some point he explained that I was to be assigned to the same team he was on, under some guy named Jasper, and that Mr. Cullen, just Carlisle to everyone else, had asked that Emmett take over the physical side of my training.

I tripped my way out of the car, and Emmett tucked me under his arm.

"Welcome home," he announced and led me to the closest of three buildings. "Let's introduce you around before we hit HR with your paperwork, shall we?" He paused to send a text from his phone.

"Sounds good." I was beginning to get more comfortable with Emmett. He was rather exuberant, but I could tell that he was a nice person.

Emmett swung open the door to the building. Carlisle was waiting for us just inside.

"Thanks for the text, Emmett. Welcome, Isabella, I see that you've made it here in one piece," Carlisle greeted us. He glanced briefly at Emmett's arm draped over my shoulder and Emmett released me. "Would you like the tour?"

"Sure," I said, feeling my nerves returning.

Carlisle began with the front desk. A small woman with blonde curly hair sat behind a desk, speaking to someone on the phone through headset. She lifted a finger to Carlisle, silently asking him to wait a moment. When she finished the call she stood and turned toward us.

"Maggie, this is Isabella Swan. Isabella, Maggie is our receptionist and resident lie detector. She screens all of our calls, and occasionally provides assistance in other ways when her services are needed."

Maggie stepped around the desk and hugged me.

"Good to meet you," she said.

"Um, you too," I managed to utter, still completely shocked by the hugging. I didn't expect that. I expected everyone to have a cool demeanor and be smooth like James Bond.

"Whatever you do, don't lie to Maggie," Emmett warned as we stepped away from the lobby. "She will eat you alive."

I felt my eyes go wide with shock.

"I'm not joking, she'll take you down if she suspects any form of deception. Carlisle hired her after we ran into some problems," Emmett whispered.

"Enough, Emmett, we don't want to scare Isabella away, do we?"

That sounded ominous.

"Scare me away?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "What happened?"

"It was just a security breach," Carlisle explained while simultaneously brushing me off.

I looked to Emmett who silently promised to explain everything to me later. We walked down a long hall that looked like it belonged in an average office building. I don't know what I was expecting but a normal hallway in a normal building definitely wasn't it.

"This is building one. You've been assigned to Jasper; Jasper's team is housed here," Carlisle commented dryly. "Building two houses HR and maintenance as well as travel. You share this building with administration, Eleazar Denali's group, and when they're in country, Dmitri Ivanov's group."

"It's highly likely that you'll never meet Ivanov and his crew of miscreants. Carlisle never keeps them in country long; they do a lot of dirty work that no one else will touch," Emmett whispered. I could tell that Carlisle heard him because he scowled over his shoulder.

"This is Denali's section of the building. Each team has their own offices, supply closet, RV rooms, and conference room." The wall to our right ended, revealing a bank of cubicles. I caught a head or two popping up over the edge of the short walls, and then disappearing like the game whack-a-mole. Carlisle stopped at a door to the left and knocked.

"Come in," a man replied.

"Eleazar, do you have a moment to meet Isabella? She's the new trainee on Jasper's team. She might do well for you when she's done, shows lots of promise."

I blushed.

Eleazar stepped out of his office, holding a cell phone in his hand with his finger over the mouthpiece. He had black hair with a slight dusting of grey just beginning to appear at his temples, and flawless olive skin that made him look like he lived on the beach.

"Ah, Isabella! Do you mind if I call you Bella?" he asked as he gave me an awkward one armed hug.

"That's fine," I said as he released me.

"Good, good, I have Carmen on the phone," he apologized to Carlisle, who nodded and signaled us to move along.

"Eleazar's wife, Carmen, is CIA. We've been trying to steal her for years," Emmett said.

"Oh," I said, not really knowing how to react.

"That's not entirely true," Carlisle sighed. "You need to stop spreading rumors, Emmett."

"I'm providing useful information," Emmett defended himself.

"Your color commentary is unnecessary," Carlisle commented. The hallway ended in a set of doors. Carlisle pushed them open and led us into an open stairwell. An elevator stood to our right, while the stairs snaked up one story to the left. He led us to a door next to the elevator. "This is the kitchen, it's shared by the whole building. He opened the door and led us into the room. In contrast to the rest of the building, which was relatively drab, the kitchen was bright. A bank of appliances including two stoves and a giant subzero refrigerator stood on one side of the room.

I was so enthralled with the refrigerator that I almost missed the room's sole occupant, a girl sitting in front of a laptop with a Bluetooth earpiece in her ear, typing frantically and cursing under her breath, while eating a burrito. I assumed that she was someone's kid. The girl barely looked eighteen. She was dressed in black skinny jeans, combat boots, and a blue sweater. Her hair was what really struck me, it was auburn – almost bronze - with neon blue tips.

"Isabella Swan, may I present Renesmee Masen," Carlisle introduced us.

"Swan … Swan… Isabella Swan, why does that name sound familiar?" The girl cocked her head to the side and offered me her hand. She stood smoothly before I reached her. She didn't hug me but held onto my hand and stared into my eyes, like I held the answer to some insurmountable problem. "It'll come to me in the middle of the night why your name is familiar. Sorry," she shook her head as if to clear it, "Most people call me Ren. Uncle Carlisle is the only one who insists on my full name."

_Uncle Carlisle?_

"Oh, you're related?" I asked.

"Yeah…." The girl replied somewhat hesitantly, and released my hand.

"Renesmee is my niece. She's working off her debt to society by using her abilities for good," Carlisle explained.

"Essentially, I got caught allocating a Pentagon server for World of Warcraft. It was totally worth it, best campaign _ever._" Ren grinned from ear to ear.

"I seriously doubt it would have been worth it if we'd let you rot in jail," Carlisle raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, please, I left the server better than I found it, and if you hadn't picked me up, the NSA would have," she scoffed. "Besides, this is _so_ much better than college."

Carlisle sighed, "Renesmee floats from team to team as needed, but she stays in this office at all times. No field work, _ever. _She's under my supervision as part of the terms of her parole."

"I don't think it's technically being paroled if you're only in jail for three days, and only because your stubborn uncle wants to teach you a lesson."

"Which you obviously have not learned," Carlisle pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated. Damn, he reminded me of Edward.

"Anyway!" Ren said brightly, "My desk, which I never actually get to use, is upstairs next to Uncle Carlisle's assistant. He likes to keep an eye on me."

"Another reason why she prefers not to use her desk." Carlisle smiled indulgently and gave his niece a one-armed hug.

"I love you," Ren said sweetly and stepped out of her uncle's embrace. "I'm terribly sorry but I have to get back to work."

"Of course, are you working for Eleazar today?" Carlisle dropped his voice.

"Um… no… Dmitri needed me to crash building security for Operation Lone Wolf," she said, sitting back down.

"Very good, we'll leave you to it." Carlisle patted her shoulder before leading us back into the hallway. "She really is a good girl, don't let the criminal record fool you," he said as soon as we were out of earshot. "Her mother asked me to look after her."

I nodded.

"Well, through these doors is where Jasper's team calls home." He opened the door on the right and stepped through. We made an immediate left turn into an office. It seemed that nothing at SpecInt was going to be what I expected. The office door was labeled 'Japer Whitlock, Team Leader.' The inside of the office looked like it belonged to a history professor. It carried the smell of old books and the enamel paint used on model planes.

A ruggedly handsome man sat behind a desk at the far end of the room. His wavy blond hair fell into his eyes, which were_ so_ blue that I could discern the color from the doorway. He immediately stood up and crossed the room to us.

"Well, hello there," he greeted me.

"Isabella Swan, this is Jasper Whitlock," Carlisle introduced us. His phone started beeping immediately thereafter and he excused himself, "Emmett, can you finish her tour and take her over to HR?"

"No Problem, C-man" Emmett smirked.

"Don't," Carlisle warned him, then patted me on the back. "You're in good hands; let me know if you need anything." Then he was gone. Carlisle exited the room so quickly that it was hard to believe he'd ever been there.

"Isabella –" Jasper started.

"It's just Bella, man." Emmett interrupted him. "She prefers Bella but has been letting Carlisle introduce her around with her full name since she got here."

"It's not that big of a deal…"

"Bella, we're a family here." Emmett wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Actually, a lot of people in the office are related in one way or another," Emmett began to explain. I sensed movement behind me and looked over my shoulder.

The world stopped turning for just a second. I couldn't breathe. Tears welled up in my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, because there in the doorway stood the best friend I'd ever had.

Alice Cullen.

Emmett was still talking, but I couldn't hear him. I could feel the bubble of air coming up out of my lungs; it broke out as a sob. In an instant, Alice had extracted me from Emmett and wrapped her little arms around me in a tight hug.

"You were gone. You left," I sobbed.

"I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry," she whispered.

* * *

**End Note:**

Ten points if you can place the reference for the last piece of dialog.

Yes, I left it there. Yes, I know I'm a mean, horrible person. You still love me.

She's in Maryland now. One step closer to the reunion we're waiting for…


	15. Chapter 14 Virginia

**A/n: **Beta'd by loss4words.

Please read the End Note.

* * *

**Edward**

_27 August 2007 Washington, GA_

"It's just Labor Day," I coaxed her. She had to agree. I hadn't seen Bella in two weeks, we both had the weekend off, and I wanted to introduce her to my family. Well, Esme wanted to meet her. I'd put it off for as long as humanly possible, wanting to avoid her meeting my dad. Dad was out of the country, so the timing was perfect.

"I don't know, Edward, we've got this new Freshman at the station and she's really clueless…"

"You are aware that the pitch of your voice changes when you make excuses?" I teased her. She looked down at her hamburger. We'd met in the small town of Washington, which was about halfway between Athens and Augusta. Being home in that big house by myself was suddenly lonely. I missed her and Alice, but mostly Bella, terribly. It was like Bella filled so many places in my life that I never realized were vacant.

"Can't we just spend the weekend at home?" She batted her eyelashes. I wasn't buying it.

"If I don't take you to meet Esme, she's going to come down for a visit. We can either head up to Virginia on her turf, where she'll be happy and cook for us, or we let her come to Athens. She'll want to see your apartment and stick her nose in your life."

"Suddenly Virginia sounds really nice," Bella smiled.

"Esme is going to love you, so don't worry about that. We might even get to see Alice." I intentionally omitted the possibility of meeting my father.

"Alice? Really?"

"I'm not sure, but I think that she might be able to swing by and visit for a few."

"I miss her so much, Edward. I didn't realize how deprived I was of girlfriends before, and now that she's gone it's just me and the guys again," Bella complained, pushing her hair behind her ears.

"Sorry, love, she's doing what she thinks she has to do," I explained.

"I know, I just want to go back to earlier this summer when we were all together. I miss you both."

"Well, after this year you won't have to miss me anymore. You'll finish up your degree and then we can be together all the time. Well, unless I get deployed for some reason." I tried to comfort her.

"Does that happen often?"

"Not so much since I'm a linguist. Most of what I do can be done from base. Truthfully, until I met you I'd been looking for a way to go back overseas…"

"and now?"

"… and now I want to stay a bit closer to home," I answered.

"But it could happen?"

"Yes," I said, honestly. There was always the possibility that I'd be needed elsewhere.

"It's okay, Edward, it's part of who you are, and I get that," she said. "Besides, maybe I'll end up working for Reuters or something? You never know what's going to happen. We're both in professions that kind of thrive on workaholism. If you have to go, then I'll just keep busy, and vice versa."

_I love this girl._

"So, you're saying that you could handle it if I had to go away?" I asked, just to be sure.

"It's not like we wouldn't have any contact, right?"

"Right," I smiled.

"Then, I'm fine. This is part of who you are. We're both people who thrive on excitement and unpredictability. That's part of why this works."

"So, all that about missing me…?"

"Oh, no, I still miss you," she confessed, "but I think that a lot of that is the fact that this is all still very new. We're still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship."

"You are too wise," I said, and kissed the ketchup off of her lips.

"Thank you," she blushed.

In truth, the separation was probably more difficult for me than her. She had school and work and the guys. I had work, but the few friends to whom I could still relate were married, and hanging out with them and their wives only made me miss Bella more. For once in my life I had too much free time.

"I'll drive down on Friday morning," she announced.

"Friday morning?"

"Realistically, no one else will be in class," she smiled.

"What about Thursday night?" I suggested greedily. I wanted to convince her to sleep in my bed, so that I could hold her all night and my sheets would smell faintly like her when we returned.

"I wouldn't get in until late," she grimaced.

"How late?"

"I'm covering a specialty show for Brian, so about one if I leave straight from the station."

"Could you do it safely?" I was greedy but I still wanted her to be safe and comfortable.

"I think so…" she said, biting her lip like she was uncertain.

"I don't want you to drive if you're tired." I reached out and touched her cheek. She blushed at the contact and tilted her head into my hand. I ran my thumb across her soft cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment. "I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you."

"I love you," she sighed and leaned forward with her eyes still closed.

I kissed her less playfully than before. It was soft and gentle. I wanted her to know how much I cared, how precious she truly was.

"Promise me you'll be safe," I said against her lips.

"I promise," she whispered and pulled back, opening her eyes.

"Good," I smiled at her.

Her phone beeped and her face fell. She'd set an alarm for when she had to leave. Her fingers slid over the keypad as she silenced the phone with a frown.

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

"That's okay, we have all weekend."

"All weekend," she repeated.

We rose from the table and bused it in synchronous movements. We didn't have to communicate to do simple tasks together. It was like that all the time. One of us would move and the other one would automatically respond.

Her hand slipped into mine as soon as our tray settled on top of the trashcan. She entwined her fingers with mine, and I gave her hand a playful squeeze.

'_I love you_,' my fingers said.

She looked up at me and her eyes said it back.

I took the keys from her other hand and unlocked her car. I opened her door and settled her into the driver's seat with a kiss on the forehead. Before I could stand she grabbed my shirt and pulled me down for another kiss.

The kiss was totally inappropriate for a parking lot. It was slow and sensual. I wondered when she'd gotten so bold. I found myself fighting the urge to kidnap her and get a hotel room to find out where this would go.

A bunch of kids leaving the restaurant whistled and made cat calls at us. I pulled away, reminding myself that I'd decided to wait. I wanted to do right by Bella, and making her late by dragging her off to a cheap motel room wasn't right.

I let my lips touch hers once more, briefly.

"I love you," I said as I stepped back.

She smiled and closed her door. I waited and watched her drive away before climbing into my own car, feeling just a little empty, like she'd taken part of me with her. She'd taken my heart, and I would never get it back.

**~V258~**

_30 August 2007 Augusta GA_

I waited up for her, even though she had a key and we were going to drive early in the morning. At exactly one o'clock her car pulled into its regular space in my driveway. I left my perch at the window and rushed down to greet her, and grab her bag.

She was dead tired. I wanted to be mad that she'd driven in such a state but she was too adorable. I kept her from stumbling up the stairs to my room. She hummed a stream of nearly unintelligible words having something to do with her day into my ear. Fortunately, she seemed to be dressed in comfortable clothes; she wouldn't have to change to sleep. I sat her on my bed and peeled off her jacket. She clumsily tried to unlace her shoes. I put her hands into her lap and removed them, along with her socks carefully. Bella did that girl thing with her arms where she removed her bra without taking off her shirt, and dropped the swath of pink lace on the floor.

"I'm going to lock up," I pecked her cheek and departed to turn off lights and set the alarm.

When I returned to the room she was under the covers with the lights off. I stripped down to my boxers and an undershirt. When I eased my way into bed and pulled her close to me, her smooth legs slid along mine. I realized that she'd taken off the soft cotton pants that she'd been wearing. I let out a shuddering breath and enjoyed the feel of her skin on mine. I drifted off quickly because for the first time in a month, I wasn't worried about where she was or what she was doing, because she was where she belonged.

The alarm went off too early. Bella slid away from my grasp and out of bed before I could protest. I rolled myself out of bed and made it, hoping that it would still smell like her when we got back. Bella showered quickly and emerged from the bathroom wearing nicer clothing than she typically did before I finished the bed. Her jeans had been replaced with some nice slacks and her trademark T-shirt and BDU blouse were nowhere in sight. She had on a blouse that looked like it might be silk and a lightweight, fitted blazer.

I managed to catch her by the waist as she passed me and planted a kiss just to the side of her mouth. She smelled like toothpaste and Ivory soap with a hint of perfume. She looked older dressed like this, more my age than her own. I wondered if she was doing it on purpose. Esme already knew who she was and probably her age, she was almost as bad as Carlisle. I didn't know whether or not I should share that information with Bella.

"You showering?" she asked.

"Not unless I stink, I took one last night," I said into her neck as I ran my nose along her clean skin, making her giggle.

"We should get going," she spun away from me, laughing. She was out of my bedroom and halfway down the stairs with her bag before I could pull her back into my arms. "Brush your teeth!" she called.

I finished getting ready and tossed clothing into a bag.

By the time I ventured down into the kitchen she had two water bottles filled and a tote bag full of snacks. I kissed her, and this time she allowed me access to her lips. Bella had a thing about morning breath. Her mouth opened and I slid my minty tongue along hers. She shivered and I pulled her closer.

"We could skip Virginia," I said, pulling back.

"No, we're going." She pushed me toward the door. I allowed her to do it. She grabbed the bag and water bottles from the kitchen, and I picked up her bag and my duffle on the way out.

**~V258~**

The drive was much easier with company than it ever had been alone. Bella forced me to listen to some indy rock bands that I'd never heard before. Some of them were good, and some were downright horrid. She reminded me of a parent trying to get a small child to eat vegetables.

"At least listen to a whole song, Edward," she sighed.

"Bella, it's static and beeps with guitar over it. I really don't think that I'll be missing much if we change the CD," I argued.

"Why are you being difficult?"

"I'm not being difficult, I just see no reason to subject myself to something that sounds like crap for no reason."

"Fine," she swapped out the CDs, trying to hide the smile on her face.

"Thank you," I reached over and squeezed her hand.

"Sure…" she giggled.

Bella drove for a stretch in North Carolina. She drove incredibly slowly. I took a brief nap, but decided to take over again when I woke up. She was going exactly the speed limit. While I appreciated her sensible driving, and cautious nature, I knew how long the drive could feel and I wanted out of the car as soon as possible.

I tried to convince Bella to nap since she's been up just as late as I had. It was a lost cause. Bella couldn't sleep; instead of relaxing she drummed her fingers on the door handle. She was nervous.

"Esme is going to love you," I said.

"What about your dad?"

"Dad had to go out of town."

"Oh." She stopped drumming and began biting her nails.

"There's really no need to be so nervous," I laughed.

"What if she doesn't like me?" She realized that she was chewing on her nails and pulled her fingers out of her mouth.

"It won't change anything between us," I reassured her. "But, she's going to love you. You're perfect."

"I am far from perfect, Edward."

"Why don't we pretend like we're visiting someone other than my stepmother," I suggested. "Your dad, perhaps?"

"There's even more reason to be nervous in that scenario," she chuckled. "He has a gun."

"So does Esme," I smiled.

"Yeah, but I'm fairly certain that Esme wouldn't shoot me no matter how bad the weekend goes. Charlie on the other hand… You are dating his baby girl… you might not survive."

"Charlie will love me. All fathers love me," I boasted.

"Really," she scoffed.

"Really, I have the parental mojo. Parents think I'm fabulous."

"Charlie's a hard sell…"

"I'll have Charlie eating out of the palm of my hand."

I couldn't believe that the nine hour drive had gone so quickly. We were mere minutes from the house where I grew up. I called Esme to let her know that we were almost there; she was excited.

When we pulled in, Bella didn't pause to stare at the house in awe. It seemed that after living in my house over the summer that she'd gotten used to big. She took a deep breath when I opened the car door for her and exhaled slowly before allowing me to take her hand and lead her up the steps.

Esme had the door open before we reached the top, "Edward!" She wrapped me into a tight hug and then turned to Bella. "You must be the wonderful Bella, whom I've heard so much about." She hugged Bella and for a moment, I thought my girlfriend was going to panic. It took Bella a moment to hug Esme back.

'See,' I mouthed.

"It's good to meet you, Mrs. Cullen." Bella murmured as they separated.

"Esme," Esme corrected her. "We're very informal here."

I followed the women in with our bags. Not knowing where Esme wanted Bella to sleep, I took them both to my room. When I made it back down, they were making dinner together like old friends. Bella stood at the counter chopping bell peppers, and Esme was checking the chicken in the oven.

"Is Alice going to make it home?"

I pulled a beer out of the fridge, wanting to unwind a little after the long drive.

"Unfortunately not," Esme sighed. "She's not doing so well and wanted to stay and do some additional work this weekend."

Alice was at the Farm. I wondered what was going on that she would skip out on seeing her best friend, but I couldn't ask in front of Bella, and I wasn't positive that Esme knew the answer anyway. I nodded and took a swig, settling down on a bar stool. Bella slipped a knife into my free hand and thrust a cutting board at me.

"The more you help, the faster we eat," she said.

I got to work. Esme kept her interrogation of Bella light and friendly. She didn't fish for anything incriminating. Alice had probably talked to her. Esme was accepting her without any fuss, and I was grateful.

Bella fit well. The two of them moved around in sync. It seemed that since I was watching them, I stopped chopping. Bella tapped my cutting board with her knife a few times to get my attention.

"You're falling behind, Major Cullen."

"Sorry." I apologized.

Esme snickered and muttered something under her breath. I rolled my eyes and got back to work, focusing on not cutting off my fingers. Bella was smiling; my world was perfect.

**~V258~**

"You should hear him play! Edward, you haven't played for her?" My stepmother's voice called from the living room. I'd been talking to Alice.

"You need to go," Alice said.

"Just a second," I called to the other room. "You really can't make it?"

"I can't," Alice whined. "I'm falling behind, and if I don't get my scores up my psychotic instructor is going to make me retake this unit."

"Okay," I sighed. "She really misses you."

"I miss her too." There was a loud noise on the other end of the line. "I have to go!" The line went dead and she was gone.

I knew that things were hard on Alice. In truth I was using Bella as an excuse. I wanted to see her too. She'd called my cell phone to check-in, and I was working very hard at not begging her to quit and come back to Georgia.

In the meantime, Bella and Esme had moved to the living room to eat dessert and look at my baby pictures. They must have moved on to my tween years because the piano had come up in conversation.

When I stepped into the living room they were giggling with their heads together. Bella looked up and over the back of the couch at me, and moved her hand to indicate that I should take a seat at the piano.

"It's been a while," I said.

"Just warm up and do it," Esme groaned. "You're always telling me that you don't have time to play but every time I shame you into it, you play beautifully."

"Alright." I grinned and moved over to the bench. My fingers flew over the keys, playing scales to warm up. I moved on to some easy pop songs. Bella moved to sit with me, and Esme ruffled my hair.

"I'm off to bed. Don't burn the house down," Esme announced, and retreated to her bedroom.

When she had gone I started Someone to Watch Over Me. Bella grinned from ear to ear and began to sing along.

"_There's a saying old_

_Says that love is blind_

_Still we're often told seek and ye shall find"_

I'd never really listened to Bella sing without the radio or a band in the background. Her voice was actually quite pretty. She'd obviously never taken formal voice lessons, but if she had she would have been fantastic.

"I want to try something," I said quietly under her singing.

She nodded.

I began to sing with her, but made up a harmony. She gave me a thumbs up and we kept going. When we reached the end of the song the final note resonated through the house. I could feel it inside me. It was an incredibly intimate moment, like we were one entity.

Bella carefully turned her head toward mine and tilted it to the side. I responded by slipping my fingers into her hair and pulling her mouth to mine. She tasted sweet, like the cheesecake that Esme had bought for dessert, and wine. My stepmother had given her some even though she'd protested. I hadn't realized that she drank it.

I pulled back briefly to draw in a breath. She shuddered as I exhaled on the overheated skin of her neck. Her cheeks were flushed, and the pink hue was creeping down her neck. I bent down and kissed the edge of her collar bone, which peeked out of her blouse. She hummed as I kissed and nipped a path up to her earlobe. At her sharp intake of breath, I re-situated us so that she was in my lap, straddling me on the bench.

"Oh!" she gasped.

I was about to be a little less than gentlemanly, but Bella seemed to enjoy it. I reclaimed her lips to keep her from making too much noise and rocked my hips up into hers. She responded in kind. I slid my hands down her back and wrapped them around her waist, helping her find a rhythm that matched mine.

Her eyes popped open.

"Is this okay?" I groaned out.

"Uh huh, yeah, perfect," she whispered.

I picked up the pace until she was writhing against me, and trembling. She stilled as she hit her peak. I held her and gently continued until I felt mine crest and fall.

"You've been holding out on me," she said.

"A little," I admitted.

"More than a little," she smirked.

"I take it that you and Ben never dry humped as teenagers?"

"I didn't do much with Ben," she said. "He kind of laughed at my preteen boobs and then dumped me for my sister. It wasn't exactly pleasant, remember?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered into her neck.

"Mike tried this with me once," she confessed.

"Mike?" I asked.

"Mike Newton. Our parents set us up. He dry humped my leg after prom, it was bad." She groaned.

"Mike was an idiot," I said.

"Yes, he was. Who knew that that could be so… wow… when things line up."

"There are so many things that can be wow when things line up."

"Show me," she dared me with a cocked eyebrow. That little mannerism was something she'd picked up from Alice and me.

"When you're ready. I want things to be special."

"How long are you going to make me wait?"

"Until there's no doubt in your mind exactly how much I love and appreciate you."

"Done," she said.

"No. Come on, I need to go clean up, and you need some sleep." I helped her get her feet back on the floor, and wrapped my arms around her from the back. She laughed as I steered her up the staircase without letting go until we reached the guest bedroom. I kissed her several more times in the doorway.

"Goodnight," she said, finally pulling away.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Her door closed slowly, separating us for the night. I took a shower and tried not to think about her. When I returned to my bedroom she was nestled under my blankets asleep. I sighed and crawled in behind her, the big spoon to her little one.

**~V258~**

Her clothes for the weekend were meant to torture me. If I hadn't known better, I would have sworn that Alice had packed her bags. There was nothing immodest in her suitcase, but every item of clothing seemed to be cut in just the right way to skim over her body, making my fingers wish that they'd been made of cotton so that they could caress her the same way the fabric did. It was mind boggling how clothing could reveal so little and yet ignite my imagination so thoroughly. I was a goner.

I've never been one for girls in skimpy dresses and high heels. It seemed to me that there was no point in undressing a woman who's already shown you everything she possibly could without getting arrested. I've always wanted to use my imagination and discover the mysteries of a woman's body piece by piece.

Bella's shape was something that my fingers had memorized. I knew the curve of her waist and the flair of her hips. I loved that concave bit of her back that led down to her round bottom. I didn't know what it all looked like, and the way these clothes accentuated her curves made me want to see all of her.

The final straw was her swimsuit. It was blue, and seemed perfectly innocuous, except for the fact that it was my favorite color, and had these little ruffles that tickled my hands when I touched her. I found it very hard to keep things appropriate poolside.

Bella kept laughing at me. I very nearly pushed her into the side of the pool and got us off again, but I decided that she would be mortified if Esme caught us. I couldn't bear the thought of embarrassing Bella. I was going to die.

"Your dad's not coming home," Esme announced from the door.

We both turned to look at her. Bella swam away from me, allowing me to hop out and talk to Esme privately.

"His _meeting_ is running long, and he won't be home until Wednesday."

"Damn," I said with mock exasperation.

"Damn is right, you're going to have to bring Bella back up here next time he's free," she warned.

"You'll talk to him first, right?" I asked. "I just want him to be on his best behavior."

"He's not that bad."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, he did fingerprint a few of your girlfriends…" she admitted.

"All of them. He ran criminal background checks on all of them, and do you remember Susan? He had Susan under surveillance!"

"Susan was sketchy."

"Yes, but having her followed was over the top."

"Come on, Edward. Your father will love Bella. She's everything he always hoped you'd find."

I shot Esme a look.

"I'll talk to him," she agreed.

"Thank you. She's a good girl."

"She's perfect for you."

"I know." I turned to my stepmother and stepped into her line of sight to block her from Bella's view. "Please don't bring this up with Dad, but I think she's it for me."

Esme was ecstatic. She covered her mouth with her hands to suppress a squeal.

"I knew it!" she whispered.

"Not one word," I warned.

"I promise," she said.

"Thank you."

"When are you going to ask her to marry you?"

"I want to wait, take things slowly, make sure," I said.

"Unlike Susan."

"Unlike Susan."

I'd thought Susan was funny, and smart, and she was great in bed. It was just after I graduated from West Point. After three months of dating, I asked her to marry me. She declined, we continued dating. My dad hired a team to watch her, only Susan discovered the surveillance footage. It was a disaster. I didn't want to relive that with Bella.

The rest of the weekend was a bit more relaxing. Bella continued to tease me mercilessly. She was suddenly even more determined to move our physical relationship along. I spent a lot of time in the shower.

* * *

**End Note:**

There we go. Bella met Esme.

Okay, y'all it's been a long week for me and I haven't been near a computer and lucid nearly enough to respond to reviews. I've read all of them at least once. I love them, you are ALL awesome, thank you! I'm going to try to get to replies but I can't promise that I'll get it done. It's insane over here, and from me that's saying something. I would normally force myself to wait until I'd replied to reviews to post the chapter, but I think you want me to get to the chapter after this one ASAP, so I'm posting.

There are only 2 more flashback chapters after this one (as of right now - provided I don't change anything), at which point 2010 should start moving faster.


	16. Chapter 15 Whitlock not Cullen

**A/n:**

Beta'd by loss4words.

We're back in 2010. I know it was cruel to leave you with a cliffhanger.

* * *

**Bella**

_May 2010 SpecInt Headquarters_

Puzzle pieces clicked into place. The picture in Dr. Banner's office was Carlisle. Carlisle looked familiar because I'd seen a picture of him with Edward and Alice on the mantel at Esme Cullen's house. Carlisle looked so much like Edward and shared his mannerisms because he was his father. Carlisle was Edwards freaking father. SpecInt was the family business.

"Let's sit down," Alice said.

She guided me over to a couch that sat along one wall. We sat without letting go of each other, and I continued to cry. It had been three years since I last saw her in her brother's driveway. She was getting into her Mini Cooper, which was packed with the clothes that she didn't want to send with the moving company. She'd vanished. Edward heard from her occasionally, but I never did. He said that she was well and busy, and by February they'd both disappeared.

Three years' worth of worry and grief were spilling out of me at once.

"You left, and then he was just gone. I tried to find you. You were gone. You were nowhere." I continued to cry. Alice had coaxed my head down onto her shoulder and was stroking my hair. "He said you were okay, but then… then he left."

"I know. I'm sorry," Alice whispered back to me.

It took a little while longer for me to cry myself out, but I finally ran out of tears. I looked at her and asked the one question that I didn't want to ask, the one I'd hoped to be strong enough not to need an answer for, "Is he okay?"

"He's alive," Alice sighed. "He should have talked to you. I'm sorry. By the time I knew what he'd done it was too late."

"But you could have called me." I pulled away from her, suddenly angry.

"It was weeks before I could have, and he made me promise not to contact you," she said weakly.

"And you agreed to that?"

"Bella, he was your boyfriend. You were his world. It wasn't really my choice…"

"Bullshit!" I yelled. "I was as much your friend as I was his _girlfriend_," I spat that particular word out contemptuously. It never truly covered what we were, but saying it felt like salt in a wound. The term girlfriend made it all seem trivial.

"I'm sorry," she said again.

"You're sorry? You're sorry?" I threw my hands in the air and stood up. The couch could not contain my anger. "Did ya hear that, everyone! Alice Cullen is sorry!"

It was then that I realized we had an audience.

"Actually, it's Whitlock," Jasper said.

I looked around and found four sets of eyes staring at me. Emmett and Jasper had stayed through my crying jag and rant, and an intimidatingly gorgeous blonde woman had joined us. She and Emmett were pretending not to listen.

"You got _married_?" I turned back to Alice. "I didn't even get an announcement!"

"No one got one," the blonde sighed. "They ran off to some island…"

"Isle Esme," I supplied.

"That'd be the one," she said. "Alice and Jasper here got married with just a priest on the family island. Nobody knew."

"That was my fault, Bella," Jasper said quietly.

"I take it you two know each other?" Emmett practically yelled, making an uncomfortable moment even more awkward.

"How long have you been waiting to say that?" the blonde snapped.

"Pretty much since the crying started, but it would have been rude to say it, and then I thought it might be inappropriate with the screaming… This was really my first opening," Emmett deadpanned.

"It was still inappropriate. Bella, please pardon the resident oaf. I'm really not sure why we let him interact with people."

"Diffused the situation, didn't it?" Emmett mumbled.

"I'm Rosalie Hale," the blonde introduced herself. "I'll be working with you on Remote Viewing until –"

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and glanced at Alice. She seemed to be sitting perfectly still with her hands folded in her lap. I turned back to look at Rosalie who was now wearing a confused expression.

" – until we have a free trainer?" she finished. She was looking at Alice and Jasper. I turned and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.

"Bella Bella, why don't we finish the tour," Emmett piped up.

"Um… okay," I agreed. "Nice to meet you."

Rosalie hugged me, followed by Jasper. When Alice wrapped her arms around me I leaned down to whisper in her ear, "You owe me, big time."

"Yes, I do," Alice nodded.

Emmett practically dragged me out the door and up to a bank of cubicles. There were four clustered together in the center of a large opening across from Jasper's office.

"This is our workspace," he announced. "I'm this first one on the left. You'll take the one on the right. Rose is behind me, and when we finally get someone in to train you properly, he'll take the one behind yours. Alice and Jasper share his office, as she never used her desk in the first place."

I walked over to my cube. It had three walls that came just below the top of my head. They were grey. I had a matching grey office chair, and a light grey counter for a desk.

"Wow, this is kind of monochromatic," I commented. My nose was still stuffy from crying.

"You'll have to ask Rosalie about that. Almost everything on our end of the building is grey. It has something to do with you guys. Come on, I'll show you the Remote Viewing room, it makes this look exciting." He smiled down at me and took my hand.

We came back out to the hallway and took it away from the fire doors, to the second door on the left. Emmett opened it with a somewhat half-hearted flourish. It was like he was consciously toning down his exuberance for my benefit.

"This is it," he announced and stepped out of the way.

The room was fairly empty, one table, one desk chair, and a large adjustable ergonomic chair that looked like it would be really comfortable. Absolutely everything was the exact same shade of grey. It looked like something off a spaceship in a movie.

"That's really grey," I said without any emotion in my voice. I was feeling drained after my reunion with Alice, and I couldn't help but sense that she and the others were hiding something from me. The way that Rosalie stopped mid-sentence and then finished in what sounded like a question was weighing heavily on me.

"You're not about to jump are you?" Emmett asked timidly.

I gave him a questioning look, and then realized that I had been feeling a bit tingly.

"Carlisle told us in our briefing that you jump at random. You had the same look on your face that Rose gets," he explained.

"Sorry," I apologized and shook my head, trying to ground myself. It worked, but I could tell that it would be a long night. "Thank you." I offered him a smile.

"No problemo. I would ask if you wanted to try out the chair but I'm not sure if that's a good idea without Rose or Carlisle around."

"Thanks, I'm sure I'll get a chance to try it out soon enough."

"It's the best chair in the building. Sometimes I sneak in here to nap," he chuckled and scratched his neck. "The comfy chair is, of course, not meant for napping but remote viewing."

"I got that," I nodded, smiling.

We stood there awkwardly for a few moments. The incident with Alice was weighing heavily on the mood in the room. He finally opened his mouth again, "You know Alice."

"Yeah, we went to UGA together."

I caught a flash of recognition behind his eyes. He knew something that he wasn't going to tell me. I filed that information away for later.

I shifted my weight uncomfortably, in an attempt to find something in the room interesting enough to distract us from the topic. There was a two way mirror along one wall. It led to the room we'd passed in the hallway. "Where does that go?" I pointed to it.

"Ah, that goes to the observation room." He walked over and tapped his fingers gently on the window. "Early on Rose or… someone else … will be in here with you, then they'll move in there," he indicated the room beyond the glass, "and eventually you'll be on your own."

He fortunately took the cue I was giving him and continued my tour. The conference room wasn't grey but it was still fairly boring. There was another grey room for remote viewing, it lacked an observation room. A supply closet, and a couple of storage rooms sat at the end of the hall. He promised to show me the exercise room and firing range later in the week because they were in another building.

"That's pretty much our space." Emmett waved his hands theatrically, regaining some of his lost playfulness as we returned to the fire door. "Next stop is HR. I'm told that they set you up with an apartment."

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Good, you're probably in my complex then, it's only a couple of miles away. We can run to work together in the morning."

I think that I may have groaned at him. He was serious about running.

"Come on, Bella, cheer up. I'll even make you a playlist for your iPod." He mock punched my shoulder.

"I'm not answering the door if you show up," I groaned.

"You will," he said. "I grow on people - like a fungus."

"Good to know," I replied.

"Come on, let's get you some keys so you can move into your new place."

I was still wondering what I'd gotten myself into when Emmett finally took me to my new apartment an hour later. Seeing Alice had been unexpected and I wasn't sure how I felt about working with her. I really hated myself for it, but part of me was glad that Edward was okay. Maybe knowing that would help me let him go. Everything was going to be just fine.

**Emmett**

_May 2010 SpecInt Headquarters_

What. The. Hell.

The pixie was up to something again, and Jasper was in on it. I put two and two together fairly quickly. Bella Swan was _the_ Bella, the one that Eddie-boy went into a tailspin over when he first joined SpecInt. I didn't understand him or his obsession with keeping this Bella safe and completely ignorant of SpecInt.

Jasper had suggested that he resume his relationship with her, and just not read her in. She didn't need to know what he did for a living. Edward had rejected the idea, but remained obsessed with her. For the first two months I knew him, Edward creeped me out. He had pictures of the girl in a folder at his desk.

I cursed myself for not recognizing her immediately. Granted, I'd never gotten a good look at the photos beyond a glace, but I knew they weren't snapshots. He had high resolution surveillance photos.

Alice had some explaining to do. I dropped Bella at her apartment and drove back to the office. I stormed into the building. Maggie looked up from her computer, and wisely chose not to say anything. When I reached Jasper's office I threw open the door.

"That's Bella, as in Edward's Bella," I accused the couple sitting on the couch.

"Wait, this is what you've been hiding from me?" Jasper turned on his wife.

"Yes, and yes," Alice sighed.

"Alice," Jasper scolded her and scratched his head violently.

"You have to tell them," I said.

"Not yet."

I blinked at her. Exactly how did she think that was going to work? We could all tiptoe around saying his name for a couple of weeks, but the second they saw each other all bets would be off. Edward was going to flip the hell out. I was fairly certain that I wouldn't be able to blame him for it either.

"I am not going to be part of this," I protested.

"It'll be fine, Emmett." Alice tried to reassure me.

"She's a nice girl, Alice, a good girl. She deserves better."

"He's got a point, darlin'."

"If we tell her now, she'll run," Alice said, rubbing her temples.

"… and for good reason, your brother is kind of creepy."

"Edward is not creepy," she protested.

"Darlin', Edward is a few fries short of a happy meal," Jasper said.

"Thank you." I nodded at Jasper. At least someone in the room had sense.

"No," Alice snapped. "I'm not giving this up, and neither of you can make me. If you tell her, she'll leave and she'll never figure out how to control this. Edward and Rose can help her. Besides, there has to be a reason why this happened…"

"You are not playing the fate card…" I sighed.

"It's fate," Alice said with a fire in her eyes. "They're meant for each other and the more they try to fight it, the harder the universe will push them together."

I could feel the exact second that Jasper and I gave up the argument. Alice wasn't going to listen, and she was hell on wheels when she got like that. Jasper threw his hands up, and I shrugged.

"We have to tell him," Jasper said.

"After he's back," Alice nodded.

"Fine, but I'm not cleaning this up, do you hear me?" I snapped. "I have nothing to do with this insanity."

"You're involved already," Alice said. "You're attached to Bella, like a brother."

I growled at her and stormed out of the room. The whole thing was ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. I went to my desk and tried to find something I could break.

"Having difficulties over there?" Rosalie asked from the other side of the divider.

"I'm just… grrrrr… I can't even… the nerve!"

"You sound like you need some stress relief," she said.

Stress relief was code. I was about to do something very stupid in the supply closet to blow off some steam. I kept swearing that it wasn't going to happen again, that I'd go to the gym instead, but I was weak willed when it came to Rosalie. She and I had an agreement of sorts; it'd been going on for a while. The supply closet was our preferred location, because it locked and no one ever went in there. I found myself in the dark with her within a minute, doing what we could to relieve stress. Rosalie and I had been playing out this little song and dance since we were assigned to the same unit in the Marines. It didn't seem to matter if we were dating other people. Inevitably something would happen and one or the other of us would need a quick release, and we'd sneak off to take care of it. We were very good it. It was a routine that was quiet, fast, and mind blowing for both of us.

I felt much better when we'd finished. I knew that I had to do what I could for Bella, and if that meant keeping my mouth shut then I guessed that I'd do it. I just wished that there was another way, but the damn pixie was always right.

* * *

**End Note:**

Oh, Alice, you meddlesome pixie…

Okay, I'm all caught up on review replies. I apologize if I missed a couple in my response blitz the other day. Welcome new readers!


	17. Chapter 16 Missing In Action

**A/n: ** Beta'd by the gorgeous loss4words.

* * *

**Edward**

_22 January2008 Augusta, GA_

Two weeks. I had to wait two more weeks.

The ring was locked in the safe at my house for fear that I'd slip and just give it to her. I almost had over MLK weekend. She was in my house, half naked on the couch, and part of me just wanted to ask her. I wanted to get it over with and move on to the next part of our lives. She was making it harder and harder to say no to her. The fact that her shirt was off nearly killed my resolve to wait on the ring or wait until we were engaged to have sex. In the end, I pulled away.

I wanted to wait until February fifth. One year from our first date. I should have gone with the 31st of January, the night she walked into my life, but I was scheduled to work. She would be crashing from her usual post show high if I did it then. I didn't want to compete with that. We were both off on the sixth, and I'd already called her news director to ask for a favor. Bella wasn't to be assigned any stories to cover that day.

I'd planned on starting us off with a private dinner at the Georgia Hotel. I reserved their small ballroom, and engaged the chef. Everything was going to be perfect. She knew that I planned on spending the night at her apartment, and that I had something special planned for the evening. I was fairly certain she knew I was going to ask her to marry me.

We were ready. She still hadn't met my dad. It was probably best to introduce them with her as my fiancé anyway. Carlisle was working on a case, as was Alice, and the two were with a team in Afghanistan over Christmas. Esme had gone home to her parents in Oregon, while Bella and I went to Forks to meet her Dad.

_It was late on Christmas night when I finally got the nerve to ask him. Charlie was an intimidating man, even to me. I'm not sure if it was because he held the key to my happiness, or because he was armed and I wasn't. Bella went to bed and Chief Swan stayed up late with me, watching ESPN. _

"_Chief Swan?" _

"_What is it, Edward?" he peeled his eyes away from the television screen and gave me his full attention._

"_As you know, I've been dating Bella for a while…"_

_He chuckled and shook his head, before returning to his usual stoic calm. "Listen, Edward, I'm not an idiot. I know what you're about to ask and there are some things you should know. The first is that I'm very protective of my daughter. I don't care who your family is or what they do, and believe me, I know exactly who Elizabeth Masen-Cullen was and her family connections. I also have an inkling as to what your daddy might do for a living. I will make you regret ever being born if you hurt her, provided that Jacob Black doesn't kill you first."_

_I couldn't figure out how he knew about my family, except for the fact that he must have been well connected. I supposed that if he'd done enough sniffing he could put two and two together. I had a feeling about Jacob. He had a crush on Bella, one that he'd never acted on. Instead, he watched out for her and bided his time._

"_Second, none of this frou frou tuxedo crap. You marry my daughter and we skip the monkey suits. No grand socialite parties. Wedding. Reception. Done. Understand?"_

_I nodded._

"_Third, I want grandkids before I get too old to enjoy them. Are we clear?"_

"_Yes, chief."_

"_Good, now don't ever interrupt Sports Center again, and you can marry my daughter."_

_I nodded and relaxed back into the couch while Charlie turned his attention back to the TV. I was grinning from ear to ear._

"_Thank…"_

"_Interrupting Sports Center…"_

_I went to the kitchen and got him a fresh beer._

"_I think I like you, Edward Cullen."_

_Asking for Bella's hand hadn't been nearly as painful as I'd expected._

When we got back to Georgia, I sent her shopping with her sister, Angela. I gave Ang my credit card, and instructed her not to let Bella look at price tags or receipts. Angela was my best ally aside from my own sister, especially since I'd given her the card.

Ang assured me that Bella had a suitable piece of evening wear zipped up in a garment bag in the back of her car as I sent her back to Athens.

The waiting was killing me. I hardly slept. Anytime I talked to Bella I tried to keep it brief for fear that I'd ruin everything. I'd never been more thankful for Bella's grueling schedule.

I rolled over in bed and checked the clock, it was two. I finally started to drift off when the house phone rang shrilly in my ear.

Phone calls in the middle of the night are never a good thing. I lurched out of bed to answer it without even bothering to check caller ID.

"Edward Cullen."

"Son, I need you on a plane to DC within the hour," my father's voice shocked me.

"Dad?"

"I need you here."

"I can't. I'm supposed to be on base in a few hours…"

"I've already talked to your CO. You've been temporarily reassigned…"

"You WHAT?"

"Edward, it's Alice. She's gone missing in the middle of Afghanistan. I left her with our team so that I could come back and deal with some bureaucratic issues. She wasn't with them when they were extracted. I know that you don't want me to interfere with your career, but I need you here."

"You lost Alice?" I stared at the phone in my hand and refused to listen to anything else my father had to say. "When does my flight leave?"

"There's a private plane at the Augusta airport. Pilot's name is Whitlock, he'll leave as soon as you're on board."

I hung up and threw a bag together as quickly as possible. I'd known that something bad would happen. Alice never should have gone to work for dad. I closed down the house, hoping that I'd return soon, and suddenly very grateful that I'd hired a maid service recently to take care of clean up. They could handle any trash left in the can and other things that would be unpleasant surprises when I returned.

Without even realizing it, I was across the river and pulling into a parking space. The small terminal for private flights was a quick walk, as everything at the airport was small. A blond pilot was filing plans in the office. I immediately recognized his uniform as the multi cam that SpecInt wore for military operations.

"Whitlock?" I asked.

"Cullen," he nodded at me. I supposed that I was easy to identify, being the boss' kid and all. Carlisle and I looked alike except for the hair. His was grey, and mine was buzzed nearly to the scalp. "Let's get," he grunted.

I followed him out to a small jet and into the cockpit. "Do you mind if I…?"

"Nope, sit. I want to talk to you anyway," he said, indicating the copilot's chair. He went through his preflight routine, radioed the tower, taxied, and took off faster than I would have thought possible. "It's a real shit-storm up there," he warned.

"Do you know anything about my sister?"

"I know your father's an idiot," he muttered. "He left her with James Hunt, who doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone other than himself. He probably ditched her at the first complication."

He seemed angry, angrier than he should be.

"When was the last time anyone made contact with her?"

"Three days ago. She was still with the_ idiot_ couple then. James claims that she was slowing them down on their way to their rendezvous point, but I'm calling bullshit. He and that wife of his were up to something and Alice probably knows about it."

"She hasn't checked in?" I verified.

"No."

"Have they tried to locate her using Remote Viewing?"

"Carlisle's made a few attempts, but he can't get a lock on her."

"Crap." I could feel my fingers slipping into my hair as I considered options. I might be able to find her, but I wasn't sure. Alice was hard to track anyway, but she and I were close. If I was lucky, then I'd be able to find some clues. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, we're the recovery team, and when we find her, I'm marrying her."

I stared at Whitlock, dumbfounded for the rest of the flight.

**~V258~**

Carlisle was relieved to see me. My father, the stoic man that he tended to be, pulled me into his arms and hugged me on the tarmac. He took several deep breaths to calm himself before releasing me.

"It's my fault." He choked on the words.

I was torn between telling him that it was, indeed, his own fault and comforting him.

"I'll find her," I said. "I've always been able to find Alice." It was true; as kids with special gifts Alice and I often played with them. She tried to find ways of hiding from mine, and I did the same with hers. I had more luck than she did. Unless someone was intentionally shielding her, or she was dead, I would find her.

Whitlock was standing awkwardly behind me. I knew from his comments before take-off that he cared as much as we did, but I was certain that Carlisle didn't know that. Otherwise, he would have mentioned it, or Whitlock would have looked less guilty.

I didn't receive a full briefing. It would be easier for me to find my sister with a clear head. I couldn't have any preconceived notions of where she was, otherwise they could cloud the data I collected. I wasn't officially trained at Remote Viewing, but Alice was a special circumstance. We were close, and I'd done this search a million times before.

Carlisle led me into the closest hangar. I lay down on the couch, like I used to as a kid, and jumped. I could hear Carlisle rushing to turn on a microphone attached to his phone so he could record my observations. I already had a number in my head assigned to Alice as search coordinates. I felt myself spinning as my mind searched for her. I felt a tug and my consciousness was pulled right into an impenetrable gold dome. I glanced off the side and my eyes shot open as I landed back in my own body.

"She's shielded," I announced.

"That's what we feared," Carlisle sighed.

"Dad, I can't even get close," I whispered. "The second I hit the shield, I bounced back."

Carlisle looked defeated. He tented his fingers and let out a heavy breath. "I might be able to train you to land close by, but I think that it may take more time than we have."

"Mr. Cullen, with your permission, I'm taking a traditional recon team in," Whitlock said. He was standing in front of the door. "You can work this angle, and if you find anything I'll fly back for the Major." He inclined his head toward me. Our eyes met and I had the distinct feeling that he was begging me to agree with him.

"Do it," Carlisle and I answered together.

Whitlock nodded. "I'm taking McCarty and Hale."

"Leave Hale," Carlisle ordered.

"Sir, with respect, things will go more smoothly _with_ Hale than without her."

"And if you lose Rosalie?" Carlisle snapped.

"Have you ever known Rosalie to get lost? " He smirked. "She and Emmett are both Marines, I could really use someone who knows something with me on this. Besides, she and Miss Cullen are close, she won't stay in Maryland if we go she'll be on the next commercial flight."

"Fine. Tell Rosalie that she was right, Alice is shielded. If she looks for the shield then she might be able to find her."

Whitlock was out the door as soon as the words left my father's mouth. I was positive that the other two were already waiting for marching orders. Whitlock seemed motivated.

"Dad?"

"We have about three months' worth of training to cram into a few days. We should get moving."

Carlisle led me out of the hangar to his familiar, black Mercedes. We drove in suffocating silence. There was nothing either of us could say to make the other feel better. Both of us had failed Alice, and now she was in trouble.

* * *

**End Note:**

Sooo… Charlie? I kind of like Charlie's requirements, and Sports Center. Why on Earth would Edward interrupt Sports Center? Personally, I think Charlie enjoys making boys squirm.

We also met 2008 Carlisle. Kind of a different guy than he is in 2010…

Then there's Jasper, in uniform.

"These are a few of my favorite things…"

AND, Where the heck is Alice?

We went to Maryland this week and camp is next week, so I'm still going insane over here. I should have (dare I tempt fate by saying it) free time in another week or two. Luckily, everything through ch 20 is written and beta'd, because loss4words indulged me by editing 4-5 chapters in one day. She really does deserve a pat on the back.


	18. Chapter 17 Unpacking

**A/n:** Thank you to loss4words for beta'ing. I love your comments.

* * *

**Bella**

_May 2010 Bethesda, MD_

There was a knock on my door at six thirty. I dodged around a big box to answer it. SpecInt had provided me with a furnished apartment, so there wasn't that much to do. I didn't plan on spending much time at home. The space was sleek, modern, and completely not me. I did appreciate the state of the art appliances in the kitchen, and the hardwood floors.

I looked through the peep hole. Emmett McCarty was standing just on the other side of the door.

"Open up, Little Bell, or I'll do it myself."

"Good luck with that," I laughed.

Emmett held up his hands so that I could see them and then concentrated on the door. The deadbolt turned itself, and the door cracked open. I stepped out of the way and it swung, stopping with the knob precisely 1cm from the wall.

"Telekinesis," Emmett whispered and tapped his head.

I gaped at him.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Oh, um, yeah," I stuttered, shaking my head to clear it. "So, that's… convenient." I stepped aside and made a sweeping gesture for him to enter.

He smiled. "I have to know what I'm working with, but it does come in handy sometimes. Your lock is keyed with only two pins different from mine. It's even more fun in traffic." He shrugged. "Is this everything you brought?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Minimalistic, I like it. Most girls have all of these little knick knacks and stuff – even Rosalie's got these dolls… You're like a guy."

"Thanks?"

I closed the door and made my way back to the couch, where I was unloading a box of framed pictures.

"Can I help?"

"Not really, as you can see there's not a lot. Some pictures, a couple of awards, clothes, CDs," I pointed at the boxes. "A few plates in the kitchen… I sent a lot of stuff to my Dad in Washington. I figured that if this didn't work out I'd go there. If it does I'm not likely to be spending a lot of time at home, am I?"

"Smart girl. Do you want me to get the kitchen?"

"Sure," I agreed because it seemed unlikely that I'd get rid of him.

"Alice must have lit a fire under the moving people to get your stuff here this quickly," he called as he walked into the small kitchen.

"Seems to have only taken a day," I replied.

"That would be Alice."

I heard tape being ripped off of a box and went back to the pictures in front of me. I had a couple of family portraits and some landscapes that Jacob had taken for me.

"I can't believe you have one of these!" Emmett stomped in from the kitchen with my soup mug. It was a Campbell's soup collectible mug. I'd found it at the Goodwill store at some point during college. "My mom has a set."

I looked up from the pictures, most of which were now propped on the couch, and smiled.

"Whoa," he said and stepped a bit closer. "Who took these?"

"Jacob."

"Ah, the fiancé."

I didn't correct him.

"He's really good, is he in the news business, too?"

"Why are we pretending like you don't know everything about me?" I sighed.

"Because it's polite, and I don't really. I know facts and figures about your life, not much else," he explained. "It's like I told you before, we're a family. I'm trying to make you feel at home."

"Thank you, Emmett," I said.

I was feeling a little fragile, so it was unsurprising that a tear trickled down my cheek. Emmett set down my soup cup and hugged me.

"It's okay," he said. "Let's get you unpacked, put a couple of these up on the wall, and then get dinner."

"Okay." I sniffled a little and then extracted myself from his arms, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hands.

Thirty minutes later we were on our way over to Rosalie's to eat. He'd failed to inform me that dinner would be at her house until we got into the car. He pulled into a rather upscale looking gated community, checked in at the gatehouse and then pulled into a spot in front of a rather intimidating looking condo. There was ivy growing up trellises all the way to the third story, like it'd been there forever.

"I feel underdressed," I said.

"It's just Rose, trust me, you're fine."

Emmett unlocked the door just like he had at my house.

"Rose!" he called.

"Stop unlocking my door, you creep!" she yelled from above us.

"I brought Bella!"

I slipped into the house behind him and closed the door. It seemed that he was quite good at opening them, but not the closing part. I could hear feet on the stairs, and Rosalie appeared moments later.

"Welcome, Bella." She led me through the condo, which was more like a townhouse, with several small levels. The kitchen was on the third floor. I insinuated myself at the cutting board, chopping vegetables with my good hand.

"How's your head?" she asked, giving me a sidelong glance.

"It pretty much hurts all the time," I said. "I've gotten used to it, so I can function."

She grimaced. "It's going to hurt pretty bad tomorrow. I'm going to try and fast track you so that you're ready to go to The Farm as soon as you're able to physically handle it."

"We're going to start her exercise regime next week," Emmett interjected.

Rosalie nodded and turned away to stir a pot in the stove. "I don't know if Carlisle mentioned it, but this won't be easy. We have to retrain your brain," she said.

"Carlisle didn't mention much…"

"Why am I not surprised?" Emmett mumbled.

Carlisle had seemed pretty straightforward. He hadn't filled in all of the blanks, but then again, I hadn't asked.

"Carlisle is notorious for not sharing important information," Rosalie said. "Emmett, plates."

Emmett hopped up and brought a stack of plates over to Rosalie at the stove. I finished making the salad and we adjourned to the dining room. For a while we twirled spaghetti and stabbed at salad in silence. I kind of wanted to ask them about Edward, but didn't. I didn't want to talk about him, or Alice for that matter. My head was still reeling from seeing her. I wondered if Esme and Carlisle still lived in that big house in Virginia.

After a while, I started to observe my dinner companions. They tried to include me in light conversation, but I noticed that they seemed to look at each other for just a hair too long, and they touched each other often. A pat on the hand here, a brush of a thumb there… I was tempted to check under the table to see if they were playing footsie.

"How long have you two been together?" I blurted.

They both looked shocked.

"You _are_ together, right?"

"We're not dating," Rose scoffed and they separated.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"I'm a reporter, remember? Being observant is part of the job." I chuckled. "You two aren't doing a very good job hiding this."

"We're really not dating," Emmett said.

"But you're sleeping together…"

"Well…"

"Not sleeping, no." Rosalie smirked.

"Okay." I laughed. They were obviously in denial. "What's the dirt on Jasper?" I figured that I needed the details on Alice's husband. "Am I going to hate him?"

Emmett laughed.

"Well, if you do hate him, you probably won't for long. He's an empath," Rosalie explained.

"An empath? Like he can sense emotions?" Alice had married the male version of Deanna Troy, lovely. I really hoped that I didn't hate him.

"Sense and manipulate," Emmett said, and then took a swig from his glass of wine.

"Great," I sighed. "Why is nothing ever simple?"

"I have no clue but that's some crazy fate-juju there, the fact that you and Alice used to be friends," Emmett commented. He jumped shortly afterward and then turned beet red.

"So… You grew up in Washington…" Rosalie changed the subject.

"Yeah."

"Do you miss it?"

"I miss my dad," I said. "I can't say that I miss the cold and the wet though. At least in Georgia it was always hot."

"Hotlanta," Emmett said.

"That's what they used to call it. I haven't heard anyone say that in years though." I laughed.

"You and your dad are close?" Rose asked, trying to keep the conversation moving.

"You could say that. We don't talk much but we don't really need to," I explained. "It's like we know each other well enough that it's not necessary."

Rose continued to prod me with questions as we finished dinner. My romantic life somehow never came up. I stared down at my hands in the car on the way home. Emmett was driving recklessly again and I had no desire to watch. My left ring finger still bore an indentation from Jacob's engagement ring. It looked odd, and it made me feel kind of empty.

I was pondering my complete and utter failure at having an adult relationship when we pulled into the lot. I was more than a little upset with myself for not loving Jacob. If I could have just stopped obsessing sooner and made it work then I could have moved on, and my ring finger wouldn't be mocking me with that sliver of bright white skin. I vowed to look through my jewelry box and cover it up.

Emmett parked and I got out, still wrapped deeply in thought. My key ring found its way around my finger. It looked too much like a wedding band for comfort and I slid it back off. Emmett was talking, and I wasn't paying attention. I looked up and noticed that I was standing in front of my door.

A set of unfamiliar arms wrapped around me. I tensed for just a moment before hugging Emmett back. He was patting my back carefully.

"I know it's a lot, but you can always come to me if you need to talk," he said.

"Thanks, Emmett."

"I'm going to be here to get you at 0700 tomorrow. That should give us enough time to walk to work."

"I thought that we weren't going to start any heavy exercise until next week," I whined.

"This week, we'll walk, that's not really exercise. Next week we jog and you start Yoga." He pointed at me. "I want you in peak condition before I hand you over to The Farm."

"Fine," I huffed and unlocked the door.

"Tomorrow morning, Swan," he said as I closed the door.

I immediately dug out my tiny jewelry box and started sifting through the disorganized array of sparkly objects that Renee, Charlie, and Angela had given me over the years. I found three options that fit my left ring finger.

There was a gold ring with a sapphire solitaire and an excessive amount of filigree that Angela bought for me when I was her maid of honor. It looked a bit too large and strange on my hand. I tucked it into the ring holder portion of the box rather than dropping it into the mass of tangled jewelry.

The second option was my mom's wedding ring from when she and Charlie were married. It was a standard, round, diamond. I slipped it on my finger and immediately pulled it back off. It looked too much like the one I'd given back to Jake.

Grandma Swan's mother's ring was the last one. It was a band that sat flush on my finger with a small diamond chip embedded in it. Charlie's name was engraved on the inside. It had been purchased only a couple of years after Grandpa Swan died. She'd been pressured by her friends to move on and stop wearing her wedding ring. It was about the same time that my mother left Charlie. He'd bought it for grandma, and a tiny one with a rhinestone in it for me. Mine had been tucked away for years, saved by Charlie for if I ever had a daughter. I slid Grandma Swan's ring on my finger and smiled at the familiar look and feel of it. That ring would remind me of her and Charlie, and that was a memory I could look at every day. It was a completely non-romantic replacement.

I smiled at my hand, and thought, "That'll do, pig."

Snickering at my own silliness I dressed for bed, feeling much better about myself. If no one else in the world loved me unconditionally, my dad did.

**~V258~**

Seven came early. I was out of practice at waking up after spending weeks recovering from the blast. I'd figured out how to bandage my ribs on my own and without tape. I was using vet wrap around my abdomen during the day and an ace bandage at night. The wrist brace was still in place because the sprain was healing slowly. I still looked a bit like hell. I pulled my hair into a high pony tail to cover the fact that my hair wasn't sitting evenly, threw on some exercise clothes and shoved more professional attire into a back pack with everything I needed in order to get re-taped after a shower.

Emmett showed up at my door, dressed for work at seven sharp. He snickered at my attire.

"It's more than a mile, I'm gonna sweat," I defended myself.

He rolled his eyes and we left. I followed him along the sidewalk and then we cut across a couple of empty lots and a field, all the while listening to him chatter. Emmett talked a lot; most of it didn't seem important. He had a love of super heroes that pushed the limits of sanity. I supposed that it came from his ability. If I could move things with my mind then I'd be pretty hung up on the X-men too.

I'd seen one of the movies and a couple of episodes of the cartoon when I was a kid, but other than that, I had no clue what he was talking about. I tried my best to keep up with the conversation and his large strides. I was taking two steps for every one of his. What was a leisurely walk for him was just shy of jogging for me.

When he dropped me off at the gym housed at the back of the SpecInt complex and pointed out the showers, I was grateful. My chest was aching, and my ribs were sore. The hot water seemed to help take the edge off. I downed four ibuprofen in the bathroom while redressing.

Emmett McCarty was going to be the death of me.

Rosalie was standing in my cube when I finally reached the office. Her arms were crossed and her bright red fingernails were tapping on the elbow of her cream colored blouse.

"Took you long enough to get here," she huffed.

"Sorry, it takes a while to get dressed." I lowered my voice, "My ribs are still supposed to be taped. I'm using vet wrap on them which is a bit easier but it takes longer."

"Does Emmett know?" Rosalie eyed me like I'd been caught doing something very wrong.

"He should…"

"Emmett!" Rosalie barked.

"Um, yeah?" his head popped up over the side of the cube like a prairie dog.

"She's still taping her ribs, slow your ass down when you walk to work."

"Yes, ma'am."

I felt something at the back of my mind, a kind of light floaty feeling.

"Bella!" Rose turned and caught me just in time. I felt like I was spinning. When I got my bearings, I wasn't looking down at myself.

I was looking at Edward.

* * *

**End Note:**

I know, I know it's a bit late… I _think_ my schedule is about to calm down – maybe.

I've been typing out something resembling this in the reviews but here it is for everyone: Yes, Edward's an idiot. You just don't know how big of an idiot he is. He's kind of touched on some of his reasoning for leaving in the prologue, part of which isn't sound. At some point he's going to get a reality check.

I hope everyone's enjoying this so far. I think I'm back to consistent review responses.

Much love! Thank you for reading.


	19. Chapter 18 Obsession

**A/n:**

Thanks to loss4words for beta'ing.

I would also like to acknowledge dorothysrubyslippers, because although she's no longer acting as primary beta, there are so many little things that she and aleighy helped me with early on when I initially started converting this to fanfiction. There are little things and snippets written that they both looked at for me that will creep in throughout the story.

* * *

**Edward**

_Athens GA 2 February 2008_

It took a week and a half to find her. When the gold dome disappeared, she was in a hospital in Kandahar. She was lost in Kabul. We'd been searching Kabul. It hadn't occurred to anyone that she might have been moved. Rosalie Hale had been searching there for the shield by jumping all over the city in an attempt to run into it.

In the end, none of us had saved her. She'd been dumped outside of the local hospital, and then brought to the base by locals. She was unconscious, and the MD's on base felt that she needed to stay that way for a few weeks. There was swelling on her brain.

To make matters worse, Hunt and his crew of miscreants disappeared while we were looking for Alice. They vanished without a trace, taking a fortune in equipment with them. My father flew to Germany to sit by her bedside. He felt like he should have known what was going to happen. I'd never seen my father so upset.

I was supposed to report back to Fort Gordon, but for the first time in my life I felt torn about my profession. Maybe Alice was right when she decided to use her gift to help Dad. I felt like I needed to be with my family.

My father called as I pulled onto UGA's campus.

"Edward?" He sounded exhausted.

"Dad? What's wrong? Is Alice okay?"

"She's stable." He sighed.

"That's good, right? We can't expect to find out much else until she wakes up."

"Edward, I can't have this happen again," he said. "I need you to stay with SpecInt. I can arrange it…"

I pulled into a parking lot, unable to drive and talk.

"Dad." I sighed. It was harder to tell him no. We'd been working closely together and I'd developed a better understanding of him.

"I need someone I can trust to keep Alice safe."

I could feel him pulling me in; Alice wasn't safe before. I pinched the bridge of my nose and fought the wave of emotion that threatened to overtake me. I was torn between Alice and Bella.

"What about Whitlock?" I suggested half-heartedly.

"Whitlock isn't family. I thought that we could trust James. He'd been with SpecInt for five years. If I can't trust him, then how can I trust Whitlock?" he asked.

Carlisle had a point. We didn't really know Whitlock.

"Make the arrangements," I sighed and disconnected the call.

Then, I thought about Bella. What had I done? After everything that Carlisle and I had just been through, could I really subject Bella to that? Could I sentence her to weeks of worry and sleepless nights? Could I risk my life knowing that I'd be leaving her alone if I died?

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do that to Bella, but Alice needed to be protected.

Someone would step in and be everything I couldn't for Bella. I knew that. Bella was too good to be alone. Jacob liked her, and I knew it. Maybe she was meant to be with him and not me?

I was already in town. I'd initially planned to go to her and hold her as tightly as I could, kissing her senseless among other things. My plans had changed with one phone call. I was going to find her and break things off.

It was six o'clock on a Saturday, she was probably downtown. I parked in a lot downtown and set out to find her. I felt my heart sinking like a stone. My stomach was tied up in knots. I walked up and down the streets, looking in windows. I figured that she would be having dinner. Bella kept a relatively regular schedule, dinner and then a concert every Friday and Saturday night, unless she was covering a story.

She favored a burger joint across from the Arch on Saturdays, claiming that The Grill was too busy. I knew that I should try there first, but I was stalling. The cold air seeped into my chest, making my heart colder and heavier. When I finally reached the restaurant, the one I should have tried first, she was there. I looked through the plate glass windows from across the street.

Bella sat at a table in front of the window with Jacob and a couple of guys I recognized as his friends. They all worked at local clubs. She threw her head back, laughing, and touched Jacob on the arm. Her fingers gently curved around his bicep in a familiar manner. Then she stamped her feet and released him.

I couldn't do it.

There was no way in hell that I was walking in there and breaking up with her.

Instead, I turned on my heel and went back to my car. Her apartment was on the other side of town. I decided to cut myself out of her life. If I was careful and surgically precise, then she didn't need to be bothered by me again. She had Jacob, and the guys, and work. She would be fine.

I let myself into the apartment and got to work. I loaded everything that could be connected to me into a trash bag from under her sink. I checked the entire apartment. I took my old BDU blouses back, even though they were useless.

When I was sure that I'd removed myself from her apartment, I wrote her a very carefully worded note. This was for the best. She was better off without me. I managed not to cry until I got back into my car. It was like I'd ripped my own heart in half. The bag of her things sat accusatorily in the passenger seat. I felt it staring at me until I grew numb.

The two hour drive home seemed endless.

I slept for an hour and then packed up everything that I wanted. I transferred Bella's things to a storage box and put it in the attic. After that, I closed up the house. I wouldn't be coming back for a long time, if ever. There was too much of her there.

I turned off my cell phone and rented a hotel room for the night. I would get a new number in Virginia.

A clean break...

There were no messy arguments or accusations. Bella could move on with her life. She would be better off with a guy she could count on for holidays and dinner at six.

**~V258~**

_3 February 2008_

The drive to Esme's house was long. I was exhausted by the time I got there. My phone was off. I turned it on once in North Carolina to give Esme my ETA. I braced myself, knowing that I would have an inbox filled with messages from Bella.

I couldn't check them or my resolve would crumble and I'd turn the car around. I was barely able to keep driving away as it was. My internal dialog was on overdrive trying to convince me that SpecInt wasn't that different from the Army, that I could have both, but my decision was made.

"Hello?" Esme answered.

"Hi, Esme, I'm a few hours out," I said.

"You'll be here for dinner, then?"

"Yes."

"Is Bella with you? I was thinking, I could make you dinner Tuesday and then make myself scarce."

"No, she's not with me," I answered.

"Edward," she scolded, "there's no excuse to postpone the inevitable. Your father's…"

"I'm not going to marry Bella," I interrupted.

"What?"

"Things didn't work out," I lied.

"Oh, Edward, I'm sorry."

"I'll be fine. It's better this way, Esme," I snapped.

"We'll have dinner when you get here." She sighed. She knew that talking to me when I was upset was pointless.

I disconnected the call, and nearly jumped when the phone immediately rang. I glanced at the screen:

SWAN, BELLA

I pulled to the shoulder on the interstate and watched the phone ring. I could have talked to her and end my torment. I could have argued with her, and made her glad to see me go. I could have crushed her spirit. I didn't answer the phone. I didn't decline the call either. I just watched it ring away in my hand until it went to voicemail. Then, I turned off the phone, and rested my forehead on the steering wheel for a moment. I'd either done the right thing, or completely ruined my life.

**~V258~**

_5 February 2008_

It was the day I'd planned on proposing, and I was sitting in Carlisle's office at SpecInt after hours, drinking. I had her ring in my hand. I'd forgotten about it when I closed the house. I tried to spin it but the diamond kept it from balancing properly. My bottle was empty. My father kept a bottle of scotch in his office. I liberated it and drank until I forgot how many times I'd refilled my glass.

I wanted to see Bella, to hear her voice. I stumbled down the hall, taking the bottle with me. I could see her if I wanted to, she was just a jump away. I was going to use one of the RV rooms and see her, because who the hell was there to stop me? No one.

I threw open the door to the gray room, closed the door behind me and settled into the chair. I knew exactly what her coordinates would be, 2-5-8, the day I was supposed to give her the ring that I slid onto the tip of my little finger. I assigned the numbers to her, knowing that it was permanent.

She was only a jump away. I leaned back, closed my eyes, and let the coordinates guide me. The world spun away. I flew and landed next to her. She was sitting at the back of a bar, alone. There were a few empty glasses in front of her. She signaled the waitress, who brought her another glass of some sort of mixed drink.

"You should slow down, Bella," the waitress said.

"Do you know what today is?" Bella slurred.

"Your anniversary."

"Yes, it's my damned anniversary! To hell with it all, I'm celebrating!"

"Bella, you're drunk. You should go home."

"That's just what he'd want," Bella sneered and held herself a bit more stiffly before using the lowest pitch she could muster to say "Go home and be safe, Bella. You should be more careful so I can spend a year getting your hopes up and then not deflowering you." She downed the drink without bothering to taste it. I could tell that she was too far gone. "Happy Anniversary!"

"I'm calling Jake," the waitress announced, walking away.

"I'm screwed," Bella groaned.

"I really do love you," I whispered, even though she couldn't hear me. "I wanted to marry you."

She snorted at nothing and then scrubbed at her face with her hands. "Stupid stupid man…"

"Forgive me?" I asked.

"Where does he get off? And he took all of my stuff," she babbled at the empty table.

"You deserve better," I said.

"Men suck!" she shouted.

"Amen!" a few girls on the other side of the bar shouted back.

"I am going to be a lesibian… no a lesbian… that's it… no more men! Who wants to be my girlfriend? Right here, ladies, I'm a catch… I'm pretty, low maintenance, and I cook, who wants me?" Bella shouted.

"Wrong bar!" one of the girls shouted.

"Damnit! I gotta find me a woman," Bella slurred and put her head down on the table.

I was too drunk to flagellate myself. Instead, I took solace in the fact that she was just as miserable as I was.

"I will always always love you," I whispered in her ear.

"To hell with you, Edward Cullen, and men in general," she said, and then burped.

She was heaving when Jake arrived. I followed them as he tucked her into his car, and took her home. I stayed while he tucked her into bed. I watched him brush her hair back from her face and place a trash can next to the bed. I noticed that he was holding back his frustration with her for drinking herself into a stupor.

"Stay," she whined at him.

"Bells," he protested.

"Everything is spinning and changing, the world is out of control, and I need something stable to hold onto. Hold me onto the world, Jake? Please?" she pleaded.

I watched jealously as he gave in and stripped down to his boxers and a shirt. He crawled into bed behind her. My heart lurched. He wrapped an arm around her. I wanted to hit him, and I tried, but when my fist connected I heard his thoughts. He loved her. He'd always love her, and he was worried. I was right, Jacob Black could take my place and give her everything I couldn't.

I'd seen enough, so I jumped back to my body. The rest of the bottle of scotch went down easily. I slept in the chair, and didn't even bother to pretend like I hadn't when morning came.

**~V258~**

_16 February 2008 Landstuhl, Germany_

The hotel phone rang. I was barely sober enough to answer it. From what I could tell, Bella was in equally bad shape. The temptation to jump to her was always there, lurking at the back of my mind. I was in Germany, trying to sleep off another night of drinking. Esme and I flew to meet Dad and Jasper a week after I moved. I could scrape myself together for a few hours to head to the hospital and worry about Alice, but as soon as I was free of my family I was nursing a drink.

I rolled and somehow managed to get the phone off the cradle and to my ear.

"You're an idiot. Get down here." It was Alice. She sounded groggy and pissed off.

It took me a moment to remember that they'd taken her off the medication that was keeping her in a coma.

"Okay," I groaned.

"…and shower!" she ordered.

"Okay." I hung up and rolled myself out of bed and stumbled into the shower.

Half an hour later I was sitting at Alice's bedside feeling very thankful that she wasn't up to hitting me.

"You've screwed up big time, buddy," she croaked.

"It's for the best."

"You're an idiot."

"You've said that already."

"It's still true," Alice said.

"Just this once, I need you to stay out of it," I pleaded. If Alice had any contact with Bella, then she'd end up pulled into our lives, and I needed to steer clear of her. I had to quit Bella like she was an addiction. I was a hopeless junkie.

"Edward…"

"No, Alice." This was the one issue on which I had no intention of budging. Alice could pout and prophesy doomsday all she wanted, but I wasn't going to change my mind. This was the best option for Bella.

"I don't know what you did, but you should be ashamed of yourself," she scolded me. "You have screwed up your future. It's like the universe is recalculating or something and I can't get anything on you or her."

"Sorry."

"Jackass," she dismissed me.

I slunk away with my tail between my legs.

**~V258~**

_10 May 2008 SpecInt office, Maryland_

I'd gone into stalker territory. I was a hopeless, lunatic of a stalker and Jasper helped me. He set me up with Mr. Jenks. Jenks could get me photographs of Bella, specifically of her graduation.

He was sitting in the stadium with a telephoto lens getting pictures as I twiddled my thumbs and pondered my current case. Carlisle had assigned me a few jumps for law enforcement. There was a missing person's case that stuck with me, a little girl. She looked like the pictures of Bella on the mantle at Charlie's house. Failure wasn't an option.

The second I jumped to her, I stayed for as long as I could. She was so scared. I drew sketch after sketch of the warehouse where she was kept. I read her kidnapper's mind. I read her mind. I wrote out every detail. Even after I submitted my report I kept jumping to sit with her, even though she'd never know I was there. I felt like someone needed to know her fear.

I would almost immediately jump to Bella after these sessions. She seemed well enough. She worked hard, as usual, she went to class, and she spent time with Jacob Black. Bella was okay. I'd done the right thing.

Jasper noticed what I was doing. He knew that I was spying on Bella and would monitor my time. I asked for the name of a PI under the guise that I would invade her privacy less that way. Jasper seemed satisfied with the solution.

My plan for the rest of the day was to look busy writing reports and check my inbox every five minutes for photos from Jenks. It'd been three months and I was still addicted to Bella Swan. I wondered how long it would take for the ache in my chest to dull. I needed to stop watching her all the time, but I wasn't sure I could ever stop.

* * *

**End Note:**

Gosh, I want to smack him. I'm fairly certain that this is the end of flashback Edward because we've reached the point that I don't want to be in his miserable head anymore. He may show up in present or future takes eventually, but this is it for him in 2008. (…Unless I HAVE to flash back for something, but I'm going to avoid it. He's really in a bad place.)

Okay, review response things that I should probably let everyone know:

Dates are important. When I provide one, it's for a reason, and since it's been so long since the prologue was posted, it might be a good idea to skim it. We're coming up on that moment soon.

A note on Intelligence work: Bella can still speak with her family and Jacob. She cannot tell them where she works or what she does for a living without express permission of the higher ups at SpecInt. They have to be "read in" so to speak. Unless she goes through that process, she has to lie. Bella's not a great liar, so she's most likely avoiding contact with everyone.

Thank you everyone, and welcome to those of you who are joining us from The Fictiontor's Teaser Mondays. Sometimes I tease, sometimes I don't.


	20. Chapter 19 Frustration

**A/n: **Okay, back to 2010 for a while. Thank you to loss4words for beta'ing.

* * *

**Bella**

_May 2010_

"Again?" He sighed, disappointed to see me.

We were in the meadow. He looked the same as last time, older, slightly shaggier and slightly grayer than I remembered him, and very tired. He took two steps toward me.

"I want to try something," he said. He was close enough that he could touch me. His arm slowly stretched out so that he could brush my cheek with his fingertips. I didn't realize that it was damp with tears until his fingers slid across. He closed the distance between us, and grabbed my hip with his other hand.

I felt the air rush out of my lungs when my body met his. I was suddenly very conscious of the fact that while I wasn't in my body, that my body was reacting, and I wasn't alone back at SpecInt. I was about to call for Rosalie when his lips touched mine.

He was warm, and hard, and Edward. His lips were never soft like Jacob's. He kissed firmly, with authority, like he knew exactly what he was doing and why. There was no hesitation; I followed him.

On some level I could hear Rosalie trying to talk me back into my body. I wasn't listening. Instead, I was absorbed in Edward. It was like we'd never been apart. I clutched him, and got more aggressive. He pulled away, even though I didn't make it easy for him.

"You're really here." He stared at me like he'd never seen me before.

Then, I was gone.

Rosalie and Emmett stood over me, backlit by the harsh fluorescent lighting overhead. My eyes adjusted enough that I could make out their expressions. They were worried. Emmett's jaw was tense and Rosalie seemed to be chewing the inside of her cheek.

"Oh thank Baby Jesus," Emmett muttered. Rosalie had the presence of mind to turn and look at him like he was stupid.

"Nice to see that you've rejoined us..." Rosalie offered me a hand and I took it. She pulled me easily to my feet, and guided me to my chair. Emmett's fingers deftly sought out the pulse in my wrist. After a few moments he nodded and released his grip.

"I'm fine, really I am," I protested, feeling like I'd been caught doing something inappropriate. They were acting like I'd jumped, but that couldn't be true. I'd just been kissing Edward.

"We have to get this under control." Rosalie grimaced.

As soon as I could walk steadily Rosalie and Emmett whisked me off to the RV room. Emmett hooked me up to a bio feedback machine. I was supposed to consciously try to relax and get my brain to a 'theta wave state.'

It wasn't happening.

Rosalie and Emmett took turns talking me through relaxation techniques followed by guided meditation. Nothing worked. I was too tense. Edward was invading my mind at every turn. The mere thought of him made me tense. I thought about that kiss. Just a kiss with an Edward my imagination conjured up was better than sex with Jacob.

I was pretty sure that wasn't Jake's fault either. I always felt like I was cheating on Edward with him, even though Edward was gone. I didn't think I was very good at _it_. I could fake enthusiasm kissing, but sex was a pretty hard sell. I'd given it to Jake because it seemed like the right thing to do. We were engaged. That's what engaged people do. It felt wrong every single time.

That kiss in the meadow felt right. It was perfect. I felt sexy, like I could really be someone who was into that kind of thing. I could totally be a sexual creature in my own imagination.

The beeping on the biofeedback machine had started speeding up again. That meant that I wasn't relaxed. I heard Rosalie sigh.

"It's been two hours," Emmett said, checking his watch. "Let's take a break."

Rosalie nodded and they removed the leads that connected me to the monitor. I sat up carefully and tried not to cry.

"I'm never going to get this, am I?"

"Never fear, Baby Bell, you will," Emmett attempted to reassure me.

"What am I cheese?"

_What am I Sprite?_

Where had that thought come from?

"Totally not cheese, 'the cheese stands alone.' You're not alone."

Rosalie was frustrated. She left the room quietly, making a point of not talking to me.

"I'm not so sure about that," I muttered.

"She's never trained anyone before. There's a learning curve for both of you." Emmett winked.

"So, why is she doing it?" I asked.

He motioned for me to move my legs, which had been stretched out on the chair. I carefully retracted them and shifted a bit. The RV chair reminded me of one of those chaise lounge like chairs made for old people. It moved up and down and there was a foot rest. Emmett sat where my feet had been.

"Carlisle is too busy, and the other guy who's experienced enough to offer training is currently on assignment. You didn't exactly come to us at a convenient time. Rose isn't the most experienced but she's the most personable of the viewers we have left," he explained.

"Rosalie is personable?"

"Believe it or not."

"Why did I take this job again?"

"You're going to do just fine, Bell. Trust me." He winked.

I rolled my eyes. We split up to go find snacks and take care of other necessities. I felt like I could still hear the stupid beeping of the biofeedback machine in my head. It was irritating. I downed a bottle of water and ate a few crackers from the vending machine.

The kitchen door opened behind me. I saw Ren set up at a table. The ends of her hair were more of a midnight blue. I got the feeling that she changed just that little bit of hair all the time. The bronze colored hair suddenly made sense, like a puzzle piece. I felt the knowledge click into place. Edward was her cousin. The undyed portion of her hair was the exact same color as his.

"Morning, Swan," she crooned.

"Hi there," I replied quietly. Part of me wanted to shrink away and not deal with her.

"I'm still trying to place your name." She sighed.

I could have helped her, but I didn't. Chances were that she knew me because of Edward. She'd seen my name or heard it from him.

"Let me know when you figure it out."

I returned to the RV room. Emmett reattached the leads and we went back to work.

I reached the 'theta wave state' once before lunch and it took Rosalie five minutes to talk me back down off the ceiling. We were both exhausted.

Jasper called us into his office. He liked to have lunch with his entire team at least once a week. I laid claim to the little box of General Tso's chicken before anyone else had a chance. Emmett pouted.

"How'd it go this morning?" Jasper asked.

I sighed.

Rosalie clenched her fists and released them a few times.

"We're making progress," Emmett lied.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Bella obviously feels differently," Jasper said.

"This isn't working," I said, passing my lunch to Emmett. I left the office to clear my head.

**~V258~**

**Jasper**

_May 2010 SpecInt Office, MD_

It was the first day and Rosalie was already prepared to throw in the towel. Normally, Rose was tenacious as the day is long; she wasn't one to give up. However, by ten in the morning she was darkening my door looking like the canary the cat swallowed. She was frustrated.

I held up my hand to try to stall her. Edward was on the phone and we were all under strict orders not to discuss Bella with Edward.

"This isn't going to work," she said.

"Is that Rosalie?" Edward said via speakerphone.

She was immediately chagrinned, and I could feel her self-esteem plummet.

"Everything's fine, Edward," Alice reassured him from the other side of my desk. My wife was ever the optimist.

"Sorry," Rosalie squeaked and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her.

"How's the new asset, Rose?" Edward asked.

"Pronouns," Alice mouthed.

"She's fine." Rose wasn't invested in the lie and it showed. I rolled my eyes at her.

"What's wrong with her? I've connected Tanya to the bombing in Atlanta, and I don't want to be dragged away from this."

"Just some minor difficulties, she's not relaxed enough to jump…"

"Well, run through some relaxation exercises with her for crap's sake!" he snapped.

"Will do," Rosalie said, making an obscene hand gesture at the phone. None of this was helping her emotional state.

"Alice, please keep a lookout for Tanya's next move? She's shielding her mind, so I'm flying blind unless she dreams about her plans." Edward said.

"Is that everything, Edward?" I asked, eager to get him off the phone. The boy was prickly and acted like he had a stick up his butt most of the time. In truth, I wasn't excited to work with him full time again. The self-loathing and depression were too much to put up with on a daily basis. I could only imagine what he'd be like having to see Bella every day.

"Yeah."

"We're still on schedule for you to return on June first?"

"I'll do my best," he grunted and hung up.

I killed the speaker phone, and looked at Rosalie.

"I've run through every relaxation technique I know." She sighed, defeated.

"You can do this, Rose," I said. "You just need to believe in yourself and in her. There has to be a way to get her to relax."

Rose sighed again, and left my office. She was feeling a little bit better, but not much. I turned back to Alice, whose usual exuberance wasn't present.

"Alice?"

"This is going to get a bit messy," she confessed.

"When is it not?" I chuckled. Sometimes all a man can do is laugh.

"Edward really screwed things up a couple of years ago and the universe is righting itself," she said.

"Okay…"

"Everything is still in flux, but I know one thing, and that's that we have to keep them both here." Alice looked fragile sitting in one of the oversized chairs in front of my desk. She pulled her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around them like a little girl. She felt guilty.

"It would have happened without your help, right darlin'?"

"Yeah, but I still feel like it's my fault."

"They're adults, Alice. They can handle it," I grinned at her, trying to improve her spirits.

"You don't know the whole story…"

"Listen, Ally darlin', I don't need the whole thing. I know you. I know that you would never hurt either of them intentionally. Maybe things are better this way?" I asked.

"Things were damned near perfect before." She sulked.

"Enough, Alice. You've said that there's a delicate balance to things, and that certain things happen for a reason. It's possible that this was the right path all along, and that things had to be turned ass over teakettle for a reason."

She fought a grin.

"Don't bother, darlin', remember, I'm an empath?"

"Trust me, Jas, that's something I never forget."

"Good, can we get back to work?"

She nodded.

I noticed that there were no more interruptions until lunch time. Alice and I were both reviewing Edward's files on Tanya, looking for any leads we could offer. My tactical expertise was more at work with this than my empathic ability. Alice was looking over data about Tanya's movements and periodically leaning her head back to try and force a vision. The best she was getting was a hunch one way or another.

Maggie buzzed me on the intercom when our food arrived. Ren brought it down to my office and snagged a container before running off to resume her hacking. Alice was very careful to make sure that her cousin had limited information about the situation with Bella. We weren't sure exactly how much contact she had with Edward. Our goal was to fly under her radar, which wouldn't be hard since Ren tended not to pry when it came to personal matters. If it didn't have a hard drive, she wasn't interested. Even so, I breathed a sigh of relief when she sauntered back out of my office.

"I know, I hate lying by omission too, but chances are that Ren hasn't given Bella a second thought," Alice sighed. "She's also Edward's favorite cousin. If she knows she'll tell him."

I nodded and called down to the RV room on the intercom.

"Lunch is here."

"We'll be up in a few. Bella's on the ceiling," Emmett responded quietly.

The three of them filed in a few minutes later. I could practically see a gloomy cloud looming over Bella and Rose. Emmett was slightly more optimistic. When I questioned them about their progress Bella became frustrated and handed her lunch to Emmett. She stormed out of my office and slammed the door.

Alice stood to follow her and I raised my hand to stop her. This was something that I needed to handle. Bella needed to understand that all of us were behind her, not just her best friend. I abandoned my lunch, knowing that Emmett would eat it and I would be stuck with a vending machine sandwich. I slipped into the hallway.

Bella was sitting slumped against the wall halfway down the hall with the weight of the world on her shoulders. The partially healed bruising on her face from the bombing made her look like she'd gone a few rounds in the boxing ring. I slid down the wall next to her.

"No one expects perfection on your first day," I said.

"I'm not looking for perfection, just some sort of control over this," she growled.

"We have faith in you. Alice wouldn't have insisted on her father flying down to Atlanta to offer you this job if you weren't able to do it," I said, trying to project a bit of calm at her to take the edge off. Strictly speaking, I tried not to manipulate emotions too much, but sometimes it needed to be done.

"I'm not sure if that makes it any better."

"You're in control of this," I told her, tapping her temple gently. "You just need to break down your walls and figure out how to relax."

"I'm not exactly a relaxed person," she snorted. "I'm used to running nonstop all day everyday so that I don't have to think about anything."

"That's not exactly healthy."

"You're telling me."

"I would offer to help you relax, but it won't benefit you in the long run. You've got to do it on your own."

"I'll try," she sighed.

"Tryin' and doin' aren't exactly similar. Do it," I said and reached out to ruffle her hair. She made a face and swatted my hand away.

"Fine, I'll _do_ it. It just might take me some time."

"Alright, now don't get discouraged by a little bit of a challenge."

She mock saluted me. I stood up and offered her a hand off the floor. The rest of lunch was quiet. Emmett reviewed my intel while Rose and Bella both tried to relax. There was something about the dynamic of the group that worked. Alice had been right about Bella being a good fit. I just hoped that Edward didn't screw things up too badly when he finally arrived.

* * *

**End Note:**

Okay, we should be cruising along in 2010 for a little while. Y'all are catching up to my finished chapters. Eep! O.O

I need a week on an island with no distractions.

Also, you all took last chapter better than I thought you would.


	21. Chapter 20 Charlie

**A/n: **Thanks to the amazing loss4words for betaing.

* * *

**Alice**

_SpecInt Office, Maryland May 2010_

"I can't do it," Bella shrieked from down the hall. It'd been a week and she still had difficulty relaxing. She was wound so tightly that I had been expecting her to snap. I could see it. This temper tantrum was going to be epic.

I didn't tell Jasper, but he could sense it. Bella and Rose had been working long hours. Emmett started physical training with Bella in the morning and her frustration with that was forcing the situation to come to a head. Emmett made her run and she was forced to stop because of her ribs. He looped back around to her and called her duckling, the nickname was sticking. Bella, being Bella, held in her anger and didn't confront him. It festered and her emotional state was rapidly reaching its boiling point. Jasper had felt her frazzled emotions all morning. It put him on edge.

Bella was capable of doing the job. She was going to be one of the best. Her good looks, charisma, and observant nature all made her an ideal fit for intelligence work. I'd never considered it before her injury, because she was so focused on the news that she'd never consider anything else. The skill set for developing and maintaining an asset was similar. She'd have to get people to talk to her, and people loved talking to Bella. Even without remote viewing she was useful.

Edward was an idiot. It had become clear to me over the course of the past two years that my brother really had no clue what she could do if given the resources and training. He'd convinced me to stop watching her future and not to contact her. Yet, here she was. Granted, she wasn't exactly thriving yet. It was going to be a long road before she got to the point where she could hold her own, but she was going to get there.

A door slammed down the hall.

"I'm going home," Bella announced from the doorway.

She wasn't.

"Come in and sit down," Jasper said, gesturing to a chair across from his desk.

"This isn't going to work. I'm going home to Forks." She flopped down in the chair and covered her face.

She most certainly wasn't going back to Forks.

"Bella," my husband chided. "It's only been a week. You're leaving the rodeo before you've even put on your hat."

"I don't think I own a hat," she sighed.

"You do, little sister, you do."

"Bella, you can do this," I said.

"You've seen it?" she asked.

I'd never really been clear with Bella about my gift but I hadn't hid it either. She'd always seemed to just know. Bella took it in stride.

"I've seen it," I confirmed.

She visibly relaxed.

"You just need to find a way to let go," I said. "You're trying to force it, and this needs to be finessed."

"I still don't think this is a good idea," she sighed. "How am I going to be a spy?"

"The same way the rest of us do it," Jasper drawled.

"I don't think it's going to work…"

"In all the time you've known me, what's the one rule?" I asked.

"Never bet against Alice?" she guessed.

"That's right." I nodded.

Bella nodded in return and plodded out of the office.

Jasper looked at me for a moment, waiting for Bella to be out of earshot.

"Are we gonna have a problem, darlin'?"

"You'll figure something out." I smiled.

"You know what I'm going to do?" He smirked.

"I know exactly what you're going to do?" I crossed the room and sat in front of him on the desk. I raised an eyebrow at him.

He returned the gesture.

"You're going to call Carlisle and get permission to read Bella's father in." I handed him the phone.

"You want me to read in Charlie Swan?" He took the phone cautiously.

"She's tense and homesick," I explained. "You can't call the fiancée, getting Edward involved right now would be complicated, and that leaves the one person she completely trusts – her dad."

"Are we sure she's engaged?" Jasper asked.

"There's a diamond on her left hand. It's small but it's there."

"It doesn't look like an engagement ring to me."

"Bella has a thing about money being spent on her. It wouldn't surprise me if Jacob Black had to talk her into a diamond chip."

"Her emotions aren't right, and she never talks about him," he argued.

"I'm Edward's sister. She's not going to bring him up in front of me."

"Okay." Jasper gave in temporarily.

The truth was that I wasn't sure that things were going well with Jacob. I didn't see her with him. When I closed my eyes and focused on her future, Bella was with Edward.

**~V258~**

**Bella**

_SpecInt Office, Maryland May 2010_

It was the middle of the day, and for the second day in a row Emmett had forced me to run to work, I still had vet wrap around my torso, my brain felt like I'd been smashing my skull against a wall, Ren Cullen was shadowing me, and Rosalie had already lost her patience. Rose and Emmett were in the supply closet rather loudly blowing off steam. Why did they think that was private? I'd threatened to quit the day before. Jasper and Alice didn't accept my resignation. To top it all off, Emmett was still calling me duckling.

I flopped into my desk chair, ignoring the fact that it creaked like it was about to break, and pulled out a stress ball. Instead of squeezing, I threw it at the wall. The ball bounced back and I repeated the process. The cheap cubicle walls made a satisfying _thump-thump_ sound. I threw the ball until I noticed that I was matching my rhythm to Emmett and Rose's door banging down the hall. Disgusted, I chucked the ball at the solid wall on the other side of the room. It thumped and dropped unceremoniously.

The fire door at the end of the hall opened. The unmistakable sound of combat boots announced Ren's arrival. She was rapidly becoming one of my least favorite people, mostly because the more I looked at her, the more Edward I saw in her. They had the same facial expressions, the same bronze hair, she shared all of the features that Carlisle didn't with my ex. She also kept trying to figure out why I looked familiar. It was a guessing game that I didn't care to play.

What was I supposed to say?

'Ren, you know me because I used to date your controlling, obnoxious, overbearing cousin. Maybe you've seen a picture or two?'

It was better to avoid the subject at all costs.

"Bella-roni!"

That was another reason to avoid her. Where did she come up with that nickname? What was it with people in this office needing to give me a freaking nickname. Baby Bell, duckling, Bella-roni… ugh…

"Ren," I acknowledged her through gritted teeth. She probably wasn't that bad. It was most likely the stress and lack of painkillers that made me short tempered when it came to her, but I still wanted her out of my cube.

She pulled a chair away from the wall and settled in on the other side of my desk, propping her feet next to my computer. Thus far, I'd only used the thing for e-mail, and I received very little of that. Just when I thought that I wasn't going to be spared another conversation with her, Alice appeared.

"Bella, Jasper wants to talk to you privately."

_Thank you!_

"I'll be right there. Sorry I can't hang out, Ren," I apologized, and walked to Jasper's office.

"No problemo. I'll just work on your computer a bit…" Ren said. I stopped with my hand on the door.

"Renesmee…" Alice warned.

"Fine," Ren whined.

"You know that you're only allowed to use _your _computer."

"But it's monitored…"

"Exactly."

Alice had Ren under control. I opened the door and slipped into the office. Jasper was waiting with his ear to the phone.

"C'mon in." He motioned me up to the desk. I wondered why he'd sent for me if he was going to be on the phone. "Your daddy is on the phone." I stared at him for a moment, completely dumbfounded.

"You called Charlie?" I whispered incredulously at Jasper as he quietly handed me the phone.

"I called your daddy." He smirked.

I took the receiver and covered it with my palm.

"What the hell?"

"You've been stormin' around the office like a five year old who's lost her dolly. I figured that your daddy could handle it."

"He knows?" I asked.

"I read him in as soon as he got to work this mornin'." Jasper nodded and left the office.

I stared at the phone. I could talk to Charlie and I didn't have to lie about my job.

"Dad?"

"Are you done arguing with your boss, Bells? If not, you can call me back later," Charlie said. I listened to the sounds in the background. He was in his office with the door open. I could hear the radio coming from dispatch and the creaking of his chair.

"I think I'm done."

"Good, now what's wrong over there in spook land?"

"Nothing, I just can't seem to do anything right. It's like my clumsiness has spilled over into the rest of my life," I explained. Jasper had a line of plastic army men encamped on his desk. I started moving them around.

"Bells," he sighed. "I don't know where you get the idea that you're not good at things. You're smart like your mother and practical, like your old man. There's not much you can't do."

"Dad…"

"Don't you 'Dad' me, young lady. I might be old and I might be across the country but I still know my daughter."

I didn't respond. Instead, I sat down and listened since Charlie wasn't normally inclined to be quite so verbose.

"You're not a teenager. Do you think we can cut the sulking?"

"I'm not sulking. I'm…"

"Sulking."

"Fine, I'm sulking," I conceded and flicked one of the little plastic men across the room.

"So… you're a spy now?" he asked. I could practically hear the skeptical expression on his face.

"Not exactly, I'm more like a spy in training. I'm supposed to report to The Farm to be trained by the CIA in a couple of months. Until I finish with that, I can't do any fieldwork."

"You're not working for the CIA though?"

"No, Dad."

"Good."

I held back a giggle at his reaction. The CIA ranked below the FBI and "the Feds" weren't high on his list, which left the CIA somewhere below pond scum.

"You're okay with this?" I asked.

"Would it change anything if I wasn't?"

"No."

"Then I supposed I'm okay with it. What are you telling Jacob?"

"About Jacob…"

"You dumped him, "Charlie guessed.

"Yeah." I twisted the phone cord around my finger, feeling guilty that I hadn't told Charlie.

"Listen, I might not be the relationship guru your mother is, but this job doesn't mean that you can't be with someone, Bells. You don't have to be lonely…"

"It has nothing to do with the job. We… things haven't been working for a while."

"I never thought he was right for you," Charlie confessed.

"Dad! Why did you let me get engaged to him?" I felt my mouth drop open.

"You're an adult. I figured that you could make your own decisions, and I like Jacob. He's a descent, stand up kind of guy. That Edward guy was a better fit for you, but that didn't seem to pan out. I thought that maybe Jacob was a good conciliation prize…"

"Dad!"

"Bells."

"I'm fine on my own," I asserted.

"I just don't want you to end up like me."

"Your life isn't bad, is it?"

"No, Bells, it's good. Sue Clearwater's been bringing me dinner on the weekends. I think she might be sweet on your old man."

"Sue Clearwater, huh?"

"She's nice, and she can cook almost as good as you."

"Almost, huh?" I giggled.

"She doesn't put butter in the potatoes… says it has too much fat."

My Dad had more of a social life than I did. That was sad.

"Good for her, someone needs to keep you healthy." I paused. "I'm fine on my own, dad, really. I don't need anybody."

"Do the job, but don't become the job," Charlie advised, suddenly serious.

"Okay," I agreed.

"You can do this. You're my daughter."

"Okay."

"I need to go, but I love you."

"I love you too, dad." I hung up the phone and glanced around Jasper's office. I needed to figure out where that little army man went. After a quick search I found him entangled in the mini blinds. I placed him back on the desk just in time for Jasper to return with a slightly disheveled Emmett and a flushed Rosalie.

Jasper motioned us all over to the little seating area with the couch where most of our important discussions occurred, including the daily lunchtime meetings. I took a seat on the couch between the lovebirds. Jasper chose to sit on the coffee table rather than one of the perfectly good chairs nearby.

"The three of you can make this work," he said. He radiated confidence, and for a moment I wondered if he was trying to affect our mood.

I nodded.

"Bella, this may take a few more concessions on your part."

My eyes snapped up to Jasper's. "Concessions? I'm already working out and going without pain relief. What else?"

"I'm taking you off caffeine and processed sugar," Emmett said.

"What?" I balked.

"You're too keyed up. I think that the caffeine is part of your issue."

"My morning cup of coffee is the only thing keeping you alive when you knock on my door at six am."

"Bella, you can't relax," Rosalie said. "We need to get you off of stimulants."

"Caffeine _and_ sugar?" I could hear my voice climbing.

"It'll help." Emmett reiterated. "Besides, you'll be healthier."

I opened my mouth to protest and Jasper gave me a look. He was going to tell me that I was, once again, behaving like an adolescent. I gritted my teeth and carefully relaxed my fingers.

"Fine," I sighed. It was going to be a long week.

"'Atta girl!" Jasper patted me on the head and dismissed us.

Instead of going back to the RV room, Emmett led me off to the gym. We stretched and meditated, then we ran home. Emmett followed me into my apartment.

"Cough it up, duckling."

"What?"

"The coffee, and the sweets."

"You're kidding me, right?" I whined.

"Sorry, duck face, it's all gotta go." He pulled a trash bag from under my kitchen sink and started going through my pantry. I watched him fill the bag, refusing to participate.

Duck face was possibly worse than duckling.

"I really really hate you," I said.

"Aw, ducks, that's just the crack talking." He placed a hand over his heart and looked wounded. "If you're a good girl, I'll bring you breakfast."

When he finished, my pantry and fridge were practically empty.

"We need to talk about the rest of this food here, duckling, but I don't want to leave you with nothing to eat."

"You've left me with rice, pasta, veggies, some take-out and a can of tuna!"

"Your salt intake is too high and I'm pretty sure that Chinese food has MSG…"

"Emmett."

"Fine, Bella."

I practically shoved him out the door before collapsing on the couch and debating as to how I was going to procure some contraband without him seeing it. Emmett's apartment was too close to mine, and not being able to drive, I either had to have food delivered or walk past his apartment with my grocery bags. I was totally screwed.

* * *

**End Note:**

One step closer to June 1st aka "D-day" aka "Holy-crap-you-work-here-too day"

Anyone up for occupying Emmett for a little while so that Bella can get some real food?

…Still no island. *sigh*

Until next week, dears!


	22. Chapter 21 Foolish

**A/n: **Thank you to loss4words, who painstakingly corrects the mess that I drop in her lap on an almost weekly basis.

Check the date and strap in it's going to be a bumpy ride.

* * *

**Bella**

_1 June 2010 SpecInt Headquarters Maryland_

The month of May nearly killed me. I was glad it was over, and I was pretty sure that Rosalie felt the same way. She could hand me off to whomever SpecInt had assigned as my new trainer. I'd been unable to squeeze the mystery trainer's identity out of anyone in the office, which was odd for me. I was accustomed to getting information out of anyone and everyone, especially things they were trying to hide.

The one thing that I'd benefited from during the month was physical training. I was bruised again from a tumble I'd taken during yoga, after which Emmett decided that martial arts might be a safer way for me to work on balance. He wanted me to start training with Jasper in June. The concept scared the crap out of me as Jasper was one of those guys who was graceful, but deadly. He was personable, and kind, and a great team leader, but I was unsure of how he'd be as a teacher.

I woke up early and ran to work ahead of Emmett. I was nervous because of the myriad of changes that June brought. I was out the door before six. I spent some time stretching in the gym, worked out a little, and took a shower before marching over to our building.

Jasper pulled me into his office as soon as I walked in the door, and handed me a cup of fake coffee. He was nervous too, which struck me as odd. I followed him in and took a seat next to Alice who had gently patted the couch next to her when I entered. Things were still rocky between us, but I was starting to trust her again.

"Good morning," she said softly. She was fidgeting in a most un-Alice-like manner.

"Um, morning?" I placed my cup of coffee substitute on the end table. I paused for a moment, waiting for Alice to reveal whatever was bothering her. She obviously wasn't going to speak up, so I took some initiative. I really hoped that I wasn't fired. "Sooo… my new RV trainer is supposed to report in today?" My voice sounded too chipper. I was overly nervous, because if this guy couldn't get through to me, then I as probably heading off to live with my dad.

The office door creaked open painfully slowly. I knew him the second the top of his head entered the room. He came through the door, head bowed almost in supplication, with a peace offering of a contraband box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts in his hand. When he looked up and our eyes met, I couldn't breathe. I wanted to vomit.

"Dear God, no." I barely managed not to cry. There had to be some sort of mistake. Edward just happened to stop by on the 1st of June, and he brought doughnuts because he felt sorry for being an ass. That was the only thing that could possibly make sense.

I was propelled to my feet by Alice, who somehow managed to get me across the room accepting the doughnuts. Edward grasped my free hand with his, and I felt like all of my worst nightmares had to be coming true. The familiar tingle shooting up my arm just from an innocent handshake informed me that I was still his if he wanted me, but it was the last thing that _I_ wanted.

He looked disdainful, and two steps from angry to see me. The large, air conditioned office was too small and too hot. We were too close even though the requisite three feet of personal space had been maintained. I was going to die of mortification and shock, definitely shock.

"Bella, I believe you know Edward Cullen. He'll be taking over your training…" I stopped listening to Jasper, and dropped not only Edward's hand but the box of doughnuts. The dull thud of thin cardboard on the floor caused Jasper to pause.

"Wait, you're my trainer?" I balked at Edward as he nodded. "I'd rather die."

Jasper surreptitiously slipped a bill into Edward's hand. Jasper shook his head and  
Edward smirked. I narrowed my eyes at the two of them. I should have seen this coming. I was a complete and utter fool not to realize that the entire Cullen clan, save Esme, worked for SpecInt. All of the whispers, and the tiptoeing around names… They'd all lied to me. Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper all knew that we were leading up to this moment. I was an idiot. I was a blind, stupid, foolish idiot, and every damned last member of the team knew it.

Alice's hand fell gently on my shoulder and I felt her breath on my ear. "Please just hear him out," she whispered. "You may not understand his reasons but he felt that they were justified."

"I told you that this wouldn't work," Edward mumbled to Jasper.

"Look, Bella, Edward here is the best we've got. I know part of your history, but you're going to have to work with the man," Jasper said quietly. His accent became more pronounced as he 'laid down the law'. "I will call your daddy," he threatened. The last thing I needed that week was another lecture from Charlie. Emmett had taken to calling him after breaking into my apartment and finding unhealthy food. Charlie couldn't say much about that, but he did nag me about being uncooperative.

"Fine," I grunted.

"Good, we'll meet in the conference room at 0820 and play nice in the sandbox," Jasper said.

I watched Alice and Jasper exit the room and rose to follow them. Edward moved to take my hand and I shrugged him off. I may be forced to work with him but there was no way I was going to let him back into my life in any other capacity. He'd left and the resulting heartache had been nearly too much to bear. I barely graduated from college on time.

"Bella," he pleaded.

"Let's just try to keep this professional."

"Professional," he said. "We can do that."

"Good," I responded, trying to keep my lower lip from quivering. If it started, then I would embarrass myself by crying. I had to be hard to get through this.

"You're going to have to trust me, at least to some extent."

"It's fine, Edward. It was years ago. I don't know why I reacted… I'm over you – us… It's dead and buried."

"Good," he said, trying to sound like he was convinced.

"We're good." I nodded a little too emphatically.

"Alright, can we sit down and discuss your training thus far?" He moved to the couch and indicated that we should sit. He perched on one of the arms and I sat in the opposite corner with my back straight. We turned to face each other and I noticed my own tension mirrored back in the way he held himself.

"It's been largely unsuccessful," I said.

"I've read your file."

"I figured as much…"

"Listen, I think the sugar thing is ridiculous." He sidestepped every important issue and went for my diet. I stared at him, stunned. "You can have it. Rosalie was grasping at straws and Emmett is a health nut." He smiled at me and indicated the box of doughnuts. Someone had moved it to the table. If Emmett had been around, I would have suspected him. "It's okay, Bella."

"Thank you," I said and dug out a chocolate glazed doughnut. I passed the package to him and he pulled out one for himself.

"Unfortunately, the coffee might have some merit. You can have one cup, or maybe some green tea. You shouldn't have to give up everything." He was eyeing my left hand. Grandma's ring was still on my finger. "Family is important, and I know this is hard on you. In the very least you should be allowed to eat and drink what you want within reason."

I nodded.

"Emmett says that you didn't do well with Yoga."

"It was a disaster."

The bastard was trying not to smile. "In lieu of Yoga, I'm adding meditation and Tai  
Chi to your schedule."

"My schedule?"

"We've got a lot of ground to cover. Carlisle would like to give you the extricated version of The Farm, rather than sending you for a full six months. He wants us to give you training in house, and have you take only the espionage specific modules there." He smiled, and I supposed that it was meant to be comforting, but it wasn't. My head was still reeling from the fact that he was here and I was going to have to work with him. "Our team has been put on limited duty in order to train you. I don't want you to feel pressure to perform, but we really need you to learn quickly so that we can get back to work full time. As is, most of us will be working overtime to prepare you. You have to put in the work."

"Of course," I said, slightly offended that he would dare to insinuate that I wasn't working hard enough.

"Bella," he chided, knowing my tone of voice. "I didn't mean…"

"Whatever." I shrugged.

"No, listen, I know you and that you tend to work yourself too hard. You take on too much, and you never seem to know what's good for you…"

I could feel the anger building in my chest. It was like steam building up without a release valve. "Can we skip the part where you use our past relationship issues against me?"

"That's not…"

"You're full of crap, Edward. I was driven, and you couldn't handle it."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," he growled. He stood and dropped his half-eaten doughnut into the trashcan. "I'll see you in the conference room in fifteen." He stormed out the door and slammed it behind him. A picture crashed down off the wall, shattering the glass.

I took a moment to collect myself.

_I will not cry. I will not cry._

Despite the fact that I had suggested that we be professional, I was pretty sure that I'd already broken that. How was I supposed to be professional when it came to him? Was I just supposed to ignore the fact that he'd ditched me without a word?

I felt the tears sliding down my face, and I was grateful for waterproof mascara. I sat there for a good long while, trying not to feel the panic and the rejection. No one came into the office. I was allowed the space I needed to gather what was left of my dignity.

Edward Cullen could cut me to the core without even thinking twice about it, and I was powerless to stop him.

**~V258~**

I spent a few minutes in Jasper's private bathroom, running a cool washcloth over my blotchy face. I reeled in my emotions.

_I'm not going to let him do this to me. I'm a strong woman. My self-esteem is not dependent on him. I have an associated press award for crap's sake._

Things were going to be different. There was no way that I would let him reel me into a romantic relationship again. I would deal with him being my trainer and directly in charge of me where work was concerned, but he was not walking back into my personal life.

My face was still a bit too blotchy to face everyone. I opened the top drawer of the vanity and found Alice's 'emergency' make-up kit. Thank goodness the woman never changed. The little bag held newer versions of the exact some contents it did in college, and our coloring was close enough that I could use it, so I did.

I took a good look in the mirror after putting on the American woman's version of war paint, and steeled myself to walk out the door. He didn't have to know that I was upset. I didn't think Jasper would tell him. Jasper, unlike Alice, seemed relatively adept at keeping other people's secrets. He wouldn't meddle. I was suddenly thankful that Alice was the clairvoyant, and Jasper was the empath. In my opinion, Alice's ethics were shaky – especially in light of our situation. She was in deep crap, because I could almost guarantee that keeping me in the dark had been her idea.

Jasper was waiting for me in the office.

"You got a handle on that?" he asked. He was talking about my emotions.

I nodded.

"Bella?" He sensed that I wasn't really ready. "I want to give you the opportunity to discuss this later. You should be able to vent that anger you're holdin' onto, but if you go off half-cocked during this meeting we're going to have a problem."

"It's fine, Jasper. I really shouldn't expect much else from the Cullens at this point," I said.

"If I thought for a minute that you'd be better off in anyone else's hands, then I wouldn't allow this. I'm not exactly kosher with putting your ex in a position of authority over you, and if you'd made sufficient progress with Rosalie, then I wouldn't. The fact of the matter is that you need… _we need_ his help." He sighed. "If it doesn't work with him, you'll either have to leave or I'll have to convince Carlisle to train you, and you don't want to work with Carlisle."

"Carlisle seems nice."

"Carlisle was asked to handle you with kid gloves. If you're his responsibility, he won't."

I took a deep breath and let it out. "So, those are my only options?"

"Eleazar has a couple of viewers on his team, but I wouldn't consider either of them to be competent to train."

"…and Dmitri?"

"Dmitri doesn't have a viewer. His team is more into the covert ops, cleanup, alternative negotiations, and conflict resolution aspects of the business rather than intelligence gathering."

"Conflict resolution?"

Jasper mimed firing a handgun.

"Oh."

"Yeah, _oh_. They're kind of a rough crowd. His three member team has only been with SpecInt for a couple of years, and most of us don't trust them. Carlisle refuses to give him access to a viewer."

"Why?"

"His predecessor lost Alice once. Carlisle has been careful about who he trusts with valuable assets ever since, and Dmitri is shady even for a conflict resolution specialist." Jasper didn't smile. He was dead serious. I was tempted to laugh at his term for assassin, but his tone told me not to take it lightly. "Are you okay to do this? I can try to push the meeting to the afternoon if you need the time."

"No. I don't want him to know…"

"No one would blame you…"

"I'm going to have to figure out how to handle him eventually anyway."

Jasper moved to the door and put his hand on the knob. "Got your hat on?"

"I do believe I have my hat."

"Let's rock this rodeo." He gave me a reassuring smile and led me down to the conference room.

In my month at SpecInt, we'd never used the conference room. Meetings were always held in Jasper's office, which had a cozy feel to it. The conference room wasn't cozy, it was professional, formal, and bland.

Everyone was already seated around the oblong table when we entered. Alice sat at one end with an empty seat for Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett were across from each other, and Edward was next to Rosalie. I slipped into the chair next to Emmett, and eyed the folder set out in front of my spot. Each of us had one, they were green and thick.

Edward and Jasper exchanged a look. Edward nodded and opened his folder. He looked directly at me for a moment, and I glared back at him. He shrugged it off.

"In front of each of you is a copy of Bella's new training plan and schedule. You will find that I've outlined what responsibilities each of us will take on as part of her training."

I flipped open the folder and looked at the schedule. Instead of spending the hours of 8-5 in the RV room, and mornings or evenings on physical training, my day was broken up among different activities. I could feel my eyebrows scrunching themselves together as I looked at it. Didn't I need more RV time, not less? I looked up and tilted my head slightly at Edward. My question was silent, but he understood.

"I feel that if we put less stress on the mental aspects of training that you'll be able to relax, and jumping will come more easily," he explained. I nodded.

It seemed that although Emmett was still in charge of the majority of my physical training, other team members would be taking over parts of the job. I'd already known that Jasper was to teach me martial arts, but Alice had been penciled in for etiquette and Rosalie had defensive driving provided that I regained my license. Then I noticed something unusual – dancing. Rosalie and Emmett were going to teach me how to dance?

"Dancing?" I asked.

"It helps with grace and balance," Emmett said. It went unspoken that I wasn't exactly graceful.

"You may find that it could come in handy if you ever have to gather intel the old fashioned way. People tend to loosen up in social situations," Rosalie added.

"Why is no one listed under firearms?" I asked, noticing the blank spot under 'instructor.'

"Any of us could really do that," Alice said.

"I wanted to see how things went before that decision was made," Edward explained. He was hesitant, like maybe he wanted to do it and wasn't sure if we should have so much contact. It was possibly a wise choice to wait and see how things went.

I nodded.

The new schedule was good. I didn't feel the need to question anything else. I had more free time, which I wasn't sure was a good thing, but all in all it seemed to break things down in a doable manner. I happened to notice that Edward had written in that Emmett no longer had free reign over my diet, for which I was exceedingly grateful.

We wrapped up the meeting, and I noticed that Edward and I were due in the gym for meditation time. I tried to rush out of there quickly. Jasper had apologized, but I didn't want to deal with anyone. My feelings were still hurt, and although this was a good working situation, I didn't feel like I could trust anyone.

"Bella?" Alice touched my arm and I pulled it back.

"Don't," I said.

"I know that you're angry…"

"Just shut up. I don't want to talk to you right now. We can work together but I'm not sure I can be your friend right now. Let's just be professionals."

"Alright," she sighed.

Edward had already left the room. I needed to get out of there and change clothes. I dug through my gym bag in the locker room and pulled out an abused pair of yoga pants and a loose T-shirt. The shirt was stained and holey. It was one of Jacobs from his days tending bar. If anything screamed 'unavailable' it was wearing another man's clothes.

I slipped into the spare clothes and met Edward in one of the smaller exercise rooms. There were a few in the gym. This one was designed for individual use. He'd dimmed the lights, and was seated in the floor waiting for me. I sat cross legged facing him.

"I just want you to try some basic meditation. We'll sit in quiet for the next half hour. Try to clear your mind, as a concern crosses it, dismiss it and let it go."

I nodded.

"Let's start."

I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on breathing. The problem was that I was too keyed up after having this latest bombshell dropped on me. Edward, my Edward, was sitting across from me. Only he wasn't my Edward. He'd now not been my Edward for longer than he had been.

Just as I cleared one memory from my brain and dismissed it another surfaced. One moment my mind was filled with hands and skin and fingers, the next was his smile. We had too much history, and too much of it was good, really good. Edward taught me a lot about intimacy even though we never actually managed to make it to intercourse. I knew what his body looked like. I could feel a scar under my fingertips. I remembered the way he would gasp…

"Bella?"

I opened my eyes.

"Let it go," he said, and passed me a tissue.

I looked at the neatly folded rectangle dangling between his fingertips and cocked my head at him.

"You're crying." He shifted uncomfortably.

My fingers slid across my cheeks. I stared at the moisture, like tears were a foreign substance.

"Huh." I took the tissue and wiped. My make-up smudged back off, and I decided that war paint was over rated.

"The exercise is to let go of what's bothering you, not dwell on it." He wasn't chastising me, just offering instruction, but I couldn't deal with it.

"No crap? Really?" I snapped.

"Bella…"

"I can grasp the concept of basic meditation, Edward. I've done it before."

"I'm trying to help."

I sighed, closed my eyes and tried again. Unfortunately, I was angry. Instead of meditating, I stewed. Who exactly did Edward think he was fooling? There he was sitting in front of me, acting all innocent – like nothing had happened – like he hadn't totally screwed me over. Oh, yes, 'Let it go, Bella.'

_Let it all freaking go. _

"_Well, you can go to hell." _I hadn't meant to say it.

"Did you say something?" he asked.

"No."

"It sounded like 'go to hell.'"

"I didn't say anything."

"Okay."

I tried to go back to the task at hand. It was really hard to clear my mind while wanting to shove his head through the wall. I started fidgeting with the cuff of my pants.

"Bella."

"Fine, I said that you could go to hell." I looked at him.

He nodded.

"I can't believe you want me to try and meditate now. This is an incredibly bad decision on your part." I folded my arms.

"Perhaps I scheduled this time because I knew it would be difficult."

"Perhaps you're an idiot." I honestly didn't know where that came from; the words flew out of my mouth.

"That was professional," he mumbled.

"I'm trying."

"This isn't easy for either of us."

I laughed at him. "Don't expect any sympathy from me."

"I don't."

He was letting my anger wash over him without pushing back at me, and it made me angry. I gritted my teeth. I wanted him to argue, to justify his behavior, to be an ass. He wasn't cooperating.

My final attempt at clearing my mind ended with a growl and me bolting out the door. I just couldn't be near him.

* * *

**End Note**

Sorry this is late, it's been a rough week. I'll be getting to review replies sometime soon, I promise.


	23. Chapter 22 Moving On

**A/n: **Thanks to loss4words for reading over this mess. I totally love her.

* * *

**Alice**

_1 June 2010 SpecInt Headquarters MD_

_What have I done?_

Bella was having a break down in the locker room. I couldn't help but think that I should have prepared her, but every time I decided to do it I saw her running. With the running came fate recalculating itself, and Bella and Edward finding each other in other ways. Sometimes the results weren't so bad. They'd meet ten years down the road. She would have a child from a failed marriage, but she and Edward would reacquaint themselves and get back together. Other futures were disastrous. In my least favorite version Bella was recruited by another organization. She never quite recovered from Edward leaving, and died in the line of duty. I could never get a clear fix on that particular future. Sometimes Bella was CIA, others, she worked with Tanya. In at least one of the Tanya versions Edward shot her. Regardless of setting, she was miserable.

The course we were currently on was the best in my opinion. I just couldn't see how we'd get through it. I had an image of them with their heads bowed together, smiling, and I couldn't shake it. I'd drawn it and a few images of him caressing her cheek. They looked intimate. I wanted that for both of them.

I went to the gym to see if I could help. The future was back to spinning again, and I felt like it might need a little nudge like knocking over a spinning coin.

Edward was standing outside the door of the women's locker room. His head was resting on the doorframe, arms folded across his chest. My brother looked defeated.

"This is not going to work," he mumbled. "I thought that maybe we could do this, but something like this… It's too much."

"Edward." I touched his shoulder. "This is going to be very hard for both of you, and yes it's going to be uncomfortable. Training someone like this… Well, she feels very vulnerable. Perhaps you shouldn't meditate with her? It's kind of intimate."

"Damn it, Alice. I really want it to be intimate. I want to hold her and touch her."

"She doesn't need that from you right now. She has a lover. She needs a mentor."

"I love her."

"I know."

"It hurts not to touch her."

"I know."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I hate you."

"I'm your little sister. On some level you've always hated me just as much as you love me." I grinned.

One corner of his mouth lifted and then dropped back down. I gently shoved him out of my way and marched into the locker room.

"Bella?"

"Go to hell, Alice." She blew her nose. I followed the sound of sniffling around the bank of lockers in the center of the room.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" she scoffed.

"Okay, maybe it's the wrong time for that apology. We could skip out and go have coffee."

She looked up at me, and stared like I'd just said something phenomenally stupid.

"You haven't had your one cup. We could hit a Starbucks and make it count."

"No boys."

"No boys. Who knows, maybe we'll go shopping."

"I hate shopping."

"You love shopping, you just don't like to admit it."

"What am I going to buy?" she asked.

"Nicer workout clothes," I said, taking in her thread bare outfit. Bella seemed to have two speeds when it came to fashion, sexy librarian and hobo. This was definitely hobo.

"This is comfortable." She looked down at her shirt.

"Only because you've broken it in a little too well."

"Let's go," she sighed.

"You're going to change first, right?"

"I suppose," she said.

I left her to change back into her librarian get up. Bella had this thing for knee length pencil skirts and simple blouses. It was new. In college she always wore a T-shirt and jeans or military surplus gear. I'd taken her to buy some clothes, but she didn't wear them very often. I was glad that she'd moved beyond the T's and jeans, but some variety would be nice.

Bella's lack of fashionable attire was the least of my worries. I had to find a way to get her and Edward together again. The last time was easy; I just put them in the same bar and walked away. This was significantly harder. They were both hurting. Taking Bella out of the situation for a few hours was the right thing to do.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Jasper.

"Darlin'?"

"I'm taking Bella out for coffee."

"Do you think that's wise? She has a lot of training…"

"She's a basket case. Let me get her a coffee, buy her some shoes, and bring her back in the afternoon to try again."

"Alice…"

"Please, Jasper just let me try to smooth it over."

"Alright, have her back for lunch."

"Yes, sir."

He hung up with a heavy sigh. I think that that's the closest my husband had ever been to doubting me. He could see it all falling apart, and so could I. We were following breadcrumbs though the forest trying to beat the birds. I knew that he would go to Edward and work on the situation from that end.

"This doesn't mean that I forgive you," Bella said as she stepped into the hallway.

"I never suggested that," I said.

"…Just making sure."

**~V258~**

By noon I had Bella caffeinated and in a much better mood. I coaxed her into buying some respectable looking exercise clothes. Danskin was my friend. We didn't have time to hit any high end shops, for which I'm sure she was grateful. At least she wouldn't look like a hobo.

Jasper had lunch laid out for everyone in his office. There was a stack of sandwiches from Edward's favorite shop on the coffee table.

"Grab what you want now," I told Bella. "Emmett's going to eat more than his fair share, and Edward will go for the roast beef."

"He'll have to fight me for it." Bella grinned and grabbed a sandwich wrapped in paper and marked 'RB.' "Now that Emmett's not going to be on my case, I don't have to eat turkey."

"He never said you couldn't have red meat," Jasper said.

"No, but he stared at me every time I ate it."

"He did," I snickered.

"He gave me that look!"

"The disapproving glare," I said.

"Yes! The patented 'Emmett disapproves of your food choices' glare." She giggled. "I get it all the time. This from a man who eats Chinese food that's probably loaded with MSG..."

"Who's eating MSG?" Emmett boomed from the doorway.

"You, most likely," Jasper said.

Emmett cocked his head to the side, and looked at my husband.

"General Tso's chicken," Bella said. "It's got to be loaded with the stuff."

"I make exceptions for the good general." Emmett plopped down on the couch next to Bella, and began to rummage through the sandwiches. "You know you've got Edward's Roast Beef."

"He has my dignity; it's hardly a fair trade."

"I heard that things went badly," Emmett said.

"Speaking of which, you're all in deep crap. Alice is only in my good graces because she took me for coffee," Bella said, pointing a finger at Emmett and then Jasper.

"_I_ was following orders." Emmett held up his hands in surrender, each holding a sandwich.

"I trusted you."

"I'm sorry, Ducks."

Bella grimaced.

"I was between a rock and a hard place," Jasper announced.

She rolled her eyes. "How exactly am I supposed to trust any of you?"

"You're going to have to reconcile that for yourself, but we had your best interest at heart," Jasper said.

"News flash, I'm an adult. I've had enough of people making decisions like they know what's best for me, especially when it comes to Edward. I'm a big girl; I can handle the truth."

My brother was opening the door as she finished. His face was completely unreadable, so I didn't know whether or not he'd heard her. I glanced at Jasper and caught him letting out his breath like he'd been holding it. Edward had caught it, and was trying to be polite.

Edward pulled my computer chair over from my unused desk, and sat down backwards in it. He looked through the sandwiches, and came up with a ham and swiss. He eyed Bella.

**~V258~**

**Bella**

_1 June 2010 SpecInt Headquarters MD_

Yes, I took his sandwich. It was childish, but I really did like roast beef, and on some level I felt like I was entitled to make his life a little less comfortable. He looked at me, and he knew that I wasn't going to let him have it.

He seemed to be asking me to give it to him without wanting to actually ask.

I raised my eyebrows. _Not a chance in hell, Edward._

He hung his head, and put the ham and swiss back to look for something else. He hated swiss cheese. Eventually, Emmett traded him one of his _three_ sandwiches. We ate in silence. When Rose finally joined us, there was one tuna salad sandwich left. She pursed her lips, but took it anyway. She dropped a manila folder onto the empty tray as she sat down next to Emmett.

"Pig," she mumbled at him.

"I was hungry," Emmett said.

"This is why we never get sandwiches," Alice practically sang. I wanted to be annoyed by her exuberance but I wasn't. She was worming her way back into my life in the way that only she could.

"Did anyone save me some chips?"

"In my desk," Jasper said.

Rosalie batted her eyelashes and Emmett got up to get them for her. They might not have wanted to admit that they were in a relationship, but they were. There was no denying it.

"Is that for me?" Jasper asked, indicating the folder.

"Yep, and it's no more useful than the one Edward gave you two hours ago," Rosalie sighed.

"What is it?" I asked.

"RV reports, Edward and Rosalie are tracking a moving target," Jasper explained.

"Unsuccessfully, I might add," said Rose.

I nodded, and started to dust the chip crumbs off my fingers with a napkin.

"Are you ready to get back to work?" Edward asked. This was the first thing he'd actually said since he entered the room. He'd sat, silently brooding through the meal.

I hesitated.

"We were supposed to be in the RV room at ten. I rearranged my schedule," he snapped.

"Fine, Edward, just give me a few minutes."

"Meet me there in five," he said and left without acknowledging anyone.

"Five minutes," I confirmed and got up to use the restroom. If he was half as persistent as Rosalie then a session could take all afternoon. It wasn't scheduled for that long, but I was fairly certain that we'd already ditched the schedule.

Five minutes later I stepped into the RV room. Edward was waiting, sitting on the stool. He stood when I entered.

"I wanted to apologize for this morning. Meditation was the wrong way to start." He paused. "We can do this."

Damn, he was moody. How was I supposed to relax when he was giving me emotional whiplash all the time?

I nodded and sat down in the RV chair. I leaned back and started attaching the biofeedback machine.

"Bella?"

I stopped and looked up at him. He moved his stool so that he could sit next to me.

"What?" I asked.

"We need to talk before we get started."

"Edward…"

"I'm sorry," he said.

"You've already apologized. The meditation thing wasn't that big of a deal. I was just shocked and I wasn't ready…"

"…not about this morning. Bella, I'm sorry for the way I left you."

Suddenly, it was like I couldn't breathe. I was exhaling and I should have been inhaling, and staring at him. He was apologizing for leaving. I couldn't process it.

"Breathe," he said.

When I pulled in a lungful of air I felt a bit dizzy.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I managed to say.

"I felt like I needed to clear the air." He looked down at his hands, which were clasped together in his lap. "It was the wrong thing to do. I should have talked to you, but I was afraid that you'd change my mind."

"Edward…"

"I was stupid," he said. "I just want a chance to start over."

"Start over?"

"I want to be your friend, and possibly your mentor. There's a lot for you to learn, and I want you to be able to come to me when you need help. I can be there for you."

"You want a clean slate?"

"If you'll grant me one…"

"Edward, I don't think that slate will ever be clean," I admitted. "I'll try to trust you, but I can't promise to feel comfortable coming to you. There's too much history here."

We both grimaced.

"I'll take whatever you can give me, and if you don't want to do this I can ask Carlisle to step in and train you."

"Jasper said that he's hard."

"Jasper's right. He'll push you to your breaking point and expect the impossible at every turn. It's just the way he works."

"That doesn't sound very appealing."

"We could try this." He took my hand, and I fought a surge of emotion.

We sat in silence for a few moments. I selfishly wanted him around, but I was going to have to be careful about falling back into a relationship with him. It would be too easy just to slip back into our roles, especially since it never really felt like we were equal and there he was actually in charge of me. I thought I could do it.

"Let's try," I whispered.

He smiled at me. "Okay."

"Okay."

He helped me hook up the leads from the machine, and I ignored the fluttering in my stomach. We were both smiling like we'd won something. The entire situation was crazy.

"I want you to focus more on what you're feeling than on the machine, so I've cut off the sound. I'll still be able to see the lights," he said. "You should feel something different, kind of like a radio station buzzing at the back of your mind. I want you to tune into it."

I thought about what he was saying and tried to find it. I really couldn't feel anything.

"Relax and breathe," he whispered.

I did, and it was odd but I kind of felt it. There was a fuzzy sort of feeling at the back of my skull. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on it.

"Let it take over."

I was in and spinning.

"You need a safe place, a sanctuary," he said.

I felt myself drop down and land. I was in the meadow, the one I'd been in with him a couple of times.

"Are you there?"

"Yes," I said.

"Good girl. Now, to practice I want you to walk around your sanctuary and tell me about it."

I launched into a fairly descriptive inventory of the space. I could hear Edward moving back in the RV room. He pressed a pencil into my hand and asked me to draw it. I didn't feel like I had the skill but I tried. It was funny because I felt like I was tracing the scenery with the pencil. I finished drawing the creek than ran nearby when I heard a gasp. Within seconds, Edward was next to me.

"This is my space," he said.

"Yours?"

"It's a recreation of a meadow near Esme's parent's house. How?"

"I've been here before," I said.

"With me," he said. "You've been here in the ether with me."

* * *

**End Note:**

My computer is on crack. I've already typed this out once so here it goes again:

I forgot to tease this week, and I had a section picked out. I was going to go with the thing about stealing Edward's sandwich. Oh, well…

Congratualtions to the anonymous reviewer who just had a baby. Hang in there, I know postpartum sucks. I always end up drinking lemon balm and fenugreek tea for months. We're with ya. *hugs* Smiles are coming soon!

I'm still in complete and utter turmoil over here. We've made some major lifestyle and job changes over here in the Doc/Kat household, and it's going to take time to adjust.

Okay, business (this is fallout from the aforementioned changes): We're going to have a week or two of lag coming up pretty soon. There will be an EPOV before this happens. SORRY! I love y'all but unless I figure out a way to write and jog at the same time, this is unavoidable.


	24. Chapter 23 Rage

**A/n **Thank you to loss4words for getting to theis so quickly and diligently correcting my flubs. I don't know what I'd do without her.

Sorry for the delay, but here it is!

* * *

**Edward**

_1 June 2010 SpecInt Headquarters, MD_

I was a phenomenally large idiot. How could I possibly have been so stupid? My inability to put two and two together had suddenly been thrown in my face. It was like a bucket of cold water over my head and down my back. It was like getting shot.

There was a moment in which I watched her face in slow motion. Everything was fine when the words left my mouth. I scrambled for a moment because it was like a misfire, but oh so like a bullet leaving a gun - the words were out there.

It started with her eyes, the confusion gave way to realization. Her eyebrows scrunched together and then raised. Her eyes darted around for a fraction of a second and then, hardened. She pressed her lips into a thin line, stomped her foot, and disappeared.

I pulled out of the ether, and sat up from the desk. Bella was sitting up in her chair ripping the leads off of her skin.

"Bella…"

"You bastard!" she shouted at me.

"I didn't…"

"You obnoxious, irritating, bastard! You knew! You dammed well knew!" She'd disconnected herself from the machine but was still tangled in wires.

"Please, let me…"

"Let you what? Explain? You're going to explain this to me?" She raised an eyebrow.

"It was an accident!" I shouted back at her.

"Really?" she scoffed. "I clearly remember you saying that you wanted to try something."

"Okay, accident is the wrong word," I back peddled.

"You're damn right it's the wrong word!"

She was so hot when she was mad. How had I missed that before? Of course we never really argued before. I couldn't decide if I wanted to defend myself or try kissing her again. It was a stupid thought. I needed to get control of the situation, before she told everyone that I'd kissed her. I decided to tell her the truth.

"I didn't think you were real."

She didn't believe me. Her lower lip quirked slightly to one side and her eyebrows drew down and together.

"No, Bella, I need you to listen to me," I said, holding my hands up like a shield. She folded her arms, and re-situated herself on the chair in a defensive posture. "You'd shown up there before. I knew you were injured, but not that you were a Remote Viewer. I was worried about you, and I thought that my mind had conjured you up as a coping mechanism."

"How did you know?"

"Know what?" I cocked my head to the side.

"That I was injured in the bombing. How did you know?"

_Oh, crap._

How the hell was I going to explain that? I knew because Jenks sent me photos. I knew because I jumped back in time and sat next to her on the banquet hall floor. I knew because I followed her to the ER to make sure that what Jenks sent me was accurate. Jenks had sent me a news clip too.

"You were on the news," I said, hoping that I hadn't taken too long to say it. I'd tried to be very good and give her space. She didn't need me jumping in and watching her all the time, especially after she and Jake got together. I'd gone to relying only on what Jenks gave me until that night. Even then, I'd behaved. I only stayed long enough to make sure she was okay.

"Damn reporters," she mumbled.

"You were one of those not too long ago." I smiled, because it's what I was supposed to do. I really didn't feel like it. I felt dirty for having spied on her, and dirtier for lying.

"I can't deal with this," she said. "I'm going to pretend like it never happened."

I folded my arms and studied her for a moment. "You want to pretend like it never happened."

"Exactly," she said.

"Okay." I really didn't know what to do next. We stood there in the complete and utter awkwardness of the moment. I wasn't nearly stupid enough to assume that all would be well from there on out, but I didn't want to tempt fate by saying anything.

Bella stared at her hands. I shifted my weight back and forth. Neither of us wanted to say anything else. It was the ultimate stalemate of social awkwardness.

"Do you want to go again?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, let's get you set up."

We reconnected the biofeedback machine, and she leaned back into the chair. She slipped into the theta wave state and went to her sanctuary without prompting. Very soon the machine wouldn't be necessary. I marveled at the fact that she couldn't do it with Rosalie. I couldn't understand why. I gave her instructions and took notes while she explored her sanctuary. That was another puzzle. Why did we share the same space? I'd never heard of that happening. From time to time a trainer had dropped in on a viewer in his or her sanctuary, but no one had ever shared one. I wanted to talk to my father about it, but I also didn't want to draw attention to our former relationship.

The last person I'd been involved with was Tanya, and I'd trained her. Tanya and I didn't share a sanctuary.

Tanya.

I didn't really want to think about her. She was still out there causing trouble, and most likely trying to sell our information. From what I could tell she'd gone freelance. There didn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to her location or who she provided with intell. The terrorist attack in Atlanta had been planned with her help; however, the group that took responsibility didn't seem to be her cup of tea. They were Islamic, and she wasn't. Maybe she was just an opportunist?

If I hadn't been focusing on Bella, I would have jumped.

I watched her draw. Bella captured the landscape perfectly. It was so clear that when she began to draw it the first time, I recognized it instantly. I had to talk to her about it, because at that moment I knew that I hadn't made up her appearance. I'd fooled myself into believing that she was a figment of my imagination before, and that I hadn't actually kissed her. However, there was no other way that she would have seen that particular meadow.

Why did we share it? It made no sense. I chose that particular meadow because it was a quiet safe haven for me and Alice in our early teens. When my dad first realized I could jump, and trained me to control it, I was still a teenager, and that was the place I thought of first. It was the one place where I felt at peace. Maybe Bella ended up there because I was there the first time she jumped involuntarily. I'd met her twice, and both times she was as confused as I was.

There were too many things I could read into the situation, and I didn't want to make assumptions. She was wearing a diamond ring on her left hand. I reminded myself again that my place was not by her side.

"It's time to come back," I said softly, being careful not to startle her. "Do you need help?"

"I think I can manage," she said.

I watched the machine register her changing brainwaves. Her eyes fluttered and she opened them, looking right at me. Eye contact with her felt intimate. She'd always been able to make me feel exposed with just a look.

I wanted her. I was certain that I always would.

Bella blinked and I started helping her detach the wires. They were still a bit tangled from earlier.

"You probably won't need this much longer," I informed her.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"It's just a training tool, and you aren't really using it. After I send you on a successful coordinate jump or two, then we shouldn't need it."

"Good."

"It's about three, and you've made excellent progress today. Do you want to knock off a bit early?"

"Early? What's that?" she laughed.

It had been a hard couple of months for her. She looked like she needed rest.

"I could drive you home," I offered. I tried to make eye contact with her, but she avoided it.

"I should run," she said, and pushed herself up off the chair. Her feet touched the floor and she straightened her skirt. I reached out and touched her hand.

"How are you going to run with a bag of new clothes?"

"Alice can bring them by later."

"Bella, it's just a ride. I'm not asking to come inside."

"Edward…"

"Okay," I said.

She left me sitting there, trying to figure out what just happened.

**Bella**

_1 June 2010 Bethesda, MD_

I lied. I didn't run home. Rose drove me in her little red BMW. I learned that Emmett and I were probably the only members of the team not benefiting from old money. Rosalie had recently received her trust fund, hence the car and the nice town house. I was kind of tuning her out when we reached the apartment complex.

"What do you think?" she asked.

"About what?" I shook my head to clear it.

"Girl's night out, Friday. You weren't paying attention." She snickered.

"Sorry," I replied. "Who would be going?"

"You, me, Kate, maybe Alice if she can unglue herself from Jasper's side long enough. I was going to ask Carmen too…"

"I don't know, Rose…"

"Come on, Bella, you've been here a month and you haven't gone out once."

"I've gone out!"

She looked at me skeptically.

"Okay, fine, I've only been out for dinner and groceries, and mostly with Emmett in tow," I admitted.

"We'll cut out early, get dolled up, and head into DC…"

"Yeah, okay?" I cringed because it sounded like a question and that was one of Rosalie's pet peeves.

"I'm ignoring that," she said. "Now, get out of my car." She grinned playfully and swatted at my shoulder and then my butt as I got out. She'd peeled out of the parking lot and was down the street before I made it to my door. She and Emmett were made for each other.

My apartment was quiet, as always. There was a message on my machine from my mom, asking me to call. I really didn't want to talk to her. I'd hardly talked to anyone since the move. Lying was complicated and I didn't know what to say to them about the new job, or 'therapy.' My apartment was the only thing I could really talk to anyone about, and I'd already exhausted that topic with both Renee and Ang.

I booted up my laptop and found a message from Jake. I deleted it without bothering to open it. It was the coward's way out, but I really couldn't stand to hear him apologize and beg to come visit. He'd want to patch things up and I really wasn't sure if I could do that. I didn't want a romantic relationship, and I was pretty sure that he couldn't separate our friendship from that. I needed time. He needed time.

Edward had exhausted me both physically with training and mentally with … well with everything.

I felt like I needed to talk it out, but my only option was Charlie. I didn't want to think of how Charlie would react. He would either be level headed and encourage me to work with Edward like a rational human being, or he would board the next flight to DC just to shoot him. Either way, he wasn't going to listen to me whine about the situation.

Alice was just too close to the whole thing. She had made it blatantly clear whose side she was on, and one morning of coffee and shopping did not make up for the crap she'd just pulled.

Rose probably didn't want to hear it.

Ren was a bit obnoxious, and also related to Edward.

That left Emmett, who was still at work.

I opted to take a nap.

In general, naps tend to make things better. Most of life looks better on the other side of a bit of sleep. I had the strangest dreams and slept though until morning.

**~V258~**

_2 June 2010 Bethesda MD_

Emmett was on my doorstep at six in the morning. I opened the door and stared at him with groggy eyes. He looked me over for a moment and then pulled me in for a hug.

"Aww, Ducks, you look like hell."

"Thanks, Emmett," I muttered into his shoulder.

"Listen, I know that yesterday was hard, but this is totally doable. People work with their exes all the time. It just tends to be a bit awkward," he rambled.

I pulled out of his embrace and led him into the apartment. I had a box of muesli in my kitchen that he'd insisted was healthier than granola. I shook it at him and he nodded. I poured the cereal, and he grabbed the yogurt from my fridge.

"This is beyond your regular brand of awkward, Emmett."

"I've seen plenty of awkward, duckling."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"He kissed me."

Emmett's eyes nearly bugged out of his head and he dropped our spoons.

"Weeks ago," I amended.

"How?" he asked after he'd straightened up. "When was the last time you mopped?" He was staring at the spoons.

"We should be fine." I took my spoon and dumped yogurt into the bowls. "That first day, when I fell over in the office..." I started to eat at the counter, but Emmett steered me over to the table. "I jumped into his sanctuary. Neither of us was really sure what was going on and we kissed."

"You just kissed? Like, 'hi, how are you?' peck on the cheek, or did you really kiss?"

"He said he wanted to try something and then he pulled me in for a real kiss." I was trying to act nonchalant but that was the last thing I was feeling.

"Damn."

"Yeah, well it gets worse," I huffed. "We share a sanctuary."

"What?"

"My safe, happy place is his safe, happy place, or the other way around. It was probably his first."

"That's deep." Emmett was trying to be sympathetic around a mouth full of muesli.

"It's beyond uncomfortable. He offered to drive me home yesterday, and I just couldn't let him."

"So, this kiss…"

"Emmett…"

"No, this is important." He swallowed and looked at me. "Did you talk about it? I mean, how exactly does that happen?"

I sighed. "Okay, I jumped into his sanctuary – our sanctuary – and neither of us realized the other was real. He kissed me and then said something about me being real, and I jumped back to my body."

"…and neither of you thought this was odd?"

"I have crazy vivid dreams all the time. I thought maybe he was a hallucination or something."

"Do you often hallucinate?"

"No."

"Okay."

"Emmett," I groaned.

"The two of you just have some crazy mojo," he said. "I mean, it's like you both still…"

"We both still what?"

"Nothing, Bella, it's nothing. We should get to work." Emmett took our empty bowls to the sink. I grabbed my backpack with my work clothes and we left. He ran too fast for me to try and make conversation with him. I was certain that was intentional.

Jasper met us at the door. "Don't bother changing," he said.

I followed Jasper to the large exercise room.

"Did you stretch?" he asked.

"Yeah, "I said. My voice shook.

"Bella, are you scared?" Jasper asked. He seemed amused.

"Yeah, a little."

"I suppose that answers my question about your experience with martial arts." He grinned at me.

"Absolutely none," I said.

"Don't worry so much. This is going to be fun. For right now, do what I do."

Jasper slid one leg to the side and bent his knees, dropping down like he was sitting without a chair. I tried to imitate him, but he shook his head.

"Back straight, bend your knees a bit more… This is called horse stance."

I sunk down a bit lower and felt my thighs start to burn.

"That's it. We're going to practice punching. Make a fist for me."

I made a fist and showed it to him, somewhat weakly. Jasper raised both of his eyebrows. He stood up and stepped closer to look at my fist.

"Well, at least your thumb's on the outside, which tells me that you might have some clue about how to throw a punch. Watch me in the mirror."

I nodded and he dropped into horse stance next to me. He held his arms close to his sides, hands shaped into fists near his waist. His right arm shot forward and straight in front of him in a fierce punch aimed at his own nose in the mirror. His arms quickly switched positions, I noticed a slight twist to his torso, and that he shifted his weight.

"You try."

My attempt was fairly weak. My thighs and butt were feeling the strain of holding horse stance, and my punch came off rather lack-luster. Jasper demonstrated again, his arms twisted in the air. I shifted my weight and twisted a little just like he did. I managed to put a little more force into it.

"Exhale on the punch."

It was then that I noticed the little 'huh' sound that Jasper made when he punched, like the force he was exerting pushed the air from his lungs. I tried it, and managed to look a little more intimidating.

He let me try a few more times before standing up and getting a couple of round pads off the floor. I took the opportunity to straighten my legs, and stretch. I was going to be very sore by the end of the day. Jasper smirked as he stood in front of me. He held up one of the pads, and I noticed Edward's picture on it. I smirked back.

"When I think you're ready, I'll let you really hit him."

I laughed and squatted back down. Jasper offered a pad for me to hit, and suddenly I was putting a lot of force behind it. We stopped when I was covered with a fresh layer of sweat, and Jasper grabbed his shoulder. He rolled it back, and stretched. I bent down, resting my head on my straight legs, feeling the pull in my fatigued muscles.

I peeked at the clock and noticed that it was eight thirty.

"Are we done?" I asked.

"Are you tired already?"

"No," I lied.

"You have got to improve your poker face, Bella. No, we're not done. I have you for another half hour."

Jasper taught me how to throw a side kick, and a round house. He switched to some larger pads, and had me kick them. By the time we finished I was aching everywhere. Jasper didn't look tired at all. He made a show of teaching me how to bow at the end of the lesson.

"Good job, Bella." He clapped a hand on my back and I nearly fell over.

"Thanks," I sighed.

"I mean it, pretty soon I'll have you sparing, and when I think you have a shot at kicking Edward's butt, I'll let you do it."

I nodded and made my way to the women's locker room. There was a note taped to the door in Edward's handwriting. He wanted me to meditate on my own for an hour after getting cleaned up. I had two hours before I needed to report to the office according to the schedule he provided. I grinned and decided to use the hot tub before moving on with my day.

* * *

**End Note:**

Thanks to everyone for being patient. I hope that this was worth the wait. I'm scrambling to fill in some blanks and avoid that future delay I told y'all about, but it might happen, so don't worry.


	25. Chapter 24 Spite

**A/n:** Thanks to loss4wordsfor beta'ing!

* * *

**Emmett**

_3 June 2010 SpecInt Headquarters_

I watched them through the one way mirror in the observation room. Bella still had feelings for Edward, and I knew damned good and well that he loved her. He was never as gentle and understanding with Tanya as he was with Duckling.

He gave her an extra hour in her schedule on Wednesday after martial arts. When I asked him about it, he said that she looked like she needed a break. I think I stared at him a little too long, because he started to squirm. He never gave Tanya free time. Tanya was always writing reports, doing practice jumps, or analyzing data.

Watching them in the RV room, I noticed a few little things. Edward brushed her hair back with his fingers while he adjusted the leads for the biofeedback machine. There was something tender about it. He spoke softly to her, but maybe that was just him knowing what she needed. There was something about the two of them that led me to believe the past wasn't over.

I was sitting in the dark with my work, watching him watch her when Rosie found me. A sliver of light spilled in from the hallway as she opened the door. I held a finger up to my lips and she nodded, closing the door with a soft click.

"Man, he's creepy," Rosalie sighed.

"Actually, I think he's in love," I said.

She shot me a glance with her eyebrows raised, like she didn't believe me.

"Have you ever watched them together?"

"No," she said. "I've got better things to do than spy on my coworkers."

"Just watch."

Rosalie settled down next to me and crossed her legs. I slid my hand into her lap out of habit. At some point, we were going to have to have the relationship conversation again. Every few years it cropped up. We'd been assigned to the same unit briefly while we were in the Corps, and this on again off again mating dance we were currently doing had started then.

She left my hand in her lap and pulled out her tablet. She was reviewing security reports, and half-heartedly watching Edward.

"Why isn't the biofeedback machine making any noise?" she asked suddenly.

"He silenced it."

Rosie stared at me incredulously. "Why would he do that?"

"She jumped without it." I shrugged.

"Without it?"

"Yeah, it looks like Edward hasn't had the sound turned on since he got here."

"…and she's doing a coordinate jump?"

"Yep."

"I'll be damned," Rosalie said in awe. She sat back and watched them.

"It's time to come back, Bella," Edward said softly from the other room. He counted back from twenty and she opened her eyes. They were staring at each other intently. They didn't look away from each other while she disconnected from the machine.

"Ooooh, that's awkward…" Rosalie commented.

"They still love each other," I said.

"She's engaged." Rosalie grimaced.

"Have you ever heard of two people sharing a sanctuary?"

"No," she paused, her eyes went wide. "Do they?"

I nodded.

"That's just too weird."

"Why?"

"Edward's sanctuary is a meadow in Oregon. We usually pick someplace that has emotional significance to us."

"And…"

"Has Bella ever been to Oregon?"

"She's from Washington State." I shrugged.

Rosalie looked at me skeptically.

"Totally possible, babe."

"Just not plausible…"

"Take your notes and write a summary. We'll go over it after lunch," Edward said, muffled by the glass. Bella nodded and followed him out of the room.

"I don't know about you, but I see heartbreak on the horizon," Rosalie said.

"Do you think she'll leave the fiancé and give him another chance?"

"No. Edward's broken her heart before. I think she's going to break his," she said grimly.

"Not ducks, she's too nice for that."

"She thinks they're over, Emmett. She's moved on with this Jacob guy. It's highly likely that she won't even notice that Edward is still in love with her."

"How can she not notice _that?"_ I gestured toward the RV room.

"You'd be amazed. The girl's got self-esteem issues, and she has no reason to think that he's still interested. He'd totally have to hit her over the head."

"Which he isn't going to do because he thinks he's being noble," I added.

"Pretty much…"

"What are we going to do?" I asked.

She shot me a withering look. "Nothing," she said. "We're not getting involved."

"But, Rose – "

"No, Emmett! Alice has already screwed around with them enough, don't you think? This is up to Edward and Bella. They're both here, so either he gets over himself and actually learns to talk to the girl, or she cuts the crap and approaches him. Either way, they don't need us sticking our noses into it."

I sighed.

"Leave it," she said.

"…but, Rose – "

"Promise me, Emmett."

"Alright, for now, I will keep my mouth shut."

Rosalie smiled flirtatiously at me. "Good boy," she whispered.

"How good?"

"Tonight?" she asked.

"Tonight," I whined.

"We have work to accomplish. You know, that thing they pay us to do."

"Yeah, fine," I pouted.

"It'll be worth your while, Em." She lifted my hand from her lap and kissed the center of my palm, lightly touching her tongue to it. The sensation traveled like a shock wave through my body.

"Rosalie," I growled.

"Tonight." She dropped my hand and left me alone and thoroughly frustrated. I took a few deep breaths and thought about my Aunt Mabel's upcoming hip surgery until I felt presentable.

I was going to have that talk with her soon. It was making less and less sense over the years for Rose and I to remain friends with benefits. There was more of an emotional connection there than either of us had ever admitted. I didn't want to end up like some idiot watching the girl he loved marry someone else because he was too chicken to say anything. I would not be Edward Cullen.

**~V258~**

**Bella**

_3 June 2010 SpecInt Headquarters, MD_

For all of the frustration Edward Cullen caused, he seemed to understand me better than anyone else. I'd made more progress in three days working with him, than three weeks with Rosalie. He understood and made accommodations without thinking about them. Having said that, he was still bossy and irritating. How had I ever dated him?

His tone of voice was always soft, like I was some sort of wild animal about to bolt. He also treated me like I was fragile. Working with Jasper, in contrast, was a relief. The past two mornings he worked my butt off. I was sore, and tired, and probably a little cranky. However, I could throw a punch and a kick. His continuous assertion that I would be able to beat up Edward was surprising, and somewhat appealing. Part of me wanted to prove to him that I wasn't some fragile little girl, and hitting him held a certain appeal.

I stepped into Jasper's office for lunch and Edward immediately handed me a Styrofoam to go box. I opened it and realized that this meal had been intended for him. It was a serving of fried ravioli and an Italian salad complete with peppers and olives. I smiled. It was like he was serving some sort of penance. He ate spaghetti instead.

Emmett patted the seat next to him and I sat down. He eyed my food, looked at Edward in a disgruntled manner and shook his head. Emmett had some sort of grilled vegetable concoction with pasta.

"I had her eating healthy, man," Emmett whined.

"Keep your new age 'diet is everything' crap to yourself," Edward responded. "She needs the calories."

"I'm right here," I mumbled.

"Sorry, ducks."

"I apologize, would you prefer something else?" Edward asked, full of his usual apologetic tone. It kind of pissed me off.

"No, this is good," I said, taking a bite out of the ravioli.

"I hear that you made a training jump today," Jasper said.

I nodded.

"It went better than expected," Edward said.

I could feel my cheeks heating under the close scrutiny of my colleagues. "It went well," I muttered.

"Bella executed the jump perfectly. I haven't debriefed her yet, but I'm sure that she'll have all of the required components in her summary."

Why did he have to use the word debriefed?

I was beet red.

Emmett was shaking slightly next to me. There was a sudden pop, and he grunted.

"Rose!"

"You're a perv," she said unapologetically.

"Tanya's movements are still erratic," Alice announced. "The woman makes no sense. I can't figure out why she's sitting on the stolen data, but she hasn't sold it yet."

"We need to consider the possibility that she's freelancing," Jasper commented.

I didn't have anything to add to the conversation. From what I'd gathered, Tanya was a viewer Edward trained. She left SpecInt with sensitive information, which wouldn't have been suspect except for the fact that she walked away without any notice, and refused all contact. Edward seemed really invested in the search, it was almost like he felt betrayed.

Most of these meetings went in one ear and out the other. I really didn't have any investment in the case, but if it wasn't solved by the time I finished training, I would be helping with it. I should have been paying attention.

When the take out containers were empty Edward motioned toward the door.

"Conference room?"

"I'll be right there," I said.

He nodded and left.

"I'm proud of you, duckling," Emmett said, pulling me in for a fast hug. This really was the huggiest office I'd ever seen.

I smiled and pulled away.

My summary was in a folder on my desk, neatly typed and ready to go. I grabbed it on my way down the hall. Edward was waiting in the conference room. He pushed out the chair across from him with his foot when I entered.

I placed the summary in his hands and sat He skimmed it quickly as he ticked off items on a check sheet with a pen. He was smiling slyly as he finished.

"This is really good." He allowed the grin to spread across his face.

"Really?"

"Highest score I've ever seen on a first jump."

"What is this, anyway?"

"It's kind of like a scavenger hunt," he explained. "There are certain things you're supposed to pick up. You, love, got all of them and some bonus items."

I bristled a little because he called me 'love.' He failed to notice.

"Bonus items?"

"This was a jump back in time. You picked up Rose and me when we trained on this same jump." He pointed to a couple of blurry figures I'd drawn.

"That's not you." I pointed to the male figure. "It didn't feel like you."

"I was sixteen," he explained. "People change over time, and I know that's me."

I cocked my head to the side.

"The colors on the sweater… It was my favorite in high school," he confided.

"I hope it's better in person, because the colors are pretty hideous."

"Esme knit it. It was the first thing she ever gave me."

"Holy crap, I thought it was familiar!" I remembered it a bit differently than the colored blur I saw in the ether.

"It's still in my dresser."

"The colors have faded."

"You've worn it before," he said.

"I know," I nodded.

_There was a storm brewing and the usually hot and muggy early October air was suddenly chilly. I hadn't packed much that was warm for the weekend. Edward and I were on the back porch of his house, looking out over the Savannah River. _

_I shivered and wrapped my hands around my mug of tea._

_Edward looked at me, concerned. _

"_I'm fine." I waved him off._

"_You're cold," he said. "We should go inside."_

"_No, I want to watch the storm."_

"_Here…" He stripped off his sweater and handed it to me._

"_Are you sure?" _

"_I'm fine. You're the one in a tank top." _

_When I hesitated, he took the sweater and pulled it down over my head, threading my arms through the sleeves._

"_Snug?" he asked._

"_As a bug in a rug," I answered._

"_Good, now you can keep me warm," he said, and pulled me into his lap. He kissed my neck, reducing me to putty in his skilled hands. I turned my head and captured his lips with mine. Kissing him was addictive. The storm was soon forgotten as we made out. Rain battered down on the roof of the porch, and rolled off in sheets down to the waterfront. We focused on each other._

We both remembered it. I turned bright red again. That had been an eventful afternoon. I could almost feel him touching me. His fingers had worked some magic that afternoon, and I'd learned a few things about male anatomy. The conference room was too hot and he was too close.

"And Rose?" I asked, trying to break the spell.

He shook his head quickly, shifted in his seat and went back to the summary.

"You didn't know it was her?"

"She felt familiar, but I couldn't ID her."

"Honestly, Bella, you were doing pretty well to pick up that we'd been there. Most viewers wouldn't have gotten that far. The fact that she felt familiar is phenomenal. Carlisle even has trouble with this."

I nodded.

"You might be able to go to The Farm sooner than we thought."

"Okay." I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Quite frankly, spy school scared me.

"Off the record, you don't have to do this," he said. "You could walk away."

I didn't like his tone.

"Not a chance in hell," I responded.

He nodded.

I could tell that he really didn't want me to continue with SpecInt. He thought I couldn't do it. I was suddenly determined to prove him wrong. I was going to be better at this than he was if it killed me.

* * *

**End Note:**

The next chapter is not complete nor has it been beta'd (partially because I forgot that I set something up, and then had to back up and fill in some blanks). If I don't split it, it should be a long chapter – yay! I'm hoping to get it done and out, but I might really need to take the week off. Review replies shall be forthcoming, depending on how long I have company tomorrow.


	26. Chapter 25 Girl's Night

**A/n: **Thank you to loss4words for cleaning this up for me. It never ceases to amaze me how many times I can look over something and still miss a typo. Thank you to everyone who's been reading and reviewing!

* * *

**Rosalie**

_4 June 2010 Bethesda MD_

Bella had possibly the worst selection of clothing imaginable for clubbing. If I'd known, I would have planned ahead. I ended up calling Kate. She seemed the closest to Bella's size.

"Yeah," she answered on the fifth ring.

"Thank God," I said. "I need you to meet me at Bella's"

"I thought you were picking me up," she whined. "I'm nowhere near ready."

"Bella is having wardrobe issues."

I was watching Bella sift through items in her closet. Every once in a while she would show me something and I would shake my head.

"I didn't mean to make everyone late," Bella said.

"Listen, Kate, I need you to get over here, bring your stuff, and something for Bella."

Bella stopped and turned to look at me. Her jaw was practically on the floor. She shook her head violently. "Rose!" she whisper-shouted.

"What do you mean she doesn't have anything?" Kate asked, astonished.

"You know the librarian theme she has going for work?"

"Yeah?"

"Her closet is filled with that, sweats, and an ancient BDU blouse," I explained.

"I'll be right there," Kate deadpanned and hung up.

"There has to be something here that'll work," Bella complained.

I gestured at the pile of clothes she was carefully trying to reorganize. "Trust me, you don't own anything you can wear out to a night club."

"Don't people wear jeans to bars?" She pulled out a pair of dark wash, boot cut jeans.

"We're not going to a bar. We're hitting a night club in D.C."

Bella plopped down on the bed and stared at her fingernails. I sighed and picked up the rest of her clothing, hanging it back up.

"Let's do your hair," I suggested. I checked Bella's bathroom and discovered that a hairdryer was the only appliance in there. "Don't you have hot rollers or a curling iron?" I called.

"No"

Well, that made things more difficult. How did she not own a curling iron?

"Okay," I peeked around the doorframe at her. "Clean socks?"

"Those, I have." She looked a bit puzzled.

"Go get them," I said, and walked down the hall to the kitchen to get a barstool. I set it in the bathroom. Bella came in with an armload of little brightly colored ankle socks. I raised an eyebrow at them and she shrugged. I patted the stool and she sat down on it.

"What are the socks for?"

"To curl your hair."

I rinsed her brush repeatedly under the faucet and ran it through her hair to get it uniformly damp, then I sprayed my hairspray on it, since she didn't seem to have that either. It took me five more minutes to roll her hair around the socks. Kate was knocking on the door as soon as I finished. We met her in the living room.

Kate took one look at Bella with her hair tied up and said, "No curling iron?" Her own hair was in giant Velcro rollers.

"No."

"I brought a couple of things," she said, tossing a garment bag on the couch and unzipping it. She pulled out what I recognized as her favorite silver dress. "This is mine, you can borrow anything else. Bathroom?"

Bella directed her to the back of the apartment. Kate puller her make-up bag and hairdryer out of the garment bag and hurried off. I looked through the bag and pulled out a sleeveless cowl neck top and a black skirt that didn't look too different from Bella's except for the fact that it had a slit.

Her eyes widened when I showed it to her.

"Oh, Rose, I don't know…"

"Go put it on. We don't have that many choices."

Bella bit her lip nervously and retreated to her room to change.

"Can I have a sweater or a jacket?" Bella called.

"No! It's the middle of summer, and you're going to be too hot!" I yelled through the door.

She opened the door just a crack and popped her head in. "This isn't going to work."

"Let me see." I shoved the door open. Bella was fidgeting and uncomfortable, but she looked great. She had cleavage. I figured that she would, but the way she filled out the top kind of surprised me. The skirt seemed to be a perfect fit, slightly more snug than her work clothes, but still nice.

Kate stepped out of the bathroom with an eyelash curler in hand.

"Damn it! I liked that top too," she sighed. "Keep it."

"W-what do you mean keep it?" Bella stammered.

"That looks better on you than it does one me. I can't wear it anymore now that I've seen you in it, so keep it – but I want the skirt back," Kate explained.

"Um, okay…" Bella grinned.

"Are you done with the hair dryer?" I asked

"Sure thing," Kate said and stepped aside.

I ran Kate's dryer over Bella's hair because it didn't look ancient, as opposed to Bella's 1990 – something Con Air. Once the heat was applied, I passed her off to Kate for make-up, and got to work on my own. I slid on my little black dress and tried to summon some enthusiasm. I didn't really feel like going out, especially since I was the designated driver. Emmett dropped a bomb on me the night before. I couldn't help but think about it. He'd picked a hell of a time to change the game on me.

"_Rose?" he whispered, rolling over in bed, tangling his legs in my sheets._

"_Yeah," I said sleepily._

"_How long have we been doing this?"_

"_About twenty minutes."_

"_No, this." He gestured between us._

"_What is this?" I imitated his gesture._

_I didn't like the serious turn we were suddenly taking. Our arrangement was about stress relief, fun, and camaraderie. We'd watched each other's backs during some of the most stressful situations either of us had experienced. I couldn't afford to lose what we had._

"_Us, Rose." He put his hand over my heart. "I know that we've always said that we would keep this casual, that we're friends, but I can't be casual when it comes to you anymore. I want you to be mine."_

"_Emmett…"_

"_Rose."_

"_I need time to think about it."_

_He huffed and rolled out of bed._

"_Let me know when you're done," he said._

We avoided each other at work, and I felt hollow inside. Jasper spent a good portion of the day staring at both of us. I was going to have to fix things, but I didn't know how.

I peeked in on Kate and Bella in the bedroom to find that Kate had worked wonders with the few items Bella owned.

"How did you…?"

"I used my eye shadow, hers wasn't dark enough."

"Oh."

Bella almost looked like she could be my younger, dark-haired sister. I checked my watch. We were late. I sat down on the bed behind Bella, pulled out the socks and fluffed her hair.

"Time to go!"

I ushered the two of them out to the car without letting anyone stop by the bathroom. If Kate started doing touch ups we would spend the whole night at Bella's apartment.

**~V258~**

I'd allowed Alice to pick a trendy night club on a whim. We met her and Carmen down the block at a parking garage and walked. Bella was the only one of us not wearing heels, and I kind of envied her. Fortunately, we didn't have to wait in line to get in. Carmen was well connected.

We settled in, found some drinks, and started to unwind. I was on my second club soda when I noticed that Bella wasn't drinking her appletini.

"Don't worry," I whispered into her ear.

She looked up at me and blinked a few times.

"I'm not drinking," I explained. "Go ahead and drink it, we'll keep an eye on you."

Bella downed her drink and pulled a face.

I chuckled at her.

"Do you think we can skip the girly drinks?" she asked.

It was my turn to blink.

"It's not my thing. I'd rather have a martini or a gin and tonic if we're doing cocktails."

I grinned and acquired a gin martini, from a friendly bar tender named Paul for her. I set it in front of her and we grinned at each other. I decided that I might actually like Bella Swan, even if she was a bit too wide-eyed and innocent.

She changed my mind about the innocent part, when she started playing with the lemon twist from her glass, and making eyes at random men. Kate pulled her onto the dance floor shortly thereafter. Carmen and I watched them, and talked for a while.

Later that night I glanced around and noticed that Alice was texting and noticeably upset. Carmen had abandoned me to talk to a state department contact who happened to turn up. Alice was punching the keys on her phone like it had personally wronged her. I could almost hear her growling over the music. She stomped off to the bar and came back with a shot. She slung it back and then caught me staring at her.

"We have to go back into work," she shrieked.

"What?"

"It seems that Dmitri screwed up, and we have to go in and bail his sorry butt out. I caught up with Carmen at the bar, she's taking Kate home, but we need to get Bella."

"So much for Girls Night out…"

"I hate this job…"

"You love this job!" I shouted over my shoulder and made my way out onto the floor to extract Bella from Kate and a couple of very friendly guys. I could tell by the way she leaned on me that she was more than a little tipsy.

**~V258~**

**Bella**

_4 June 2010 Washington DC_

I wasn't sure how I felt about Kate. She decided that I needed a lesson in seduction. She'd mentioned while doing my make up that girls night out would be the perfect opportunity to try out a little flirting.

"_When do you ship off to The Farm?" She bent over and looked through my make-up for something – blush._

"_I don't know yet. Edward said that I'd only be taking the espionage specific modules …"_

"_Oh, Bella, you might as well have a target on your back." _

_That seemed strange. She swept the brush across my cheeks and then stopped and looked me in the eye._

"_The instructors at The Farm hate it when we do that. They don't see their services as a'la'carte. The CIA is pretty firm about it. Carmen must have called in a favor or two. The students get cliquey, and the instructors are going to be more than a little resentful." _

"_You think they'll cause problems?"_

"_I think they're going to be looking for weakness," she said. "You're going to have to be the best at everything, and whenever someone's pulled for a demonstration, it'll automatically be you."_

_I took a deep breath and let it out. She went back to fixing my make-up._

"_You'll probably be taking the modules on seduction, resisting torture, and handling an asset. You don't seem particularly comfortable in your skin, and you're going to need to get there pretty damned quick."_

I thought about that conversation, mulled it over while staring at my appletini. Alice, Kate, and Carmen were all very feminine and girly. They drank things like this.

It wasn't me. I couldn't drink frou frou girly crap and be sexy. I was really one of the guys, one of the guys in a skirt and an incredibly low cut top. If I wasn't mistaken, men actually liked that. Sure, they dated girly girls, but they always went for their best friend in the end.

'_I'm your Girl-Friday,' _I told myself. Friday doesn't drink appletinis and giggle. Friday is dependable, she's determined, she's sexy, and she drinks a man's drink.

"Don't worry," Rosalie whispered in my ear.

I just looked at her, and blinked. She reminded me that she was the designated driver, a fact that I hadn't forgotten. I wondered if girly drinks were a required part of 'girl's night.'

"It's not my thing. I'd rather have a martini or a gin and tonic if we're doing cocktails," I said, shrugging my shoulders. A smile spread slowly across Rose's face. She was gone and back within moments with a martini, still smiling like The Cheshire Cat.

I sipped my drink, and pondered exactly how I, Bella Swan, could be sexy. I'd never really felt sexy except for with Edward. Back in college his hands were very rarely away from my body. I felt confident with him. Sadly, in his absence I'd gone back to being a bit of a wall flower socially speaking.

Halfway through my martini, I focused on how that used to feel, knowing that I was attractive and wanted. I regained a little bit of confidence. Kate smiled at me as I relaxed a bit and started to check out the men in the room.

"_Let's make a game out of it," she giggled._

"_A game?"_

"_Whoever gets the most verifiable phone numbers tonight wins."_

"_Kate…" I protested._

"_Come on, Bella, you're pretty hot. I bet you do better than me."_

"Challenge accepted," I mouthed across our little table.

Kate nodded. I started off easy, flirting subtly with whichever guy would make eye contact. I wasn't an expert by any means, but I'd seen Alice and Angela do it enough that I could at least flirt my way out of a paper bag.

Kate slid around next to me, and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. A couple of guys two tables over took notice.

"Those are our marks," she said into my ear. "Guys tend to go for the lesbian fantasy whether or not they actually want it, so try to be a little _friendly_ with me."

I leaned into her shoulder and rested my head on it. My arm slid around her waist. She turned me to face her and we hugged, like friends, but guys would see it differently.

"Are they still watching?" I whispered into her ear, touching her hair a bit more than necessary.

"I think we have them," she said, and then pulled back giggling. I grinned at her.

"What's the next step?"

"We're not accessible enough here, with three other girls they won't come over, but on the dance floor…"

I nodded.

Kate grabbed my hand and led me out into the middle of the floor. I hadn't thought that through. I was a terrible dancer. She caught my deer in headlights stare.

"Just do what I do, and stay close," she shouted over the music.

I did exactly that. My hips moved in time to the music along with hers, I put my arms exactly where she put hers, and toughed it out through the first song. Then, I found a set of very masculine arms around my waist. Kate nodded. I allowed him to turn me around. He was one of the two guys we flirted with.

I smiled a little shyly at him, and let the music move me. His hands roamed a bit, but I kind of liked it. He didn't treat me like I was fragile.

"I'm Felix," he said.

"Bella," I responded.

That was the extent of our conversation. He stayed with me for two songs before slipping a business card into my hand. I tucked it into my bra – since I didn't have any pockets - while he was watching. That earned a bonus half-lidded eye roll from him.

Kate was back as soon as he left.

"The thing with the card was ingenious!"

I laughed.

"Round two," she said and nodded toward a group of guys at a table on the edge of the floor. They were watching us. Kate pulled me close and started grinding on me, which was a bit weird, but I went with it. It didn't take long before we had more friends.

I stepped off the floor with one of them and got another drink from Paul at the bar. I had to ask for that one's number, but he gave it to me. I drank about half of a mojito at the insistence of another gentleman whose name turned out to be Richard when he gave me his number. I made an excuse and left the drink and the guy behind to find Kate again.

I was officially drunk, not quite sloppy, but certainly nearing unattractive. That was where Rosalie found me.

"We have to go!" she shouted. "Kate, Carmen will drive you home!"

"Why?" I asked, following her off the floor.

"Work."

"Work?" I asked. "I've been drinking."

"So has Alice. We'll get some coffee and food into you and you should be fine." Rose wrapped an arm around my waist and kept me from tripping over my own feet on the way out. We were in the car before Alice decided to share the details with me.

"Dmitri is in trouble. His team's run into a problem, and they need intell that he can't get his hands on just now since they're in the middle of nowhere."

"Okay… Are you dropping me off at home?" I asked.

"Uh, no. If I have to go in, you do," Rosalie scoffed. "Besides, it'll be good for you to get used to this kind of stuff."

Rose stopped at a diner and hopped out of the car to get us some food and coffee. Hamburgers and steaming cups were distributed when she got back in, it was almost as if she didn't have to wait. The food and coffee, although welcome, didn't seem to sober me up at all. The drive lulled me into a safe sleepy cocoon. I stared out the window and watched the lights of the city go by. I didn't drift off completely, but I checked out just enough not to listen to Rose and Alice.

Since Alice was so tiny she took the back seat. Rose was complaining over her shoulder. The two of them went back and forth for most of the drive. Alice didn't seem to have had as much to drink as I did. She was clear, while my world was a bit fuzzy around the edges.

We pulled directly in front of the building when we got to work. Emmett was waiting at the door. He let us in, and immediately placed his hand on Rose's mostly bare back. I giggled watching them, because they were like magnets.

"Is she…?" he asked.

"Yep," Rose replied. "We were letting off some steam. Dmitri shouldn't have crises on Friday nights."

Emmett muttered a string of expletives under his breath.

"It's not like she can do much anyway. She's just going to observe." I could almost hear her eyes rolling.

"No, Edward wanted her to try a tactical jump."

"He's worse than Carlisle sometimes," she groaned. "It's only been a few days."

"He thinks she can do it."

"Hi! I'm right here," I said as we pushed through the doors into our office.

"Sorry." Emmett grimaced.

Edward was standing just down the hall with two manila envelopes in his hands. It was the kind of envelope we put jump information in. Two people would be jumping, either him and Rose or me and Rose. Part of me wanted to go to him, and hold his hands so they would be still. He was nervous, and I felt for him.

"Good," Edward sighed in relief. "Alice, Jas is waiting to brief you. Rose," he handed her an envelope, "Jump coordinates are on the front."

Rose took her envelope and sashayed down the hall to the smaller RV room. Emmett went to his desk. I heard the clicking of his keyboard. Alice ducked into Jasper's office, and I was alone with Edward. Alone and still tipsy.

Edward took a step closer to me, and I smiled inappropriately. He gave me a weird look, but didn't say anything until he was within two feet of me.

"You're drunk?"

"Nooo" I shook my head, and felt the whole building move.

"Has Kate been drinking too?" He reached out and touched the neckline of my shirt, sliding a finger down from my right shoulder, and stopping just above where it plunged down to show off cleavage.

"Yep." I stared at his finger. Part of me wanted him to follow that neckline down and then back up the other shoulder.

"How many have you had?" He pulled his hand back, like he was shocked that he'd been touching me.

"Two and a half, maybe three," I said, desperately trying to count drinks on my fingers. "I might actually be really drunk, it could be closer to four… "

"Damn it," he chuckled, and I laughed not so much because I understood what he found funny, but because it seemed like the right thing to do. Also, I couldn't stop myself. He reached around me, rapped on Jasper's door a couple of times and turned the handle.

"What is it?" Jasper asked.

"We're both drunk." Edward smirked.

"Kate?"

"She's been drinking too."

I turned and looked at Jasper over my shoulder.

"The fist one of you to sober up does the jump." Jasper was exasperated. He quickly turned back to Alice, and Edward pulled the door shut. I turned my head only to find that Edward was still very much in my personal space. He was close enough that I could kiss him. I could smell whiskey and his cologne. I was drawn to him. I wanted to lean in and kiss along his jaw the way I'd done so many times before.

"Coffee?" I asked, breaking free from my Edward and alcohol induced haze.

"That's an old wives tale," Edward said.

"Then what do we do?"

"Honestly, not much. We could try running on the treadmill, and drinking a ton of water."

"Probably better than sitting around waiting," I said.

He grabbed my hand and led me outside, across the grounds to the gym. We split up just inside the doors and I went to the women's locker room. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror for the first time all evening on my way to the bathroom. I looked like Rose. Granted, I was pale with dark hair instead of blonde and tan, but the make-up and hair made me look really good. All of my flaws were hidden, and my eyes seemed impossibly big.

The clothes helped too. The top was certainly more revealing than what I was used to, and the slit on the skirt was practically indecent, but I felt kind of powerful. I smiled at myself in the mirror, and posed a couple of times. It seemed like such a stupid, girly thing to do, but I couldn't help it. It was like trying on a different personality. I finally stopped and took care of what I needed to, then changed. I'd been so reluctant to wear that outfit in the first place, but taking it off was like admitting that I wasn't that girl. I didn't want to do it, but I had to change. There would be no running dressed like that, but I didn't take off my make-up.

* * *

**End Note:**

Well, I split the chapter – in three - it was longer than anticipated.

I've been meaning to comment on this for a couple of chapters but I always seem to be writing these things immediately before publishing.

So, the mystery baby I mentioned a few chapters back belongs to the marvelous lovebite. Congrats again, dear. In addition, since I'm doing belated baby announcements, Lady Dragona had a baby too! Welcome to the world Baby Dragon(a).

I'm still hanging in here. Barring tragedy or insanity, next week should bring another chapter. Having said that, both are kind of likely. One of my dear friends is very ill and has MRSA on top of it, her condition doesn't have a high survival rate without the complication of drug resistant infection. If I disappear don't worry; I'll be back soon.


	27. Chapter 26 Tactical

**A/n: **Ever have one of those moments when you think you updated your fic, but then you realize that, no that was a dream… I apologize. I thought I put this chapter up before I crashed.

Thanks to loss4words for beta'ing this baby.

* * *

**Bella**

_4 June 2010 SpecInt Headquarters, MD_

"What took so long?"

"Sorry, I had a zipper problem. I was wearing Kate's clothes…"

"I could help you next time you have a zipper problem," Edward cut me off.

I glared at him. He sounded like a perverted teenager.

"That was out loud, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," I said awkwardly, and took a drink from my water bottle so I wouldn't have to look at him.

"I'm sorry, sometimes I channel Emmett when I'm drunk," he said.

"Okay."

We were standing at opposite ends of the cardio room. I didn't know what he was feeling, but I was nervous. We were alone and intoxicated.

"Shall we?" he asked and stepped onto a treadmill.

I got on the one next to him.

Over the course of several minutes a simple run on the treadmill became a competition. He would speed up, then I would. He chuckled at me each time, like he thought I was being juvenile. Maybe I was, but the chuckling didn't help. I suddenly had this urge to be better than him. He started to change the incline on his treadmill. Not to be outdone, I put mine on a steeper slope than his, and sped up again.

All went well for a few moments.

Then, I tripped over my own feet. I immediately fell forward, knocking my head on the screen. I grabbed for the handrails while falling and only managed to smack my wrists on them before hitting the conveyer belt with a thud and being propelled back off of the treadmill before the emergency shut off engaged.

Edward was in front of me in less than a second.

"Bella?"

"Nothing hurt worse than my pride," I said, and bent in, cradling my sore body.

"You're bleeding," he said, and carefully pulled me to my feet. I could feel the blood starting to drip down my face. I was a bit dizzy from the smell of blood, and possibly from knocking myself on the head. He ushered me out of the cardio room and down the hall to the infirmary. It was a fully stocked hospital room, complete with equipment that I couldn't identify to save my life.

I turned to tell him that this wasn't necessary. I just needed some Bactine and a band aid. He picked me up and sat me on the hospital bed. I found the fact that he was touching me a bit disconcerting. It was like this electrical charge that built up between us, like static. It didn't matter that I didn't want to be attracted to him, or that it would be inconvenient to start a relationship. We were magnets.

He grabbed a handful of gauze and applied pressure to the cut. I knew that I was probably a complete mess. Head wounds bleed excessively, and this one was no different. After a few moments he brought his hand down and changed to fresh gauze. The original clump was bright red. I made the mistake of looking at it.

"Bella," Edward warned. He knew that I'd seen it, and was starting to get dizzy. "Stay with me."

I nodded.

It took several minutes for the blood to clot enough for Edward to remove his hand. He took the side of the hospital bed down, and adjusted the back so that it was inclined. I scooted over and leaned back.

"I'm going to clean it, okay?"

"Yeah," I whispered.

He grabbed some supplies and sat down on the bed facing me. He winced with me when the cold rubbing alcohol touched my skin. When he finished he blew on the cut. His face was right next to mine. We were breathing the same air. I couldn't think.

I looked up at him, and at the same moment he looked down. He was still holding my face in his hands. We leaned into each other, and I reached up and touched his hair. I rubbed a small lock between my fingers, fascinated because it'd always been short and soft like peach fuzz.

Then, we were kissing. I didn't know who kissed whom, but I really didn't care. He applied just the right amount of pressure. I opened my mouth, and he took advantage of the opportunity. I felt like I needed him. I whimpered and shifted, trying to change our position to get more body contact. His hands slid down to my back, and he moved, climbing on top of me and laying me down on the bed. I opened my legs and he settled between them. I reached down and settled my hands on his butt, trying to get him to thrust.

There was a click down the hall as someone opened the door to the building. Edward pulled away, but not far enough. Carlisle Cullen popped his head around the corner just in time to see Edward climbing off of me. I felt my cheeks turn bright red, and I buried my head in my hands.

"Everything okay here?" Carlisle asked.

"Um, fine," Edward said.

"Isabella?"

"Yeah," I squeaked.

"What happened to your head?" Carlisle stepped forward to look at the cut, which hadn't scabbed over yet.

"I fell on the treadmill," I said, embarrassed.

"Has it already been cleaned?" He asked Edward.

"Yeah, I … uh… just finished actually."

Carlisle shot him a scathing look, and grabbed a butterfly from the first aid kit on the counter.

"May I?"

I nodded.

Carlisle put the paper suture on with his cold hands and then covered the cut with a bandage.

"Now, have either of you sobered up enough to jump?" he asked.

We both stared at him.

"It's been almost two hours," he sighed. Carlisle turned his back on us to sift through the drawers of the cabinet. I quickly smoothed my hair and Edward rubbed his lips, removing the remains of my lipstick.

Carlisle turned around with a palm sized gray device in his hand. He attached a straw to one end and I realized what it was. Charlie bought one for the police station the previous Christmas and spent the entire holiday forcing Jacob and I to 'test it out.' It was a breathalyzer. Carlisle stood in front of me and held it out.

"Take a deep breath and blow until it stops beeping," he said.

I leaned forward and did as he asked. Carlisle nodded when I finished, changed the straw and repeated the process with Edward. He frowned at Edward's reading.

"You're safe to drive, so you can jump," he told me. "Edward, we need to talk later."

Carlisle led us out of the infirmary like we were two wayward teenagers caught making out in the janitor's closet. When we were outside, Edward tapped my shoulder to get me to hang back a bit.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again," he said.

My heart sank. He regretted kissing me.

"So much for a clean slate," I said.

"Listen, we've both been drinking, I don't think we should take what happened back there too seriously."

"It's fine, Edward. Let's just get to work."

"Okay."

Carlisle led us all the way to the RV room. He handed me an envelope like the one Rose had, and nodded toward the chair. I settled in, looked at the coordinates and closed my eyes. I placed myself in my sanctuary, focused on the numbers that had been on the envelope and formed a doorway in my mind. It was a large, round opening like a pool of still water.

"Viewer 2-5-8 forming event horizon," I said.

"Proceed to coordinates 9-5-3-4," Edward's voice drifted into my sanctuary.

"Viewer 2-5-8 crossing event horizon." I'd only done a jump out of my sanctuary a couple of times. It was like stepping into water and being pulled along with the current. I slid through, and surrendered to the pull that dragged me under and dropped me into a completely foreign place.

"Viewer 2-5-8 has arrived."

"Describe the target," Edward said.

I looked around, but there wasn't much beyond rubble.

"The target is dark, there's a lot of rubble. It looks like there's been an explosion."

"Are you able to locate any SpecInt personnel?"

I turned around and came face to face with a stocky guy with sandy blond hair. He was holding a satellite phone. To his right was a woman with long, black hair and olive skin. Both were wearing SpecInt issue camouflage uniforms.

"I have two SpecInt employees, a male and a female."

"Viewer 2-5-8, I need you to look for a third person."

Although, I knew that the man and woman couldn't see me, and if I were to touch them, my hand would go straight through, it was disconcerting. I stepped between them and looked around, there was a third man with short, dark hair and very pale skin. He held his arm like it was injured.

"Confirmed, I have one additional male employee who seems to be injured."

"Describe the location."

I looked around. "There's a lot of rubble. The walls look like they're cinderblock. I have a door on the northeast wall that seems undamaged."

"Proceed Northeast to the door."

I walked over to the door and placed my hand inside the handle. I don't know how, but I felt like it was locked. A keypad sat below it.

"The door is locked."

"Affirmative, Viewer 2-5-8, we have the combination, please proceed through the door."

I stepped through the closed door and felt the metal pass over my skin like silk. It was beyond weird. I found a matching keypad on the other side. I looked around and saw that I was in a long, dark corridor.

"The door is at the end of a long hallway," I said.

"Follow the hallway."

I walked down until it dead ended. Edward had me walk through an endless maze of halls until I found a way out, then made me back track to the original target.

"Viewer 2-5-8, this is Monitor 9-5. I will be changing protocol for this jump and allowing you to speak to the target." 9-5 was not Edward, Edward was 1-5-9. Carlisle had taken over the jump.

"Yes, sir," I said, and waited. The man with the sandy colored hair lifted the sat-phone to his ear and answered it.

"I'm here," I heard him both in the ether and through a telephone connection back at SpecInt. He was slightly out of sync, and his voice seemed to reverberate.

"I have a viewer at your location who is going to talk you out," Carlisle said.

"Viewer 2-5-8, please navigate back to the exit and give directions as you do it."

"Yes, sir," I said, and began talking the team through the maze. The woman supported the dark haired man, while the other guy walked practically on top of me and listened to my instructions over the phone. When I got them back out to daylight the phone connection was severed. I watched them run for a Hum-v.

"Viewer 2-5-8, you may form an event horizon back to your sanctuary," Edward was back. I had to admit that I was more comfortable with him than Carlisle. I began forming the portal home when I sensed someone behind me.

I turned and caught a woman staring at me. She was tall with red-tinted blonde hair, and fierce blue eyes. She was in a blue dress with a matching scarf pooled around her neck.

"Monitor 1-5-9, be advised, I am not alone."

"Bella, get out of there," Edward said.

I practically jumped through the event horizon as soon as it completed and closed it as fast as I could behind myself.

"Viewer 2-5-8 has returned to sanctuary," I announced, gasping for air. I lost hold of my sanctuary quickly, and opened my eyes to the RV room.

Carlisle and Edward both looked alarmed.

"It was a woman, early thirties, reddish blonde hair, blue eyes."

"Can you draw her?" Carlisle moved the sheet with my mission notes and thrust a clean piece of paper in front of me.

"I can try. I've never drawn someone without looking at them." I looked at Edward for reassurance, but he was staring at the floor with his hands in his pockets. I started a sketch, but couldn't quite get it right. I finally handed the sketch to Carlisle with an apology, "her face is more square."

Carlisle looked at the picture and then angrily thrust it at Edward. Edward took the sketch and looked at it like he already knew what would be there. He nodded, and Carlisle stormed out of the room.

"Go ahead and write up your report and I'll call you a cab."

"Edward?"

"Yeah," he sighed.

"Who is she?"

"That's the target Rosalie and I have been trying to get a fix on… it seems that she either found you or she's searching for Dmitri," he said flatly.

"Why?"

"I'll debrief you tomorrow, okay. For now, you need to write your report and go home to bed."

I nodded, exhaustion had settled in during the jump. I was bone-tired.

**~V258~**

**Carlisle**

_5 June 2010 SpecInt Headquarters MD_

It was rare that I found myself in the office on a Saturday. That was one of the few perks I enjoyed as management. I could finally give Esme lazy Saturday mornings with nothing more important to do than have brunch with the kids. Unfortunately, Dmitri seemed to have gotten himself into a bind while working on a government contract.

I wasn't even sure exactly where he was. Alistair, my fellow manager, handled that particular contract. It was military, as were most of Dmitri's jobs. Dmitri was, for lack of a better description, our in-house assassin. He could make a bullet go wherever he wanted it to, which was a rather useful skill. Alistair recruited both him and Tanya on a trip to Russia.

This brought me to the issue with Tanya. She and Dmitri had never been close, and the fact that she turned up on a jump involving him was suspicious. I didn't exactly trust Dmitri, but I'd never thought he might be involved with Tanya until then.

He needed to be under surveillance. I needed someone I could trust to watch him. Rosalie came to mind, but he'd never trust her enough if she was on his team. We had a new viewer coming out of The Farm, but he would need to be trained. I couldn't find an easy solution, so I opted to do spot checks on him myself, by jumping and watching him.

"Dad?"

I looked up from Isabella's mission report. It was sitting in my hand, mostly unread. Edward was standing in the doorway. My son looked as tired as I felt.

"Come in, Edward."

He dropped into the chair across from mine with a thud.

"Have you read it?" he asked.

"Partially, it's three in the morning, and I'm not as young as I used to be. "

"You should go home."

"She's good," I changed the subject.

"Bella?" he asked.

"Bella? Does she like to be called Bella?"

"Yeah, she's usually pretty adamant about it. I'm surprised she didn't say something to you earlier." He laughed.

I paused and stared at him for a moment. He seemed rather familiar with her for someone who had known her for only a few days. Granted, they'd been making out in the infirmary, but his tone of voice gave him away. There was tenderness there.

"You know her," I stated.

"Of course, I'm training her," he tried to dodge the issue at hand.

"Edward."

"Yes, I know her quite well."

It took me a few moments, but I placed her.

"Isabella Swan is _the_ Bella, isn't she?" I mentally kicked myself for not figuring it out sooner. She was exactly what Esme had described, perhaps a touch less confident…

"Yeah, dad."

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out, trying to figure out what kind of advice I could give him. My son loved that girl beyond what was reasonable. He'd been pining for her, and now she was here, but she was engaged to someone else and that was sure to be messy.

"As your boss, you know that I don't care about what you and other consenting adults who work here do. As your father, I think you should stay away from any romantic involvement –"

"I know," he interrupted.

"She's with someone else," I informed him, just in case he'd forgotten.

"I know." His face twisted in anger. He looked just like he had as a child when Alice would tease him. There was no reasoning with him when he was like this.

"Just, be careful," I said, reaching across the desk to take his hand.

"It's in the past. I let her go, and now I have to deal with the consequences."

"Son, it certainly didn't look like it was in the past earlier."

"I promise, it won't happen again."

I nodded.

"Are you going home?" I asked.

"No, I have to be back in five hours to debrief Bella," he said. "Are you going?"

"No, I'm too tired to drive. I was going to sleep in one of the chairs."

"Don't forget to let Esme know," he said.

I nodded. We walked out of my office together. I settled down in my RV chair for the night, knowing that he was doing the same thing in the room below me. I was worried about him. It was highly unlikely that he'd be able to stay away from Miss Swan. I had to admit, that messy as the situation was, I didn't really want him to. Esme had said that he was truly happy with Bella. In all honesty, there was a good chance that her current relationship wouldn't last. Bella hadn't bothered to ask for permission to read her fiancé in, and that didn't bode well for them.

* * *

**End Note:**

I'm publishing this from Metro Atlanta Sprawl. My friend, the one who's been sick, came home on hospice this week. I'm supposed to be helping, but I'm sick so thus far I've just been taking up space.

We've reached the point in the story where I'm going to have a little bit of lag time. I'm going to try and find time to get some chapters knocked out, even if it means we need to skip forward a bit to some chapters I've already started.


	28. Chapter 27 Shield

**A/n:**

Thanks to loss4words for beta'ing this monster. In addition to the fact that she patiently navigated the changes google has made switching between gdocs and google drive. We had some issues.

Sorry for the delay – more info at the end. I wrote a larger chapter than usual. Enjoy.

* * *

**Bella**

_5 June 2010 SpecInt Headquarters, MD_

I had gotten out of the habit of working on Saturdays. Instead, I'd been sleeping, or staring at e-mails from Jake. Edward was sitting at my desk. I hadn't bothered to change out of my shorts and T-shirt and into work clothes. He was wearing the same clothes he had on the night before, and he reeked of stale booze.

"Morning," he grunted.

"Did you stay here all night?"

"Yeah."

I nodded and grabbed my water bottle. Edward pushed away from the desk and headed off toward the conference room. I followed. Carlisle was waiting for us, and although he looked a little less pressed than normal, he was still presentable. I dropped into a chair and he slid the sealed envelope from my jump, and the file I completed the night before across the table to me.

There were photographs of the three SpecInt personnel I'd seen during my jump, and an aerial photograph of some sort of military structure. It looked like someone had set off a bomb on one side of it.

The information that Carlisle and Edward were willing to give me was limited. Dmitri's team had become trapped while trying to fulfill their mission. They were hiding and needed an escape route.

"Rosalie made the same jump you did," Edward said.

"Why didn't I sense her?"

"You weren't there at the same time."

I cocked my head to the side.

"Neither of you jumped to a specific time, so what you were seeing was the present. If you'd jumped to the same time, you would have seen each other," Edward explained.

I nodded again.

"I sent Rosalie home as soon as you verified her data," Carlisle said. "Dmitri requested directions, so I changed protocol and had you walk him through rather than sending a map since he was in no position to receive it."

"Why didn't Rosalie walk through earlier? Why did you wait so long for me to be able to jump?"

"We prefer to verify information before using it," Carlisle said. "If you had been unable to jump after an hour we would have had Rosalie walk them through."

"What about the woman?" I asked, pulling my final drawing out of the file. I caught Edward flinching out of the corner of my eye.

Carlisle sighed and reached behind him to grab a file out of his bag. He opened it to show me a personnel file with a small glossy photograph of the woman. I compared it to my sketch just to be sure. She was, indeed, the same person, Tanya Fedorovna. She was Russian, and had been on temporary assignment with SpecInt for specialized training. According to her file she disappeared, and when Jasper's team went to investigate they found her apartment cleaned out. Her desk was also empty.

"She's gone rogue," Edward muttered.

"Or she had an agenda from the beginning," Carlisle added in a more civilized tone.

"This is the assignment the rest of the team's been working on?"

"Don't think I haven't noticed the fact that you're not paying attention in those briefings," Edward said.

"I haven't been read in, so I figured that listening was optional," I said.

Edward smirked. I wanted to stick my tongue out at him.

"She's watching someone," I commented.

Edward nodded. "Possibly all of us. She knows our coordinates."

"Except for mine," I said.

Edward looked down quickly, then back up, but slightly to my right. Carlisle shifted in his seat. I stared at them for a moment. They were hiding something.

"Except for mine," I repeated a little more firmly. I leaned slightly into Edward's direct line of sight, forcing eye contact.

_I expect an answer._

Carlisle broke first, "You were already in the database when I started vetting you."

"I was in the database? What does that mean?"

"Someone has jumped to you before," Carlisle explained. "It's someone I know."

Edward looked sheepish. Carlisle seemed oblivious, but it didn't take much for me to figure it out. I glared at him.

"So, it's likely that she can find me too."

Carlisle agreed.

…_So much for keeping me safe._

I continued to stare Edward down.

"We should consider stepping up your training," Carlisle said.

I nodded. If Tanya knew about me, I wanted to finish training as fast as possible.

"I'll draw up a new schedule. You seem to be doing well with Remote Viewing, so we can focus a bit more on other areas." Edward still wasn't looking at me. Instead, he was scribbling something down on his notebook.

"Good. I think we're finished here." Carlisle stood up and headed for the door. He stopped with his hand on the knob. "Bella, would you like to come to brunch? Esme would like to see you."

I stared at Carlisle for a long moment. He'd never mentioned Esme to me before. I'd always assumed that he had walked into my hospital room knowing who I was, and that I was at a disadvantage from day one. Suddenly that seemed silly. Carlisle would have mentioned something like that. He was inviting me over for brunch, perhaps he'd told Esme about catching me and Edward in the infirmary the night before and she connected the dots for him? Carlisle and Esme had figured out who I was. Esme knew that I was at SpecInt, and had invited me to brunch. I picked my jaw up off the floor and grinned. I loved Esme.

"I'd have to get a ride back…"

"Why don't you just pack a bag and I'll drive you to work on Monday?" Carlisle suggested.

I blinked a few times, trying to process the information. Carlisle was inviting me for the weekend.

"If Edward decides to grace us with his presence, you could get some training in as well."

I glanced at Edward. His expression was completely blank. At some point he'd regained his senses and gone back to guarding his mood more carefully.

"I don't have any plans," he volunteered.

"Okay," I agreed.

"Let me give Esme the good news and then I'll drive you to your apartment." Carlisle offered, then left to make his phone call.

Tension settled between Edward and myself without Carlisle as a buffer.

"You jerk," I whispered.

"I know, and I'm sorry," he whispered back.

"You were stalking me?"

"It wasn't on purpose."

"You're trying to tell me that you _accidentally_ assigned me coordinates, and then _accidentally_ jumped?"

He held his hands up, like he was trying to calm a wild animal or shield himself from my wrath.

"The first time I was drunk, and worried about you. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"And after that - because I'm assuming you did this more than once?" I was still whispering but my voice was getting steadily more fierce.

"I'm sorry, it was an invasion of your privacy, but you're like a drug," he said, completely giving up all pretense of trying to keep the conversation from being overheard.

"It's my fault that you invaded my privacy?"

"No, I didn't…"

"Damn it, Edward! How the hell am I supposed to trust you?"

"I'll teach you how to shield yourself," he suggested.

"To what?"

"I'll show you how to keep me out. This weekend, I promise I will show you how to keep me from jumping to you."

"I can keep you away?"

"You can keep any viewer you want away."

I nodded. "I'm still not comfortable. What did you see? Did you see me naked?" I whispered the last part.

"No, no I did not do that. I was with you in the hospital after the accident, and a couple of days after you and Jacob got engaged I followed you around…"

"Wait, how did you know about the engagement?"

He sighed.

"Put it all on the table now, Cullen, or I walk."

"I used a private investigator, one we have a contract with…"

"You had me followed?"

"I had you followed."

"You have pictures?"

"Nothing incriminating… He never watched you when… There's nothing from inside your apartment," he stumbled over the words.

"I can't even… Crap, Edward."

"I'm sorry."

"Yes, you are," I agreed.

He nodded.

I wasn't sure if I could spend another minute near him. I needed space.

"Can Carlisle teach me this shield thing?"

"You'll need two viewers, but he can teach and I can do my part from home."

"I'd just rather not see you again until Monday," I said, trying to hide my emotions from him.

He nodded.

I felt like crying. Perhaps it was just exhaustion taking its toll. It seemed like I could never sleep enough anymore. Maybe it was that I felt betrayed. I got out of the room before the first tear dampened my eyelashes, and went to the ladies room to get myself under control. I was not going to let Edward Cullen rule my emotions.

**~V258~**

Carlisle and I didn't speak beyond a few necessary words until we pulled into the long driveway of the Cullen mansion. The silence wasn't exactly comfortable, but it wasn't completely awkward. It left no doubt in my mind that he had only recently discovered my connection to Edward.

"Thank you for doing this," he said.

I tore my eyes away from the window to look at him.

"What?"

"Esme and Edward's relationship has been strained since you stopped seeing each other."

I snorted. "That's a way to put it…"

It was just wrong on so many levels from the act of leaving without even talking to me, to stealing my things, to spying on me. This was so far beyond two people 'not seeing each other anymore.' Apparently he'd never stopped seeing me though.

I caught a hint of a smile on Carlisle's face.

"My son is a product of his upbringing. I never realized how unstable Elizabeth was…"

"Elizabeth?"

"His mother." He stopped the car in front of the garage, and turned to face me.

"He doesn't talk about her," I said. "I knew Esme wasn't his mom, but we never talked about his real mom."

"She was a good woman, but she was prone to anxiety and depression. Edward and Alice took care of each other," he explained.

"Carlisle," I interrupted. "With all due respect, please don't make excuses for him. He's a grown man, and he's perfectly capable of making logical decisions. What he did was inconsiderate and cowardly."

"I didn't mean to explain away his behavior," he said softly. "I'm sorry that he hurt you."

I shook my head.

"It's not your fault."

"I thought I raised him better, but hindsight is 20-20. No one has ever been willing to tell myself or Esme how things ended between you two. I've made some assumptions based on the way you interact, but I have no way of knowing – "

"If he and Alice didn't tell you, it's not my place."

He nodded.

The garage door opened, pulling our attention to the front of the car. Esme was standing in the garage, hands on her hips, a spatula in one hand, and a vintage looking apron tied around her waist. She scowled at Carlisle.

"It seems that I'm in trouble." He grinned and stepped out of the car.

"Edward's not coming?" she verbally assaulted him the second the door was open.

I decided to help him out a bit, and got out.

"Sorry, Esme, it's my fault. I needed some time away from him."

Esme turned to me and smiled.

"Bella!" She rushed around to hug me. "Look at you! My goodness you're in such good shape!" She pinched at my suddenly more pronounced bicep. "… and beautiful as ever…" she continued to chatter.

I caught Carlisle's eye and he bowed to me in gratitude. Meanwhile, Esme ushered me into the house, and straight into the kitchen. She quickly had me in an apron and situated in front of the stove making sausage gravy. She claimed that she couldn't remember how to make it and that she hadn't had any since I visited with Edward.

"I'm sorry about Edward. If you want him here, I can go. I'm sure that Emmett would come get me – "

"No!" she cut me off emphatically. "I can see Edward anytime. It's been far too long since I've had a fellow cook in the kitchen! " She glanced around and whispered, "Alice is hopeless."

I snorted involuntarily.

"I know you're talking about me." Alice waltzed into the kitchen, grabbed a biscuit from a basket and then proceeded to sit on the counter.

"Get down, Alice," Esme scolded.

"Yes, ma'am." Alice grinned and dropped back down onto her feet. She landed gracefully and flitted over to a chair to watch us cook. "I just don't see any sense in cooking when there are perfectly good restaurants down the street."

"Don't ever move to the country," Esme said, pointing a wooden spoon at her stepdaughter.

"Don't worry, I won't."

"I think it's safe to assume that post zombie apocalypse, Alice and Jasper will be among the first to starve," I joked.

"No, we'll trade our services protecting some small town from bandits." The pixie smirked, and picked apart her biscuit.

I turned back to the stove and resumed stirring the sausage. It smelled so good. I couldn't remember the last time I'd made gravy.

"Bella!" Jasper called from the doorway. "I thought I heard you in here."

"Guilty as charged," I responded. "I was, indeed talking in the kitchen."

"Bella's here," he called over his shoulder.

Emmett appeared behind Jasper. "Bella!"

"Hi Emmett." I was wondering if the whole team had come to breakfast except for Edward. "Where's Rose?"

"I think she's home sleeping." Emmett shrugged and pushed past Jasper to watch me cook.

I added some flour to the pot and started to stir.

"Aren't you going to drain off the fat?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, it's gravy and this sausage isn't that fatty. Look, there's barely enough to absorb this flour." I tilted the pan to show him and continued to stir.

"Is that nitrate free?" he asked Esme.

"Yes, Emmett," she groaned.

"Why isn't Rose here?" Carlisle piped up from the corner. I hadn't even heard him come in.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Emmett answered.

"Better question," Alice addressed the room. "Where's my brother?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," I said. I could feel myself blushing, so I turned and suddenly became very interested in the slowly browning flour in the pan. The color was right to add milk, so I whisked it in, thankful that I had an excuse not to interact with the rest of the room.

The subject of those missing from what was apparently the usual brunch party was quickly dropped. I wondered how many times they'd done this without me. Was I only invited because Carlisle figured out who I was? I felt a little left out, like the rest of them might not want me there.

I tuned out the rest of the room and focused on my gravy. When it was finished I ladled it into a large dish Esme had placed next to me. Esme directed me to take it out to the dining room and put it on the sideboard. The gravy was apparently last. She'd already laid out a spread that included little sandwiches, fresh fruit, eggs, biscuits, and too many other items. It was obvious that Alice picked up a couple of platters at the grocery store.

The doorbell rang, and Alice danced past me to answer it. She came back with Eleazar, Carmen, and Maggie. They made apologies for Kate, who was still asleep. It seemed that most of SpecInt had brunch at the Cullen house.

A few minutes later I was introduced to a woman name Irina. She was a friend of Edward and Alice's from their childhood. Her mother and Carlisle worked together, and I gathered from her closeness to Carmen that she was CIA as well.

The subject of work was carefully avoided. I resorted to being a wallflower. I watched everyone interact, and ate as much of Esme's food as I could. I'd forgotten how much I loved real food. I really had to get to a grocery store without Emmett. Watching the group interact was amusing. Emmett and Jasper spent most of the time huddled together. Carlisle, Carmen, Irina, and Eleazar formed their own little group, and Esme, Maggie, and Alice seemed to shift between the other two conversations. I took it all in like a tennis match.

I figured out that Maggie was related by marriage to Irina, who was Carmen's cousin. Eleazar and Carlisle had worked together before SpecInt, and Emmett was Maggie's second cousin once removed. They were all family.

"I told you we were all related," Emmett said quietly over coffee and dessert.

"I know, I just didn't expect it."

"I think Carlisle always hoped that Edward would marry Irina or Maggie, but neither of them were ever interested in him. Maggie doesn't date because she finds it difficult to overlook the little white lies people tell, and Irina might not be interested in guys at all. I'm not sure. She's shot me down pretty quickly the few times I asked her out," Emmett babbled.

"And that makes her a lesbian?" I asked.

Maggie tilted her head towards me. She'd heard me and was trying to listen discreetly.

"Of course," Emmett answered.

I rolled my eyes and ate a rather large piece of cake to avoid talking. He smirked at me and went back to his conversation with Jasper. They were discussing the upcoming football season.

Maggie grinned at me, and I smiled back.

**~V258~**

When the plates were empty and the table cleared everyone but Jasper and Alice left. Emmett offered me a ride home.

"Esme and Carlisle invited me to stay for the weekend."

Emmett was shocked. "Really?"

"Yeah, Carlisle asked me this morning. We're going to do some training."

Emmett nodded, and pulled me into a friendly hug.

"Don't work too hard. Make sure you relax a bit too."

"I will."

I waved at Emmett as he drove away. I took the opportunity to sit on the porch for a bit. I was still sleepy from the night before. I wondered if it would be rude to take a nap. I was heading in to ask Esme where she wanted me to sleep so that I could put my bag away and get some rest when Alice bumped into me.

"What did he do?" She grabbed me around the wrist with her strong little hand, and practically dragged me to her childhood bedroom.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Edward. What did he do?" she asked impatiently.

"He's been spying on me," I said.

She nodded.

"You knew?"

"I assumed. He has some pretty serious ethical problems," she said.

"This whole family has some serious ethical problems," I said.

"At some point, I'll find a way to make this right."

I sighed and extracted myself from her grip.

"I assume that Esme put me in the spare room?" I asked.

"I don't think so." Alice scrunched her eyebrows together. "She's been doing a lot of charity work, and most of the guest rooms have been taken over with supplies for one thing or another."

"Oh."

Carlisle knocked on the door frame.

"There you are!" He smiled and hefted my overnight bag. "I need to get some rest before we attempt any training. I assume that you might need a nap as well?"

"Yes, please."

"Esme made the bed in Edward's room for you. I hope you don't mind," he said.

I kind of did mind, but I wasn't going to make a big deal about it.

"It's fine."

"Good, let's get you settled then." Carlisle smiled. He looked like an older, happier Edward. My heart clenched just l a little.

Alice hugged me and kissed my cheek before I could stop her. I patted her back awkwardly, then followed Carlisle down the hall to Edward's room. It was exactly the same as I remembered it. Carlisle dropped my bag on the bed and excused himself.

With the door closed, I looked around and contemplated going through Edward's things. However, the bed called to me. I laid down on it. It was even more comfortable than I remembered. I drifted off to sleep with my shoes on.

**~V258~**

"You're not even trying, Swan."

"Yes, I am," I protested.

"Listen, either you want to learn this or you don't, and if you don't I'd appreciate it if you'd give up now so I can salvage some of my evening," Carlisle complained.

Everyone told me that he was difficult. I'd been warned by almost everyone that I didn't want him training me, and after an hour with him I knew why.

"It's like a gold net, Bella. Surround yourself with it."

I'd heard the description before. I'd tried to block Edward several times already and I couldn't do it. He had me jump to a shielded target so I could see what it looked like. I was just having trouble creating the same gold dome around myself. Edward always seemed to find a way to crash through it.

I could hear Edward talking to his father on the phone. Carlisle wasn't listening but I caught the instruction.

"_Tell her to center herself first, then make the net. If she holds part of her consciousness centered to hold it in place, she'll get it…"_

Even though I was furious with Edward I followed his instructions . It seemed like he was the only one who knew how to talk to me and make me understand what I needed to do. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, found that sense of calm that I needed, and cast a gold mesh dome around myself. It shimmered and cast the reflection of the room back at itself. Holding it in place, I opened my eyes.

"Again," I said.

Carlisle nodded and passed word on to Edward. I held the shield in place and waited. I was afraid to talk for fear that I wouldn't be able to keep it in place with the slightest distraction. Carlisle had the phone to his ear. Suddenly he nodded.

"He says it's like you've completely disappeared. He can't even see the shield, you're just gone." Carlisle relayed the message. "Try pushing it out beyond yourself and see if you can move him."

I nodded and reached out with the part of my mind holding the shield. I stretched it out, pushing it to include Carlisle, then the room, slowly out to the edges of the house.

"Very good," Carlisle said. "You've pushed him out to the lawn. Release the shield. Edward wants to try something."

I let go of the image and felt something snap back at me. Suddenly, I felt Edward in the room.

"Whoa," I said, shaking my head.

"What's wrong?" Carlisle pulled the phone from his ear to address me.

"Edward's here."

"Yes."

"I can kind of feel him, like he's standing right there." I pointed to the air next to Carlisle.

"Edward, are you next to me?" Carlisle asked. There was a pause while he waited for Edward to answer. "He says you're pointing right at him."

"Weird," I mumbled.

"It's unusual, but not unheard of, especially since you're expecting him to be here."

I nodded.

"Now, I want you to try and put up your shield."

I went through the same steps as before. It was a bit more difficult, more like blowing up a balloon than simply putting up a dome. Eventually, I got it in place.

"Edward?" Carlisle called into the phone.

I looked around the room, and could no longer feel him near.

"He says you've pushed him out."

I nodded, and released the shield.

"It looks like you have this down," Carlisle said and returned to the phone conversation to Edward. "Thank you, son. We'll talk about it later… Yes, I feel she shows enormous potential… Monday. Be safe." He hung up.

I stood from the armchair in Carlisle's study, sensing that the lesson was over.

"Very good, Bella." He smiled. "I think you picked that up faster and better than anyone else. The fact that you could regain the shield after dropping it is particularly phenomenal."

I nodded, dumbly. What could I say? Carlisle had spent an hour tearing me down, and as soon as the lesson ended he complimented me.

"Thanks," I said.

Carlisle chuckled and led me down the hall back to the kitchen with his hand on my shoulder. Esme was finishing a salad and had laid out what looked like leftovers from the week. With nothing else to do, I pulled away from Carlisle and grabbed water glasses.

"Just set them on the counter, Bella," Esme said. "Dinner will be casual."

By casual she meant that she didn't set the table for dinner. There were no placemats or cloth napkins, but everyone still ate together. Alice and Jasper showed up a within seconds of Esme putting the final touches on her salad. We each grabbed a plate and helped ourselves. The five of us settled down at the kitchen table.

"Alice!" Esme started the conversation rolling. "You haven't told Bella about how you met Jasper have you?"

"No, we've been so busy…"

…and I hadn't asked. I was still keeping some distance between us.

"Jasper's version is funnier," Alice supplied.

"You want _me_ to tell it?" Jasper looked at his wife incredulously.

She nodded.

"Alright, darlin', but the peanut gallery's closed." He grinned at her. Alice was sure to interject at some point. "She was this pretty little thing, just off The Farm. I walked past her in the lunchroom and she grabbed my arm. She looked me right in the eye and said –"

"Well, you're certainly hard to find. Don't you know it's rude to keep your fiancé waiting," Alice said.

Jasper sighed at the interruption. "I thought she was completely off her rocker, but she was pretty enough. I sat down and got acquainted since we were supposed to be engaged and all. She told me that I wouldn't really know how much I wanted her until something bad happened. I shrugged it off, and went back to work. We ate together for about a week before she shipped out with a team to do recon in Afghanistan."

"I don't like to think about that part," Alice interjected.

"Neither do I, darlin'. Neither do I."

"I dreamed about Jasper for years. I knew that he was mine. I looked for him everywhere."

I remembered a sketch in Alice's apartment.

"You drew him," I said. "There was a sketch by your computer."

"Yes, and I'd almost given up on finding him when he walked into the lunchroom."

"Who's telling this story?" Jasper asked.

"You are, dear."

"I met Edward after she went missing, and the only thing I could think to tell him was that I was marrying his sister."

"Wait," I stopped them. "Alice went missing?"

"No one told you," Esme said, shocked.

"No. When did you go missing?" I turned on Alice.

Alice had the decency to look sheepish. Carlisle got up and filled two glasses with scotch from the liquor cabinet. He handed one to Jasper.

"It was in January of 2008. I had been assigned to James Hunt's team. We were in Afghanistan. We're fairly certain that he and the rest of the team double crossed me. I don't remember much of anything. I was found on the other side of the country pretty badly beaten. Edward didn't tell you he was leaving town?"

"No," I said quietly. "You don't remember anything?"

"Not really." She grimaced. "Every once in a while I think I do but it floats away."

I couldn't think of anything to say. Jasper and Carlisle had both already downed their drinks. The silence hung around us for a few moments. Carlisle was eyeing the liquor cabinet again. Something had to be done.

"Esme, how did you and Carlisle meet?"

"She arrested me," Carlisle said, pointing a finger at his wife.

"You were trespassing," she laughed.

"Esme was an MP," Alice said under her breath.

I nodded.

"I was retrieving valuable data for the CIA."

"On _my_ base in the middle of the night," she said, pointing a finger right back at him.

"If you'd called your CO…"

"You were in black and wearing night vision goggles. I honestly thought it was a prank!"

"I was not. Those were jeans and I had on a dark shirt…"

"You had a ski mask!" Esme shouted.

"My balaclava was on top of my head, rolled up, thank you," Carlisle pointed to an imaginary hat on his head.

"Number one, who actually wears a balaclava, and two, who calls it that?" She shrieked.

"It was cold!" Carlisle yelled.

"We need to get out of here," Jasper whispered.

I cocked my head to the side. The argument continued to escalate. Esme and Carlisle both stood, and started to get into each other's faces. My eyes went wide.

"It's foreplay, they're going to…" Jasper leaned in so I could hear him better.

_Oh my!_

They were kissing. Jasper grabbed Alice, then me, and ushered us out of the room.

"Wow…"

"Yeah, this is a pretty common occurrence for them." Alice giggled.

We practically ran up the stairs. Jasper and Alice excused themselves. I couldn't stop laughing. I giggled all the way into Edward's room and flopped on the bed.

I stopped giggling when I saw a text message on my phone. It was from Edward:

_I don't know if he told you, but I've never seen anyone form a shield like that. Good Job._

* * *

**End Note:**

I'm sorry for the delay. Like I said, we've hit the predicted lag. I'm desperately seeking time to write. I have the next chapter going. Right now I'm connecting the dots until we get to the next major piece of action.

My friend died this past week, in addition to all sorts of other family drama. They buried her today. Also, my mother is having surgery, so I might be on the road again. Maybe I'll hook up my mic and voice recognition software if I get to drive without the big kids.

*hugs to all*

I've been reading reviews, I promise. Just not much time and energy on my hands.


	29. Chapter 28 Challenge

**A/n:** I'd like to thank y'all, my wonderful readers for your patience. I have sat down several times to write a chapter three (or more) chapters away from this one to work, only to realize that these were necessary to get through first. It's been a bumpy few months.

Also, huge thanks are owed to loss4words who dropped everything to 6,000 or so words over the course of two chapters this morning.

It's been requested that I do a recap. It was too long to put here, so I dropped it onto my rarely used blog, Katsfics on blogspot. (I tried to do the link thing where you insert parenthesis instead of "." but ff seems to have gotten wise to that.)

If you were all good little girls and boys last year maybe I'll get some bonus material posted over there soon.

* * *

**Bella**

_28 June 2010 SpecInt Headquarters, MD_

I was dog tired and covered in sweat. We were both short of breath, but still circling each other. I watched carefully looking for her next move. Her right arm twitched and I prepared to block left. Then, she kicked me. I blocked her, earning a grunt as she spun back away from me before coming back in.

Alice very nearly took me to the floor with a kick that looped behind my knee. I barely managed to shift my weight backwards and pull away. While she was off balance I kicked her in the stomach with my already lifted leg. The moment my foot connected with her padded stomach she went down.

"Well done, Bella!" Jasper cheered.

"Hey!" Alice protested. He stepped behind her and whisked her up and onto her feet. She giggled.

My heart clenched, and I wanted to leave. They were being affectionate again, and now that Rosalie and Emmett had decided to make their courtship official I was surrounded by disgustingly sweet people every day.

Edward and I kept as much distance from each other as we possibly could. He handed all of my non-RV training over to the others. I was disappointed and relieved. I had difficulty trusting everyone, but mostly him. I actually shielded myself in the shower.

He was very professional whenever we had to work together. I stopped taking his sandwich at lunch. We took turns attending Saturday brunch. I'd slept in his room once more. As much as I liked the Cullen house, and having access to a pool and a real kitchen over the weekends, sleeping in Edward's room was awkward. It smelled like him, and I always felt a bit like I was invading his privacy by being there.

"I'm just going to go get cleaned up," I excused myself and headed for the shower. I really had to stop thinking about Edward.

Unfortunately, he was waiting for me outside the locker room when I finished. He looked good, too. I mentally kicked myself again for noticing. It was stupid, and I felt like an idiot for thinking about it. He wasn't interested. If he had been, then that kiss weeks before would have meant something. He would have made a move.

"Change of plans," he announced.

I gave him a questioning look.

"I've had a piss poor morning, and we're taking a field trip."

"Okay," I said.

He led me to his car. Edward wasn't driving a Volvo any longer. He'd upgraded to a Porsche 911 Carrera. I wasn't a car girl but even I knew that it was impressive.

We both hesitated at the passenger door. It was like he couldn't decide whether or not to open the door. I finally reached out and grabbed the handle. He nodded to himself and moved around to his side.

We drove in silence to an office building. He parked, turned to me, and held up a Cross pen.

"Your assignment is to leave this pen on Irina's desk, and take one of her business cards."

"Irina? As in CIA Irina?"

"Her non official cover - or NOC - is in sales for IM Software. The job keeps her 'out of town 'most of the time, so she's rarely in the office."

I nodded.

"If you get past security, I'll let you drive back to the office."

I really wanted to drive the car.

"I'm not supposed to drive, Edward. You know that. They took my license back in Georgia."

"I have a friend." He grinned at me and handed over a driver's license. I took a close look at it, and found all of my information but it was for Maryland.

"Is this real?" I asked.

"Real enough."

"You'll let me drive your car with this?"

"If you can get that pen on Irina's desk."

"What's the catch?"

"Are you chicken, Swan?"

He looked perfectly serious.

"There has to be some issue with getting in there, or you wouldn't offer to let me drive the car," I said.

"Well, security is kind of tight," he confessed. "They've had an industrial espionage scare recently."

I nodded. That was the catch.

"If I get caught?"

"I'll have to call Irina to get you out of there before the police are called and return her pen in person. Which wouldn't be ideal since she's at Langley today."

"Understood. Any recommendations as to how I should do this?"

"No, this is a critical thinking exercise. If I told you how to do it I'd be defeating to point of the exercise."

He slipped a pin into my hand.

"What's this?"

"A bug, so I'll know when you get in trouble."

"You're pretty confident that I'm failing, aren't you?"

"No one's gotten in yet."

"How many times have you tried?"

"We've used this particular office as a training ground for a few years, as long as this has been Irina's NOC. I couldn't get in."

I smiled at him, rolled up my skirt a bit, unbuttoned the top button of my blouse, and got out of the car. I was _going _to drive the Porsche.

I checked the company directory on my way into the building. IM software was on the 6th floor. I pulled a random name off of the list without even pausing. The security guard glanced up at me as I walked through the lobby. I studied the elevators quickly, it looked like a key card was necessary to get on one.

"Hi," I addressed the guard.

"Morning," he grunted.

"I'm here to see Drew Freeman with IM software, can I just go up, or…?"

"Name?"

"Isabell Johnson, I'm a sales rep." I extended my hand, the guard didn't shake it. I leaned a bit closer to him while he tapped keys on his workstation.

"Miss Johnson, you're not on the list of expected visitors."

"Oh, I wouldn't be. I just got the job two days ago." I caught a reflection of the screen he was looking at in his glasses. I just so happened to read the name Phillip Henderson. "I'm taking over for Phil Henderson."

He relaxed minutely. I had him.

"What happened to Phil?"

I leaned in even closer, fully aware that if he glanced down he'd be looking right down my shirt. "They're considering him for a big promotion. I don't think he knows about it yet." I smiled conspiratorially.

The guard smiled and then looked down at my chest. He froze for a moment. I looked down and acted surprised to see that my cleavage was on full display. I stood and adjusted my shirt.

"Sorry," I said, sounding embarrassed.

He blushed, "No, that's fine. Let me call Mr. Freeman."

"Thanks," I said.

He punched a few buttons on the phone in front of him and waited a moment. "Mr. Freeman? This is Adam downstairs. I have a new rep for CMD solutions here to see you." He paused. I held my breath. "No, she says Phil is getting promoted. Yeah… yeah… okay." He hung up the phone and directed his attention back at me. "He's sending an intern down for you. Please put your cell phone in the basket." He set a plastic basket on the counter between us. I fished out my phone and dropped it in.

I smiled and stepped toward the elevators but he stopped me.

"I'm really sorry but I have to search your purse."

_Crap._

If he looked at my ID, I was screwed.

"Oh, no problem." I smiled again. If I acted suspicious, then I was going to get caught. I handed over my purse.

He carefully took it from me. He was uncomfortable.

"It must be interesting seeing what people carry in their handbags," I said.

"Honestly, it's a bit uncomfortable," he responded.

"Really?" I asked, pretending to be dismayed. "I think you find out a lot about a person by what they carry around. It's kind of intimate."

He blushed a very deep red. I smiled.

"It's fine," I said and placed my hand on the counter close to his, not quite touching.

He pulled a couple of items out, including my wallet, but didn't really open anything. The elevator dinged open behind him and he quickly tucked everything back, and handed me my purse.

"Thank you, Miss Johnson," he said.

"Thanks," I responded. The intern was waiting for me, holding the door open with one very white, very thin hand. Everything about the kid was skinny. I slipped into the elevator next to him and stood slightly closer than necessary. "Good morning!"

In the interest of full disclosure I was doing an impression of my high school frenemy, Jessica. I'd used this particular tactic on multiple occasions to get information. The trick was to be likable, somewhat sexy, and yet still marginally forgettable. It would work so long as I dealt with men. Women didn't respond well to the Jessica character. They tended to be more accepting of someone whom they viewed as slightly less attractive than themselves, yet still in their league. It was about bonding with them. Guys were so much easier.

The kid made a noise that sounded something like "Hello" and swiped his card on the control panel next to the buttons. Then he pressed six. I relaxed a bit. I'd been worried that I hadn't read the directory correctly since I was trying to appear inconspicuous.

"You're an intern?"

"Ye-a-ah," he replied quietly and slowly, like he wasn't used to talking to anyone.

"Do you think you'll get a job here at the end of your internship?" I tried to make small talk but he wasn't giving me anything to work with.

"Maybe."

I restrained myself from sighing. I needed to get him comfortable enough that I could grab his card just in case I needed it to get into Irina's office.

"So, you're in college?"

"No."

I nodded, and gave him a tight lipped smile. This was not going to work.

I smacked my lips a little and then made to smell my breath. I grimaced. "Do you have a mint or some gum?"

"Um, I think so…" He started patting his pockets. The doors opened as he pulled out a small package of sugar free gum and handed me a piece. "Here," he said.

We stepped forward off of the elevator together and I 'tripped' snatching his card off his belt while he was occupied rescuing me and giving me gum. I slid the card into my pocket, unwrapped the gum and popped it in my mouth.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

We awkwardly stood just outside the elevator for a moment. I needed to get away from him so that when he realized he'd lost his ID, he wouldn't blame me for it.

"Mr. Freeman's office?"

"Oh, it's over there." He directed me towards a corner office on the far side of the room.

"Thanks again." I waved and walked off toward the office. He quickly caught up with me.

"I'm supposed to stay with you," he said.

I didn't know what I was going to do. I needed to lose him, and find Irina's office. I had no idea what I was supposed to be selling. I couldn't go in and talk to this Freeman guy, because he knew what I was supposed to be there for and I didn't.

**Edward**

I'd expected the bug to stop working when she reached the elevator, and it did. The problem being that it should have started transmitting again when she got out of it. It didn't. I panicked.

I couldn't follow her up. Quite frankly, I was shocked that she'd gotten past the lobby. Tanya hadn't been able to get that far. The security guard shut her down fast. Bella on the other hand instinctively knew how to work the guard. I could only assume that she'd be able to manipulate the intern they'd sent down to her as well. I didn't know what she planned on doing once she got up on the floor. She'd need to gain access to Irina's office, and that would prove difficult.

I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel, I wanted to pace, but pacing the parking lot would draw attention.

It turned out that I was worried needlessly. Twenty long minutes of playing games on my phone later and she walked out the front door. She was grinning from ear to ear. I'd expected her to fail. Everyone failed this particular test, but there was Bella Swan, clearly triumphant emerging from the building.

She opened my door, threw Irina's card at me and started tapping her foot. I checked the card. It wasn't a trick, somehow she'd made her way into Irina's office. I knew because these were different than the ones she handed out. The cards on her desk had her number at Langley listed as her cell. The one in my hand was one of those.

"Okay, how?" I asked.

"Get out of the car, Cullen."

"How did you do it?"

"A lady never gives up her secrets."

"Ladies give up their secrets all the time. How did you get in there, _Swan_?"

"A bet is a bet, now kindly vacate the driver's seat and let me drive."

"Fine." I sighed and handed over her new fake drivers license. It wasn't that Bella was a bad driver, it was just that the Porsche was mine, and it's hard to hand over the keys to anyone. I extracted myself from the car and got into the passenger seat while she was busy re-adjusting her seat and mirrors.

The drive back to SpecInt wasn't bad. Bella had always been a fairly conscientious driver. The fact that it wasn't even lunchtime helped as well. There were fewer people on the road. Still, she kept turning to look at me and laughing since I was gripping my pants so tightly that my knuckles were white.

"Honestly, Cullen, I'm going maybe two miles over the speed limit," she laughed.

We'd started doing that lately, calling each other by our last names. It wasn't unlike being stabbed in the heart on a daily basis. We were so far away from a relationship that we weren't even bothering with first names anymore. It was all "Cullen" and "Swan" and formality. I was avoiding her.

My stepmother on the other hand was pulling Bella in closer. This was evidenced by the fact that my room at Carlisle and Esme's house carried the faint scent of Bella on the sheets. I could have washed them, and I probably should have but that was as close as I was getting to her. I would change them before her weekend, so that she would be none the wiser, but I really was a sick sick man.

Esme had asked if there was any way that we could reconcile enough to do brunch together. I really didn't know how Bella would feel about that or if she'd want more space. I wanted to let her have whatever time she needed, but I really wanted to drop the formality, let her know that I still loved her, and ask her to marry me and have a bunch of kids. I didn't see that happening anytime in the near future.

"Can I drive her on the track?" Bella asked after we checked in at the guard shack.

"You're asking if you can take my baby out on the defensive driving course?"

She bit her lip and hesitated, "I wouldn't have to run the course, just the track."

"You want to drive fast, don't you?"

"It's a Carrera," she said as if that explained everything.

I just stared at her.

"She's made for racing. You've neglected her. She wants someone to make her go fast," she whispered seductively. I found myself nodding, because that's what I did when Bella Swan talked to me in that voice. It was a conditioned response, caused by a lack of blood flow to my brain.

That was how I found myself teaching Bella evasive maneuvers in a car I'd never let anyone else drive. She caught on fast just like she did with most things we were trying to teach her. I was fairly certain that she was going to be a better spy than I was.

* * *

**End Note:**

Thank you all for reading. I appreciate those of you who have stuck around and your thoughts and prayers. Things seem to be looking up at the moment.


	30. Chapter 29 Just Friends

**A/n:** Thanks to loss4words for editing, and to all of you who reviewed the last chapter. Y'all're awesome.

* * *

**Bella**

_Virginia 2 July 2010_

The first thing I did after my very brief evasive driving lesson with Edward was buy a car. I found a somewhat worse for wear Jetta on a used car lot in Bethesda. It took several days and a few arguments with a local mechanic to get it running, but by the weekend I officially had my own set of wheels. It wasn't my week for brunch, and for once I didn't feel lonely or abandoned. I went out and bought groceries and a couple of DVDs. I passed the weekend with a Colin Firth marathon.

Mid-week I made cookies in my newly stocked kitchen and took them out to Carlisle and Esme's house. Carlisle had been called away to deal with a "situation" at the Pentagon, which seemed to mean some form of trouble with Dimitri's group.

"_Bella!" she greeted me at the door before I even rang the bell and pulled me in for a hug. I was still getting used to being close with her again. Carlisle and Esme seemed like the only ones whom I could legitimately trust._

_I presented her with the plate of cookies._

"_Are these oatmeal snicker doodle?" she cooed, taking the plastic container out of my hands and opening it. She ushered me into the house and led me down the hall to the kitchen. "Care to keep me company for dinner? Carlisle phoned; he won't be home until late."_

"_Sure." I took a seat at the counter and watched her put the finishing touches on the meal. The table was already set for two, so there was nothing left for me to do. _

_Dinner was fun. Esme was more like an older sister than the boss' wife. We chatted and joked. She insisted that I try out at least one glass of the wine she was trying out with dinner. I blamed the glass of wine for what happened next._

"_You have to come to the party this weekend," she insisted._

"_Party?"_

_Esme nodded, "Every year we have a house party for the fourth. I've cleaned out the bedrooms and opened up the guesthouse. Everyone stays the whole weekend."_

"_Everyone?"_

"_It'll be fun. Emmett always pretends like he can tend bar, but he has to look up drinks in the guide I keep behind the counter, Alice and Jasper smuggle in some illegal fireworks, Carlisle pretends to be upset… It's always a good time," she explained._

"_I don't know…"_

"_Do you have plans?" she asked, disappointed._

"_Um, no…"_

"_Then come. If there's nothing urgent at the office, Carlisle will probably send you all home early anyway."_

"_Okay," I agreed._

That is exactly how I found myself driving my 'new to me' Jetta out to Virginia on back roads on the Friday before a major holiday. It struck me at work the next morning that Edward would be there all weekend. I wasn't sure how that was going to go.

I wasn't sure how it started but in an effort to distance ourselves we'd been using last names, the only problem with this was the way he said "Swan." It was like a dare. Like he wanted me to cross the line, break, and kiss him. I was probably imagining it, but on my end the sexual tension was becoming its own separate being. I needed to give it a name, like George.

George was making things awkward. You never realize the number of times in a day that you're close enough to kiss someone until you can't. It was painful. The George situation was beginning to depress me. At some point Edward was going to start dating someone and George and I were going to have to deal with it. Maybe I needed to relax a bit a relieve George somehow. I had a few ideas, but none of them seemed satisfying.

I pulled into the mansion's driveway right behind Edward's Porsche, which was sad since he'd left after me and was picking up Irina from some undisclosed location. I parked behind them in the circular drive out front and watched as they exited the car. Combined they were painfully gorgeous. He met her at the front bumper and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She reciprocated with one around his waist. George silently stabbed me in the heart.

Then, Irina looked back at my car, stopped and beckoned me forward. There was no way out, I was going to have to be social. I grabbed my overnight bag off of the passenger seat and slid out of my car, not bothering to lock it. I was fairly certain that my car would be the last target for thieves over the weekend.

When I caught up with them, Irina slipped her free hand in mine, and I was suddenly connected to the gross display of affection. Emmett had told me that they weren't involved, but their body language said otherwise.

"So, I see that you are the first to ever complete my challenge successfully," she said.

I blinked at her for a moment before it occurred to me. "Oh, the pen," I said.

"Yes, my dear, the pen."

I grinned sheepishly.

"She refuses to tell me how she did it," Edward complained.

"You're just not asking properly," Irina giggled. I had a feeling that I was missing something. "Your interrogation technique needs work, we could fix that."

"Maybe later," Edward said, unamused.

"Oh, don't be such a grump," she teased.

I felt like a third wheel, and if Irina hadn't grabbed my hand, I would have already extracted myself from the conversation.

"Bella somehow managed to sweet talk my intern into opening my office, and I for one would like to know what she said."

I turned beet red, and tripped. The thing is that I worked the boy over a bit, convinced him that I was _seeing_ Irina, and got him to let me into the office. Then I pretended to have forgotten my portfolio and high tailed it the heck out of there. I didn't want to tell Edward because it seemed cheap. Part of me felt like he'd be disappointed and that same part cared what he thought.

"Oh, it must have been good," Irina said, taking in my red face and sudden lack of coordination. I kind of hated her.

"No comment," I mumbled.

Edward leaned back a bit behind Irina and looked at me, puzzled.

"I got the job done; no one ever said I had to divulge _how_ I did it."

Irina laughed. "You've got a lot to learn, girly."

Fortunately, Alice rescued me from Irina as soon as we got in the door.

"Esme's looking for you!"

I breathed a sigh of relief and barely managed not to say 'Thank God' out loud.

"Kitchen?"

"Yep."

I thankfully extracted myself from Irina's clutches with minimal damage from her claws and made my way to the kitchen. Just being there with Esme made me relax. It was like nothing ever existed beyond the meal at hand. I dropped my bag by the door and started slicing strawberries without being asked.

**~V258~**

I managed to avoid Edward until dinner. He and Irina were all up close and personal again. It didn't seem right since Emmett thought she was a lesbian, but I'd never seen her and Edward together before. If she was gay, Edward was her beard. Did lesbians have beards? I wasn't sure what one would call that. Either way, they were apparently super close, and touchy. One of them was always touching the other. I was inexplicably angry about the whole thing. I blamed George.

There were drinks after dinner, and at some point I was introduced to a Cullen family friend named Liam. I was fairly certain that he was British Secret Service, given his accent. He found the fourth of July amusing. He was tall with dark hair that was starting to gray, and I was pretty sure he was a bit older than Edward, but he was still painfully attractive. The man obviously took care of himself. I shamelessly took George out on him.

"So, how long have you known the Cullen's?" he asked.

"I've known Edward, Alice, and Esme for a few years," I answered, kicking off my sandals and putting my feet into his lap poolside.

He looked puzzled.

"We had a falling out. I just met Carlisle and Jasper a couple of months ago," I elaborated.

He nodded and started rubbing my feet. The man knew his way around a foot massage.

"How long have you known them?"

"Longer than I'd like to admit to someone your age." He winked. "Carlisle has saved my arse a few times."

"Your _arse_?"

"Yes, it's an _arse_, silly American girl."

I laughed at him. He tickled my feet and I started to kick. This led to him pinning my ankles together in one hand and tickling the back of my knees.

"Oh my gosh! Stop!" I yelled, giggling uncontrollably.

"You should let her go," Edward said icily from over my shoulder.

I felt my stomach drop into my feet. All of the buoyancy I'd felt from the laughing was suddenly gone and replaced by a kind of somber guilt that I couldn't shake. It pissed me off that I felt guilty having a moment with this perfectly attractive guy just because Edward was in the room.

"We're just playing, wee Cullen."

"You shouldn't play with her," Edward snapped.

Liam stared Edward down until he left, and then turned to me.

"What was that about?"

"I'm not entirely sure," I responded.

"That lad sure can ruin a mood."

I nodded, and took a swig of my beer.

"Are you alright, gorgeous?" he asked.

"I'm fine."

"That you are, but I was inquiring about your heart, not your body."

I snickered and half-heartedly kicked him.

"Girls like you shouldn't be so sad. There's more good than bad in this world, and I daresay you haven't been exposed to your fair share of the bad yet. You can't be getting down before you've seen enough of the bad to make you bitter," he said.

"I'm not bitter or sad really."

"Broken hearted over the Cullen kid then?"

"He's a good ten years older than me, and I qualify as an adult," I informed him.

"I knew Carlisle when the boy was in diapers. He will always be a kid to me, and a bratty one at that."

I smiled. So, he was significantly older than Edward, possibly not Carlisle's age. He didn't look it.

"C'mere," he said and spread his arms out.

I climbed over into his lap, and avoided looking at Edward. Liam stroked my hair.

"He's a stupid boy, Bella. If he can't see you for the woman you are then he's not worth it."

I nodded.

**~V258~**

_Virginia 3 July 2010_

Liam was my buddy for the following day. We swam together, played on the same football team, and he helped me and Esme in the kitchen. He'd stopped flirting with me after the incident with Edward. It was like he knew I was too damaged.

Edward cornered me at around three o'clock.

"Do you know anything about him, Swan?"

"No, I don't, Cullen."

"Then why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you spending every minute with an assassin?"

"He's an assassin?" I laughed.

"Liam is former British Special Forces, and is now a gun for hire."

"That doesn't make him much different than us then, does it? We do contract work, remember?"

"He's not a nice guy," Edward growled.

I started to walk away and he grabbed my wrist. I pulled and twisted at the correct angle to break free.

"Swan!"

"What, Cullen?"

"I know he's being all friendly, but trust me these guys want one of two things, contacts or sex…"

"What makes you think I have a problem with that?" I asked. He blanched and for about three seconds I felt guilty.

"Because you're young and naïve, and he's an attractive older man giving you attention."

"Honestly, Edward, it's been two years. Do you really think I'm still a virgin?" I snapped.

"I think that you have a thing for older guys…"

"Go to hell," I growled and shoved Edward as hard as I could. He stumbled back a few feet and stared at me, shocked. He hadn't expected that, but he knew his comment was over the line.

I retreated to my bedroom in the main house. My room wasn't near Edward's. Esme cleared out what appeared to be the library. The desk had been pushed up against the wall and a bed erected in the middle of the room. I laid down on it as the tears sprang to my eyes. I didn't know why I still cared what Edward thought, all he ever seemed to do was hurt me.

A few minutes passed and then there was a knock on the door. Liam entered with an ear to ear grin that vanished when he looked at me.

"Gorgeous?"

"It's nothing," I said and plastered on a convincing smile.

"Oh, you're a terrible liar. I don't know why Carlisle hired you."

I chuckled.

"There she is," he said. He crossed the room and sat down on my bed with me, handing me one of the two bottles he was carrying. It was some fancy beer I'd never heard of. I used the underside of the metal bedframe to pop off the cap, and then leaned back to drink it. Liam followed my example.

"Is it the Cullen boy again?"

"I don't know why he won't just leave me alone." I sighed.

"It's because you're beautiful."

"I'm not," I said. "I'm many things, awkward, clumsy, a bit naïve, perhaps pretty, but beautiful is never an adjective people use to describe me." I drained most of my beer while Liam watched.

"You really don't have any idea, do you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I could feel the alcohol hitting my system. I'd already had a couple at lunch, and then another after football. I was trying to figure out how much I'd had to drink. I was feeling kind of warm and relaxed.

"Bella, you're beautiful."

"Listen, Liam, I'm the little sister type. Guys find me cute, not attractive. They want to protect me, and that kind of gets in the way of any sort of a physical relationship from progressing. The only guys who want to sleep with me are complete and utter losers." I polished off my beer and shifted the pillows so I could lie down completely and enjoy the slight dizzy buzz of having just a little too much to drink.

Liam pulled the empty bottle from my fingers. I heard both bottles clink to the floor next to the bed. Then, Liam was on top of me.

"I wasn't going to do this. I told myself that since you and Cullen obviously have some sort of history that I wouldn't get involved, but you are in desperate need of some affection, gorgeous."

He kissed me. It wasn't a closed mouthed gentle kiss. This was heated and passionate. He tasted like expensive beer and man in the best possible way. I wrapped my arms around him. He pulled back slightly and then pushed his hips into mine. I could feel him.

"I want to protect you, gorgeous, but I also want to do dirty things to you."

He dropped his mouth back to mine and shifted his weight just enough to make me gasp. When my mouth opened he took full advantage. It was too good to breathe. He propped himself up on one arm and ran his other hand down my side. I felt tingling warmth spread from his hand into me; it went from my side, across my abdomen and down.

I knew that I should probably be doing something with my hands, but I couldn't do much other than writhe.

**~V258~**

Thirty minutes later we came up for air. I was still fully clothed but more relaxed than I'd been in years. The man knew his way around a woman's body.

"We should probably join the others," he whispered into my hair.

He sat up, holding out a hand to bring me with him. As much as I'd enjoyed myself there were things to be discussed. I wasn't ready for a relationship, especially not while I was staring down a few months' worth of training at The Farm in the near future. This wasn't the right time to start anything.

"Liam…"

He turned to me and grinned.

"Can we keep this casual?" I asked.

"Smart girl," he said, grinning wider. "Business could certainly get in the way of any sort of relationship since we don't work for the same company. We may very well find ourselves competing with each other in the not too distant future."

I nodded. "It would be best not to get attached," I agreed.

"Why don't we just agree that you'll call me anytime you feel unappreciated?" he suggested.

It sounded like a perfectly good idea.

We stood and made for the door, but Liam's phone rang. He pulled it out and glanced at the number, then looked at me. He needed privacy. I squeezed his hand and walked away. He went back into my makeshift bedroom to answer the phone.

When I rejoined the party in the living room, Edward walked away. Irina followed him, of course.

"Bella! Where have you been?" Alice called.

"Just resting," I said and took a seat beside her on the couch.

"Was Liam resting with you?" she whispered.

"Possibly," I giggled.

She grinned and nudged me with her shoulder. "Be careful there."

"We're just friends."

"Ooookay."

She dropped the subject.

Moments later Liam appeared on the steps with his bag. It was obvious that he had a job to do. He motioned for me to follow him out, and I did.

On the front steps he ran a finger along my collarbone and then pulled me close and kissed me.

"For luck," he said.

"You need luck?" I teased.

"Always, gorgeous girl, eighty percent of the job is luck." He winked at me, kissed me again, and said goodbye.

I smiled and turned to walk back inside. Emmett wrapped an arm around me as soon as I made it inside. He handed me some sort of fancy cocktail and ushered me back into the living room. We drank, ate, and played games until dark. At some point Irina and I started doing shots. I childishly tried to one up her until the room started spinning.

I fell asleep on the sofa and woke up in the middle of the night to someone placing me in bed.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Just go back to sleep."

The door closed and I was alone in the dark.

I dreamt of Liam, only he was Edward.

**~V258~**

_Virginia 4 July 2010_

On Sunday morning I woke up hungover. I'd been drinking consistently all weekend, but Saturday night with Emmett mixing my drinks the alcohol caught up with me. I choked down a large glass of water in the bathroom, and hobbled my way to the kitchen to find some ibuprofen.

Edward was there.

"Rough morning?" he whispered.

"Yeah," I croaked.

He passed me the bottle of ibuprofen. I dumped a generous dose into my hand, not really bothering to count how many pills were there, it looked like four. He handed me a glass of water and I downed the pills.

"Esme dragged Carlisle off to church, but there are waffles." He passed me a plate of dry waffles.

I grabbed the butter dish and sat down with them in the darkest corner of the Cullen kitchen, which was still pretty bright. I wasn't sure if I could eat a waffle. My stomach turned just thinking about it. I buttered one waffle and took a small bite.

Edward placed a cup of coffee in front of me, and I had to turn my head from the smell.

He chuckled under his breath.

"Not funny, Cullen."

"Oh, Swan, you need to leave drinking to the professionals."

I flipped him off.

"Irina has the alcohol tolerance of a Russian sailor."

I nodded and regretted it. Irina probably was a Russian sailor.

"She left this morning."

I looked up at him and cocked my head to the side.

"Whatever emergency your Irishman was called away on, the CIA has some stake in as well. They called her in early this morning. She wanted to say goodbye but there was no time, and you were out of it."

"Who moved me last night?"

"I did," he said, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"What's the plan for today?"

"More of the same, and some illegal fireworks after dark. Carlisle's paid off the police chief." He smirked.

That didn't surprise me. Carlisle liked to stretch the rules past the breaking point.

"Soooo, you and Irina?"

"She's my childhood friend."

I gave him a pointed look.

"We're close," he said, sitting down. "Are you and Liam …?"

"We're not together…"

"But?"

"We have an arrangement."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're better than that."

"It's none of your business."

"As your mentor, I'm telling you to be careful."

"As your ex, I'm telling you it's none of your damn business."

"Bella!"

"He makes me feel beautiful."

"You don't need him for that, you are beautiful," he pleaded.

"Cullen, I have needs. You may be pretty good at shutting down your own, and denying mine, but I'm not. Sometimes a girl has to scratch an itch!" I shouted and walked off.

I hid out until I felt well enough to drive. I left a note for Esme, and high tailed it back to my place as quickly as I could.

The grocery store was my only stop on the way home. I grabbed some comfort food, and spent the rest of the day indulging at home. Liam called and asked about the fireworks, I didn't exactly lie when I told him they were great. I was just watching someone else's from my window.

* * *

**End Note:**

So… I'm going to hide now because I don't know how that's going to go over. I was writing and it just came out.


	31. Chapter 30 Blind to What Matters

**A/n:**

I'm sorry this is late this weekend. I've been a horrid combination of sick and busy.

Thanks to loss4words for helping me clean this up. This chapter is going to involve guns. They're spies, it was only a matter of time before we hit the gun range.

* * *

**Bella**

_Bethesda MD 17 July 2010 12am_

There was a knock on my door in the middle of the night. I rolled over and checked the time. I'd been asleep for about an hour. Midnight seemed a bit late for a social call so I grabbed the gun from my nightstand, and padded out to answer the door. I loaded a clip and cocked the gun on my way down the hall.

Liam waved at me through the peep hole. He was standing in the pool of light formed by the complexes security lamp. I took a moment to decock the gun, ejecting the unused bullet, and put on the safety. I opened the door and he stalked forward. I felt a surge of adrenaline and sexual tension. He grabbed me around the waist, swung the door shut, and pressed me up against it.

He kissed me thoroughly. When he came up for air we were both panting.

"Nice Beretta," he commented, slipping the gun from my fingers and setting it on the table.

"Thanks. It was a graduation present."

"Were you going to shoot me, Bella?"

"You _did_ wake me up in the middle of the night."

"Speaking of which… I need a place to stay," he said.

"Why didn't you call Carlisle?"

"I didn't figure the reception would be so warm there at midnight."

I laughed and shoved him off of me. "So, is this a booty call?"

"No," he chuckled. "I have a meeting at Langley in the morning and I need some sleep. I thought you might be willing to let me share your bed."

"I don't know…" I teased. "It's an awfully nice bed. You might owe me something in return."

"Breakfast?" he suggested.

"I wasn't thinking about breakfast…"

He wrapped an arm around my waist and slipped his hand into my tank top. "Appreciation?"

"I could use a bit of that." I let out a shaky breath.

"If you let me sleep here, gorgeous girl, I will worship at your altar."

I laughed, because it was just that bad.

"Yeah, that sounded a might bit better in my head. Personally, I'm going to forget saying it and make you feel beautiful." He slid his hand up further, inhibiting rational thought on my part. In my already drowsy state it didn't take long for him to express his appreciation. Apparently, being sleepy gave me a hair trigger. I drifted off to sleep with his hand still in my pajama pants. He curled into me as I slept.

**~V258~**

_Bethesda MD 17 July 2010 6am_

I woke up relaxed, too warm, and too early. An incessant beeping was driving me crazy. I grabbed my phone and tried to disable the alarm but the noise wouldn't stop.

"It's mine, gorgeous," a groggy male voice behind me said. A very manly arm reached around me and turned off the phone that I hadn't seen next to mine.

"Sorry to wake you," Liam said.

My eyes focused on the time. "It's six, Liam, what the hell?"

"The CIA has a thing for early mornings, not my idea of fun," he apologized and kissed my neck.

He was out of bed and dressing in a flash.

"How long are you in town?" I asked.

"I don't rightly know."

I nodded. That seemed like it was to be expected.

"Are you working with Irina?"

"I can't answer any questions," he said, uncharacteristically serious.

"Sorry." I grimaced.

"Part of the job, gorgeous. I don't ask you and you don't ask me."

I nodded.

"I'll see if we can use you though." He smiled and mussed my hair.

"Only if I can get some sleep," I said.

"Go back to bed, gorgeous."

I drifted back to sleep quickly.

**~V258~**

I woke up hours later to the smell of breakfast and the sound of someone in my kitchen. I opened the bedside drawer only to discover that I didn't replace the Beretta. It was still out on the table next to the door. I decided that since I could smell food that my intruder wasn't intent on killing me.

I righted my pajamas and ventured out to the kitchen. There I was met by Jasper and Emmett. Jasper was cooking, hence it actually smelled like real food, not twigs and berries. When they saw me they both crossed their arms.

"What?" I asked, walking around the counter to get a cup of coffee from the pot.

"Lucy, you have some 'splaining to do," Jasper quipped.

"What?"

"I got a call from the The Company this morning." The Company was spy speak for the CIA.

"Really?" I deadpanned.

"It seems that they need a remote viewer this afternoon, and someone put it into their heads to ask for you. Not Kate or Edward or Rose, or anyone with the slightest experience, but you. Would you like to tell me why?" Jasper handed me a plate of eggs and bacon. Emmett nonverbally voiced his disapproval of breakfast by loudly pouring himself a bowl of cereal from my cabinet.

"No clue."

"Bella," Jasper scolded. "Don't lie to an empath."

"Did you do anything to my food?" I asked.

"No, there's some chili pepper and cheese in the eggs, but nothing designed to exact retribution. I just want to know how you're on their radar."

"Irina, maybe?" I suggested.

"It wasn't Irina."

"Then I'm clueless," I lied.

He took my plate.

"Hey!" I protested.

"Liars don't get my fancy eggs."

"Fine," I sighed. "It could be Liam."

I felt a surge of guilt for lying to Jasper. He cocked his head to the side and seemed to focus on me a bit before handing me back the plate. Then, he kicked Emmett out of the apartment. Emmett took the cereal with him.

"I'll drop this back by later," he muttered around a mouthful of mush.

Jasper swung the door closed and rounded on me.

"What's going on?"

"Liam dropped by… he suggested that they might need a remote viewer on his current assignment."

Jasper sat down at my kitchen table and indicated that I should do the same. I slid my plate in front of the seat opposite of his and sat.

"I need to know the exact nature of your relationship with Liam."

"It's not a relationship…"

"But he slept here?"

I sighed.

"We searched most of your apartment and your toothbrush was wet. Someone other than you used it, unless you woke up early, brushed and went back to sleep."

"Ew," I groaned. Liam and I were going to have a talk about boundaries.

"Are you sleeping together?"

"Yes and no," I said.

"That was clear." Jasper grinned at me.

"We've had a couple of intimate encounters and he slept over last night, but we're not in a relationship."

"Has he tried to recruit you?"

"No."

"Okay," Jasper let out a sigh of relief. "We need to have a little talk about this. Eat your eggs, before they get cold."

I nodded, and started to eat.

"I'm not going to tell you how to live your life or lecture you on with whom you should or should not get involved, but Liam is a little shady. He works for a competing freelance organization, granted he's more into military action than actual intelligence work, but you need to be hyper vigilant about what you say about work around him. He can't know that you're in training, or any of the cases you work on after you're out. You cannot tell him about the Tanya situation."

I nodded. It seemed perfectly reasonable.

"Also, anything he tells you, you need to report back to me."

I looked up and met his eyes. "You want me to provide you with information."

"If he volunteers it."

I felt my body go very cold.

"Also, you need to sweep your apartment for bugs after he leaves," Jasper said.

"You think he would…"

"Yes, he definitely would. He's done it before."

"He has?" I choked.

"At Carlisle and Esme's."

I nodded and frowned.

"It's the game, Bella. I don't doubt that he genuinely likes you, but he will use any information you give him to his advantage. You should do the same."

I didn't like the idea.

Jasper pulled an object out of his pocket that looked like a walkie talkie, only a bit wider.

"You need to check your bedroom. Safe sex is about more than condoms in our world."

Jasper led me back to my room and showed me how the device worked. We scanned my room and found nothing.

"Emmett and I already did the rest of the apartment," he explained. "You need to install a safe and keep that along with anything else work related in it."

"Okay," I agreed.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"It's still okay to like him, just don't give him your heart."

It was the same thing that Liam and I had agreed on. Liam had been relatively up front, and I couldn't fault him, nor could I fault Jasper. This was my world.

**~V258~**

_The Cullen Estate, Virginia 18 July 2010_

I showed up for brunch and was treated to a visit with Liam. He kissed the top of my head in greeting as he passed me in the dining room. He was in the process of setting the table for Esme. I smiled and popped into the kitchen to help. Ten minutes later we had brunch on the table.

All went well until Edward dropped in unexpectedly. He looked frantically at Carlisle and pulled him into the kitchen for some privacy. He spared a glance my way though. Liam had tucked my chair close to his so that I was sitting with my side in contact with him. Edward's eyes narrowed.

After talking to Carlisle he stormed back in and demanded to talk to me in private.

"You cannot be serious!"

"What, Cullen?"

"Liam," he spat.

"It's nothing," I said.

"I just finished the RV job he wanted to toss your way. Care to know what it was?" He raised an eyebrow daring me to ask.

"If you wanna tell me."

"Identifying targets."

"Okay," I said, failing to understand the problem.

"Assassination, Bella, that's what he wanted to bring you in on."

"Okay, but I'm assuming that these weren't necessarily good people…"

"It's beside the point," he yelled. I was positive that the rest of the brunch guests could hear him.

"I'm a big girl, Cullen."

"Fine, _Swan,_ you're all grown up, but you don't get to leave the freaking nest until I okay it, and you are _not_ doing contract work with _him_ ever!"

"After I do my stint at The Farm, you're no longer in charge of me," I whispered, being much more discreet than he was. "I will take whatever Jasper and Carlisle assign me, and you won't have any say over it."

"Damnit!" He yelled and punched the countertop. His eyes shifted to look over my shoulder. I turned and saw Liam.

"You might want to consider using some discretion," Liam said.

"Blow it out your arse, this is none of your business."

"I think it is, as I seem to be the point of contention here."

Edward huffed.

"I asked for Bella's help because she seems to have good instincts and I wanted to have an excuse to read her in on my mission, just in case something happened."

"Something's likely to happen?" I asked.

"Not very likely, but it would have been nice to know you were watching my back, gorgeous," Liam winked.

"Well, you got me," Edward spat.

"Then I supposed I'll have to be cautious."

"Did you really think we would hand Bella _that?_"

"She seems capable enough," Liam said, assessing me.

"You don't know her," Edward muttered.

"I _know_ her just fine. You seem to be the one with a problem seeing the woman for who she is."

"I see her! I know her!" Edward yelled and stormed out of the house through the door to the garage.

I let out a deep breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Is there something I should know going on with the pair of you?" Liam asked.

"Not anymore. It's ancient history."

"Bella, my gorgeous girl, the history there is anything but ancient." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "If I should step aside and let go of our arrangement because you and the Cullen boy have one of your own, then you should let me know."

"Cullen and I have no arrangements," I said.

"Good, because your bed is much more comfortable than my hotel," he joked and led me back into the dining room.

I glanced at Esme, who grimaced, then over to Carlisle who did the same.

"I'll talk to him," Carlisle said, and that was the end of the topic.

**~V258~**

_SpecInt Headquarters, Maryland 21 July 2010_

Edward had been a bear to deal with for two days. He was terse and short and responded with a near violent temper when poked. He'd pushed me hard through two training jumps everyday like he was trying to trip me up and prove something. I'd come out of each of them smelling like roses.

It was only ten and I'd already jumped onceand driven the offensive driving course with Jasper and Emmett. It seemed like Edward was trying to get me off to The Farm as fast as possible since my choice of hookups was offending him.

Liam left Monday morning with a simple "later" serving as the only goodbye between the two of us. I felt surprisingly okay about that. He wasn't mine after all. He was just a friend with benefits. I'd never had one of those before. It was a new and interesting discovery. I wasn't entirely sure I could keep my emotions in check but it seemed doable. I felt attractive, sexy, and empowered.

"Gun range," Edward barked at me from over the cubicle wall.

I rolled my eyes, signed out of my computer and followed him out the door and across the property to a concrete building behind the gym. He dropped a key into my hand before taking his own copy of what looked like the same key and opening a cage full of firearms just inside the door.

"Armory," he barked. "You sign everything out on this clipboard." He thrust the clipboard at me and told me what to write, like I'd never seen a gun before in my life. I kept quiet and finished the checkout process.

The gun range had been a way to pass time for Jacob and myself during high school and into college. Charlie taught us both how to shoot. It'd been a couple of months since I'd hit the range but I was still fairly confident that I could identify the Desert Eagle that Edward checked out for himself, and the Glock he handed me. I went along with it because he was in a bad mood.

It was probably bad that I found him kind of sexy when he was brooding. George was rearing his ugly head. I intentionally ogled Edward's muscles through his shirt, and his fingers as he loaded a clip, presumably for me as it was for the 9mm. He put the clip in for me and demonstrated taking off the safety. I tried not to smile.

I decided to have a little fun with Edward. He obviously thought that I'd never fired a gun before. I lifted the 9mm gingerly between two fingers and looked at him in askance. The poor guy took the bait. He straightened his stance and moved away from the divider with a smirk on his face.

"Ear protection," he murmured as he leaned over and grabbed the pair of earmuffs from the hook on the side of our stall. "If you need to talk to me with these on, touch my shoulder, it helps conduct the sound." His breath was cool on my neck and I shivered. "Did you forget your sweater, Swan?" He was so close that if I turned to the side I could brush my lips along his stubble. He smelled like soap and gunpowder. It wasn't how I remembered him smelling. It was something new about him. I pulled in a lungful and held it.

"I see that we're not talkative today. I'll just put these on you." He brushed the hair off my face and slid the muffs down. Silence engulfed me. His hands pulled my hair back gently and he knotted it at the nape of my neck. Goosebumps rose on my back. The contact was so intimate that I wondered if he still had feelings for me. The thought was fleeting. He'd left me. No matter what Liam thought, Edward and I were ancient history. There was no going back. The old saying is true, 'you can never go home again.'

"Pick up the gun," he said, touching my shoulder. I could barely hear him but I knew what to do. I had the option to impress him but decided to play the part of clueless little girl for a little longer. I carefully lifted it again and adopted the worst possible posture for firing a weapon that I could. I kept my feet together and locked my elbows, putting the gun as far away from me as I could. My hands were also high enough to ensure Beretta-bite* as the slide came back over my hand. If I knew Edward, he would stop me before I fired. I pretended to aim and closed my eyes.

Those hands of his were on me before I could put my finger on the trigger. He leaned down to talk to me, with that hand back on my shoulder 'to conduct sound better' while he adjusted my stance by gently sliding my feet apart with his.

_Oh gosh!_ He was standing flush up against me. I didn't hear a word of it. My heart rate spiked at the contact. His left arm slid along mine and pulled my arms in so that they bent just a bit. I allowed my eyes to flutter closed and enjoyed the feel of his body touching mine. He adjusted my grip on the weapon, ensuring that my hand wouldn't be injured by the slide.

"… don't lock your elbows, and keep your eyes open," he finished and put his right arm around my waist. I opened my eyes again. I had to stop and concentrate on breathing before I could fire. I wasn't sure if I could make the shot with him so close. I took aim but hesitated for a second longer. His arm tightened around my waist and I turned my head to glance over my shoulder at him.

"Do it," he mouthed.

_If I lean in I can kiss him._ I felt my teeth drag across my lip. It was time for the game to be up. If I was lucky, I hadn't dropped my arms since I took aim.

I didn't look back at the target. Instead, I kept my eyes on his, exhaled, and pumped the trigger three times making a slight adjustment for each. Casings flew over my shoulder, striking his. He gave me a stern look. I put down the weapon and brought the target back in.

The trick to firing a gun is to be prepared for the shock and the noise. The best way to do that is actually to relax and find a sort of calm state inside your head. I habitually shot on the exhale because it helped me focus. I knew what the weapon was going to feel like, since Jake owned an identical glock and I'd shot it multiple times. Edward was fully expecting me to tense up and send the gun up into the air when it kicked. I'd held it steady.

One shot to the head, one to the heart, and the third on the little 'x' in the middle of the target. He released me as if I'd shocked him.

_That's right, Cullen, I do know what I'm doing._

I smirked and sent the target further away. This time it was just past ten yards. He raised an eyebrow at me and I shrugged with a genuine smile. _Watch this._ I finished the remaining six shots with three to the chest and three to the head. He pulled the target back in and whistled at it. I pulled my earmuffs down around my neck and glanced at him coyly over my shoulder.

"Do you want to keep going?" He was breathless.

_Score one for Bella._

I ejected the clip and started reloading. The bullets slid quickly one right after the other into the clip. I kept a Beretta in my nightstand at home and a .38 special in the kitchen. Both were registered to me. I was surprised that Edward went for my little act. He should have known that I had them as well as a concealed carry permit. I'd gotten a new one in Maryland recently.

"How much time do we have?" I asked.

"Honestly, I thought that this was going to take hours. So, take all the time you need." He smiled.

"Okay." I grinned back at him.

"Where did you learn to shoot like that?"

"You always seem to forget that I'm a cop's daughter. I'm far from defenseless, Edward. Just because you never went shooting with me doesn't mean that I don't know how."

"It just never seemed like your thing."

"You never bothered to ask," I snapped. "You assumed that I was this person you wanted me to be, and I'm not. Right now, I'm actually pretty grateful you left, since you never saw _me_."

"I saw you," he said. "I see you, the best you. While you might know how to get information out of someone and be able to fire a gun, I don't think you could ever kill someone. Stop trying to make me see you that way," he snapped.

"I could if I had to," I said.

"I hope we never have to find out," he growled and stormed over to the next station.

I replaced my earmuffs just before he opened fire. He put an entire clip into the heart of his target. My aim was off for the next hour.

* * *

**End Note:**

*Beretta-bite: A superficial, yet painful injury that happens when holding a handgun improperly. When you pull the trigger the slide comes back over your hands and then shifts forward. If your hands are too high the slide will grab the skin on the webbing between your thumb and the meaty part of the palm. It stings. I'd totally forgotten about it until I watched the cute little girl next to me at the gun range get Beretta-bite off of a mini Beretta the other day.

So… I forgot to tell y'all that last week I posted an extra on my blog. I have a musical storyboard for V258. I put it together as best I could. If you're not in the US you may or may not have trouble pulling it up. In addition this week I've made a little post about gun safety. I've found that there are a lot of misconceptions in fanficdom about guns, like shooting to disarm… yeah… chatting about that on the blog…

Katsfics blogspot com

(you supply the punctuation)

In other news, I'm glad that a good portion of y'all are cool with Liam to some degree. He just kind of showed up to the party and rearranged some things for the better. There were a couple of songs on the storyboard that didn't fit correctly, and now they do.


	32. Chapter 31 Push

**A/n: **Hey everyone. Thanks for all of the reviews.

Loss4words has been beta'ing this mess. She's awesome.

* * *

**Edward**

_SpecInt Headquarters, MD 21 July 2010_

Bella Swan was going to be the death of me. Between the constant state of antagonistic sexual tension I felt around her and the fact that she was seeing Liam Brennan of all people, I felt fairly certain that I was going to combust. Well, if she wanted away from me then I would most certainly help, because I couldn't deal with her.

I put her through her paces and pushed her as hard as I safely could after the brunch fiasco and the following 'talk' with my father. I couldn't believe that Liam felt like he knew her better than I did, like he understood her. I was the one who'd known her, dated her, bought her a freaking ring. I'd met her family, she'd met mine. I knew Bella Swan. I could see Bella Swan.

Carlisle was, of course disappointed in my jealous behavior.

"_Son, you need to be more discreet," he scolded me._

"_What about her?" I asked._

"_Bella isn't causing a scene…"_

"_Oh, fine, she's not causing a scene, but she's not even out of training yet and she's already curling up to Liam Brennan. He's old enough to be her father!"_

"_Barely," Carlisle interrupted my tirade. "He's eighteen years older than her. Esme is twelve years younger than me. I can't fault the girl for having a relationship when your stepmother and I are in a similar situation."_

_I stared at him. There was no way he was comparing Bella and Liam to him and Esme. It was totally different. _

"_He's going to take advantage of her."_

"_Jasper ran over protocol with her on Saturday. As long as it doesn't turn into a security breech I'm leaving this alone. I'm also ordering you to leave it alone."_

"_She's engaged."_

"_It's none of our business." _

"_I can't be around it."_

"_Then don't see them socially, you already don't come to brunch when Bella's there."_

_That was a sore point between myself and my parents. I knew that Bella appreciated it, so I gave her some space. I just never intended for some Irish James Bond want-to-be to step in before Bella had had time to forgive me. She hadn't even broken things off with Jacob. That ring was still on her finger._

_I stormed out of Carlisle's office and rewrote her training plan. If Bella Swan didn't want me to be over her, I was going to get her off to The Farm ASAP._

I ran her hard, and she didn't break. At first it was frustrating, but then I was actually kind of proud of her. She was proving her worth as a viewer, and as a good spy rather quickly. It was almost like she was born for it. I just worried about her and the more dangerous aspects of the job.

So I took her to the gun range.

I should have let Emmett do it. I should have actually read her file so that I was prepared for her to blow me out of the water. She'd played me. I was positive that she didn't know anything about guns given the fact that she'd set herself up to get hit in the head when the gun recoiled. Bella with a gun was sexy. Bella cockily shooting at a target without looking and actually hitting it was even better.

There was a moment, when she looked at me… I was positive that she was going to kiss me, and then she didn't. She shot the stupid target instead. I wanted to press her into the divider, feel the soft skin of her stomach under that annoyingly sexy silk blouse, and then move on to better things. I wanted to make her forget about Jacob and Liam.

Then she spat Liam's words back at me. She insinuated that I didn't see her for what she was. Well, I knew exactly who she was. I knew her and I loved her. I wanted her back and for some reason I seemed to get passed over for a lethario who was rapidly nearing middle age.

We left the range without talking to each other. I couldn't talk to her. I couldn't be around her, because I couldn't get the feel of her hair around my fingers or the scent of her skin out of my head.

She was killing me. Fortunately she ducked into Jasper's office when we got back into the building.

"Rose," I tapped on the opening to her cube and hoped she was in a good mood.

"What?" she snapped.

_So much for a good mood._

"Can you do Bella's jump this afternoon?"

"I can but I won't," she huffed. "You're pushing her too hard. It's like you want her to fail."

"She wants out of training, and I am more than happy to oblige. It's time we started treating her like everyone else. Her ribs are healed, she only wears the wrist brace occasionally, and she hasn't accidentally jumped in weeks. There's no need for me to babysit her."

Rosalie glared at me. I have to admit that I took a small step back.

"You're trying to make her quit."

"No."

"You're an idiot."

"Whatever, Rose, are you going to do it or not?"

"No."

I stared at her for a moment before returning to my own cube and e-mailing Carlisle. He would be willing to push Bella. It cost more time and money to train her in house and from a financial standpoint it would be better to get her off to formal training and let the rest of us get back to work. Also, Carlisle was known to test his RV trainees to the extent of their limits, which is what I wanted to do. I wanted to push Bella and make sure that she wouldn't jump accidentally even when she was emotionally and physically exhausted.

If I could prove that she was in control then we could all move on. She could commence to have her affair with Brennan, and I could ignore the hell out of her. I could stop caring.

An e-mail pinged in from Carlisle confirming that he had the afternoon free and would be willing to work with Bella again. I planned on logging some time in the RV chair myself. Tanya still had to be found and dealt with after all.

**~V258~**

I was using Carlisle's RV chair when someone knocked at the door. I'd intentionally waited behind the two way mirror for her to be out of our sanctuary before going upstairs and jumping. The interruption was inconvenient, but as my planned jump was most likely to prove fruitless I aborted it and opened the door.

Ren was standing there holding her laptop, typing furiously.

"Ren?"

"We have a secure… You're not Carlisle."

"He's training Bella."

Ren winced.

"You needed something?"

"We have a security breech," she said.

"So, go get Alistair."

Alistair was Carlisle's enigmatic business partner. The man was obsessed with security to the point that he never drove the same way to work twice in a row, he stashed his money all around the world, and he had a tendency to disappear without warning.

"Can't. He's gone again."

"Crap," I grunted.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Contain the breech or lock him out and find out which files were accessed."

"Oh, he's contained. I'm working on the lockout," she said, still typing one-handed while holding the laptop with the other arm. "I need a more powerful machine to do this," she complained.

"Go use Carlisle's office, but if you access anything…"

"I won't break my parole restrictions," she huffed. "I just need a bigger processor."

"Do it," I said and went back to my jump.

**~V258~**

**Bella**

_SpecInt Headquarters, MD 21 July 2010_

"Viewer 2-5-8 has arrived." I said after dropping into my target location.

"What do you see?" Carlisle's voice floated to me.

"I have some structures, a barbed wire fence, and…" I felt a wave of nausea roll over me. Only it wasn't so much nausea as a really strong emotion. "This is bad, really bad."

"Viewer 2-5-8, please explain."

"I feel something, like it's floating out of the buildings."

"Touch the wall of the closest building."

I reached out and touched the wall, watching my fingers sink through the structure.

_Terror_

_Sadness_

_Hunger_

_Despair_

_Pain_

I pulled my hand off like the building had burnt me. I walked out from between the structure I was standing next to and the fence and recognized where I was from the holocaust museum. I wanted out immediately.

"Viewer 2-5-8 requesting return jump."

"Negative, you need to glean enough information to identify your location."

"It's Auschwitz, and I'm jumping, permission or not, unless you can give me a compelling reason to stay."

"Viewer 2-5-8, proceed back to sanctuary, complete jump and report for debriefing in one hour."

I dropped into my sanctuary and curled into a ball on the grass. I didn't know that a place could retain emotional imprints like that, but it was apparently possible.

"Swan?" Edward interrupted me.

"Sorry, I just need…" My breath caught in a sob. I couldn't help it. I was shaking and crying lying on the ground.

Edward crouched down next to me and touched my shoulder. Realization dawned on him and crossed his face.

"I can feel it on you."

"Auschwitz," I sobbed.

"I forgot that one was next, or I blocked it from my memory," he confessed.

He reached out and rubbed my arm gently. I sat up, and he crouched down. We were eye level.

"It hurts."

"I'm sorry."

"Why do we go there?"

"So that you can feel that and understand the kind of imprints that places form based on what happened in them."

"I don't ever want to go back."

"You don't have to," he reassured me.

"Now, I have to face your father like this," I sobbed again because carrying around that feeling made it feel like my world was ending.

"He understands." Edward wrapped his arms around me. "Carlisle has been there too. We all have and we've all cried afterwards. There's nothing to be ashamed of."

I nodded.

"Ready to go back?" He asked.

I nodded again.

"Okay," he sighed, "I'll see you in the morning. I still have a long jump to do."

"Tomorrow," I said, and shifted my awareness so that I would return to my body. I rushed back in like water hitting concrete and bolted upright. My head hurt, and my face was soaked with tears. I rubbed them off my cheeks with the palms of my hands. There was mascara on my fingers.

"Bella?" Rose's voice came from the observation room.

"Just wrapping up," I said quietly.

"Take your time," she responded. "I just wanted you to know I was in here. I'm here – if you need me, I'm here."

"Thanks." I nodded and tried to pull myself together.

"Do you want me to go grab a washcloth and your make up?" Rosalie activated the intercom again.

"That would be great."

"I'll knock twice," she said.

I nodded and lay back down for a moment. I wasn't feeling the emotions from the jump anymore, but I felt kind of strung out. I hoped that I had the rest of the day off to go do something else. I didn't think I could handle any more training. I was taxed to my limit as it was.

I took a moment and drew the building on my pad of paper. It was a quick, rough sketch but the structures were clear. It was clearly recognizable as a concentration camp. Rose knocked before I could write out the emotional details.

She was politely not looking at me when I opened the door. I gingerly took my bag and a baggie that she'd brought with one of Jasper's washcloths in it.

"The observation room is empty, you can use the mirror," she said, and pulled the door closed between us.

I opened the plastic bag with the washcloth and noticed that it was warm. I sighed and used it to wash my face before putting on a little bit of make-up. I wore it more often working at SpecInt than I ever had before, partially because I always felt like I needed some kind of shield between me and the rest of them.

After I cleaned up I finished my after report and made my way to the conference room to meet Carlisle. It wasn't much of a debriefing. I gave him my report, he said that he was impressed that I could pull all of that out of a couple of minutes worth of jump time, then he handed me a bar of some fancy organic, fair trade, dark chocolate and sent me home for the day.

"Go do something fun," he said.

"Okay."

"Talk to your loved ones, do whatever you need to do to move past the jump. We're fast tracking you and you need to be ready for it."

I nodded.

"I could call Esme if you want to use the pool…"

"I'm fine, Carlisle."

"I'm sure you are," he said, "but you still need to take care of yourself."

I nodded, and said goodbye.

He really didn't look like he wanted to let me leave the building.

I opened my chocolate bar in the car. It was the best chocolate I'd ever had. It was like I was buoyant after eating it. I checked the wrapper again and assured myself that it was just chocolate. It had some herbs added to it, but other than that it seemed fairly normal. I contemplated licking the wrapper while stopped at a traffic light. I caught a glimpse of the guy in the car next to me and decided against it.

At home I erased two more messages from Jacob without listening to them. When was he going to catch a hint and move on?

I changed into some comfortable clothes that Rosalie had tried to dispose of the last time she was in my apartment and decided to bake cupcakes while watching some Masterpiece Theatre that I'd recorded ages ago. I'd actually resorted to burning it to DVD since I never made it through my backlog when I lived in Atlanta.

I made it through Sense and Sensibility and Mansfield Park before there was a knock on my door. I checked the peep hole and saw Rose with pizza. I checked my watch, it was six thirty. I opened the door.

"You need better lounge clothes," Rosalie said and dropped the pizza on the table. "Alice is coming over." She set a large paper bag I'd missed on the table.

"Not necessary," I said.

"She's bringing Hugh Jackman, shut it."

I laughed and pulled some plates out of the cabinet. "Is Kate coming or is it just us?"

"Just us. This is what we call a team building exercise."

I shot her a skeptical look and put the plates on the table.

"What, you think I paid for this pizza? This is the good stuff from the place on Elm, it's like twenty bucks for a pie, this is totally getting expensed."

I eyed the paper bag, it was from Whole Foods.

"I also expensed chocolate, stuff for milkshakes, and some sort of mud mask that Alice said we needed to try… Oh, and there's mani-pedi stuff in the car."

I stared at her. There was no way she wasn't getting into trouble for this.

"Carlisle okayed it."

"Really?"

"Yep, he said that you might need some companionship this evening and since a certain Irishman is out of town you might need girl time. I was then instructed to take care of girl time."

I shook my head and chuckled. Carlisle either knew how bad Rosalie was going to milk this or he was going to be in shock when he got the receipts.

"You should consider changing before Alice gets here, because she _will_ wait for you to go to sleep and burn those." She indicated my clothes. I had on a holey t-shirt that belonged to my dad and a pair of cotton jersey pants that were unraveling in places.

I sighed and trudged back to my room. I grabbed some of the more comfortable work out wear that Alice had bought and slipped into it. I really didn't feel like dealing with her, but she came with Rosalie. I supposed I was going to have to bury the hatchet eventually. It's not like there was any animosity left between us, but it was still awkward. There was always this elephant in the room. The fact that she'd left and not contacted me because Edward said so still burned. She should have at least sent a wedding announcement.

Rosalie was ushering Alice into the apartment and they were both carrying bags. It looked like they had a lot planned for the evening.

"Cupcakes?" I asked.

"You baked cupcakes?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"There's a reason why I love you," Alice said, snagging a cupcake off of the counter.

As it turned out Alice brought _Kate and Leopold_. I'd been kind of hoping for something from X-men related but I could do romantic comedies again, I supposed. She braided my hair, then Rose's and we used most of the scary, girly implements of torture and embarrassment found in the bags.

It wasn't necessarily my ideal night, but we had a relaxing time, and it was kind of nice to hang out with them. Alice had even grown on me again. I wasn't sure if we'd ever be as close as we were, but I wasn't quite so upset with her.

* * *

**End Note:**

I know that a lot of you are concerned about alternate love interests, but we're about to get into the meat of the story and you might want to consider looking at other things that are occurring in the next few chapters. Besides, Liam's out of the country, and then… yeah… just read and see…

As a note, I pulled the Auschwitz jump concept from _Psychic Warrior_. Bella, of course, figured it out super-fast.

I don't think I have any bonus content to add on the blog this week. Y'all know me, I'm not one to share pictures of outfits or cupcake recipes unless specifically asked to do so.


	33. Chapter 32 Catty-whompus

**A/n:** Thank you to loss4words, my fabulous beta.

Moving on…

* * *

**Bella**

_SpecInt Headquarters, MD 22 July 2010_

"We've negotiated the CIA down to three months at The Farm, but they're unwilling to cut you any more slack than that," Carlisle said.

My head was spinning. I'd shown up to work expecting another day of Edward pushing me to the breaking point, only to be blindsided by Carlisle and Jasper at the door. They coaxed me down to the conference room with doughnuts only to tell me that I was shipping out to The Farm at the beginning of August.

"You're going to be able to test out of a few modules, so you may have more down time than the CIA recruits," Jasper explained. "We might be able to get you a pass to leave Camp Peary for a few days at a time when you're not actively engaged in a module, but we're not sure."

I nodded. I couldn't figure out how I was supposed to react.

"Since you've done all of your SpecInt specific training already your training will be complete upon completion of The Farm's espionage unit. You'll come back a full-fledged staff member."

I nodded again.

"You're overwhelmed," Carlisle stated the obvious.

"Yes," I said quietly.

"Normally we do this the other way around. We recruit an asset, send him/her to The Farm, and then train here. Due to your injuries it seemed unwise to follow that course of action," Carlisle explained.

I was already somewhat aware of the fact that I'd been given preferential treatment. I was thankful for it. There was no way I would have been able to attend The Farm or any other training program without some time for my brain to heal, and be able to control my mind.

"I know, I just didn't think it would come so soon."

Jasper nodded. "Well, we've grown fairly accustomed to having you around. I hope that you come back to us."

I knew that my eyes went wide. "What do you mean, you hope that I come back?"

"Jasper is trying to tell you that The Farm is intense. You need to not only complete the program but be in the top of your training class in order for us to keep you as a field operative. Otherwise, you'll either not be welcome back, or we could find you a position like Ren's doing - solely support work," Carlisle said.

"Okay."

They both stared at me.

"You really think I'm ready?"

"There are only about ten standard training jumps left, and you seem to have a handle on Remote Viewing. I see no reason to delay any further," Carlisle said, passing me a doughnut from the box that sat open, and previously untouched on the table.

I held it in my hand and looked at the icing flaking off onto my fingers. I really didn't feel ready, but I nodded again. Somehow I made it through the remainder of the meeting in which they went over the tests that were already scheduled and the modules that I didn't have to take.

"I know this is a bit overwhelming…"

Overwhelming barely covered what I was feeling. Honestly, I was feeling a bit abandoned. I'd formed a bond with Jasper's team, and suddenly I was going to be separated from them, with no access to the outside world, living in a dorm full of people who if I was to believe Kate, probably wouldn't like me.

I was screwed.

"You'll be back in time for Halloween," Jasper said cheerfully.

I nodded.

I felt like all I ever did was nod sometimes, but I really didn't have the words I needed in order to respond. It was like being a socially awkward teenager all over again.

"Can I tell Charlie?" I asked.

"Yes," Carlisle answered. "But you'll need to give a cover story to everyone else so that they don't try to reach you."

"Okay," I said.

"Good, then we're done here. You can eat your breakfast in peace and get started on today's training." Carlisle gave me a pat on the shoulder and left the room.

"You okay, little bit?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah," I said noncommittally.

"That was convincing."

"Three months."

"I'm sorry, I tried to haggle it down to six weeks."

"It sounds like a long time," I said and set my doughnut down on a napkin.

"It's not, really. It'll be over before you can spit."

"Ew."

"Well, not literally, but they keep you pretty busy down at Camp Peary. The time flies by. Besides, you get to go to jump school."

"Jump school?"

"You're going to jump out of an airplane."

"An airplane?"

"Yes."

"No one mentioned that," I said. My stomach churned. I had no interest in sky diving.

"You'll do fine, Bella."

"Three months," I said again.

"Just three months, a teeny little blip on the radar."

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. My eyes locked with his and I felt a wave of calm wash over me.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Just keep in mind that you're Bella Swan, and you're already better than any of them, okay?"

"Yeah," I said, nodding and foolishly believing Jasper. It was hard not to believe someone who could manipulate your emotions.

I went on with my day, because I wasn't sure what else to do. I did another training jump, this one was much less traumatic. Edward and I skirted around each other and avoided contact while still somehow managing to accidentally brush hands or arms at least fifteen times. I was counting.

"So," Rosalie said, startling me. "We're probably not getting to dance lessons before you leave for The Farm."

I suppressed the urge to skip around the office happily. "Probably not."

"While not required, it's a useful skill," she said.

"Talk to Jasper, there's just not time." I shrugged, feigning indifference.

"Let's go make sure you don't fail the driving test." She linked her arm with mine and led me out to the course that she'd set up.

"We're going to do a little role play." She grinned and handed me a map. "Study this. I'm going to warn you that I plan on having you break the law a couple of times today, and I'm not just talking about the fake driver's license."

"Are we going into town?" I asked, studying the map.

"Your first task is to evade Emmett and Jasper. They're going to play dirty because if they catch you I'm making hot wings the next time they get together. Don't get caught because they're a pain in the butt from scratch, especially making them organic and from free range chickens for Emmett."

I snickered.

"Don't, I will take it out on you if I have to make hot sauce from scratch." She pointed a manicured nail at me. "When you get back, you're going to demonstrate some offensive maneuvers with the stunt car."

"Okay," I said. "Don't worry, I won't let them catch me."

"You'd better not!"

I already had a fairly good idea of the town's layout, but I studied the map for a few minutes just to make sure I didn't get tripped up. When I'd finished I looked up at Rose.

"What's the plan?" I asked.

"You are going to pick up a dead drop from this location." She handed me a slip of paper with an address on it. "The guys are going to find you hopefully sometime after that. Your mission is to give the package to Alice, here, without either one of them on your tail." She handed me another slip of paper. Then, she took away my map. I still had a GPS system in the car, but I wouldn't put it past her to have disabled it.

"I'm good to go?"

"Go for it," she said.

I crossed the parking lot to my car and drove to the dead drop location. After I picked up the package I noticed a green SUV three cars back. I didn't know which of them it was, but I was fairly certain that it was one of the guys. I made an impromptu and unnecessary turn. The SUV followed. I disobeyed a "no turn on red" after another block and then made a quick left turn so that I would be out of sight by the time my pursuer caught up with me.

A silver "mom mobile" slid in behind me. I checked the rearview and recognized Emmett. He was going to be harder to shake. I had to put some distance between us because I'd seen him use telekinesis on a car before. It was possible that he could pull me closer. I sped up along the street, which was fortunately in a deserted industrial area. My car was slightly faster than his and I managed to swing in between two empty warehouses and around a corner, then back up onto the road. I caught a glimpse of green heading into the industrial park, and whipped back behind another building before Jasper could see me.

I managed to make it back out of the area without either of them behind me. I zipped to the address and pulled into a parking space. Alice was at Starbucks.

I walked as fast as I dared from my car into the building and dropped the package onto her table. I sat down across from her and she handed me a cup.

"Still hot," she said.

I settled into the chair across from her and took a sip. After a few minutes a very distraught Emmett walked in, ordered an herbal tea, and then sat down with us.

"I almost had you," he complained.

"Don't be a sore loser," I taunted him.

Alice's phone chirped and she picked it up. She pecked at the keypad for a few moments before looking back up. "Jasper's heading back to work. You're due back too." She nodded at me.

I grabbed my cup, thanked her, and made my way back to the car with Emmett walking close behind me.

"You can't just say that I caught you?"

"Not happening."

"Please, Ducks?"

"No way in hell."

"Please?"

"I'm afraid of Rose," I deadpanned and hopped in my car.

**~V258~**

**Jasper**

_SpecInt Headquarters, MD 22 July 2010_

I couldn't figure out how she'd evaded us. I'd even resorted to trying to feel her emotions. I was looking for someone nervous and I couldn't find her. She'd skittered around the edge of my awareness after I lost her the first time, but I couldn't lock down her location quickly enough.

Perhaps Emmett and I weren't all that good at this?

I considered signing us up for a commercial refresher course.

Bella seemed to have picked up the driving module fairly quickly, as with everything else. It was like she was meant to be a spy. If she was just a wee bit more confident, she would be perfect.

Her personal life was a concern. I was beginning to wonder if that ring on her finger belonged to Jacob Black. Alice was positive that it did, as was Edward. The problem being that her emotions didn't fit. They were catty-whompus. I couldn't put my finger on exactly what was wrong, but Bella seemed to be pining for Edward, and him for her. Being around the two for any length of time was frustrating. The two emanated sexual tension, which I'm sure Alice enjoyed the affects thereof. It was a bit awkward for me.

This Liam character was attracted to her, but her feelings for him seemed to just be sexual with a hint of friendship but no sign of love. Bella didn't show any sign of missing her supposed fiancé, nor did she mention him. Women tended to carry on about their fiancés, didn't they? Bella seemed private but this was a bit excessive. She hadn't even bothered to ask if she could read him in. She also didn't feel as guilty as she should. She exhibited the tiniest amount of guilt when I talked to her about it, and I felt like that was more about lying to me than having to do with Jacob.

There was no way she was actually engaged.

I didn't want to embarrass Bella by exposing the fact, but I needed to prove it. Everyone with the glaring exception of my brother in law was taking her supposed infidelity in stride. He couldn't let it go; merely being around her seemed to enrage him. I was fairly certain that the combination of rage and sexual desire was going to result in him throwing her against a wall and having his way with her, but he didn't. Instead he pushed her harder in training.

I didn't know everything that was said between him and Liam but they were obviously two roosters fighting over the same hen. Edward seemed more indignant at that prospect of having competition than spurred on by it. He wasn't fighting for the woman, but attempting to shove her out the door.

"She's ready," Rosalie informed me from the door to my office.

"Really?"

"Yeah, she drove the course and did well enough. She's not perfect but I'm fairly certain that she did better than any of us would." Rosalie shrugged and stepped inside.

"What do you think about her and Liam?" I asked.

"I think she's making a mistake but it's not really our business."

"What about her fiancé?"

Rosalie sighed and flopped down on my couch. "I think that was doomed when she got here. It's hard enough for us to carry on relationships and we don't have to lie to our spouses about work. She should probably cut him loose if she hasn't already."

"You think she has?"

"Possibly. She doesn't talk about him."

"But the ring…"

"Lots of girls wear rings," Rosalie said. "Or maybe she's having difficulty letting go?"

"That's not it."

"You would know."

"Should I talk to her about it?"

"No," Rosalie snapped.

My eyebrows climbed up my forehead of their own volition.

"Whatever's going on with her, it seems to be working. If you're really rushing her off to The Farm, you need to leave everything the way it is. Let her stay on her game."

I nodded.

"It's really none of your business, or mine. As long as she doesn't compromise anything, there's no rule that says she has to behave like a decent person or divulge all of the details of her personal life. She doesn't trust us, and interrogating her would only make it worse."

She was right, and I told her so.

We dropped the conversation when everyone else filed in for lunch. Bella seemed awfully pleased with herself. Edward was a muddle of crazy emotions that I couldn't suss out. He needed to just decide what he wanted and go for it.

**~V258~**

It was after lunch when I was called to Carlisle's office. Ren was sitting in the extra chair with her laptop open, fingers tapping keys frantically.

"We've had a security breach," Carlisle explained. "Ren has isolated multiple attacks on our system over the past few days."

I honestly wondered why he bothered to tell me about it. Ren handled all of that sort of thing.

"They're trying to access files for two employees," Ren said.

I looked at her screen as she turned it to face me. There were two images staring back at me, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. I sat down in the chair next to Ren's.

"So they've been compromised?"

"Maybe," Carlisle hedged.

"This person isn't a professional," Ren supplied. "He – or she – isn't bothering to cover his or her tracks in the actual system. It's like he wants me to know what he's doing."

"Can you trace him?"

"It's going to take some time."

"The question is: who knows that we hired Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Her daddy, Liam, Tanya, Irina – but she would just come to you, and a couple of guys over at the CIA," I ticked off the list on my hand. "We can rule out most of those options."

"We're not ruling anyone out," Carlisle said.

"How does this effect Bella's training?"

"Plan on sending her off anyway. If this is CIA I don't want them to know that we've figure it out."

Carlisle dismissed me.

I tried to get a handle on the sense of dread that crept over me. Tanya could have compromised us all already and yet she hadn't. I had to trust Ren, and that was hard to do.

* * *

**End Note:**

Dun dun dun… Yeah… so.. the security breach seems to be an ongoing situation. ;-) Ren's on the case though.


	34. Chapter 33 Messages

**A/n:**

Hi, all! I owe loss4words a big thank you for beta'ing.

Sorry for the delay, I've been unwell.

* * *

**Bella**

_1 August 2010 Bethesda MD_

I called my mother, Angela, and Charlie. Charlie had both my cover story of taking a three month long trip to Canada to visit a specialist as well as the truth, that I was headed to The Farm. I figured that my whereabouts were none of Jake's business, so I continued radio silence. I didn't even bother to delete his messages. Surely my answering machine would fill up in the meantime and he'd get the hint. I dialed Liam's personal cell phone to let him know not to contact me.

I got his voicemail.

"Liam, this is Bella. I'm going to be gone for three months, so if you need a place to stay near DC you'll have to go elsewhere." I didn't know what to say so I ended with "be safe."

It was a pathetic message.

I got a text thirty minutes later from an undisclosed number, "Be good in school. Call me when you graduate for some fun."

I snickered at the way the message sounded. "Perv," I muttered.

I checked my fridge and cupboard one more time, and took out a bag of trash. The apartment was clean, so I wouldn't have any surprise smells when I got home. I shoved my dirty laundry into a bag to come with me.

Everything was cleaned out and closed up. I wandered around for a few minutes, not sure what to do with myself. Emmett swung the door open on my third pass.

"Ready to go, Ducks?"

"Yeah." I grabbed the handle on my giant rolling suitcase, and started to pull. Emmett took it from me.

"This thing weighs more than you do." He chuckled and lifted it. I locked up the apartment and followed him out to his car. My car had already been moved to Carlisle and Esme's house where it would be safe for three months.

Kate was in the backseat of Emmett's car, waiting to give me some last minute advice. I slid into the front seat and clicked the belt in place. Emmett was already in the driver's seat. He pulled out as soon as I was situated. The drive was going to take a couple of hours even with Emmett at the wheel.

"You need to be ready for anything," Kate reminded me.

"Why are you freaking her out?" Emmett interjected.

"Because she's going to end up singled out for every demonstration," Kate said.

"Whatever," Emmett huffed.

"It's a hostile environment for contractors," she said.

"Just because you rubbed an instructor wrong, Kate…"

"What about Alice? They did it to Victoria, Jasper, you and Rose…"

"How do you know about that?" Emmett glanced over his shoulder.

"Rose told me about it. Every contractor we've sent in for training has been tapped repeatedly for demonstration. Alice did the lie detector multiple times…"

"Let's not elaborate, Kate," Emmett said.

"Why do they do it?" I asked.

"They're looking for weakness. You're going to be made an example. The guys in charge tend to want us to fail."

"What kind of demonstration are we talking about? You mentioned the lie detector-"

"You can't say anything." Emmett interrupted me, staring daggers at Kate through the rearview mirror.

"You know it's going to happen," Kate said.

"You don't know that, and if anyone finds out you even thought about mentioning it the level of crap that will come down on us will be immeasurable." Emmett ended the conversation and turned on the radio.

Kate was trying to tell me something and Emmett was dead set against me being warned. I was intrigued.

"Just be on your guard," Kate said ominously.

The rest of the drive was spent in idle chit chat. We picked on Emmett's love of dubstep. I tried rather unsuccessfully to convince Kate that I wasn't nervous. She didn't buy it. Emmett tried to reassure me that Kate was overreacting and that no one would be out to get me. He wasn't very convincing.

It seemed like Emmett knew what she was talking about and wanted it hidden from me. This struck me as odd because Emmett was generally among the first to give me the complete truth about anything and everything.

We ate lunch in Williamsburg before driving over to Camp Peary. Emmett stopped at the guard shack and was informed that he wouldn't be allowed to drive onto the base. We pulled off next to the guard shack and Emmett hefted my suitcase from the vehicle. He put it up on his wheels and passed it over to me.

I gave Kate a quick hug.

"Be safe, and kick their butts, girl," she whispered.

When Emmett pulled me in he held on tighter than he normally would.

"Bella, I don't want you to panic, but there is a grain of truth to what Kate's saying. SpecInt seems to get singled out a lot and there's no one here to watch your back. Keep your eyes open and be aware of your surroundings. It's not hostile, but you need to be aware that there are people who don't like what we can do, and feel like we've gotten a free pass. You're going to have to fight your way to the top."

I nodded into his shoulder.

"Make me proud!" he practically shouted after releasing me.

A jeep pulled up with two men in uniform.

"Swan?!" The passenger yelled.

"That's me, sir," I answered.

"Well you don't look like much," he snickered. "In ya get."

I nodded and pulled my suitcase over to the jeep. I struggled for a moment to get it up into the backseat. Neither of the men offered to help. I figured that it was some form of initiation and just heaved it myself. I waved to Emmett and Kate before hopping in on the other side.

"So, do your folks drive you everywhere?" he asked as the driver slammed his foot down on the gas. "Ya know teen pregnancy's getting out of hand…"

"Not my folks," I smiled taking his comment as a good natured jibe. I knew that there was no way he thought Kate and Emmett were my parents.

"I hope you're not used to being babied 'cause that's not likely to happen here."

We rounded a corner and I had to grab my bag to keep it from tumbling out of the vehicle.

"I wasn't expecting it," I said. "Frankly, I've had enough of being babied. People only do that if they're underestimating you."

"You get underestimated often, Swan?"

"All the time."

We pulled to a stop in front of what I assumed was the dormitory. I was directed to hop out and take my giant suitcase with me. I did. They sped off without a second glance. I hauled my bag up the steps and spent the greater part of my afternoon figuring out where I belonged.

**~V258~**

_2 August 2010 The Farm_

I woke up to a cranky roommate on Monday morning. She'd been out doing some sort of training half of the night, and wasn't pleased to discover that she had a roommate when she got back. It was readily apparent by the fact that she hip checked me into the desk while we pulled on our sweats for our morning run, that she wasn't interested in being my friend.

The run made me thankful for Emmett and his insistence on a crazy physical fitness program. I'd been running and doing martial arts every day for a couple of months. I could keep up with the rest of them. At the end of the run we were informed that the physical fitness test would be given later in the day.

As the group split up to head to breakfast an instructor tapped me on the shoulder.

"Isabella Swan?"

"Yes?"

"Come along, you've missed several modules and you need to run through all of the assessments you've missed."

"Alright, sir, but can't it wait until after breakfast?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize we had the Queen here. Shall I reschedule my whole day just for you?"

"No, sir, I'm sorry. Let's go," I said hastily.

The bastard smirked and led me off to the firing range. It was going to be a long three months.

**~V258~**

**Edward**

_2 August 2010 SpecInt Headquarters, Maryland_

Carlisle called me up to his office first thing in the morning. Jasper and Ren were waiting, a third chair had been pulled in for me. I sat down and looked at the three of them. Ren was the closest to giving up any information. She was fiddling with the ends of her blue streaked hair and avoiding eye contact with me.

"We've identified the security breach," Jasper said.

"Good." I waited for some sort of response from any of them. After a few moments Ren pulled a file folder from under the computer on her lap and chucked it at me. I caught it and flipped to the first document.

"The only files that he tried to access were yours and Bella's," Carlisle supplied.

Nothing could have prepared me for the face looking back at me. It was Jacob Black.

"How?" I asked, but I was thinking 'why?'

"His friend, Seth Clearwater, second page," Ren supplied. "He's a student at Georgia Tech, seems pretty gifted – not gifted enough since I caught him and he kept trying to hack the same set of files. I didn't get him before he'd managed to pull part of your personnel file, but I prevented him from touching Bella's."

"Why would he be trying to get her file and mine?"

"Page three," Ren said. "I have reason to believe that Mr. Black is no longer involved with our dear Bella."

Page three was Bella's phone record. There was nearly a page of incoming calls from an Atlanta number but none of them were longer than ninety seconds. There were no outgoing calls to the same number.

"He's been calling her, but she never calls him," Jasper said.

"So? She's been busy…"

"Think about it, Edward. All of those calls are under a minute. He's calling and leaving messages on her answering machine. She's not returning them." Jasper stared at me like I was an idiot. "If you look, the calls pick up just before the security breach on the 21st."

"This girl has got a thing for stalkers," Ren said. "First she's in the database and she shouldn't be, then there's the matter of the PI following her maybe fiancé, and now the possibly not fiancé who's leaving harassing messages and hiring someone to hack into her personnel files…"

"Can we get our hands on the messages?" I asked.

"Transcript of what was on her machine last night is on pages 4 and 5," Ren said, obviously bored. "By the way, someone should tell Bella to change her answering machine code from the factory default. I mean, having an answering machine instead of voicemail is a touch more secure if you change the passcode, but as is, it's not helping her any. Anyone can just pop in and pull her messages off."

"Bella probably doesn't care," I volunteered, reading the messages.

_7/20/2010 1800:_

_Listen, Bells, I know you think I'm obsessing, but I just want to know what's going on. I called your dad and he's feeding me the same BS story that you gave me._

_7/22/2010 2045 :_

_Bella, I know that you don't want to talk to me, but I'm not going to stop calling until you do. I need to know that you're okay. Did I mention that I talked to Angela last month? She's not worried about you, and neither is your mom. I don't get that. How can they not be worried? Angela says that you talk to her but you're always busy._

_7/24/2010 0600:_

_Would you please talk to me? I know something's going on, and that you're not in treatment. I'm worried, Bells. You're still my best friend. That's never going to change. I'm not mad at you for going. I was an overbearing jerk, can we talk about it?_

_7/28/2010 1000:_

_I'm just calling to check in. I have a permanent contract with WSB now. I'm following your nemesis around with a camera all day. I totally thought you'd pick up for that._

_7/30/2010 0400:_

_Bells, I know that I'm a pain, and that I call all the time. I know that I worry like an old woman, but it'd be great if you'd call me back. I'm headed to work but I've been giving my cell phone to one of the runners while I'm shooting, so if you call someone will answer._

_8/1/2010 1950:_

_I didn't want to say this to your answering machine, but I think I know what you're doing and I'm concerned. Is he there, Bells? Is someone keeping you from calling me back. It's been months, and I'm even more worried now that I might know what you're doing._

My world stopped for a moment. They obviously weren't together, and I was finding out about it at the exact wrong time. I had wasted so many opportunities! If I'd known… I felt like a complete idiot. We'd kissed. She'd kissed me back. I should have done something about this then. Now, here I was with Liam as competition and Bella was stuck on The Farm with limited contact to the outside world. If we could get her a weekend pass … maybe I could do something for her birthday?

"Edward?" Carlisle pulled me out of my thoughts. Jasper snorted at me.

"What's been done about this?" I asked, giving Jasper a look.

"I'm taking Emmett and Rosalie to collect them," Jasper said.

"We need to question Mr. Black and Mr. Clearwater to make sure that this is solely about Bella and nothing more serious. Ren is currently tightening up our network security," Carlisle said, looking at Ren, as if he wanted to verify that she was doing it.

"I had to leave the hole in place so that I could trace them back. Initially I thought it was just Black but -"

"Who's interrogating them?" I interrupted.

"Maggie and I will handle it," Jasper said. "That kid will probably spill everything before they make it here. Rosalie is scary when she's on the warpath."

I nodded. Rosalie scared me when she was angry and I couldn't imagine what affect she'd have on some frightened kid.

"He's older than me," Ren volunteered.

"You're a kid," Carlisle said, staring her down over his desk.

"Whatever," she humphed.

Jasper grinned at her, and she glared back at him.

"Can I ...?"

"You're not going near them," Jasper said.

"Why not?"

"Man, he is your ex-girlfriend's possible ex-fiance. There's no way you're getting anywhere near that!" Jasper grinned at me.

"I agree, Edward, you should make yourself scarce. It's possible that Mr. Black may have unkind feelings toward you," Carlisle said.

"I just want to verify that she left him," I said, innocently.

"Right, and I'm a monkey's uncle."

"Can I meet them?" Ren asked.

"This is not a social call," Carlisle groused.

"I at least need to question the nerd," she protested.

"Nerd?" Jasper asked.

"Clearwater, look at him, I guarantee you that Seth here has a collection of Star Trek action figures and a crippling fear of girls," she said.

"Haven't you been known to watch a little Star Trek?"

"Only TNG, and I'm not socially awkward. I'm a geek, not a nerd."

"Whatever," Jasper sighed.

Carlisle stared at her for a few moments, sighed and looked at Jasper. Jasper nodded. Ren grinned from ear to ear.

"Someone needs to babysit her," I said.

"No," Carlisle and Jasper said in unison.

"Emmett can watch her," Jasper said.

"Emmett can't watch a cat," I protested.

"Rose will be there too."

"…and if there's a supply closet handy you've lost both of your babysitters."

"Ewwww," Ren whined.

"What?"

"It's Emmett and Rose, they're like Emmett and Rose…"

"Ren will be fine," Carlisle interrupted.

"Do they really do it in the supply closet?"

I nodded.

"I am never getting a pencil over in your department again."

"We need to git," Jasper said, intentionally accentuating his drawl. I rolled my eyes.

Ren and Jasper left me alone in the office with Carlisle.

He raised an eyebrow at me. I mimicked the expression.

"Well, it seems that she's not having an affair."

* * *

**End Note:**

I'd like to give you, my readers my gratitude. So many of you love this story as much as I do – some of you possibly more. I smile every week reading your reviews.

Props to Jeralay and dumbow (and majose but she guessed more than one person) for guessing who's hacking the server.

I've put up a link on the blog to some videos about The Farm and the CIA.


	35. Chapter 34 Interrogation

**A/n:**

Thanks to loss4words for beta'ing! Is anyone ready for some insight into Edward?

* * *

**Edward**

_2 August 2010 SpecInt Headquarters, MD_

"Well, it seems that she's not having an affair."

I stared blankly at my father for a few moments. His lips twitched like he wanted to smile.

"That's how it appears," I said.

"Might I suggest that you actually talk to the woman? There's still something between the two of you, and you need to iron it out."

"Didn't you just discourage this a few weeks ago?"

"A few weeks ago you were training her, and we both thought she was engaged. I had just walked in on what I thought was going to be a drunken 'hook up' as Ren likes to call it…"

"Dad…"

"This new information changes everything. I've been watching the two of you circle around each other. You have feelings for her, and I'm certain that the lady feels the same."

I felt like my brain was about to implode. My father, the one who chided me for making out with Bella, the one person I wanted to avoid introducing her to in the first place, was telling me to explore a relationship with her.

"What about Liam?"

"Liam is Liam. If she indicates that she feels the same way for you at all, he will bow out."

I looked at him incredulously. Liam may very well have acted like that with other people but the two of us had always been at odds. It was highly unlikely that he would step aside to let me pursue Bella.

"Liam can't offer her a stable relationship like you can. Even if things work out they'll spend half of their time lying to each other or just not asking questions. That's no foundation for a relationship," Carlisle argued.

"Dad, I left her."

"Your family needed you. Surely she'll understand."

"You don't understand. _This_ – the life we live was never something I wanted for her. I didn't want to have to worry about her. I didn't want her to worry about me. She deserved a normal life." I could feel the emotions rising up in the back of my throat, like a bubble threatening to choke me at any moment. "I abandoned her when I came here because I didn't want her to end up like mom."

His face fell and he leaned forward tenting his fingers under his jaw.

"What does your mother have to do with this?"

I couldn't understand why he was so puzzled.

"The stress of you always being gone, it killed mom." I couldn't look at him, instead I stared at his potted plant in the corner.

"Edward?"

I slowly brought myself to look at him.

"Your mother was ill. She had an anxiety disorder and a heart condition. She didn't take her medication or follow her doctor's orders. Bella is not your mother."

I felt like my jaw was on the floor.

"It's true, Edward. Your mother could barely leave the house most days. She wasn't diagnosed until I was already well established in my career, otherwise I would have changed fields. By the time she admitted she was having panic attacks you were in preschool. She and I made the choice that I would continue with the CIA, and that she would seek help. She got help for a while, but she hated the side effects from the medicine. She wasn't compliant, and I didn't figure it out until it was too late." He paused and took a deep breath. He was keeping his emotions in check. I was not. I felt tears sliding down my face.

"We hired a nanny to help with you and Alice, but Elizabeth always tried to do things herself. You were a couple of years older when she started having heart problems. I tried to stay home more, but she assured me that she was fine. I didn't know how much she worried about me until after she died."

"I…"

"You didn't know. You were a child, Edward. I'm sure you thought everything was normal."

"I did," I admitted. "I thought it was strange that Esme never panicked about anything. I thought she was just better at hiding it."

"Bella won't sit at home and worry about you the way your mother did about me. You need to consider that she'll be with you."

"I don't want her to be in any danger."

"I understand, but life is dangerous, Edward. Anything could happen on any given day, whether she's a spy or not, and she'll still be a spy whether or not you're with her. That's not going to change at this point unless she flunks out of The Farm."

I nodded. He'd given me a lot to process. I felt like I'd been put through the ringer. I had to decide whether or not to try and talk to Bella. Fortunately, I had three months to make up my mind. It was also unfortunate that I had three months. Three months could feel like forever.

Everyone had left by the time I made it downstairs. Alice probably hadn't bothered to come in since she could just as easily work from home. I wasn't due to go hunting for Tanya again since I'd just done it the previous evening. It was fairly obvious that she knew I was looking for her. She covered her tracks pretty well and I was certain that she was shielding herself. I had to catch her asleep.

I'd spent the past few weeks after her physical trail had gone cold trying to trace her via the ether. It wasn't working so well. The problem was that now she knew Bella was working for SpecInt and she'd gone to surveilling us.

The fact that she was watching Dmitri wasn't all that shocking. They'd come to us together. Dmitri could shoot any target. It was honestly a special ability. The man never missed – ever. From the time he first picked up a weapon in his teens he'd been able to shoot exactly what he wanted. He was working with Heidi and Alec doing all the things the government didn't want to touch and thus contracted out. Heidi was a master manipulator, she could convince anyone of anything, and Alec could make people just not see things. He'd done it to me once, it was weird. Something would be there and then just not exist. Both of them had been with SpecInt for a little over a year. Carlisle and Alistair had pulled them out of a class at The Farm because there had been allegations of cheating.

The CIA didn't like to use alternate methods of intelligence gathering, in particular those that rely on the supernatural. They needed to keep their funds and noses out of anything that seemed odd. That's why they contracted out to us. We offered plausible deniability. Alec and Heidi were perfect for us, and the CIA was glad to let SpecInt have them. Of course neither had cheated while at The Farm, not intentionally. Both had been inadvertently manipulating the situation to their advantage.

Dmitri didn't work with a viewer. He didn't believe in them, and was rather adamant that the whole thing was a sham. It didn't matter how much he and Tanya argued about it, he still wouldn't listen to any data she gave him. It wasn't until after she left that he was willing to accept any help that involved RV. Dmitri and Tanya seemed to hate each other for all intents and purposes. Perhaps her flight with our database information had more to do with him than me. After all, she was tracking him.

I decided to stop torturing myself, and looked through the unassigned cases on the computer. There were a couple of law enforcement jumps that had been assigned coordinates. That was how I ended up spending the rest of my day since I knew I'd drive myself crazy thinking about the Jacob Black interrogation or Tanya or Bella if I allowed myself to be idle.

**Jacob**

_2 August 2010 Atlanta, Georgia_

There were five people standing around outside of the studio after filming a segment. Adrian was having an animated conversation with them. The runner who had my phone was nowhere to be seen and I desperately wanted another cup of coffee to get through my morning. Unfortunately, it looked like I wasn't going to have much more of a morning to get through.

"Jake!" Adrian, the producer for the morning news, called me over. He was kind of a small guy, but not someone you disrespected. He had enough pull to make your life hell if he wanted to. I skipped the stop by craft services for coffee and stepped up next to him.

"Sir?"

"These people want to talk with you. They said it could take a while." He eyed me and then the visitors anxiously. "I'm giving you the day off."

I nodded.

Of the five, the only one who looked vaguely familiar was this woman. She was on the dainty side, but she had this strange bronze-colored hair with Technicolor highlights. There was something about her nose and maybe her cheekbones that seemed familiar, like I'd met her or someone who looked like her before. She had her arms crossed like she couldn't be bothered to feign interest in what was going on. I had the inexplicable urge to kiss her senseless, but I didn't because that's not the way you're supposed to behave in public.

I noticed the blonde next. She seemed like she could be intimidating. The dark haired guy standing next to her looked like he was an ex-marine. I thought she might have been as well. The fourth was a blond haired guy who seemed to be looking straight through me. The last was a tiny – almost childlike – redhead. Her lips curled into a grin when she saw me.

"Jacob Black?" the blond guy asked.

"Yes," I answered.

"Jasper," he identified himself and stuck out his hand.

I was a bit wary, but I shook it anyway.

"My colleagues and I would like to have a word with you privately."

I suddenly felt completely at ease with the guy.

"Sure," I said.

"Good, if you don't mind coming with us, we have someone else to pick up as well."

I nodded, and completely forgot to ask why they needed to talk to me. I was just too calm and relaxed. Technicolor girl linked her arm through mine on one side and the big guy moved to my other. I was quickly ushered out of the studio, down to the parking garage and into a van without even thinking twice about what was going on.

I felt suspicious for a split second when Jasper stepped out and then Seth got into the van. It was odd, like I couldn't help but relax even though I was fairly certain that I should be panicking. We pulled up to a house just outside The Perimeter* near Stone Mountain.

They ushered us up the stairs, through the front door and into the living room. Jasper touched my shoulder and I relaxed so much that I seemed to melt into the sofa.

I woke up to Technicolor girl staring at me.

"Oh, good, you're alive," she said with a smile.

"What?" I asked, still clearing the cobwebs of sleep off my mind.

"Jasper knocked you out and you went down pretty hard. I was worried."

"Knocked me out?"

"You seem fine now," she said, and picked my laptop which had been sitting, unnoticed by me, on the coffee table between us. They must have gotten into my apartment somehow. I felt a surge of panic when I remembered that it had been sitting on my bedside table that morning.

"Who are you?"

"I don't know that I'm supposed to tell you that," she said and grimaced. She looked a bit younger sitting cross-legged on the couch with my laptop balanced on her thighs. It was hard to think of her as a threat. "I probably should have asked that, huh?"

"It seems like important information to have," I agreed.

"I don't get out much," she said. She'd started typing rapidly.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, work, saving the world, keeping hackers from destroying things…"

"Really?"

"Nope, you have World of Warcraft on here and I'm not strictly allowed to play it as part of my parole. But… since this is your computer and no one will know I'm using your account..." she trailed off.

"What?" I sat up.

"Not really, but the next time you yahoos break into my server I'm ganking** your character, okay?"

"Your server?" This was about Bella. I should have known when they picked up Seth but my brain had been so muddled by whatever they'd done to me that I hadn't been thinking straight.

"My server."

"I was unaware that I'd somehow invaded your personal property."

"Dude, really? The least you could do was hire a decent hacker. That kid," she pointed her thumb down the hall, "has no clue how to cover his tracks. I actually sat and watched him try to break my encryption for about a week. He's like a wee babe lost in the wilderness. You shouldn't put him in this kind of situation."

"What situation would that be?"

"Doing whatever dirty work you need. I mean, really, at least hire someone who could survive a night in lockup next time," she snorted.

"Like you've ever spent a full night in lock up," a voice sounded from behind me.

I turned and saw the dark haired Marine in the doorway.

"No supply closet in the house?" Technicolor girl asked.

"I don't need a closet," the Marine answered.

"EWWWW! No details," Technicolor girl shrieked.

"Oh, come on, Ren, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell." The Marine moved around the couch and sat next to her, looking over her shoulder.

I was beginning to worry about what she might be doing with my computer.

"Emmett." The large man extended his hand across the table for me to shake.

"Jacob Black," I responded.

"So, we're doing names?" Technicolor girl asked.

"I don't think it much matters," Emmett answered.

"Renesmee." She waved at me over the laptop rather than extending her hand.

"Nessie?" I asked.

"Ren – ez- may," she replied irritably.

"That's an awfully long name."

"They call me Ren," she explained.

"What are you doing to my computer?"

"I'm making sure you're not a threat," she said. "You were looking for something on my server, and I need to make sure you are who you say you are."

That laptop had not been cheap. It also had all of my free-lance work on it, and it'd been a few weeks since my last backup.

"Girl, if you mess anything up…"

"Girl?" she scoffed. "I am Ren, computer goddess to you."

"Renesmee," I said, refusing to call her Ren. I realized at that moment that it sounded a lot like Nessie the Loch Ness monster.

She clicked her tongue.

"Oh, look at that one," Emmett said, pointing at the screen.

"Is that Bella?" she asked turning her head to the side. They were in my personal files.

"Get out of there," I protested and made a grab for the computer. My hand was unable to grasp the back of the laptop, instead it seemed to fly backwards.

"Don't touch," Emmett warned me.

"These are really good," she said to Emmett. He leaned over and continued to look with her.

"Listen, _Nessie_," I said, trying to come up with something more insulting to call her.

Her eyes snapped up and met mine, I had her attention.

"It's Ren," she snapped.

"Get out of my pictures, Nessie."

"You mess with my server and I'll look through whatever I want. You're lucky that I didn't just hack you back and jack up your machine."

I reached out again and felt my whole body inexplicably crash backward into the couch, like someone had shoved me down.

"What the-"

"Behave, or I'll interrupt Jasper with the Clearwater boy and tell him you're getting belligerent," Emmett warned.

"Fine." I crossed my arms and sat back.

Jasper, the blond, appeared from the back of the house with Seth in tow.

'I'm sorry,' Seth mouthed.

I gave him one nod back.

"Sit," Jasper pointed next to me on the couch. Seth quickly sat in the appointed spot. "Come on, Black."

I got up and followed Jasper back to a small office. The tiny redhead was sitting on a couch the sat against one wall. Jasper sat behind the desk and indicated that I should sit across from him. My back was to the redhead.

"My coworker, Maggie, will be assisting with this interrogation."

"Shouldn't I have a lawyer?" I asked.

"If you want a lawyer, you can have one, but should you ask for one, I want to make it very clear that I will then be forced to turn you over to the authorities and press charges. As is, I simply want to have a little conversation." He smiled, and a strange feeling washed over me. It was like I was going to accept his terms without question.

I nodded.

"So, you agree to answer my questions without legal involvement?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Good." He folded his arms behind his head and leaned back. I felt a kind of shift in the air. "Are you Jacob Black, son of William Black from the Quileute Indian Reservation?"

"Yes."

He looked over my shoulder at the girl and nodded.

"Are you acquainted with Isabella Swan?'

"Yes."

He nodded again.

"When was the last time you spoke to Miss Swan?"

"Right before she left for Maryland." I couldn't not answer. The words just flowed out of me.

"What was the nature of that conversation?"

"I was attempting to get her to stay. She returned my engagement ring. I'd kind of hoped that she would change her mind about calling off the engagement until then," I explained.

He nodded again.

"Have you tried to contact Miss Swan?"

"Yes."

"Has she responded?"

"No."

I looked down at my hands. I felt foolish for having been so persistent in trying to get her to call me back, but I was worried about her.

"Did you hire Seth Clearwater to hack into the SpecInt server?"

"Yes," I admitted my guilt.

"What was your motivation for this action?"

"I wanted to verify what I thought had happened. I thought that she had fallen back in with her Ex, Edward Cullen. I was concerned that she was involved in something dangerous given his history."

It seemed rather foolish when said aloud.

"Have you discussed your findings from our server with anyone other than Mr. Clearwater?"

"No."

"Do you have ties to any groups engaged in espionage?"

That question threw me. Why would he ask that?

"No."

"Have you ever had contact with a known spy?"

"Yes," I answered. Edward Cullen fit that bill and I had certainly had contact with him. In addition, there was the man who tipped me off about Edward.

"Mr. Black, I need you to make a list of any spies or potential spies you've had contact with."

He slid a piece of paper across the desk with a pen. I scribbled down Edward Cullen's name. I supposed that Bella had to be included in that group so I added her. I didn't have a name for the man who had contacted me about Edward.

"There's one more." I slid the paper back. "I only ever had contact with him over the phone. A man called me years ago, I was searching for Edward Cullen, and he had information. I'm sure that he was a spy, but I don't know his name…"

"Have you continued contact with him?"

"No."

"Has he made any further attempt to contact you, particularly in the last six months."

"No."

"Good."

"Good?" I asked.

"Mr. Black, it seems that although misguided and slightly obsessive that you pose no immediate threat to the organization I represent."

"Oookay?"

"I'm letting you go," he said to clarify.

I looked up at him. He was leaning forward with his elbows propped on the desk.

"What about Bella?" I asked.

"What about her?"

"Is she safe? Is she involved …"

"Miss Swan is fine," he said formally. "She isn't being held against her will or harmed."

"Can you tell me anything else?"

He sighed and looked carefully at me. "If she doesn't want to talk to you, perhaps you should let her go?"

"I can't. She's always been my friend. I can hardly remember a time without her," I confessed. "I'm not looking to get her back… I just-"

"I can't make her contact you," he said.

"I understand." I nodded. "Is she happy?"

"She's well," he said. I couldn't help but notice that he didn't exactly answer my question.

I knew that I shouldn't ask the one question I wanted to, but I needed an answer. "Is she with him?"

"I won't pass you information about her," he responded.

I nodded.

"Stop harassing her before she decides to file charges," he added.

I nodded again. I couldn't help it. He was right. I could see clearly that I should have left her alone.

He led me back to the living room where Seth waited for me. My computer had been packed back up into my bag, which seemed to have appeared from nowhere.

The Loch Ness monster approached and poked me in the chest.

"Behave," she said. I inhaled and caught a breath of her perfume. She smelled like cookies. It was quite difficult to feel threatened by her.

"I will, Nessie." I leaned toward her a bit, forcing her finger to bend and create more contact between her hand and my chest. I wanted to put her off balance so to speak.

She narrowed her eyes at me and growled.

"Enough, Ren," Jasper said, and then he turned to me. "We'll take you home."

"Thank you," I grunted.

"We would appreciate it if you forgot this meeting," he continued.

I suppressed my anger. Emmett, the big guy, and the blonde haired woman led us out the door. I followed them to their van outside. Seth and I climbed in. I felt much more disgruntled than I had before. Something untoward had certainly happened but I couldn't put my finger on it.

* * *

*The Perimeter – AKA I-285 It makes a ring around Atlanta. It is simply referred to as "The Perimeter" by locals. Most things in Atlanta are dived into "inside the Perimeter" and "outside the Perimeter." People living outside The Perimeter often dread going in, and some of those living within dread going out.

** Ganking – I must admit that I have been using this term incorrectly. Back in the days (of dinosaurs when I was a hardcore geek) when MUDs and MMOs were merely text based interface we used the term "ganking" to mean stealing. In modern day gamer terminology (according to Felicia Day and The Guild) ganking is unfairly attacking another player. Like let's say said player is fishing, or napping and you jumped him, that would be ganking.

* * *

**End Note:**

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm hoping that I got through all of the review replies before posting this, but it's been a stressful week and I'm assuming that y'all want a chapter more than a reply in most cases. So… if I happened to miss you this week it's not for lack of love I've just had a heck of a week and I'm going to take some meds and be completely useless for a while.

_(I have read all of the reviews at least twice though – thank you so much!)_


	36. Chapter 35 War Games

**A/N:**

Thanks to loss4words for beta'ing!

* * *

**Bella**

_2 August 2010 Camp Peary_

The drive from the dormitory area to the firing range was longer than I anticipated. The instructor who'd pulled me before breakfast hopped out before we'd fully stopped at a large building. He still hadn't introduced himself. I quickly followed him. The driver pulled off as soon as my feet touched the ground.

"Come on, let's see what you've got," the instructor said. He led me into the building. "Normally, you'd do this test with a couple of other trainees, but since you're so special that you get the abbreviated course, you'll be doing it with some instructors who volunteered to _help_ you."

I didn't like the way he said help.

"We're going to make sure you know the basics and then move up from there in difficulty." He grinned, and handed me eye and ear protection.

The grin seemed more than a little sinister for my taste.

He led me to a firing range.

"For each of the handguns you're going to give me 6 shots prone, 3 shots strong side kneeling barricade position, 6 shots standing, and 3 shots weak side kneeling barricade position all at 25 feet. You will have 75 seconds per handgun. This does not include loading. When you are ready you will nod and I will start your time."

I loaded the first gun in line, donned my ear and eye protection and nodded at him, before dropping to the ground to begin. The site seemed slightly off but I managed just fine.

On the second weapon after I nodded someone began yelling to my left. I tuned it out, focused on my breathing and the target instead. After I finished the series it was pretty obvious that the yelling was meant to distract me. My aim had been fine – not perfect but good enough.

He seemed disappointed when I picked up the next firearm. He pulled in the target and swapped it for a new one while I loaded the clip. After a couple of shots someone in another cubicle started firing something very large caliber. I could feel it resonate in my chest, but it didn't mess up my aim too much. Whatever it was shook the floor.

I went down the line of weapons that had been laid out pretty much the same way.

The distractions stopped after a while. When I turned to look behind me after firing the last weapon in line, I realized that I had an audience. There were four guys standing with their arms crossed and jaws open. I smiled at them and turned to my instructor.

"Was that okay?" I yelled.

He removed his ears* and I followed his lead.

"That'll do," he said.

We moved to the other end of the range. I had to qualify on a couple of rifles, including an M16. I wasn't much of a rifle girl, but I passed.

My audience had followed us. I tried not to get cocky. I was starting to feel a bit shaky after a morning without breakfast and all of the adrenaline going through my system. When the crowd and I started to leave the range I felt myself sway, and for a brief moment I felt myself disconnect, but I stamped my foot down and clawed my way back into my body.

The guy standing next to me put an arm around my shoulders for a moment to steady me. He was a short, slim guy with red hair.

"Swan?"

"I'm fine," I said.

"Here." He handed me a protein bar from his pocket.

I promptly scarfed it down. There was a water fountain in the hallway and I made the briefest of pit stops to wash down the bar.

Mr. Irritable, the instructor who'd collected me from the morning run was tapping his foot when I looked up. I acknowledged him with a nod.

"What's next?"

"CQB," he answered.

Closed Quarters Battle was something that I was only kind of familiar with. I knew what the book said, but I also knew what my dad said. Charlie had some thoughts on what one should do firing at close range. I was fairly certain that we were still talking about firing handguns.

I was wrong.

"This is a tactical course," he explained. "Your objective is to rescue the hostage, and neutralize all threats on the course."

I nodded.

He inclined his head to where the guys who would be running the course with me were. They were gearing up. I noticed a pile of untouched gear and stepped up to it. I strapped a Kevlar vest on over my sweats, and followed with the gun belt and helmet. I realized that it must look comical over top of a pair of sweats but I shrugged it off. Honestly, who was I going to impress with my looks? I was fairly certain that no one would care about whether or not I looked cute, so long as I took out the required targets.

"Have you done this before?" the red haired guy asked.

"Not this exactly." I grimaced. "Once in high school I did a similar exercise with my Dad's friends on the police force buddies as part of IPSC."

"IPSC is an interesting hobby for a teenage girl."

"I only did it once. They needed another person for a team event."

He nodded. "Targets are going to pop up as we go through the course. If we don't fire on them, they disappear. You'll be on a point system. If the hostage gets shot you fail."

I nodded.

Looking around, I noticed that the other guys didn't seem too pleased that red was giving me advice.

"I'm not being set up for failure, am I?"

"I have your back," he whispered.

**~V258~**

Having my back didn't prove to be too helpful, as the other guys in the group didn't seem too motivated to shoot at much. Essentially, two of us were doing the bulk of the shooting meant for six. I passed, but just barely.

On two separate occasions Red and I stormed into a room only to find that the others hadn't followed because they were needlessly checking their gear. Red was notably upset.

There wasn't much of a break following the course. I was ushered into another Jeep with Red, whose last name turned out to be O'Brian – I still didn't know his first.

"I'm positive that I know your Dad," O'Brian blurted out when we were alone.

"You do?"

"Charlie Swan, Forks Washington Police Department, right?"

"Yeah…"

"You hold a pistol the same way he does." He smirked.

"Is that good or bad?"

"It's interesting."

"Okay," I laughed.

"Honestly, it gets the job done. A lot of instructors would try to correct it, but it seems to work for you."

I nodded.

"I'm kind of surprised to see you here," he confessed. "Charlie's not overly fond of the intelligence community."

"I'm aware."

"Dad's giving you a hard time?"

"Not really. This kind of qualifies as extenuating circumstances."

"That's right, you're with SpecInt." He grinned. "So, how weird are you?"

"SpecInt isn't weird."

"Riiiiggghhttt… That's just where all of the stuff we don't want CIA stamped on goes."

"Just because you don't understand it –" I started to yell.

"Don't get your panties in a wad," he interrupted. "Given your personality and the way you shoot, we could use you if you're interested in the legitimate spy business. That and there's a recommendation in your file…"

I shot him a puzzled look.

"An inquiry was made… you've impressed people before even reaching The Farm, which isn't completely unprecedented, but it's rare."

"Oh, that." I was fairly certain that Liam's request to work with me had been noted.

"You're very modest," he observed.

We drove through a wooded area and then past an airfield to the driving course. There were three driving courses situated together.

"If you want to jump ship, let me know. Since you're Charlie's kid I'd be willing to go to bat for you."

"Thanks."

I turned my attention to the courses and gulped. They looked so much more intimidating that the cones that Rosalie set up in the lot at SpecInt.

"You'll need to test on all three today," O'Brian informed me. "We start tradecraft training tomorrow and you need to test out of all of the paramilitary modules today, except for jump school. You can do that while you do tradecraft. It'll be tiring but you'll get out of here faster."

It was going to be a long three months.

**~V258~**

**Jacob**

_2 August 2010 Atlanta, Georgia_

They dropped Seth off first, then me. As soon as they'd left my parking lot I was out the door heading back to the studio to track down my phone. The runner had left it in the control room for me. I went from there to find Seth.

"We have to have been drugged," I said.

"I don't know how." Seth shrugged. "They didn't stick me with a needle, I didn't eat or drink anything…"

"Maybe we inhaled something?"

"But wouldn't they have been exposed?"

I grunted, acknowledging that he was probably correct.

"I know one thing," Seth said. "I am never hacking into anything remotely government related again. Especially, nothing connected to that Ren girl."

I cocked my head at him.

"She's scary," he admitted.

"She smells like cookies," I said.

"You sniffed her?"

I nodded.

"Bro, that is disturbing on so many levels."

I didn't think it was all that disturbing. She obviously wore some sort of cookie scented perfume or soap or something. I kind of liked it.

"You buying me dinner?" Seth asked.

"Yep," I said and led him to my car.

The one good thing that had come out of the day was that I knew Bella was alive and well. Granted, they wouldn't tell me if she was with Edward again, and I couldn't get any details, but she was okay. That was all I really wanted to know.

It's hard to grow up with someone, spend most of your time with her, and then just stop caring. I was so used to taking care of her that I hadn't known what to do with myself for months. I went to work. I called her. I took some photos. I sent her an e-mail while I processed them.

It seemed like she was taken care of. For the first time in a long time I didn't have to worry about her. I didn't want to admit it, but it was a relief. I just hoped that she didn't get screwed over again.

"Have you heard a single word I've said?"

"No," I admitted.

"Dude, The Varsity*, getting kidnapped by a team of spies warrants a chili dog and a frosted orange."

I corrected my course and headed back toward The Varsity. I was going to have to work out a lot to compensate for the amount of fat we were about to ingest, but Seth was right getting kidnapped by spies and escaping with all of ones fingers and toes warranted some sort of celebration.

"So, I was thinking about how to get your girl back…"

"She's not my girl, Seth."

I could feel Seth staring at me.

"Do not tell me that we just broke all sorts of laws to try and rescue a girl you don't even like."

I sighed as we pulled into the lot.

"I do like her," I said, "but there's no amount of affection on my part that's ever going to make her love me. I should move on."

"I hate you."

"Come on, I'll buy."

"Yeah, you'd better be buying," he scoffed and hopped out of my car, slamming the door behind him.

**~V258~**

_6 August 2010 Atlanta, Georgia_

It was late and I'd logged into a demo server for a game Seth had been working on when someone sent me a tell*. I glanced at it for a second before I realized that the gamer wasn't Seth or any of his friends. It was from _LochNessRen. _I momentarily blinked at the name. It couldn't be.

_LochNessRen : I'm watching_

_BlackWolf: You're aware that this is a private server?_

_LochNessRen :That doesn't seem to bother you._

_BlackWolf: …_

_LochNessRen: I can find you anywhere._

_BlackWolf: How is my friend?_

_LochNessRen: She's off at tradecraft training, but she was fine before._

_BlackWolf: Thank you._

_LochNessRen: You should leave her alone._

_BlackWolf: I will, I just wanted to know that she was alright._

_LochNessRen: it's only two steps between concerned friend and scary stalker._

_BlackWolf: I'll keep that in mind._

_LochNessRen: This game looks cool, do you want someone to raid with?_

_BlackWolf: As long as you don't slow me down._

_LochNessRen: ;)_

Thus, our raiding party started. I actually started to like her by the end of it.

_LochNessRen: Will you be on again?_

_BlackWolf: Maybe next week. I don't play on this server unless Seth wants me to check out new features._

_LochNessRen: Next week it is then. ;)_

_BlackWolf: l8r_

_LochNessRen: l8r_

I didn't want to admit it, but Renesmee was actually pretty cool. After I logged out actually marked off the following Friday night to game with her.

* * *

*The Varsity is a restaurant in Atlanta. It opened in 1928, and serves the best hot dogs and fries. They also have a drink called a frosted orange. It's better than a Frosty. Mmmmm… I can feel my arteries clogging just thinking about it.

**End Note:**

Dangit… I just gave myself a craving for The Varsity, which is trouble since I'm heading back to Atlanta sometime soon.

Okay, so since I didn't do a lot of review replies last week I tried to get to everyone this week. If I missed you, I'm sorry. Next week we'll be back to my norm of responding if I have something relevant to say, otherwise, assume that I appreciate it and I'm saying thank you. I honestly read all of them at least twice.

I'll have something up on the blog later. Mainly, part of the research I did for Bella's portion of the chapter.

Mwah! Have a great week!


	37. Chapter 36 Agent

**A/n:**

Thank you once again to loss4words. Apologies are in the end note.

* * *

**Ren**

_7 August 2010 Falls Church, Virginia _

Okay, so maybe I was breaking my parole. Maybe just a bit, but I wasn't playing WOW. I wasn't even on an MMO that was available to the public. It was a private server and I barely had to hack it to give myself permission to create an account…

At some point I was going to get caught and Carlisle was going to put me under house arrest.

What was I supposed to do when I couldn't sleep?

I supposed that I could lie there with a book all night, but my mom's computer was just downstairs in her office. It's not like she used the thing for anything other than e-mail and word processing, which was a complete waste of the kick-ass video card I'd installed when I built it. It was calling to me.

Then there was my new temptation, Jacob Black, or Black Wolf as he called himself on almost every MMO he was registered with. I knew where to find him. I thought perhaps it would be an adversarial type of thing, like I kind of wanted to wipe the floor with him for calling me Nessie.

On the other hand, I was in need of a guy, and Jacob, annoying as he was, was still kind of hot. He had dark hair, and caramel skin… he was also built well enough that I'd considered licking him when he tried to intimidate me. Nothing diffuses male stupidity like randomly licking a nose. It puts them off their guard. Having said that, I totally would never lick an ugly dude.

And he was a gamer! Hot gamer guys could be difficult to find. Most of them were solely into FPS style gaming, which didn't interest me in the slightest. I was more into the story and the long game. There were these other worlds to explore in which I could be a completely different person. I could be an elf. I could be magical. I was so much cooler in game. There was also a social aspect to MMOs that I appreciated.

The big problem was that RL* relationships tended to suffer. Finding a significant other to game with was like the holy grail of dating. This way no one was upset spending a weekend watching anyone else raiding. Instead, we could do it together.

This is not to say that I didn't have a life. I really did have one. I wanted a guy who gamed and had a life outside of gaming too. Jacob seemed to have potential.

He was also an artist. The things that man could do with a camera… I appreciated his eye. The images said a lot about how he saw the world.

I was concerned about his attraction to Bella, but she seemed disinterested, and he _did_ refer to her as a 'friend.' Guys don't generally go into the friend zone with an attractive woman if it could be avoided, and Bella was pretty good looking – especially in the photos he'd taken of her.

I wasn't sure if I was in her league, but I was willing to give it a shot. Jacob seemed like a bit of a geek and I figured that my geek factor might help me be more attractive when it came to him. I was pretty sure that Bella didn't play video games, and guys who play can't resist a girl who'll do it with them rather than nagging about wasted time.

But I wasn't supposed to be playing…

Geez…

I was heading for trouble with a capital "T."

It was worth it. YOLO**, right?

I removed all of the evidence that I'd been using the computer that I could before shutting it down.

**~V258~**

_16 August 2010 SpecInt Headquarters, MD_

My cousin, Edward, could be a tool sometimes. He'd read the interrogation notes, Jasper had even taped it, and he was still digging for information. It wasn't like it was going to change just because one of us gave him a play by play. It'd been two weeks. He just didn't know when to quit. He kept hounding me.

"He called her his friend," I said.

"When was that?" Emmett asked. He was in his cubicle when Edward pulled me aside to ask 'one more time.'

"He said it," I insisted.

"I don't remember that," Emmett said.

I could have sworn that he said it… then it occurred to me. He'd said it online, not in person. I was totally getting busted. I could feel it. There was no way I was going to get by with having said that.

"I'm sure he did," I insisted half-heartedly. I heard the office door behind me open.

"Ren?" I heard Jasper call me.

"Yeah?" I looked over my shoulder at his office door, and stepped away from Edward's cube. I was done. Jasper had '_dad-face_.' You know that look your dad used to give you when you would get caught doing something wrong. It was all over Jasper's face. I'd done something wrong and he knew it, even though he didn't know what it was. He had every intention of finding out. I was screwed.

"What have you been up to?"

"Nothing…" I sounded like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar and I knew it.

"Empath," he said and tapped his head.

"Crapcakes!" I stamped my foot, and took another step forward. Edward followed me out of the cube.

"Shall we try this again?"

"Okay, I might have continued contact with him," I admitted. I hoped to downplay my interaction with Jacob and avoid the fact that I'd been using my mom's computer entirely.

"Might?" Edward chimed in.

"Fine, I've had contact with him," I clarified.

"How much _contact?_" Emmett asked, peeking over the cubicle wall.

"Not that kind of contact, perv." I flopped down into Bella's chair because it was the closest.

Emmett remained with his head popping up over the stupid cube, while Edward and Jasper blocked off the door. It wasn't like I had any intention of escaping. I knew better than that. If I was lucky, maybe they wouldn't tell Carlisle right away.

"You're being evasive," Jasper commented.

"Okay, fine. He logs onto a private server to play a demo for this new MMO that some guys at GT are developing. I may have hacked my way into the server and created an account. I may also have been meeting him there for a couple of weeks."

"Ren?"

"What?" I sighed.

"You know you're not supposed to have access to the internet outside of work."

"I have insomnia," I said.

"Read a book," Edward huffed.

I sighed. I'd heard that argument before.

"Whose computer are you using?"

"Mom's."

Edward shoved his hands into his hair and scrubbed at his scalp hard enough that it looked like it hurt.

"But shouldn't someone stay in contact with him just in case that spy makes contact again?" I asked. It was the only excuse I could think of that they might go for. It was totally wrong. Saying it was a bad move because Jasper was going to jump on that little piece of deception and run with it.

"See, sugar, this _sounds_ like a good idea, but it shouldn't be you, and you shouldn't be breaking your parole," Jasper said.

"I _like_ him." I came clean.

"I can tell." Jasper smiled.

"You're into Jacob Black?" Emmett asked.

"Isn't he a bit old for you?" Edward interjected.

"How old was Bella when you dated her?" I fired back.

"Burn!" Emmett shouted.

Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Guys, come on, it's hard to find a decent guy these days," I whined.

"Is he a decent guy?" Emmett asked. "You don't know him that well."

"Bella was engaged to him," I said. "He can't be that bad."

"She does have a point there," Edward reluctantly came to my aid, even though it looked like it pained him to do it. "Jacob has always been a stand up kind of guy. He's very protective. Bella's a good judge of character."

"Soooo… are you going to rat me out?"

"We have to," Jasper said.

I slammed my fist down onto Bella's desk.

"Don't worry, little bit, Carlisle's not sending you to jail," Emmett tried to comfort me.

I glared at him. The guys were totally going to sell me out to the man. I was ticked.

**~V258~**

**Edward**

_16 August 2010 SpecInt Headquarters_

"We should use that connection," Carlisle said.

I stared at my father completely dumbfounded. This was completely contrary to what he told my aunt. Suddenly he was putting Ren in danger? Ren was a nineteen year old. Granted she'd been in trouble and spent three days in jail, but this was a whole new level of danger. She wasn't a spy. She wasn't trained.

"Carlisle?" Jasper seemed just as shocked as I was.

"We should treat Ren like an asset. One of us can handle her. It'll be much more straightforward this way."

"Ren's nineteen and your niece," I said.

"We need someone to keep tabs on him and make sure that he hasn't been contacted. She already has a relationship of trust with the target. Having one of you attempt to build a rapport with Black at this point would be pointless," Carlisle explained. "It's traditional spycraft. You use who you have in place. We turn assets who aren't spies all the time. This one just doesn't require turning."

Jasper sighed.

I pulled my hair.

"The two of you are acting like I'm putting her in danger," Carlisle scoffed.

"Aren't you?" I asked.

"No, I'm not. I'm asking the girl to continue a relationship with a man she likes and to just pass on any information she finds out. She's not even going to leave the office to do it. There's no risk involved."

"There's always risk involved," I protested. "What if she accidentally compromises him? She could get him killed."

"How exactly is she going to do that?"

"Things happen. What if she says the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time?"

"For goodness sakes, Edward, you worry entirely too much," Carlisle said. "Ren will be in no more danger doing this than visiting our house on the weekend. This is hardly different than her providing tech support."

"This is exactly different! You want her to act as an informant. How, in your twisted mind does 'using her as an asset' not equate to putting her in danger. No, absolutely not, you can't do this," I argued, pacing the length of the office.

"I'm not sending her to Atlanta, Edward. She can keep in contact with him from here."

"What about when she goes home? She's obviously been contacting him on Aunt Helen's computer. What if the spy who contacted him has already traced the connection?"

"We'll move her into my house. Esme and I can keep an eye on her. We should probably be doing that anyway since she's apparently been breaking the terms of her parole. It's unlikely that Helen would be in any danger," Carlisle said.

"I'll handle Ren," Jasper volunteered. I stared at him in shock. Why was he suddenly changing his mind?

"It should be me," I said, because if anyone was going to watch out for Ren it should be me.

"You don't even want this to happen," Jasper protested.

"Neither do you, and she's my cousin." I folded my arms and stared him down.

"I'm married to your sister, she's mine too," he countered.

"Perhaps someone else should do it," Carlisle interrupted.

"Who?" Jasper asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Alice could do it. They're not close but Ren has always looked up to Alice, and it might be easier discussing things with another woman," Carlisle suggested.

"What would she need to discuss with a woman that she couldn't tell us?" I practically shouted.

"Oh!" Jasper said, shocked.

"How are you going to react if their relationship progresses?" Carlisle asked. He looked sick to his stomach.

"Progresses?" I asked. Then it occurred to me… "Oh!"

"Yes, oh. I think Alice is better equipped to deal with this."

"I agree," I said. The last thing I wanted to hear about was my baby cousin sexting with Bella's ex.

"Completely," Jasper said, looking a bit green around the gills.

I nodded.

"Send Alice up," Carlisle said, indicating the door.

Ren was sitting in her chair outside of the office tapping her feet.

"How did it go?" she asked.

"You're in less trouble than you should be," I said, shaking my finger at her.

"Do I need to… uh…" She pointed at the door.

"Not yet, he wants to speak to Alice first," Jasper said. He was already halfway down the hall when Ren turned back to me.

"Honestly, how bad?" she asked.

I sat down on the corner of her desk.

"He's surprisingly calm about the whole thing."

"He is?"

"Yeah," I reassured her.

I heard Alice running up the stairs. Her heels were clicking the whole way up. She was running. I turned and looked over my shoulder at her.

"You didn't talk him out of it?!" Alice half-shouted at me when she reached the door.

"Didn't you see it?" I asked.

"I did, but I thought for sure you and Jasper would talk him out of it!"

"Obviously we failed." I gestured at her.

"This is a bad idea."

"What's a bad idea?" Ren asked. "What are the two of you talking about?"

"Don't worry yet," I said.

"Alice, have you _seen_ something?" Ren asked. "Do I have something to worry about? Is he going to turn me in?"

"I forgot that she didn't know yet." Alice sighed. "No, honey, you're fine."

"You don't sound like I'm fine," Ren said, pulling her knees up to her chest, and wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Is she safe?" I asked.

"Of course she's safe, at least for now," Alice said ominously.

"So, you're going to do it?" I asked.

"I don't think I have the option not to," Alice said and ducked into Carlisle's office.

Ren's eyes were as wide as saucers. I grinned, patted her on the shoulder and walked away.

"Just do what Alice says," I called over my shoulder.

I knew one thing, I was probably moving back home to help keep an eye on Ren.

* * *

*RL – Real Life

**YOLO – You Only Live Once (Side note, I'm so glad that I'm not the only person who had to look this up. Note further to the side, my general response to this is: No, you only _die_ once.)

* * *

**End Note:**

Oh, hi there. So… it's been two and a half weeks… It was kind of an unavoidable thing. You see, my Best Friend/Little Sister had her baby. She kept swearing that this kid was coming early and since she's a first time parent I totally wrote that possibility off. I've spent about a week at her house teaching Motherhood 101, and running errands. My sister can write a shopping list like nobody's business. She's what we call "high maintenance." It was fun, but exhausting, and I didn't even make it to The Varsity.

Things I'd forgotten about living in Atlanta:

1. Speeding is a way of life. You might get away with 10 over in other states but in Atlanta if you're on a major road and not going 15 over, then the guy behind you is honking and mad.

2. You don't just drop by The Varsity. Trips totally have to be planned.

3, Rush hour – Yeah, I hung out at my big brother's house for an extra hour just to make sure I was clear of it one night.

4. Grocery shopping – Oh my gosh, all the fancy food stuffs! I totally came home with cocoa nibs and masa chips from 'Your Dekalb Farmers Market.' I also hit the Assi market in Duluth. I love that place. Then there's Sevennahdah… Yeah… exotic food is my weakness

5. The Dekalb Farmers Market has a café, but it only takes cash, as does their bakery. Guess who didn't have cash.

6. Fung Mei – Best Chinese restaurant ever, but make sure you order out of the back half of the menu because the front half is for wimpy Anglos. (I couldn't get the waiter to admit to this but I'm pretty sure it's true.)

In addition to the Atlanta trip, my rheumatologist has started me on some meds. I've had some problems with them. Hopefully I'll adjust, but it looks like I may have to choose between pain relief and intelligence. I can either be smart and hurt, or I can feel good but be stupid. It doesn't exactly seem fair on my end.

Also, Daylight savings time. Grrrr… I hate this "Spring Forward" concept.

Anyway, there ya go. Sorry for the delay, hopefully I'll have my act back together soon.


	38. Chapter 37 Leave

**A/n**

Thank you all for your patience, and thanks to loss4words for her mad beta skills.

* * *

**Bella**

_9 September 2010 Vaingloria, The Farm_

We started tradecraft training on August second. As part of the ongoing exercise we were given cover IDs and moved into a separate section of The Farm. They actually had a mock country set up. We lived in houses on the same street and were assigned cover spouses. I was teamed up with a guy from New Jersey named Tyler. All in all he seemed like a decent person, but he played the game a little too well. I could never tell if he was really on my side or preparing to stab me in the back.

We lived by the recruitment pattern:

Spot

Assess

Develop

Recruit

Tyler and I were working on recruiting this one particular instructor whose imaginary persona was a nuclear physicist with a drinking problem and a weakness for dark haired women. Needless to say, I'd dealt with some interesting behavior from him.

The instructors worked my need to attend jump school into my cover. I discovered that I really liked skydiving. There was a rush that made me feel terrified and alive at the same time. I'd found a new favorite hobby. Our physicist had been attending jump school with me. I'd done the initial spotting in our role play.

Tyler helped me take it to the next step. We invited him over for dinner often, and essentially made friends with him. I felt like we had the situation well in hand, which is why I was shocked to receive a summons to the admin building one month into the training opp.

A note was placed in our dead drop location that I was to report to admin alone. Of course Tyler was concerned that we'd messed something up.

"_Our budget was right, wasn't it?" Tyler asked. It was fairly common to have the budgets we turned in as part of the opp scrutinized. On guy had already been sent home because he lied about how he spent his budget. _

"_Yeah, I accounted for everything we've spent," I said, racking my brain for a reason that I would be summoned, particularly without Tyler._

"_You passed jump school…"_

"_Yeah…"_

"_You've tested out of the other modules?"_

"_As far as I know."_

"_Then I have no clue." Tyler dropped down on the couch and sunk into the cushions._

"_I guess I'll find out." I plopped down next to him._

_He affectionately wrapped an arm around me. I had to leave in an hour to make it to admin for the meeting._

I pulled out of our neighborhood and discovered that I was being followed. The other car was hanging back pretty far, but I knew it was tailing me. I took a few quick turns and doubled back around on myself until I lost it. I could feel my hands shaking. The exercise felt very real at times.

When I parked at the admin building, without any unwanted company, I found O'Brian waiting for me. I hadn't seen him since the first day seeing as he wasn't participating in tradecraft training.

"Swan," he acknowledged me, tipping his hat.

"Hi," I said.

"C'mon, you're due upstairs." He led the way to an office on the second floor.

We stepped in and were greeted by a rather busy looking military officer behind a cheap desk.

"Sir," O'Brian addressed him.

"Ah, yes, Swan?"

"Yes, sir."

"You have a pass to leave for the weekend. Someone called it in from Langley."

"Thank you," I said.

"Don't thank me," he responded, returning to his work. "It wasn't my call, apparently someone thinks you deserve a break. Never mind the fact that no one else ever gets one. You will leave the base at 1700 tomorrow… Dismissed."

I backed out of the room as quickly as I could without tripping. O'Brian followed me.

"How goes it?" he asked.

"I think Tyler and I are doing well," I answered.

"Don't get too comfortable," he warned.

"I won't."

He led me back out to the parking lot. "I've heard some good things about you, but you can't become complacent. Everything is a test."

"Sooo… I shouldn't take the leave I've been offered?"

"Oh, no, take that. It'll be a good test to see if your partner can hack it on his own." He grinned. "Just don't forget your goals."

I nodded.

I got back in the car with a grin on my face. I had the weekend off!

I drove back to the house, and Tyler met me at the door.

"What was it?" he asked.

"Someone at Langley called in a weekend of leave for me."

"They're letting you take a weekend off during tradecraft?" He ushered me into the house and closed the door.

"Yeah," I said, grinning from ear to ear.

"This is not good." He shook his head and leaned up against the door.

"It's fine," I tried to reassure him. "I'm sure someone at SpecInt just pulled some strings…"

"Or they're planning on arresting one of us as part of the exercise."

"There's no avoiding it. If they're planning to separate us it'll happen." I crossed my arms.

He nodded.

"Have you done anything to compromise us?" I asked.

"No," he scoffed.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I haven't."

"Me either. Did anyone follow you after the dead drop last week?" I'd been followed from the exact same drop location the week prior. I'd already had to point out a tail to him twice during the exercise.

"There wasn't a tail, I checked."

I grabbed his hand and led him into our den. We sat next to each other on the couch and I turned on the TV. It amazed me how much detail our trainers went to in order to make the Vaingloria experience seem completely real. The TV was hooked into some closed circuit programming that had obviously been filmed in the 1980's.

I was still holding Tyler's hand. It was something we did in public to try and sell our cover story of being a married couple. We tended to continue part of our roles once we were alone.

"There's something to this leave," he said.

"Maybe it's just leave," I suggested.

"Nothing is ever what it seems here. There's always another motive for everything they do."

I nodded.

We sat watching but not watching the television for a few minutes.

"O'Brian said something about seeing if you could hack it on your own," I said.

"He actually said that?"

"Yeah."

"They're going to come after me when you leave."

"Then, you should be ready. Watch your back, stick to the cover story when questioned. You can do this," I reassured him. Honestly there was nothing we could do. If the instructors decided to test us or pull us in for questioning there wasn't much to be done. I saw no sense in worrying about it. Anxiety wasn't going to help us.

"You shouldn't go."

"O'Brian said I should take it."

"He could be setting you up."

By 'you' Tyler meant him.

"This is not a game we can play cautiously. You need to remember that none of this is real. They're not actually going to kill you because Vaingloria isn't real. Getting caught just means that you have to reconsider your career plans," I said. I thought that Tyler should probably reconsider his intended career path anyway. If he was this cautious in a role play I couldn't imagine what would happen when his life was really on the line.

**~V258~**

_10 September 2010 Vaingloria, The Farm_

I went to my pretend Vainglorian job as an art gallery owner. I was glad that the job was fake because aside from photography, I really didn't know what I was doing with art. I'd intentionally skewed the gallery to photography on purpose. Tyler's cover job was in a lab, which gave us access to our mark. In addition, I hosted events at the gallery that brought in the Vainglorian elite. I could see how the situation would work well in real life.

At 4pm I closed the gallery early and went 'home' to pack a bag. I didn't know what I was going to do for transportation but I figured that something would fall into place, even if I had to call for a rental car at the guard shack. I wasn't too attached to my apartment back in Maryland, so I didn't plan on going home for my weekend. I figured that I would waste too many hours driving back and forth.

I scribbled a quick note for Tyler wishing him a good weekend and informing him that there was dinner in the freezer. I was a little worried about him, but I figured that he needed to learn how to get along without me, after all he wouldn't always have a partner to watch his back.

I drove my vehicle to the administration building to retrieve my ID from my locker, then proceeded to the guard shack and parked in the lot. The guard met me as soon as I walked up to the gate.

"Isabella Swan?"

"Yes," I answered, showing him my ID.

"There's a car for you."

"Really?"

"It was left for you this morning," he said, handing me a keychain.

"Thanks."

He nodded and opened the gate for me. I hopped in the car and noticed a note on the dashboard.

_Happy Birthday from Jasper and Dad_

I smiled and turned the key. Jasper must have arranged for leave and Charlie would have taken care of the car. I pulled my personal cell phone out of my bag and discovered that it had lost its charge. I couldn't call and thank either of them, so I plugged the phone in to charge and typed "hotels" into the GPS on the dash. While it went to work I turned the car and headed out. By the time I hit the main road the GPS had given me a plethora of options in Williamsburg. I selected one and followed the directions to a hotel near Colonial Williamsburg.

My plan was to check into the hotel, then get some food and maybe a beer, take it back to the hotel room and get caught up on TV shows. As soon as my phone was charged up enough I was going to call Charlie, and Jasper, too.

Also, I planned on sleeping. It was like they were trying to kill us on The Farm. We had early mornings, late nights, and inevitably our handlers would call at four in the morning. I was pretty sure it was happening to everyone and not just me and Tyler. We weren't completely sleep deprived, but I was looking forward to a good ten hours of uninterrupted sleep.

I wished I had brought my laptop, but it was safely tucked away in my apartment. I thought briefly about abandoning my plan for a weekend alone and heading back to Maryland, but most hotels still had a computer in the business center for guest use.

**~V258~**

I had my weekend all planned out: Food, TV, Sleep, Colonial Williamsburg, and more sleep. That was until my phone finished charging. I'd already pigged out on junk food and finished half of my beer when the light on my phone turned green. I turned it on and it beeped several times indicating messages.

Most of them were probably from Jake. I put the phone on speaker and started listening, the first five were all him and I quickly erased them.

"Change your answering machine code!" Ren's voice came screeching through the phone. I deleted that too.

"Bella, Bella, Bella… It makes my life easier when you man up and tell your ex that you're done with him. We've had a crapstorm goin' on here and I'm fairly certain that you could have prevented it."

I stopped Jasper's message and repeated it. Jake was causing trouble at SpecInt. How?

Jasper didn't give me any indication. The message was intentionally vague and I understood why it needed to be but it was also frustrating. I wanted to know what happened.

"Hey, kid. I hope that you have our present by now. Enjoy your weekend." My dad's short message momentarily distracted me from the problem at hand.

I debated as to whether or not I should call Jasper. I couldn't head all the way home as I was. I was exhausted and that coupled with half a beer would render me a hazard on the road. Ultimately, I called him.

"Why hello there, Bella Bella," he answered.

"Jasper, hi. I wanted to thank you for the weekend off," I said, nervously combing my fingers through my hair.

"… and I can tell without being anywhere near you that you've checked your messages," he commented.

"Yeah," I said sheepishly.

"It's handled."

"What happened?"

"This line isn't secured, so I don't feel comfortable filling you in on the phone. We're about to sit down to a late supper if you wanna head over here…"

"I'm in Williamsburg," I cut him off.

"Oh, that's alright too. I just can't fill you in without a secure connection."

"Did you interrogate him?" I asked.

"Yes, and everything's right as rain."

"Who are you talking to?" I heard a voice in the background on Jasper's end.

"It's Bella, she's in Williamsburg," Jasper curtly replied with his hand over the phone.

"Who's there?" I asked.

"That was Edward." He sighed. I heard grumbling in the background.

"Can you have Edward assign jump coordinates to the interrogation and I can jump it?" If they interrogated Jake I wanted to see it. I wanted to make sure that he was alright.

"Bad idea," Edward said, then grunted.

"Git!" Jasper yelled. I heard another grunt – apparently Edward. Then Jasper was muffled again. "If I wanted to snuggle a Cullen I'd go find Alice or Esme."

"Jasper?"

"Listen, Bella, you're tired, jumping isn't a good idea without supervision," Jasper explained.

"What did you do to Jake?"

"Nothing, he required very little persuasion to talk."

"Persuasion?" I hoped that persuasion wasn't a code word for torture.

"Of my own special variety, he wasn't injured," he elaborated.

I nodded, forgetting that he couldn't see me. Jasper must have used his ability as an empath to manipulate him. Jake wouldn't like that when he figured it out.

"I promise you that he's fine," Jasper said.

"Okay."

"Are you coming home?"

"I thought I might stay here and do some sightseeing," I said. "I've never been to Colonial Williamsburg." I felt a bit guilty that he'd arranged for a weekend off and I wasn't going to go up even for brunch.

"Then you should stay. I got you the pass hoping you'd get some sleep. You need a bit of R&R before you hit the more intensive part of training."

"It gets more intense?" I asked.

"It can," Jasper said.

I grunted in response. I thought it'd been pretty intense already.

"Ask if she's jumped since she got there," a very frustrated Edward yelled from what sounded like a distance.

"Can you hear him?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I haven't jumped intentionally or otherwise."

"Tell her not to!"

"I can still hear him," I chuckled.

"The man's had a bee in his bonnet since you left," Jasper grumbled.

"Do you need me to come up and work tomorrow?"

"Don't you worry about a thing, Bella. Everything is under control. Unless you have a burning need to know what happened with your ex, stay put."

"I'll see how I feel in the morning," I said.

"You do that, Miss Bella, and let me know what you're planning."

"Thank you, Jasper."

"You're welcome. G'night."

"Night, Jasper."

I hung up and downed the last of my beer. Then, I stripped down to my T-shirt and underwear and climbed into the bed, too tired for pajamas.

Unfortunately, I couldn't sleep.

How was I supposed to sleep? Jasper said that Jake hadn't been hurt, but what had Jake done? What happened after they interrogated him?

I rolled over and grabbed my phone. I called Liam, hoping that I could actually talk to him. I got his voicemail and left a message.

I switched the TV back on and sunk into the pillows.

**~V258~**

_11 September 2010 Williamsburg, Virginia _

Eventually, I must have fallen asleep, because suddenly the morning news was blaring at me from the TV. I fumbled for the remote and turned it off. The lack of sound was simultaneously a relief and oppressive. I had to make up my mind about whether or not I was going to drive up to Maryland and find out what Jake had done.

Was this how Jake always felt about me - continuously worried? I decided that I needed to know; otherwise it would drive me crazy until the end of October when I could leave The Farm again. I took a quick shower and threw the few things I'd taken out back into my bag.

I stopped by the desk, checked out, left Jasper a voicemail, and was heading out of Williamsburg before noon with a cup of coffee and a bagel from the continental breakfast bar. I drove as fast as I safely could. I figured that with it being Saturday that Jasper and Alice would be at Carlisle and Esme's house.

My phone chimed as I turned off the interstate. I waited until I made it to a red light before picking it up and checking the screen. It was a text from a private number.

_Hello, Gorgeous, check your rear view._

I shifted my gaze up to my mirror and found a Black SUV behind me. The driver nodded at me and then took off his sunglasses. It was Liam.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. I assumed that he was heading to Carlisle and Esme's house as well since they always seemed to have company. He tailed me through town all the way to the house. We parked and he was out of his car and at my window before I had my seatbelt undone.

"Bella!" Liam pulled me out of the car and hugged me. I barely had a chance to wrap my arms around him before I heard the door to the house open and heavy footfalls on the stairs. As soon as Liam released me I was snatched off the ground and spun around by Emmett.

"Ducks! Happy Early Birthday!"

Emmett set me back on the ground. I was rather unsteady after being spun, and Liam caught me around the waist from behind, resting his chin on my head for a moment.

"Thank you, Emmett."

"Bella!" Esme called from the door. "Shame on you for not telling us you were coming! Come on in! Liam, are you staying?"

"Sorry, I can't. I have business to tend to, and then a flight to catch."

I turned to look at him.

"You're not staying?"

"I can't, gorgeous. Someone has to keep the free world safe while you waste your days away in training."

I pouted at him.

"Oh, don't start that," he said, then leaned in to whisper in my ear, "there are better places for that lip than dragging the ground."

I blushed. He caressed my cheek and gave me a brief kiss, which ended when Emmett decided to clear his throat.

"I'm sorry I can't stay. I only came into town because I saw you on the highway. Now, have a good weekend."

I nodded and then stood on my tiptoes to kiss him, but got his cheek instead of his lips. I gave him a puzzled look, but he wasn't going to reveal any details. Instead, he released me and went to his car, giving me a small wave before he got in and left.

I didn't know what to make of it.

I turned to Emmett who shrugged and led me inside.

"Now that you're here we have a reason to party," he said.

I laughed and allowed him to steer me along.

* * *

**End Note:**

Thank you all for being patient. There have been a lot of changes going around on my end lately. I've been very fortunate to have some very good MD's and NP's and some very good friends who've helped me out.

This chapter and the following three should be out in relatively quick succession (otherwise those of you who know where I live might come after me).

I've been working on review replies this evening but I'm tuckered out, and I have a crying kid upstairs. :-/

Blanket reply statements:

I love everyone's stories about The Varsity!

Ren is a handful and a half!

I'm sorry I suck lately.


	39. Chapter 38 Hat in the Ring

**A/n:**

Thank you all for the lovely reviews and recs. Welcome new readers, although presumably you've made it through 37 chapters and the Prologue, so I don't think we can really call you new at this point unless you're just bravely jumping in with the current chapter (in which case, bless you, you might want to get a recap from someone first). Anyway, Hi and thanks for reading.

Also, thanks to loss4words, who's still beta'ing this craziness.

*Those of you with low angst tolerances might want to wait and read chapters 38-40 all at the same time. This is your warning. ;-) *

* * *

**Alice**

_The Cullen Mansion, Virginia 11 September 2010_

As predicted, Bella arrived at my parent's house just after we did. Jasper and I had just changed our plans and decided to spend the day getting some well-deserved R&R when I had a vision of Bella doing the same. Of course, she was more tense about it. The girl needed to relax more. I doubted that The Farm was helping with that at all.

I made Jasper stop for a birthday cake on the way there, regular frosting – none of the crazy whipped stuff. Bella harbored an intense hatred for whipped frosting. She liked buttercream or glaze, and that was it.

We watched from my bedroom window as Liam followed her into the driveway.

"Something's off," Jasper said.

I cocked my head to the side and looked at him. He didn't always share the emotions he read, but when he did it was because he wanted my input.

"They're not dating, Jazz."

"Yeah, but he's like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs, and she's confused."

"Edward?" I asked.

"What about him?" Jasper asked.

"Maybe my darling brother had a talk with Liam?"

Jasper snorted.

"You're right, Liam would never be nervous just because Edward tried to scare him off."

"Edward's territorial attitude amuses him more than anything else," Jasper said.

"Work?" I suggested.

"Has to be," he agreed.

"I hope Bella doesn't get her heart broken," I sighed.

"She won't, darlin'. Bella likes him well enough but not enough for it to crush her."

"That's good."

"Are we going to use these bathing suits or were they just a cover for one of your nefarious plans?"

I grinned at Jasper and he backed me gracefully into the wall before kissing me senseless. There were definite benefits to marrying an empath. He often used his ability against me, and I usually welcomed it. Unfortunately, we were interrupted.

"Alice!" Ren called from the other side of the door. She had the worst possible timing. She also didn't seem to think much about her actions so it was exceedingly rare for me to have a vision of her.

Jasper stepped away. It wasn't until he was halfway across the room that I noticed he had untied the top to my swimsuit without my knowledge. I chucked a pillow at him.

"Woman, when are you going to stop throwing things at my head?"

"When I finally hit you," I said, retying the straps at the nape of my neck.

He merely grinned and opened the door to admit my cousin.

"Not gonna happen, darlin."

He ducked out just in time for Ren to catch the second pillow like a pro. She quirked an eyebrow at me and folded the pillow into her lap before taking a seat on my bed.

"He's not online," she pouted.

"He's probably working, the man as a demanding job. He can't spend all of his time playing with you."

"Geez, Ali, you make me sound like a third grader," she whined.

"Ren, you make you sound like a third grader."

She flopped into a laying position and covered her face with the pillow. She made a muffled sound that could have been speech but I wasn't entirely sure.

"Come again?" I asked.

"I think I might be in love with him," she confessed somewhat more clearly through the pillow.

"Oh, Ren…" I was going to have to try and watch her future a little more closely. It was always just so hazy.

She threw the pillow off of her face and into its position at the top of the bed.

"I really do."

"Ren…" I was at a loss as to what to say. It's not that I thought Jacob Black was bad or that he'd play her, but given the fact that her job was to keep tabs on him, falling in love with him potentially complicated matters.

"I know. I know," she sighed.

Then, Bella's voice filtered through the door. "Jasper, just tell me what happened. I drove five hours and I want to know if he's okay."

Ren's eyes went wide.

"Bella's on leave this weekend."

"OMG! WTF!"

"Stop speaking text, Ren."

"How? What? Oh crap."

She was frozen stiff.

"Ren, it's just Bella," I chided her.

"I'm cyber dating her ex!" she yelled.

I cringed, and gestured for her to lower her voice.

"Does she know?" Ren whispered.

"No, she doesn't even know about the interrogation."

"I do not want to be here."

"Nonsense," I scoffed at her, and grabbed her hand pulling her up off the bed. "Bella is perfectly reasonable and will want the what's best for him."

Ren's lip quirked to the side in a frown.

"What?"

"What if she doesn't think I'm what's best?"

"Well, then she'll probably keep it to herself for a while, and it's likely that she'll watch you like a hawk when she gets back from the Farm." It wasn't like Bella was one to start a catfight over a guy. She'd already moved on, and I was fairly certain that her attitude toward her former fiancé had never been a proprietary one.

"And then she'll rip my throat out?"

"Highly unlikely," I said and patted my cousin on the back.

She took a deep breath and let it out.

"Now, you wanted to talk about him?"

"I was going to ask your advice about cyber sex, but now I think I want to take this a little more slowly."

"That's probably a good thing."

Ren suddenly looked at me and blinked a few times.

"Were you going swimming?"

"Jasper and I were going to take a dip, but it sounds like he's talking to Bella."

"I'll go with you!"

Ren would have done anything to avoid Bella for just a little while longer.

**~V258~**

Dinner was a relatively somber affair. Dad insisted on saying grace, and we had a moment of silence for those who died nine years before. I had been so focused on Ren and Bella that I had almost forgotten.

We brought out the cake after dinner. Bella had been easily placated with regard to Jacob's condition. Jasper let her watch both the interrogation tape and the recording of him waiting for interrogation. As far as Ren was concerned she was just told that Ren was in place to act as a safeguard for Jacob. The uncomfortable thing for Ren was that Bella was grateful. She'd hugged the girl and thanked her profusely. It wasn't until the cake was cut that I noticed the way Bella eyed Ren.

She knew.

Somehow Bella had figured out the true nature of Jacob and Ren's budding romance, and she was sizing up the younger woman. From the look on Ren's face I could tell that she knew that Bella had it figured out. The girl looked guilty.

"I'm thinking about having cyber-sex with your ex!" Ren blurted as she pushed her untouched piece of cake into the center of the table where Emmett grabbed it. I shot him a dirty look.

"It's too good to waste," he whispered. "I'll detox this week."

"Cyber-sex?" Bella asked.

Esme, Carlisle, and Edward quickly found someplace else to be.

"I didn't mean to say that," Ren groaned.

"But you did." Bella fought a grin.

"I might be in love with him," Ren confessed then looked at me, shocked. "Why can't I stop talking?"

"You're in love with him?" Bella was suddenly serious.

"Yeah, I'm in love with him," Ren confessed.

"Well, that makes torturing you somewhat less fun," Bella said, leaning back in her chair and folding her arms over her chest.

"You were going to torture me?"

I looked up at Jasper who had been fighting a grin the entire time. I glanced back at Ren, who obviously misunderstood Bella.

"I was going to make you uncomfortable. You've been avoiding me for four hours, you're working closely with my ex and trying to hide something. Either you were planning to hurt him somehow, or you like him. I guess the whole cyber-sex thing answers that."

"You're good," Jasper said. I was fairly certain that Bella's assessment shocked him. "I knew that you'd somehow figured it out, but I didn't know how."

"Reporter." Bella pointed at herself. "I'm also a cop's kid. The BS spotting gene is strong."

"It's like a super power," Emmett muttered through a mouthful of cake. I reached over and smacked him on the back of the head. "Ow!"

"Rose would have wanted me to smack you."

"Are you mad?" Ren asked, suddenly sounding like a small child.

"I'm concerned," Bella said, leaning forward. "I've known Jake forever, and while I've only known you for a few months I do care about you. I just don't know if a relationship is a good idea. You don't want to be his rebound." She frowned and reached across the table to pat Ren's hand.

"They're both adults," I said quietly. Bella glared at me. As Ren's handler I was in a difficult position, because to some extent I supported the relationship. I needed it to continue, and while I was fairly certain that they weren't headed for 'happily ever after' I was also pretty sure that they weren't going to destroy each other. Bella obviously didn't agree with me. I was on thin ice with her and I knew it.

Jasper gave me a warning glance.

"Yes, they are," Bella said, less than pleased.

"I don't really need your blessing," Ren practically whispered. "I don't even think this violates girl code since we're more co-workers than friends."

Bella's expression softened. "I suppose we'll have to be friends now."

Ren looked puzzled.

"Jake is my best friend and has been since we were kids. If you're dating him then I'm going to have to be friends with you."

"I'd like that."

Bella smiled at Ren and walked around the table to hug her. When they separated Bella yawned.

"I'm sorry, I need a bed," she said.

"Just go sleep in Edward's room," Jasper said. I glanced at him, trying to figure out what his game was. Edward had planned on staying the night. He shot me the look, the one that tells me not to meddle. I saw Edward sleeping on the couch in Dad's study and nodded.

It was probably better that she took the bed. She was going to enter one of the most stressful training modules at the Farm and she needed rest.

**~V258~**

Midnight found Edward standing in the doorway of his bedroom staring at a sleeping Bella. I quietly tapped the wall to alert him to my presence. He at least looked a bit ashamed of himself for watching her.

"It's September 12th," he said.

I nodded.

"The anniversary came and went this year, we had a moment of silence, and I continued to be a coward."

Edward had a tendency to get a bit melodramatic when he drank. I merely sighed at him.

"No, really, it's a day that we remember exactly how fragile life is and what's at stake if we don't do our jobs well. We're responsible for the safety and security of so many people and they never know the kinds of threats they face just going to work every day. Life is too short to be afraid."

"Is this about terrorism or Bella?" I asked.

"I thought I'd get to spend some time with her," he confessed.

"The time's not right," I said.

He sighed heavily and flexed his fingers repeatedly.

"You have no idea how hard it is to watch her with Liam. I want to tell her how I feel."

"You should wait," I said.

"I'm tired of waiting."

"Are you going to crawl in with her?"

"Why would I do that?" he asked.

"She is in your bed," I pointed out, knowing that he'd never do it. He just needed to see that the choice was wrong.

"I want to hold her, and listen to her talk in her sleep."

"Then by all means," I said gesturing toward the bed.

"Will it do me any good?"

"I can't answer all of your questions, you know that. You have to decide to do it before I can see the outcome, and you won't." I wrapped an arm around him, as close to his shoulder as I could reach.

"I wish the weekend was longer."

"I know," I said and led him away to the study. Esme had already laid out some blankets and a pillow.

"My bed's going to smell like her again," he mumbled sleepily.

I smirked at him. My brother was head over heels for Bella.

**~V258~**

_Bella_

_The Cullen Mansion, Virginia 12 September 2010_

I left the Cullen's before brunch was over. Edward helped me carry my one tiny bag out to the car. We stood next to it for a while in one of the most awkward silences known to man. He kept shifting his weight. I felt like we were middle schoolers at a dance.

"Well, I guess I'll see you in a little over a month," I said.

"Bella…" he stopped short.

I cocked my head to the side, trying to get a read on him. Edward was never so unsure of himself. He knew exactly what he wanted and how to get it. I wondered where this sudden nervous streak had come from. He'd tried to get me alone a few times the day before but I was too focused on sussing out what was going on between Ren and Jake to pay much attention.

Once again, I wasn't paying attention. Out of nowhere his hands were on either side of my face. I had a split second of wide eyed realization before his lips touched mine. It took me a beat longer than conventionally appropriate to react. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him.

I felt the familiar rush that he always seemed to produce. Kissing Edward was better than sex with anyone else. I couldn't explain why but it just was, perhaps it was the closeness that I felt to him, or maybe he was just that good at it, but my whole body took notice.

A tingling spike of pure pleasure extended from my lips down. I pulled back slightly to sigh. He turned me so that I was trapped between him and the car. The action triggered a forgotten memory that I was only too keen to reenact. I kissed him back open mouthed, inviting him to relive it with me.

He didn't disappoint. Instead, he went for it. He pushed me harder and deepened the kiss. I recognized a needy noise as coming from me and pulled my leg up around his, trying to get some pressure in just the right place.

We slowed down. Part of me knew that it was ridiculous for two grown people to make out in a driveway with a potential audience of relatives and coworkers, but I really couldn't help it. My body reacted automatically to him.

He rested his forehead on mine.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?" I asked, dazed.

"There aren't words. I just wanted you to know that you have options."

"Options?"

I let my leg drop from around his but we stayed standing up against the car with our heads together.

"If you're interested, when you come back… I don't know how to say this properly."

"Just say it," I said.

"I'm here if you want me."

I sighed and nudged him forward a bit. Being with Edward was a huge risk for me. He'd nearly crushed me before, and there he was again. He was like chocolate, terribly tempting and most certainly bad for me in high doses.

"This is… Edward… I just… "

"Think about it," he whispered.

"I will," I promised.

He leaned over and opened the driver's side door for me. I slid in and buckled up.

"Just think about it," he said once more and closed the door.

**~V258~**

I couldn't help but smile as I drove down the highway. Kissing Edward did that to me. The gas light blinked on shortly after I got on I-95. I stopped in Fredericksburg. I was still thinking about the kiss when I suddenly had a sense of foreboding.

Someone was standing near me. I turned my head just in time to see something coming towards me. Everything went dark, it was hard to breath. I knocked the handle to the gas pump out of the car. Hands gripped my wrists and I struggled.

I caught my assailant with my shoulder. I wasn't sure what I hit but he grunted. I struck again quickly and tried to run. I was pulling the bag off my head as I went. As soon as I got it off I bumped into something large and solid. I caught sight of a ski mask for a second before feeling a needle in my arm.

The bag was back on and I was lashing out, disoriented. There were at least three men.

"Damnit," one of them growled as they threw me into a vehicle.

I hit the floor and passed out.

* * *

**End Note:**

Deep breath, don't panic, the next chapter has been written and beta'd. I'll have it up in a couple of days unless something happens.

Thank you again to everyone who's been reviewing and rec'ing. I'm sorry that I've been fail at review replies lately.


	40. Chapter 39 Hell

**A/n: **Thank you to loss4words, who continues to work her beta magic on this.

Here's the next installment. I'm not sure if it makes that cliffhanger better or worse.

* * *

*_**Warning Warning Warning***_

_The following contains some methods of "enhanced interrogation." There's and allusion in inappropriate activity in an attempt to humiliate someone. If you cannot handle this please skip this chapter the whole thing's pretty rough on that end._

* * *

**Bella **

_Parts Unknown 13 September 2010_

It was very bright and very loud when I woke up. I was disoriented and my head felt like it'd been broken open with a sledgehammer. Meanwhile, a loud, shrill sound was emanating from speakers above me. My hands were heavy as I lifted them to cover my ears. It felt like I was moving through Jello. I pressed my palms flush against my ears and managed to slightly muffle the noise.

Three quick chirps sounded and the sound stopped. I sighed and released my ears. I looked up just in time to see the door , which was three strides across the small room from me, open and admit a rather large man.

I opened my mouth to ask a question, but he roughly pulled me to a sitting position. The words which had formed in my brain left my mouth as only a squeak. In my weak state he handcuffed my hands behind my back, threw me back down onto the mattress covered cot and left.

The noise started three seconds after the door closed. I tried to block it out unsuccessfully for what felt like hours, then just as I got accustomed to it the three chirps sounded again and it cut off for several long minutes before coming back on.

I stood up and paced in my cell out of frustration, but also because I needed to shake off the sluggish feeling. I didn't know where I was but I knew that I was going to need my wits about me before having an encounter with my captors. Pacing wasn't exactly satisfying, the best I could manage in any one direction was 3-4 steps depending on how badly I shuffled. I tried walking in a circle but that only made me dizzy.

Instead of continuing this fruitless activity I sat on the cot and stomped my feet. I hadn't been paying attention to what was going on but I noticed when I stomped that I didn't have my shoes. My clothing had been completely changed to a blue jumpsuit. I had no socks and no shoes.

The noise really was making thought process difficult, and with my hands restrained I couldn't protect myself from it. Eventually, I started to hum and match pitch with it. It sounded like an A, so I tried to remember intervals from the one music theory class Rene dragged me to as a preteen. I resorted to just modulating my pitch until I found something that worked.

**~V258~**

When the noise stopped I barely noticed. I was still faintly humming when the door opened again. My bladder was aching and I hoped that he was taking me to a toilet, but I was too stunned to ask. The same man jerked me off the bed and pulled me down a sterile corridor to another small room – not a bathroom. He shoved me into a wooden chair in a way that forced me to lean back on my tender, cuffed wrists.

A second man entered the room. He was average in height and relatively attractive. He tisked at the first man and made a b-line for me.

"How long has she been handcuffed?"

"Hell if I know," the larger man answered.

"Remove them."

He stepped back and watched as the other man uncuffed my wrists. I felt muscles that I had forgotten suddenly become free and ache. I let out a soft, strangled sort of sob as I tried to move my arms.

"These are unacceptable conditions," the attractive one muttered. He then turned to me. "Water?"

I nodded my head, even though I was fairly certain that drinking a cup of water would cause my already taxed bladder to burst.

"Get Miss Swan some water," he said in a condescending tone. "I can't very well interview her if she can't speak."

It occurred to me on some level that he was good cop in this scenario.

The water arrived in moments and I was fairly certain that he had planned this. The big guy was used to playing the brute to his savior. My bladder protested, but I still drank the water, because I wasn't sure how long it had been since I'd had any food or drink and I didn't know when they would next be inclined to let me have anything.

"Miss Bella Swan, daughter of Charlie Swan and Renee Dwyer," he stated, and then glanced at me like it had been a question.

"Yes," I answered.

"CIA officer?"

"What?" I asked, cocking my head to the side and pretending not to have understood him. He apparently had the wrong information. I seriously hoped that this was some sick part of training and that I'd been brought back to the Farm.

"Miss Swan, you work for the Central Intelligence Agency, do you not?"

"No, I don't," I answered truthfully. If this wasn't an exercise, I was in deep trouble. I didn't know how long it would take him to unearth some accurate information and it occurred to me that I didn't have a NOC. There was no job that I could hide behind, and I was going to have to come up with something.

"Then, where do you work, Miss Swan?"

I didn't have a good answer, but I managed to get a handle on the panic that was chilling my bones.

"I'm on leave," I said.

"On leave?"

"Yes, I'm a reporter by profession, but I was injured. I've been recuperating."

"Is it correct that until four months ago you lived in Atlanta."

"Yeah," I said, intentionally looking nervously around the room. "Did I step on someone's toes or something?"

"No, Miss Swan, I'm sure everything is in order. Perhaps we were mistaken, but if you aren't currently employed, who owns the condo you live in?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your place of residence? You live in Maryland, yes? In a nice neighborhood? I doubt that a small time journalist could afford such a place while on leave."

"I'm borrowing it from a friend of a friend while I undergo treatment for a head injury."

"Where?"

"What do you mean where?" I asked, suddenly feeling like this story that felt so concrete every time I used it on my family was falling to pieces under scrutiny. I was screwed.

"Let us begin again, Miss Swan, with the understanding that you will no longer lie to me. Where do you live?" He leaned forward in a gesture that was supposed to sit somewhere between comforting and threatening.

"Bethesda, Maryland."

"Your profession?"

"I'm a journalist." I was going to try my hardest to keep up with him in what was about to become a very complicated dance. I needed to keep my reactions believable, but I feared that I'd already made a mistake. I hadn't asked why I was there or who he was. I hadn't demanded identification or questioned his authority, and I hadn't complained nearly enough.

He pursed his lips and examined the file in his hands.

"You were a journalist until April," he corrected.

"It's like riding a bike," I said, dodging the implied question.

"You've had no income for four months?"

"AFLAC," I replied smoothly. Since I was fairly certain that I'd already been made if the interrogation was real, I decided that I needed to get a handle on myself and come off as cool and collected, a CIA smartass.

"You have had a serious injury, then?"

"You could say that." We were leading back into the MD question, and I needed to come up with an MD in Maryland to give him, and I only knew of one, a gynecologist.

"Which doctor is treating you for this condition?"

_Bingo_

"Alfred Gerrandy"

He seemed shocked for a millisecond but wrote down the name. I might have bought myself a little time until the next interrogation.

"Who owns the apartment you are currently living in?"

"I don't actually know. It belongs to a friend of a friend."

"Who is this friend?"

_Don't say Harrison Ford._

"Harrison Ford."

And I was dead in the water again.

"I can't help you if you lie to me," he said, suddenly frustrated. "Don't you realize how serious this situation is?"

"With all due respect, I don't know anything right now."

"Fine, play it your way," he said and nodded to the larger man who manhandled me back into cuffs, this time in front of me, and dragged me back out into the hallway.

Godzilla decided to throw me into a room different from where I started. This one had a drain in the floor. He removed the handcuffs and gave me another rough shove that nearly toppled me to the ground.

"Strip," Godzilla said.

I felt the cold of fear grip my heart. I stared at him wide eyed for several long moments.

"Take off your clothes," he said.

I couldn't even think the word, but I thought around it, and I really really didn't want to be hurt that way.

"P-please…" I stuttered.

"You smell, take off your clothes and shower," he seethed. I could practically feel the anger coming off of him at me and I wondered if that was what it was like for Jasper all the time.

I started to unbutton the jumpsuit, then looked at him uncomfortably and turned around to finish. I didn't take it off.

"Can you turn around?" I asked, quietly blushing. It wasn't like that many people had seen me naked and this was completely out of context.

"Who do you think dressed you, sunshine? If I'd wanted something I would have had it."

I nearly vomited.

"It's not standard procedure, but you're a lightweight. The drugs lasted for hours longer than they should have and we had better things to do."

I stared at my belly button. He'd already seen me naked. I felt violated and a tear slid down my face. It hadn't occurred to me before that someone had changed me.

"Not so tough now, are you?"

He gave me the grain of sand that I needed in order to straighten my back and pull myself together. His comment, which was designed to break me, snapped me out of it. I dropped the jumpsuit and noticed that I still had on underwear, and they were mine. They were also black cotton. I left them on and walked over to the shower. No one was taking my panties away I didn't care if I had to walk around with a wet crotch for days, I was wearing them.

I turned on the water and got a shock. It was freezing cold. Water was never that cold straight from the tap, it was like it came from deep underground or it had been refrigerated. In one of the most humiliating experiences of my life, my bladder released. I rinsed off and used the soap dispenser on the wall to get clean. It smelled medicinal, like Dial or old dandruff shampoo. Once I was clean and thoroughly frozen I turned off the water and stepped away from the wall, covering my breasts with an arm.

Godzilla was smirking at me. The jumpsuit was gone. It was freaking gone.

I glared at him and he smirked.

He didn't recuff me, but he kept a death grip on the top of my arm as he guided me back to my original cell. My teeth were still chattering from the cold shower when he locked me in. The room was colder than before, and there was a bucket in the corner that hadn't been there before, presumably to be used as a toilet.

**~V258~**

I hadn't imagined the temperature drop in the room. It wasn't freezing, but it was certainly colder than before. It was cold enough to be uncomfortable in damp underwear but not cold enough to kill. I lay on the thin mattress face down to protect my breasts from freezing off.

The intense bright lights were eventually turned off and I was plunged into cold darkness. There was an intermittent scratching noise that sounded like some sort of rodent, it kept me from fully drifting off to sleep. After too short of a time the lights came back on in their full brightness, I was a bit relieved because the bulbs in order to be that bright produced at least a little heat.

Then the noise came back. The shrill squeal scared me and then I realized that I needed to use my bucket. Not wanting to be cuffed again, I kept my hands away from my ears. Knowing that someone was probably watching made me self-conscious. I carefully slid off the bed and used one arm to cover myself. I carefully used the bucket exposing as little of myself as possible, which was difficult with panties that weren't fully dry.

I noticed a paper plate and a cup in the floor and picked them up - white bread and a cup of water. I ate the bread and drank the water just in time for the lights and the sound to cut back off. I tried to sleep again and actually managed what felt like a short nap before the sound woke me up again.

**~V258~**

Time wore on and blended together until I was sure that no one remembered me. I didn't know how long it had been but when Godzilla came to retrieve me he brought a damp jumpsuit. It smelled faintly of chlorine. I slid it on with my back to him while he taunted me.

The same interrogator was waiting for me in the same room.

"Who is your contact with the CIA, Miss Swan?"

"I don't have one," I answered, noticing that we were skipping the pleasantries.

"Why do you continue this charade? Are you not cold and hungry? Don't you want to go home?"

"This isn't a charade. I don't have a CIA contact. I'm a reporter."

"So you've said," he growled.

"Because it's true," I snapped.

"She needs more time to think," he said, and we repeated the events following my previous interrogation minus the smirking and taunting from Godzilla.

**~V258~**

Cold is something that settles into your bones after a while. Anyone who's ever forgotten to pay their electric bill during winter knows that. The smallest actions become too taxing as your body expends more energy to keep you alive. It saps your strength.

However, heat can be bad too.

After five cycles of cold came the heat, and the flashing lights. Sleep became impossible and my body swam in sweat. I didn't know how long it had been but my interrogator had ceased talking to me. He wanted a contact. I couldn't give him anyone from SpecInt. That would carry consequences that I couldn't live with. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to them, because they were like a second family.

I thought about turning in one of the instructors from the Farm or Tyler. I dismissed that idea just in case this was just some sort of sick exercise.

That left one person.

When Godzilla half carried me back down the hall I sat in the chair, looked at the floor and sold out one of the two people I felt like I could trust to come up with an escape plan if we were both captured in the same facility. The one I could live with compromising if the whole thing was real.

"Liam Brennan," I whispered.

* * *

**End Note:**

There ya go. The next chapter is written and beta'd. I should have it ready to go soon enough. Sorry I left y'all a bit longer than intended with the cliffie, it's nuts around here. Honestly, a lot of you have already put this together a bit too well for it to be much of a cliffhanger. I must be getting predictable.

Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Mwah!

Oh.. wait... it seems that two of you have read this entire story today. O.O Wow. Super thanks!


	41. Chapter 40 Location Location Location

**A/n:**

Thanks to loss4words for beta'ing. Here we go:

* * *

**Jasper**

_SpecInt Headquarters, MA 16 September 2010_

Edward was about to lose it. Bella had spent four days in interrogation and she hadn't cracked. Carmen had arranged for a live feed for us because Carlisle was insistent on monitoring her condition.

We were all pretty angry about the situation. Mock interrogations were always part of training at the Farm, but they were done in the context of the Vaingloria role play situation. None of us were upset that Bella had been chosen – none of us except for Edward - but the fact that the powers that be over at Camp Peary had made the role play about her real life was out of line. Everyone but Edward had been previously chosen for either the interrogation demo or had been given extensive time on the lie detector. None of us were shocked by the fact that she'd been singled out, but this was ridiculous. Carlisle and Alistair were debating as to whether or not we needed to cut ties with The Company and use a private organization for paramilitary training.

She hadn't been harmed as they were using a limited range of enhanced interrogation techniques. We were promised that she wouldn't be starved, put in stress positions, or waterboarded. It gave most of us a shred of peace of mind. Edward didn't see it the same way as the rest of us. It was hard to watch her exhausted and stressed to her limit, but she hadn't jumped involuntarily yet, nor had she cracked.

I wondered why she hadn't jumped. She had a chance of catching Edward if she could stay in her sanctuary long enough. Perhaps she'd listened to us when we warned her not to before.

Alice, Edward and I were monitoring the feed on the day four mark when Bella dropped her head and finally gave a name. We were all shocked to hear who she gave up. We knew that it would eventually happen because the role play would last until she cracked and everyone always cracked.

"Liam?!" Alice practically screamed at the screen.

"Did she just give them Brennan?" Edward whispered.

"Most people give up an instructor," Carlisle said from behind us.

"I was expecting it to be one of us," Edward said. I tried to get a read on him but any other emotion he was experiencing had been overshadowed by relief.

"No, she gave them Liam," Alice said, still shocked.

Ever the analyst, Carlisle wondered aloud what her thought process might have been.

"I was expecting me," I said.

"I thought she was going to give up Edward for a few moments there. She vacillated a lot, like she was running different scenarios in her head."

"No offense, Alice, but I love that girl."

Alice snorted at me. She'd taken the jab playfully.

Bella was immediately wrapped in a blanket and a medic rushed into the room to check on her.

"I'm going down there," Edward announced.

I continued watching to make sure that she was properly cared for, knowing that I would have no influence over Edward's behavior. It was better to let his father and sister handle him. I noticed a familiar form walking into the room. He was a short, slim man, and I stared at him trying to figure out who the devil he was.

"They won't let you on base," Carlisle said, laying a hand on the shoulder of his excitable son. "Sit down. She's going to be fine."

"She's just tired, Edward," Alice spoke up. "A couple of days' worth of sleep and she'll be fine."

"We've got a problem," I said looking at the screen. I'd figured out who that man was. His name was O'Brian, and he was a recruiter for the CIA proper. I didn't know what he was doing at the Farm, but I knew exactly why he was talking to Bella. He was trying to form a bond and get her to join the CIA.

"O'Brian," Carlisle sighed.

"It looks like he's got his sites on our Bella," I said.

O'Brian was personable enough socially, but once competition or work entered into the equation he became a snake in the grass. He was sneaky and ruthless.

"Don't worry, Jazz," Alice said calmly. "She has no interest in the CIA, especially after this. She's already made that decision."

"I'm going to wait a few hours and then call and gloat," I said.

"Very mature," Edward muttered. His initial relief had been eroded by anger; he was still livid about the interrogation. The fact that they'd kept her practically naked bothered him. I wasn't sure if it was because of the extreme modesty Bella exhibited or his own territorial tendencies when it came to her.

"You do realize that Bella matched the record length of one of these interrogations," Carlisle commented. "That's why O'Brian is after her. She'd be excellent for deep cover work."

"Don't even think about it," Edward growled.

"I didn't say that I would reassign her for deep cover, she's far too useful to us as a viewer. I'm just saying that if she wasn't gifted she'd still be a good spy. Bella could handle the pressure if given the opportunity."

Edward pushed past his father and stormed out the door. He was more on edge than I'd ever seen him. It was like his concern for Bella had redoubled since the kiss on Sunday. That had shocked me. I didn't know he was going to do it until I literally felt the bubble of frustration that the two of them had been carrying around burst. It was like they lit the grass outside on fire.

I could understand it, his emotions were running high. Less than an hour after the kiss we were informed that she'd been taken in for the interrogation demo. Everyone was nervous. Irina and Carmen both volunteered to help monitor the situation. Carmen had tried to convince the instructors that they needed to inform Bella that the scenario was fake, but after an hour of arguing until she was red in the face Carmen gave in. Instead she asked that SpecInt be given access to the security feed. Carlisle threw his weight behind the request and pointed out exactly how much intell we had provided to the CIA in the previous year. It was better than nothing. I wished that I could be there to assess her mental state because the only room they gave us audio for was the interrogation room.

Edward had jumped at least once to try and assess her state via her thoughts, but he discovered that although he could just touch most people in the ether and get a bead on what they were thinking , he couldn't do it with Bella.

He was also hesitant to jump into the bathroom. Rosalie did that, and I'm fairly certain that one of the members of the interrogation team was going to find himself as reproductively effective as a mule. She was livid over something that had happened on Tuesday morning. The woman literally jumped out of the RV chair and then proceeded to walk around the office with her back up like a cat.

Essentially, our team had put everything on hold since Sunday. No work had been accomplished and we slept and ate in shifts. It was nice to have that kind of emotional angst lifted, and to know that the hardest part of Bella's training was over. It didn't seem to matter what the problem was, Bella always seemed to rise to the occasion.

I could still feel Edward brooding like a storm cloud as he walked around the office. However, I knew when he found Emmett and Rosalie because some tension that was circulating the bottom floor of the building released. It was like cracking one's back in the morning, the relaxation spread from one part of the building to the next rapidly.

I sighed and leaned back in my chair. Alice reached over and scratched my head, opening up so that I could feel her love and relief. It became apparent to me that we needed another vacation. I missed being like this with her. Carlisle quietly slipped out of the room to give us privacy.

"I miss this," she whispered.

"I had the same thought, darlin'. I think we need to get away again."

"Maybe in a few months," she said. "After Bella gets settled back in, then Edward can run things for a while." She leaned in closer to me and dropped her voice. "We could go to Isle Esme."

"That would be perfect," I sighed. Alice always knew what was best for me, and the kind of space I sometimes needed away from the others. My own mother had never grasped my need to be away from the stress of interacting with other people and feeling all of the things they felt. I kissed Alice's forehead.

My hesitance had very little to do with the fact that we were in Carlisle's office, but more to do with the heat seeking missile of excitement bubbling her way up the stairs. I knew it was Ren because she felt excitement the way only a young woman can. She had yet to become jaded by the world. Alice had most likely hadn't seen her, the girl made decisions like a twister over flat ground.

She rapped quickly on the door.

"Bella's okay?" she squealed as she opened the door.

"Yes, sugar girl, she's alright."

Ren's happiness wasn't entirely accounted for with Bella's safety. There was a nervous undercurrent that I hadn't picked up while she was running up the stairs two at a time.

"Good!" Ren also happened to be socially awkward so she sometimes didn't know how to carry on a conversation.

"There's something else?" I asked.

"Jake has been offered a job in DC!"

I couldn't decide whether this development was good or bad.

**~V258~**

**Bella**

_Camp Peary, VA 16 September 2010_

I wasn't positive that the entire situation was an exercise until they brought O'Brian into the room. I was shaking from exhaustion and possibly shock, tears were streaming down my face, and I had no idea what day it was.

As soon as the medic agreed that I was stable they half lifted me into a wheelchair and carted me off to the hospital on base for observation. A very stern nurse had already replaced my oxygen mask more than twice when Tyler shuffled into the room. She was fiddling with an IV and adding some pain killers to the fluids. I was dehydrated, sleep deprived and the doctor suspected that I was in shock.

"I'm out," he announced.

"What?" I asked, pulling off the mask again.

"Miss Swan," the nurse scolded and pointed at the mask. I let it drop back into position on my face.

"I cannot do that again," he said, looking slightly sheepish.

I cocked my head to the side since I'd already discovered that it was hard to talk with the mask over my mouth.

"They pulled me in for the prison camp scenario after you left. I heard that they caught you on your way back into _Vaingloria_."

I shook my head and decided to mutter through the mask, "I was all the way in Fredericksburg."

"What?"

"I didn't know it wasn't real."

Tyler sat down in the chair next to my hospital bed. The nurse looked at him and pursed her lips.

"Make sure she keeps the mask on if you're staying," she snapped and left the room.

"You totally kicked my ass," he said.

"How?"

"I gave you up by Saturday morning," he admitted.

I stared at him.

"It was the noise," he explained. "I couldn't handle it, so I gave you up. They told me I lasted six hours, which is just pathetic. I've had a few days to mull it over and I think I'm going back to the police force. The spy thing just isn't me."

I inadvertently nodded. He smirked back at me.

"Was it that obvious?"

"Don't ever go under cover," I said.

"Why not?"

"Tyler, you couldn't spot a tail if they were driving a police car with the lights on. I think you were going to end up behind a desk at Langley if they decided to extend you an offer at all."

He nodded.

"When do you leave?" I asked.

"Tomorrow," he said. "You're going to have to complete the module on your own."

I noticed that my heart monitor beeped a little more rapidly. I was going to have to complete the module by myself when everyone else had a partner. Tyler had been relatively hopeless but he was better than nothing.

"You'll do fine, Bella."

I didn't believe him.

"By myself?"

"I was just a liability, Bell. You were the only thing keeping me from completely messing this up. Without me holding you down you'll finish out on top." He squeezed my hand.

The nurse came back into the room.

"You need rest," she said.

Tyler squeezed my hand. "I suppose this is goodbye."

I nodded. He kissed my forehead like a big brother would.

"Kick all of their asses for me."

With that he left. The nurse added a sedative to my IV and helped me adjust the bed. I was asleep before she left the room.

**~V258~**

When I woke up it was dark outside and O'Brian was asleep in the chair next to my bed. I smacked his arm to wake him. He came to with a start, looked around him, and then focused on me.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I said, realizing that the mask had been replaced by a nasal cannula. "My nose is cold."

"I called your father."

"Thank you, but don't you need to go home?"

"I promised your Dad I'd make sure you were alright."

"I'm okay," I said and then thought about it. My stomach felt like it was going to gnaw a hole through my abdomen. "Hungry, I'm hungry."

"I just so happen to have a sandwich." He grinned and pulled a bag out from under his chair. Hooking the table with his foot, he rolled it over to the bed, and placed the bag on it.

I carefully removed the Styrofoam box and opened it to reveal a sandwich on wheat bread with chips and a cookie. A cup of water appeared next to my hand. O'Brian had crossed the room to get the pitcher and cups and filled one for me. I thanked him and ate quietly.

"You know that you're wasted on SpecInt?" he said, breaking the silence.

"I don't see it that way."

"You should be doing covert ops, not whatever voodoo crap they've got you doing."

I laughed. "It's not voodoo."

"It's also not legitimate intelligence work."

I set down my sandwich and looked at him. He quirked his head to the side and we studied each other for a moment.

"Then why do we have a contract with the CIA?"

"Hell if I know, but with your natural talent and the skills we could teach you, you could really make a difference." He rubbed his hands together.

"I like SpecInt," I said, sighing and leaning back onto my bed, food forgotten. "We're like a family."

"Only, you're not really family, are you, Bella?"

"I'm close enough."

"So, you're marrying a Cullen?" he asked.

"No," I said. Edward had kissed me, but with how many times that had happened and gone nowhere in recent history I wasn't naïve enough to think it meant anything. "But Carlisle treats me like family."

"How long do you think that will last?"

"I'm not leaving."

"Bella," he said, making eye contact. "The CIA is a family too. We're a bigger family with more and better toys. I think you're wasting an opportunity here."

"Thanks for dinner, and for calling my dad, but I'm not going to change my mind."

He sighed.

"I'm not just some kid with a gift they picked up," I said. "I know what I want to do, and how I want to do it."

"Alright, girly," O'Brian said with a quirk to his lips. "I had to try."

"Can I call my father?" I asked. If he'd told Charlie anything that happened, he would be worried.

"Yeah, he doesn't know everything, just that you're being treated for exhaustion."

I nodded.

O'Brian gave me the handset to the phone and dialed my father for me.

"'Lo," Charlie answered.

"Hi, dad."

"Hey, kid, how are you?"

"I'm fine."

O'Brian waved goodbye and stepped out of the room.

"I got a call from Chuck O'Brian. He said you went to the infirmary for exhaustion."

"His name's Chuck?" I asked, completely distracted. I thought he might have introduced himself with another name, but wrote it off.

"Honestly, it's the only reason I talk to him. We're both Charles. How are you?"

"Much better, I'm getting some rest at the hospital."

"You didn't fail because you had to go in, did you?"

"I don't think so," I answered. "No one's said anything, but my scores have been pretty high."

"Good, you show 'em how a Swan does it," Charlie said proudly.

"I will, dad," I laughed.

"It's good that you're laughing."

We sat in silence for a few moments.

"Bells, I've got to go," he said. "Billy and I are fishing tomorrow."

"That's fine," I said. "It was good to hear your voice."

"Yours too, kid."

We hung up without saying goodbye.

I played with my sandwich for a bit before deciding that I should sleep while I still could. I still felt tired, and I knew I needed to take advantage of any opportunity to rest that I could. The ether felt too near somehow, like the back of my head was buzzing. I could feel it calling to me, but fortunately I drifted off before I jumped.

* * *

**End Note:**

Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I really do enjoy your reviews.

I would wax poetically, but instead I'm going to get this posted. My apologies to those to whom I promised this chapter sooner.


	42. Chapter 41 Out

**A/n: **Thanks to loss4words for beta'ing this!

Okay, so this might be a little short, especially after such a long time between updates. My excuse runs along the lines of: life blah blah blah broke blah blah blah working blah blah blah death blah blah super awesome road trip blah life sucks blah blah blah homicidal blah blah blah responsibility sucks blah blah blah working! Blah blah blah…

* * *

**Bella**

_17 September 2010 Camp Peary _

I woke up to a nurse removing the nasal cannula from my face. She smiled and patted my arm while apologizing profusely. I heard a throat clearing and looked toward the doorway. O'Brian was standing with a man in a black suit and an MD in scrubs and a lab coat whose back was to me.

"I'm going to unhook your IV," the nurse announced. I nodded and turned my head fully away from her so as not to see her removing the needle from my arm. I always seemed to be able to feel them in there, but having an IV removed was almost worse than getting it put in. The thought just made me dizzy.

My phobia in this case went so far as the fact that I would wear ¾ length sleeves in 100 degree heat just to avoid seeing the bruise.

"You're being discharged," O'Brian announced in a loud, jovial manner.

"Thank goodness," I responded. "There's nothing wrong with me."

The MD turned around and I recognized him instantly. It was Dr. Banner.

"Good, you're awake! Carlisle sent me."

"He did?" I asked.

"Yes," he said to me before turning to his companions. "Can we have some privacy?"

"Of course," O'Brian responded and ushered the other man out. The nurse remained.

"You too," Dr. Banner said.

The nurse looked at him in shock, then to me. I nodded, and she hastily exited the room. Once the door was closed, Banner sat down at the foot of my bed.

"Have you jumped?" he asked, concerned.

"No, I haven't."

"Have you felt like you were going to?"

"Yes, last night."

"Don't."

I cocked my head to the side at his vehemence.

"As you've already experienced, jumping when you don't have complete control can result in some unpredictable consequences. It would be a setback. Do you feel lightheaded?"

"I just woke up," I said.

He grinned at me, and pulled out his penlight. He shined it into each eye and watched the pupils constrict then dilate.

"So, I'm okay?"

"Perfectly fine. It seems like you may have the hang of this after all."

I smiled back at him.

"Edward asked that I have you try a jump," he said.

That was a bit puzzling for a moment, until I realized that he probably wanted to see me.

"Geez, he's like a mother hen," I complained.

"You have been hanging around the Texan too long."

"Jasper?"

"Yes, Whitlock, he seems to have rubbed off on you. It's ten a.m. the mother hen is probably pacing."

I laughed and leaned back onto the bed. It took a few moments to tune my consciousness in to the buzzing at the back of my brain. The moment I hit the right wavelength I felt the familiar pull in my abdomen and was jerked out of my body into the ether. It took longer than before to focus and find my sanctuary, but I landed practically on top of Edward.

"Thank God!" he exclaimed, and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm here," I said, mostly to Dr. Banner.

"Are you alright?" Edward said, backing up and taking inventory of me, as if he could see anything wrong with me in the regular world while I was in the ether.

"I'm fine."

"I was so worried. The demonstration isn't supposed to work like that. We were certain that you'd been selected for it, but it's always done in the context of the Vaingloria exercise. Carlisle is livid. Rosalie is practically homicidal. We're considering hiring a private agency for training, or asking the FBI if we can send recruits to Quantico."

He'd thrown a lot of information at me very quickly, which was unlike Edward. He tended to not give me any information.

"Wait, I was supposed to know that it was an exercise?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm so sorry. It wasn't supposed to be like this."

I was getting angry, but not at Edward. He'd had nothing to do with it. I could feel the ether starting to slip away, and I tried to calm down.

"Are you sure you're okay? We should have kept you at SpecInt longer."

"Edward, I'm fine," I grunted in frustration.

"Bella?"

"I'm getting angry, and I don't think I'm going to be able to stay and chat," I said agitated.

"I shouldn't have let you leave. This is something you shouldn't have been involved…"

That did it. I was mad at Edward and rapidly flying back to my body.

I sat bolt upright. Dr. Banner jumped.

"He's got some nerve," I muttered. I didn't need Edward to protect me. I'd done just fine on my own, but it would have been nice to know that the torture sequence was just a training scenario and not real. I was angry with Edward for feeling like I wasn't capable of handling this, but I was also mad at my instructors for not realizing that it was over the line. Maybe they did realize it was over the line and this was some form of hazing. Kate had tried to warn me about something, and I had to admit that they'd been overly tough on me.

"What happened?" He reached over and took my pulse.

"I got angry and lost the jump."

He nodded. "If you can't maintain the theta wave state jumping can be unreliable. That's why you had difficulty after your injury. You either needed to stay out of the theta wave state, or to concentrate well enough to stay in it."

"So, I lost the jump because I stopped concentrating?"

"Exactly. Do you want to try again?"

"I don't want to talk to him right now," I said.

"Understood."

"Will you tell the others that I'm fine?"

"I will," he said, smiling softly. "I need to let O'Brian back in. He's chomping at the bit to recruit you."

"Recruit me? You must be mistaken, he knows my dad."

"He might be acquainted with your father, but O'Brian is also a CIA recruiter."

I stared at him for a moment, suddenly unsure as to whether or not I trusted my one reliable ally left at The Farm. Dr. Banner patted my hand gently and then got up and let the other men into the room.

"Good morning, Bella," O'Brian said.

"Hi," I responded.

The man in the black suit stepped forward and looked expectantly at O'Brian, who coughed.

"Bella this is Garrett Jones with the DPD."

"Hello, Bella," Garrett jumped in quickly.

"Hi," I said, becoming more unsure of O'Brian. I could hear the pitch of my voice incline slightly. "It's nice to meet you?"

"I'll just be going. Bella, remember about the thing and not doing it. Carlisle wanted my report ASAP," Dr. Banner excused himself.

I was alone again, and completely unsure of my situation. The one thing I was fairly certain about was that I wasn't interested in working for the CIA, at all, ever.

"I would like you to consider coming to work for me –" Garrett started.

"Not happening," I cut him off. "You can forget it."

"Is there something I can do to convince you?" Garrett asked.

"Probably not," I answered.

"Nothing?"

"Listen, I appreciate the offer, but I really do like the team at SpecInt. I'm happy there."

They both just stared at me.

"You're happy at the freak factory?" Garrett asked, shocked.

I raised an eyebrow at him and O'Brian, realizing the impending danger conveyed in the look on my face ushered the other man out of the room while he protested.

"I'm sorry," O'Brian said, closing the door behind him.

Disgusted, I got up and found a plastic bag in the closet with the clothes I had been wearing on Sunday in it. They hadn't been laundered. I slipped them on anyway, but skipped the underwear since I'd been wearing it all week. My purse was on the shelf, I shoved my panties into it and prepared to do what I assumed would be the Farm's version of the walk of shame.

It wasn't.

I'd apparently earned some street cred because not only was there a car with a driver waiting for me outside of the hospital, but an instructor waiting for me at the house Tyler and I had been living in. He was sitting on the porch with his hands folded politely waiting.

"Miss Swan?"

"Yes?"

He stood and stepped aside to let me up to the door. "May I speak with you?"

"Sure," I said and stepped inside, inviting him in with a sweep of my arm. I led him into the den and sat down on the couch, indicating that he should take the chair across from me. He nodded politely and sat down.

"Miss Swan, thus far your performance has been exemplary."

"Thank you," I said awkwardly.

"We would like to advance the Vaingloria scenario and allow you to turn your intended asset this weekend. Following which, we can move you on to some additional training at The Point. Then, I will be happy to sign off on your training."

I stared at him dumbstruck.

"You'll be finished in two weeks."

I couldn't find words. He was staring at me expecting some sort of response and I had nothing.

"I would also like you to consider revisiting the Farm to assist in some training exercises in the future."

"Ummm…" That was the most intelligent reply I could come up with. Of course I had no intention of returning.

"When you're ready, you may contact your asset," he said, obviously realizing that I had turned into the village idiot.

I nodded and led him out of the house. Two weeks and I would be finished, two weeks.

* * *

**End Note:**

Someone remind me that I really do need to listen to my musical storyboard on a regular basis. Honestly, I can't function without that thing.


	43. Chapter 42 Cat

**A/n**

I need to stop and take a moment to really explain to y'all how much I appreciate loss4words. You see sometimes I send her a chapters that I've written and edited while heavily medicated, and she always sorts them out from something that looks/sounds like Engrish to actual English.

* * *

**Bella**

_19 September 2010 Vaingloria, The Farm_

I invited my potential asset over for drinks in light of the fact that my fictitious husband had been written out of the scenario. Drinks were under the guise that I was lonely. I'd already established that my target had a weakness for women and alcohol, and that he was unhappily married, but not unhappy enough to want a divorce. He also didn't want his wife to find out about his extra-curricular activities. This was of course all fictional. The instructor was probably the same type of irritating, self-righteous presumptive twit that I'd been dealing with already. Having said that, I had no reason to believe that he was a womanizer outside of his character in the scenario.

Florentine Morales, who was suspiciously a non-Hispanic, slightly to the north of middle aged, overweight, white guy arrived five minutes late for drinks. He was standing on my doorstep in the rain with a bouquet of flowers. It was entirely inappropriate given the situation, but then again so was meeting me alone for drinks.

"Flor," I greeted him, stepping aside to let him slip past me into the house. Ever the stickler for staying in character, he brushed up against me.

He made himself at home, taking off his shoes and coat while I closed the door. We settled down on opposite ends of the couch in the den. I grabbed the bottle of scotch off of the coffee table and held it up.

He nodded.

I poured two fingers full into a lowball glass and handed it to him.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I said. I didn't have to fake the nervousness in my voice. Even knowing that Morales wasn't a real potential asset and that the situation was simply a role play didn't help.

"You don't look fine, doll."

"It's just lonely without him around." I dropped my eyes to look at my hands and then reached for the second lowball glass. I intentionally gave myself more alcohol than I intended to drink.

He took the bait and slid closer, placing a hand on my knee.

"You are a strong woman. He was never worthy of you." His hand slid slightly up my leg and I held back a grin. He was playing into my plan B, which was to get him acting inappropriately on video for use as blackmail if necessary.

"I'm not that strong," I mumbled.

He leaned closer as if he couldn't hear me.

"You are so much more than you realize," he whispered into my ear.

"Flor, what are you doing?" I pulled back slightly.

"I intend to show you exactly how special you are."

"But your wife?" I asked, speaking very clearly.

"My wife is not here."

"Won't she care?"

"I don't care," he said, incriminating himself.

"Oh, Flor, are things that bad?" I asked, leaning back to get some air and slow down the scene since I'd obtained what I needed to ensure some incriminating evidence.

"She is impossible," he groaned and leaned back, sitting on the cushion next to mine with my hand in his.

"She is? She always seemed nice, maybe a little high maintenance, but nice," I commented.

"You are too good to her, doll. The woman spends more than we have, and then she drives me to drinking!" he complained.

"No!" I said in mock shock. I'd already researched the fake wife's spending habits.

"She does. The woman buys art and shoes we cannot afford, but I cannot fault her for it, for this is how I met you, my little doll."

I took a drink from my glass.

"What do I have to do with anything?" I set the bait to allow him to try his own little seduction scene on me, thinking that it might help me find a lead in to buying information.

"You, little doll, are my sun, the bright point of my day."

"I am?" I placed a hand on my chest and batted my eyelashes.

"You are. I think that perhaps I can deal with financial ruin with you by my side."

I smiled encouragingly at him.

He pulled me into his lap and kissed my neck.

"Flor?"

He sighed and pulled back.

"What if it didn't have to be financial ruin?" I asked.

"You would help me?"

"I might be able to, but it would be dangerous," I said, biting my lip.

"I will not have you in danger!"

"Not me, Flor, you. It could be dangerous for you."

I could feel the room temperature drop with his mood.

"What do you mean?" he asked slowly, the words meticulously pronounced.

"Information. I know someone who would buy information from you. The pay is very good."

He lifted me back up off of his lap and put some space between us.

"What are you saying?"

I could feel him getting angry, like I'd made a misstep in my sales pitch and I'd only just begun.

"It wouldn't be anything that would hurt anyone," I reassured him. "You could just pass on little tidbits of information, trifling little things that could be easily found out…"

"You want me to betray my country?"

"Betrayal is a strong word for what I have in mind. It's more like gossip," I said, smiling lightheartedly.

"I thought I knew you," he growled.

"You do know me," I reassured him. "I just want what's best for you. I want you to be able to have a roof over your head and for you to spend time with me." I batted my eyelashes again.

"No," he whispered in a low, dangerous tone.

"It was just a suggestion," I said.

"Was this all you wanted? You had no interest in me, just what I could do for you?"

"Flor, don't be like that," I complained. "I just know that you have no intention of leaving her, and I'm okay with that, really. The thing is that you need to find a way to earn enough money to keep her busy while we spend time together. Distracting her will be expensive."

"And you know someone who will pay for my secrets? Someone to whom I could sell my soul?"

"Well, Flor," I began, and picked up the remote control off of the end table, feeling that I was indeed going to have to blackmail him, "knowing that you want to stay married, it would be bad if your wife were to see this." I turned on the TV and an image of the den stared back at us. It was the direct feed from the camera I'd set up. I stopped the recording and backed it up to play his little seduction back to him.

"You bitch!" he roared, and threw my coffee table at the TV. It landed just shy of the entertainment center. I cringed. This wasn't going well at all.

"If you don't want her to see it, you should consider my offer."

"I'll turn you over to the authorities."

"You won't," I said. I did my best to exude calm, but my hands were sweaty and shaking. I slid them into my pockets.

"And why won't I?"

"Because if you do, then she will certainly find out about this. If you ruin me, you ruin yourself in the process," I said.

"Checkmate," he said, suddenly breaking character. "We'll debrief in an hour."

I just stared at him, stunned. It was over. I had munitions training at The Point and then I'd be finished. I was so close to going home.

**Edward**

_19 September 2010 SpecInt Headquarters, MD_

Tanya used her credit card. I just stared at my computer. After what felt like an eternity of following the woman and trying to track her using Alice's gift and remote viewing, she used her credit card. It couldn't be that easy. She was at a deli in Connecticut. That was, supposing that it was her. She could have handed the card over to someone else just to mock me, or it could have been a trap.

I sent a message to Renesmee, and stared at the transaction for a few more minutes. When the shock wore off, I searched for the Deli. Vinny's Dock House Deli in Stamford, Connecticut was easy enough to find. I pulled up the location on the map and zoomed out. It was close to some stores, a couple of hotels, Pitney Bowes, and a yacht manufacturer. The yacht manufacturer was the one that worried me the most. If she got out on the open sea she could end up anywhere. Thus far she hadn't left the U.S. because we'd put all of her known aliases on the Do Not Fly list. With a small yacht, she could bypass that.

"You rang," Renesmee peeked around the corner of my cubicle.

"Tanya used her credit card. We need to check it out."

"By we, you mean me?"

I nodded.

"Move over." She didn't wait for me to get out of my chair, she just shoved. I barely got my feet under me before she was hacking into security feeds, and stoplight cameras. "Holy see through shirt, Batman," she muttered. "Got her!"

I looked at the screen. "I hate that shirt," I said. "That's her."

Tanya was using an ATM two blocks away, wearing what passed for a summer shirt for her. It was a sheer white blouse that she wore over a skin toned bra. From what I understood, the bra was a concession to indecent exposure laws. Had she been in Russia, she might not have bothered.

"Can you get the transaction data?"

"Who do you think you're talking to?" Ren glanced over her shoulder at me and smirked. It took her one minute to hack the bank and not only get me all of the transaction data but her cell phone number which was linked to the account.

"She wants us to follow her," I mumbled.

"Yep, Natasha is trying to put on show for moose and squirrel," Ren joked in a bad Russian accent. "I track her phone."

"Cut the accent, Ren."

"Fine, be boring," she huffed and her fingers flew over the keyboard. It never ceased to amaze me that even in Windows Ren never used her mouse. She did everything with shortcut keys unless she absolutely had to click something. She'd switched programs and started tracking the cell phone seamlessly. "There."

"A yacht manufacturer"

"Yup, looks like she's getting herself a boat."

"We can't let that happen."

"It's not like freezing her bank account will help," Ren protested. "People don't write checks for yachts."

"Can you alter her credit rating?"

"Edward, we don't even know if she's buying the yacht as herself. Maybe she's already purchased it and is taking delivery today?"

"Ren, just do something," I ordered and gathered my things.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Stamford."

"She'll be gone when you get there!" Ren yelled.

I was already at Jasper's door. I didn't even knock. He looked up from a report in shock.

"We need to get the helicopter and fly to the docks in Stamford, now!"

"Tanya?" he asked.

I nodded and he was out of his seat and to the door in a flash. We ran to the helipad, collecting Emmett and Rose on the way. None of us even bothered to stop by the armory. Rose and Emmett were likely already armed. I had a revolver in my car, but nothing on me. We were already taking off after getting clearance for departure when Emmett passed me his second side arm with a wink. For the first time since she'd run off it felt like we were making headway, the nightmare was going to end.

* * *

**End note:**

Okay, I know it's another short chapter, but the next one is longer, 4ish pages longer.


	44. Chapter 43 Arrivals

**A/n**

Thank you to loss4words for beta'ing this descent hunk of a chapter. Sorry it took so long for me to post it. I've been super busy.

* * *

**Ren**

_DWI Airport 1 October 2010_

I was waiting at baggage claim. It'd been over two weeks since Jake dropped the bomb that he was moving to DC. I was under the impression that it would make watching him a bit easier. My cousins felt differently – when I actually got to talk to them that is.

"_This is not ideal, sugar," Jasper said. "He might be in more danger being here than in Atlanta, and the operative who contacted him might not contact him if he moves here, specifically closer to you."_

"_You need distance," Alice chimed in._

"_But, I thought this would make things easier," I said. "Isn't it easier to handle an asset in person?"_

"_Not necessarily," Alice said. "With the relationship you've fostered he's going to expect some things…"_

"_I've had a sex before, Alice," I snapped._

"_Not like this." She shook her head._

"_What Alice means is that you've never had sex with an asset. You're keeping this man close to get information from him to use in ways he may or may not find kosher," Jasper explained._

"_But Jake knows what we do," I protested._

"_Which makes your job all the harder," Alice sneered. _

"_So, you think telling him I was excited about the move was a mistake?"_

"_Mistake doesn't get near to coverin' it," Jasper said and sighed._

"_You should have talked to me first," Alice snapped and stormed out of the room._

"_We'll figure something out," Jasper said before he followed Alice back to their office._

Edward had pulled me in to track the Russi-skank a few days later and I failed miserably at stalling her. There was nothing I could do. He shouldn't have gone after her. She'd skipped town by the time he got to Connecticut. He totally blamed it on me. I could hear the judgment through the phone when he finally called.

He still hadn't come back. Edward and Jasper seemed to think there was something they could do to catch a skank who was probably already in international waters. It _so_ wasn't my fault. Rose agreed with me. She'd been a little snarkier about it, because she pretty much thought I was twelve, but at least she and Emmett were with me on this one. I'd gotten stuck doing the airport run to pick them up a week into Edward and Jasper's fruitless stakeout of doom.

Alice was treating me like I'd destroyed her handbag collection or something. It all added up to me not being able to talk to anyone about my situation.

I drummed my nails on my knee. The airport sucked.

Like, really, would it kill the airlines to run on time? Was there some sort of law against landing a plane when it was actually scheduled. I was nervous.

My leg started to bounce involuntarily.

I had so little experience with anything that didn't relate directly back to computers. Live people were never my forte. This was a mistake. I stood up to leave.

"Nessie!" a familiar voice boomed from across the terminal.

It was too late to change my mind, because there he was. He looked so much better in person, what was I thinking? I smiled sheepishly and gave a little finger wave. He was huge, and gorgeous, and Jacob Black was heading toward me. I decided that I should probably stop being such a loser and walk toward him since he looked excited to see me.

When we finally met up he'd walked so much further than me, partially because his legs were just so freakin' long but also because he gave up walking and ran while I stopped to giggle at him. He picked me up and squeezed me.

"Jake," I whispered, unable to find my voice. I was simultaneously petrified and excited. Being wrapped in his actual arms and feeling the muscles underneath his shirt was almost too real. I wondered how long it would take us to make good on all of the promises we'd made each other, all the things we'd acted out solely over the internet.

It wasn't like I'd never done any of those things. I had boyfriends, but they were all skinny gamer boys. Jacob Black was a man, a very muscular man who made me feel so much more like an inexperienced little girl than I'd ever felt before. I was in so far over my head that it was unreal.

Then he kissed me, and the world stopped.

I felt like I'd stopped to reboot or something. I was so shocked that I couldn't react. Then I did react and I couldn't control myself. I was already off the ground so I wrapped my legs around him and felt him. This was probably a bad move as it made me gasp, which led to a full on French kiss that bordered on pornography. He tasted like stale coffee and airline peanuts but I didn't care. It was like I was completely awake in places that I _thought_ had been awake before, only now someone had given my lady bits coffee and they wanted to make use of the caffeine high.

Jake backed off first.

"Ness, this might be going a little too far for the airport," he panted and unwound my legs from his lower half.

"Sorry," I whispered, still unable to talk.

I blushed and took a respectable step back when he set me back down on my feet. A couple of frat boys whistled at us and I think my face caught on fire. Jake led me over to the baggage carousel and we waited for his duffle to slide out. Fortunately, it was one of the first bags off of his flight.

"Did you want to get a hotel room?" he asked as we left.

I stopped in my tracks because we hadn't discussed where exactly he was going to go, and what I could do.

"I have an ankle monitor," I said, embarrassed.

His eyebrows scrunched together.

"I have to stay at my uncle's house." I was blushing again.

He nodded. "Your uncle's house it is."

I smiled because there was nothing else I could do.

"You're not getting rid of me easily little monster," he joked and suddenly everything felt okay. He knew who I was and that I couldn't just do the things that everyone else did. He could accept me for my faults and all of the little complications that would come with me.

I smiled for real and led him to my car. I just had to tell Esme and Carlisle that they had an additional guest for the weekend. I wondered if they would protest him staying in my room.

**~V258~**

Uncle Carlisle was welcoming but a bit cold when I brought my new boyfriend to the house. Esme was a bit better, but Aunt Esme was always like that.

"Aunty E, I was wondering, since we're bound to be short on beds - with it being the weekend and all – if Jake could stay with me?" I asked as soon as Uncle Carlisle had taken Jake out on the back deck to interrogate him.

"Oh, honey, I don't think that anyone is going to let that happen." She shook her head.

"But people sleep together in your house all the time," I protested. "This is the party house."

"Ren, it's not me. You're the youngest and your uncle and cousins aren't going to stand by while you have a man in your room," she said with an awkward grimace. "I'd be surprised if they don't insist that you keep your door open when he goes in there."

"I'm an adult," I pouted.

"I know that, honey, but they don't realize it yet. He can have the guestroom next to your room."

"The one that shares a bathroom?" I was on the verge of begging.

"No, my sewing is still in there." Esme 'tssked' at me. I knew better than to ask her to pack it up and let him stay there. She would have volunteered it if the option was there.

"I hate being the youngest," I whined.

"You'll have plenty of time to grow up. Just enjoy the fact that they all love you enough to assume that you're more innocent than you are." Esme smirked.

"Are you sure you can't do _something_ about it?"

"I really don't feel like arguing with Carlisle this weekend. He's been so tense lately," she said with a frown.

I knew then that fighting this was futile. I was just going to have to sneak off with Jake when no one was paying attention.

**~V258~**

**Bella**

_Somewhere in NC 1 October 2010_

After spending two weeks doing munitions training at The Point I really didn't care how bad my rental car smelled or that I'd be spending most of the day alone on the road with a radio that barely functioned. My ears were still ringing because sometimes it doesn't matter how much ear protection one has, there are some explosions that will result in tinnitus no matter what.

I hadn't bothered talking to anyone in two weeks. I had been briefly shocked when Jasper didn't have a car waiting for me at The Point, but I called for a car from the gatehouse. I was going to have to call for a ride when I dropped the car off, but that wouldn't be a big deal. There was an office near Esme and Carlisle's house. I figured I'd just call Esme when I got there.

I didn't know what I was going to say to Edward. He'd put himself out there by kissing me yet again, and then he'd once again treated me like a child. I couldn't defer to him forever. Granted, that's the way things had worked when I was younger. I let him lead. I couldn't be in that kind of relationship any longer. I'd given him too much power and he'd taken advantage of it in every way but the one I wanted him to. I needed to be on even footing if things were going to work. Were we ever going to be equals?

Liam treated me like an equal. For the most part he gave me what I wanted but not necessarily everything I needed. It was never going to be the kind of relationship I craved. I already felt that I was a bit too attached to the Irishman. He'd been awkward the last time I'd seen him and I wondered if I'd come on too strong. He'd never indicated that our relationship – if it could be called that – was permanent or in any way exclusive. I was fairly certain that he had a girl in every port and at every agency. I wanted something more than just sex.

I banged my fist on the steering wheel.

What I really needed was a free weekend and some Shakespeare produced by the BBC.

I continued to mull things over while the miles stretched out in front of me.

**~V258~**

The drive was longer than I expected. It was late when I turned in the car and called Esme. She was too excited to listen to me when I asked her for a ride to my apartment.

"You're home!" she shouted.

"I'm at the car rental place down the road from your house," I reiterated.

"I'm coming to get you, don't you dare call a cab. The fare from here to Bethesda would be ridiculous!"

"Thank you, Esme."

She'd already hung up. I stretched and then sat down on top of my suitcase to wait. I tried to keep my mind off of Edward and Liam while I sat with nothing else to do. I was going to have to make a decision and soon. Edward wouldn't be able to stand me seeing both of them, and Liam had been clear about his stance on continuing our fling if I had the potential for a real relationship on the horizon.

Esme pulled up just as I was about to start chewing my bottom lip to shreds.

She pulled me into a hug that smelled like home. She'd been baking. It was likely that the weekly Cullen brunch was going to include some form of pastry that took days to prepare.

"We're stopping off to get a cake for you," she announced.

"Oh, Esme, what am I going to do with a cake?"

"You're going to eat it with the rest of us," she deadpanned.

"I'm really too tired – "

"That's why you're coming home with me. You've been cooped up at training for too long, eating terrible food, and working too hard. This weekend we're going to celebrate, Bella Swan, and there's nothing you can do about it."

I knew better than to argue. Esme was gesturing wildly and using her best mom voice. I would be spending the weekend at Chez Cullen whether or not I argued. It was easier to just give in to her. The woman was even apologizing for buying a cake from the grocery store instead of a real bakery or making it herself.

"… You didn't give us any notice, which is just shameful of you. How am I supposed to bake you a decent cake if you don't tell me you're coming? If you'd even called this morning I could have gotten you a cake from the good bakery…"

I smiled and let her monologue wash over me. She was scolding me, but it still made me feel welcome, like I was family, and I would be family no matter what happened.

"You're not even listening to me, are you?" she snapped as she whipped into a parking space.

"I'm sorry, Esme, I just needed to think while I drove, and the time got away from me. I really would have called sooner…"

"It's fine," she said as she turned to me and smiled. "I want you to know that no matter what happens you will always be welcome in my home. I know that you've got a lot of decisions to make, but I for one don't ever want to lose you again."

I nodded.

"Now, stay here and guard my car while I run in for a cake."

I nodded again and she was gone. I felt myself falling asleep and didn't bother to do anything about it. I was still exhausted. I felt more than heard Esme return and start the car. She spoke to me but it was a bit muddled.

**~V258~**

When I came completely back to consciousness we were in the driveway and Esme was shaking my arm. I flailed involuntarily, and she caught my arm before I could accidentally hit her. It felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.

"It's okay, shhhh," she soothed. "The Farm can really do a number on you, especially the way you experienced it."

I felt a tear slide down my cheek and she wiped it away and smiled at me.

"I thought you looked like you were doing a little too well," she confided. "What do you need?"

"I think I just need to sleep," I cried.

"Then you go in and take Edward's room. He won't need it. Go right to sleep. This cake will keep until tomorrow."

I nodded and she came around to my side of the car and helped me out. I felt so bone weary that I couldn't even bring myself to get my suitcase. I planned to just sleep in my underwear and deal with it later, but Esme left the cake and grabbed my bag. She ushered me into the house in such a way that I didn't see anyone. I could hear laughing coming from somewhere, but I really didn't care who it was or what they found so amusing. I just wanted to sleep.

Esme dropped me off in Edward's room and turned down the bed for me. I stripped down to a T shirt and panties before sliding between the sheets. The thought registered at the back of my mind that I was safe and I drifted off to sleep quickly.

**~V258~**

**Edward**

_Cullen Mansion, VA 1 October 2010_

We pulled into the driveway at around eleven. Jasper had been eager to get to Alice the second he landed the helicopter. Knowing that she didn't like to be alone we made a b-line for my parent's house. I didn't have a pressing need to get back to my lonely apartment either, especially not after feeling like such a failure for about two weeks straight. I needed a home cooked meal made by Esme and some creature comforts, and neither of those would be found at my apartment.

Alice met us before we even got close to the door. My sister looked like she'd freshened up for her husband. She'd seen us coming. He picked her up and whirled her around. I found myself wishing that Bella was there. When Alice and Jasper were done with their traditional display of affection she looked at me and it was like we were kids again. We'd occasionally been able to communicate with each other without words. Something in her face told me that Bella was there. I grinned from ear to ear and ran into the house.

A quick sweep of the common areas of the house found no trace of her. I had fully expected to find her curled up on the couch in my father's study or the library with a blanket and a book. In the interest of full disclosure I also imagined her barefoot and in what used to be her favorite pair of pajamas, with her hair down around her face and shoulders. I could almost smell her; conversely, I couldn't find her anywhere.

Alice caught up to me on my second pass – during which I found Jacob Black kissing my baby cousin. They were outside next to the pool, and I planned on dealing with that later.

"She's asleep," Alice said, leading me up the stairs to my room.

Bella was in my room.

"Does this mean…?"

"No, we're out of space and no one expected you home until an hour ago."

"So, she's not here waiting for me," I said and my grin slid off my face.

"No, she called Esme when she got into town. She was so tired that Esme put her straight to bed. The poor girl hasn't made any decisions yet," Alice explained.

I'd hoped that she thought about things and decided that she wanted me. That would have made me feel much better. Unfortunately, she was just there to sleep, laying in my own bed taunting me with no decision about the future.

Alice opened the door a crack and a shaft of light cast shadows in the room. Bella's back was clearly illuminated. She thrashed for a second and whimpered.

"I really wanted her to choose me." I sighed.

"She might still." Alice was ever the optimist. "She's tired, give her some time."

"Is she alright?" I asked, looking at Bella as she thrashed again and made small distressed noises in her sleep.

"Nightmares." Alice grimaced. "Esme said that she nearly hit her when she woke her up in the car."

I nodded. That was unfortunately to be expected. I wanted to crawl in next to her and hold her. I wanted to comfort her and make it better, but I knew that it wasn't my place.

"I want to hold her," I said.

"It would help, but she probably won't appreciate it in the morning."

I nodded. There was a couch in my room. I could sleep there and still be close to her.

"You are a pathetic stalker," my sister said, knowing the decision I'd already made.

"Will she be angry if I sleep on the couch?" I asked.

"No, but she will feel guilty, but as long as you spend the night here she'll feel that to some degree or another," she explained and gave me a nudge into the room.

The door closed behind me and I was in the dark with temptation. My eyes adjusted and I saw Bella's twitching form right where I expected it.

"No!" she yelled in her sleep. I moved next to the bed and stroked her cheek. She calmed slightly but not enough. "Edward, save me," she pleaded.

"I will," I whispered.

"I can save myself," she snapped in a voice that sounded very lucid for someone who was still asleep.

"Are you awake?" I asked.

"I don't know where I am or what they want," she said, "but I'll find a way out of this. I will."

"Of course you will," I said.

She rolled over away from me and I smiled at her. The nightmare sounded disturbing, but she'd thought of me in it; that made me feel a bit better.

I grabbed a spare blanket out of the closet, took off my pants, and laid down on the couch. I listened to her breathing for a long while, wishing that I could be in bed with her. Instead, I wrapped my arms around a throw pillow and watched over her for a while. When the nightmares finally seemed to go away I succumbed to sleep.

**~V258~**

"Cullen, what are you doing here?" she said.

I stirred the rest of the way awake and sat up to look at her. Bella was sleep mussed and sitting up in my bed. She still looked tired.

"It is my room. I could probably ask you the same thing," I responded a bit too crankily.

"I just, I was told that no one expected you home," she said a bit more softly.

"I wasn't supposed to be." I rubbed my face and then scratched my head with both hands. "Jasper and I came home earlier than anticipated." The room was silent for a moment. "I'm glad you're home," I said.

"I wouldn't have taken your bed…"

"Bella, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to take it. You needed sleep, and in a way this is your family too. We're in such stressful situations all the time that it brings everyone closer together. You should feel comfortable here," I explained.

"I should feel comfortable here in a guest bedroom," Bella said.

"I want you to feel safe," I said. "If my room makes you feel safe then you can have it. I can sleep on the couch in here or somewhere else, or I could set up a cot in Esme's sewing room."

"Stop," she snapped. "Just stop."

I blinked at her, not knowing what it was that I'd said wrong.

"You don't have to fix things for me, Edward. I can take a couch or a cot or I can go home."

"I don't understand what I did," I confessed.

She scrubbed her hands through her hair in frustration and looked away. After a few moments she turned back to me. "You never do, Edward, that's the problem."

"Then tell me."

"You always want to fix things, to make them right. I can do it for myself. I survived before you and I continued after you left. I don't need someone to solve my problems for me," she explained.

I nodded, still not exactly sure of what she meant.

"We could share the bed," I suggested with a wink. I'd channeled Emmett for that one.

She threw a pillow at my head.

"Not yet?" I asked.

"No, not yet," she groaned.

"Keep the bed," I said. "I think this couch folds out."

She growled at me but didn't say anything. I smiled at her, got off the couch, and walked across the room to sit down next to her.

"I'm here for you," I whispered and leaned in, gently kissing her cheek.

"I haven't –"

"I know, you haven't made a decision, but whatever you want, I'm willing to try." I rested a hand on the side of her neck and she turned her face toward me. My lips brushed across hers twice. It felt so right. "Do you want this?"

She sighed instead of answering my question and I kissed it away. She was warm, and soft. I carefully nudged her, encouraging her to lie back on the bed. She did, kissing me back as she went. I rolled on top of her and ran a hand down her side, causing her to gasp. My hand slid under the sheet, finding her in just a t-shirt and panties. She was going to be the death of me. I toyed with the waistband a bit. Bella whimpered and then slid my hand away. I took that as a cue to slow down.

"Not like this," she pleaded after breaking the kiss. "There's this thing between us, and I can't think when we're like this. I need to think. I don't know if we're healthy together."

I nodded and put some distance between us, trying not to sulk.

"I need more time," she said.

I nodded and went into the bathroom for a lukewarm shower. When I came back out she'd already dressed and gone down to breakfast. My heart sank. I hadn't exactly expected her to wait for me, but I'd hoped. I'd also hoped that she would want me as much as I wanted her.

* * *

**End Note:**

I'm sorry I took so long to get this up, loss4words beta'd it some time ago. My son has pulled me back into theatre. He did his first production this month. I worked tech on it so we could spend some time together. We've spent the past 3 weeks basically living at the theater, but we've made some wonderful new friends.

I'll try to get this moving along again. School starts again in a week or so. Yay!


	45. Chapter 44 Free Falling

**A/n:**

Thank you to loss4words for beta'ing and to those of you who've stuck around thus far. There's a long end note.

* * *

**Bella**

_Cullen Mansion 2 October 2010_

I couldn't breathe properly with him around. It was like Edward sucked all of the air out of the room and completely deprived my brain cells of oxygen. I felt this neverending draw toward him, and I wasn't sure if I liked it on an intellectual level. Physically, I was giddy. I could still feel his hand sliding down my hip, the way his fingers hesitated… I had seriously considered just doing it with him. I'd always wanted to; he never would, and suddenly that option seemed to be on the table. The problem being that Edward would most likely take sex as a declaration that I'd made a decision, and I hadn't.

Before I left the bedroom I stood next to the bathroom door for several long minutes. Maybe we could have just fooled around like we used to? He'd been very good at that. Then again, the commitment issue reared its ugly head. He would want that. It would be teasing to allow him to… I had to leave the room.

I pulled out a clean pair of clothes, changed, and practically ran down the stairs.

That was where I met my next surprise, Jacob and Ren, being not so discreet in the living room. I hadn't expected him to be there. Jacob was supposed to be in Atlanta, and Ren was supposed to be doing this whole thing long distance.

I cleared my throat.

"Bells!" Jacob bellowed.

"Hi, Bella," Ren said shyly.

"Good morning," I said, but I meant, 'get a room.'

Jacob jumped over the back of the couch and picked me up in a bone crunching hug. Ren took the more socially acceptable approach of walking around the furniture. She gave me a much more reasonable hug. Honestly, I didn't want to be touched. It was like they erased the hum that Edward had ignited under my skin. I tried very hard not to be irritated about it.

Unfortunately, I was more irritable than usual. Staying at the Cullen's had been a mistake. I really needed time alone. I wasn't acclimated to dealing with regular people. I was still a bit shell shocked and raw from training and everyone wanted me to be ready for parties and hugs.

I wanted to hit something, so of course Jasper walked around the corner.

"Good, you're dressed appropriately," he grinned.

I looked down at my exercise pants and T-shirt and then back up at him.

"Let's go handle that, shall we?" he nodded toward the basement where the Cullen's had a full gym, including space for Esme to do whatever aerobic workout was currently the trend. Jasper slid a hand around my arm and steered me in that direction.

When the door was safely closed behind us I turned to him. "I wasn't going to hit anyone."

"That's not what it feels like, sugar. Let's spar a bit and work off some of that aggression."

I could feel my emotions spinning a bit out of control. His comment made me want to cry. He glanced at me.

"What?" I shouted.

"Just waiting for the merry go round to stop."

It stopped on crying.

"Oh, Bella," he whispered, patting me on the back.

"I'm so tired," I sobbed.

He led me over to the mat and sat down with me. My head dropped onto his shoulder, and he wrapped an arm around me.

"It's okay," he said.

"Everyone wants something from me. Edward wants a decision. Esme wants a party. I can't do either right now. I don't even know what I want. I can't do any of this right now." I was snotting on his shoulder, trying desperately to rein back in my emotions.

"You don't need to do anything for anyone. Edward knows you aren't ready, and Esme just wants to make you feel welcome. They're trying to help you in their own way," he said.

I sobbed again.

"It's okay."

"I can't… I need to go home…"

"Shhhh," he soothed. "Just keep breathing, take it one inhale at a time."

I consciously tried to slow my breathing, to pull in more air. After several breaths when I'd pulled myself together, I messily pulled back from Jasper's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"It'll wash." He grinned at me.

"I should go home."

"I don't think you should be alone," he countered. "I'll talk to the others, tell them to stay clear. You can have some quiet time, use the library or the pool, but you really need to have some support right now."

I grimaced.

"I know it's not what you want, sugar, but you need someone around in case you get upset again."

"I won't get upset if no one's around," I protested.

"Neither of us knows that," he said.

I sighed, realizing that arguing with Jasper was pointless.

"Do you want to hit me?" Jasper asked.

I made a lame punch at his shoulder.

"You were supposed to get stronger in training, not weaker." He laughed.

I rolled my eyes at him. He stood, and helped me to my feet.

"I just don't want to be touched a lot or fussed over," I explained. _Except for maybe by Edward, because kissing him made me feel better…_

"I'll spread the word."

"Now, I feel dramatic." I sighed.

"I can tell them, or I can _not_ tell them, which do you want?"

"I don't know. I'm too confused." I wrapped my arms around my midsection and began pacing.

"You are wound really tight," Jasper observed. "I knew that you were, but I didn't realize that it was this bad."

"Edward and I kissed, and then some," I confessed.

"I thought I felt something like that this morning." He smirked at me.

"Just don't, I'm confused." I flopped back down on the mat.

"What's so confusing?"

"There's Edward and the way Edward makes me feel, and then there's Liam. Then there's the awkwardness of having Jake upstairs making out with Ren. And Edward treats me like a child, and I'm not one. Liam seems to get that but he's unavailable and cold lately. Then, I really wanted Edward this morning, but he's going to act like he's my guardian instead of my boyfriend, and I just can't do that again. I can't think around him, and I wonder if seeing him is even a good idea. I'm all muddled up, and he kissed me. It's not that I didn't like it or didn't want it, but I just can't… he can't… Why does he do this to me?"

"I suspect that he can't help it any more than you can."

I felt a new tear trickle from the corner of my eye, down my cheek.

"So, we're just out of control?"

"A bit."

"What should I do?"

"I can't tell you that, sugar. You have to figure it out on your own, Bella-girl."

I felt the edge of the mat shift under Jasper's weight. He was standing on the end, looking at me.

"This isn't healthy."

"What we want rarely is, but if you want him to respect you, you need to tell him. You need to be clear."

"What if he can't?"

He sighed. "If he can't give you what you need, then you need some distance."

I nodded.

Jasper was right. Edward and I had too much of a pull toward each other. Whatever it was that was between us would destroy us if we couldn't find a way to work it out. If that was the case, then I would have to go.

"Resolve is good," Jasper muttered. "I'm not sure now is the time to be making any life changing decisions, but you seem a little more grounded. Was this all about Edward?"

"I really do need time alone," I said.

Jasper nodded, gave me a hug, and then walked away. He was most likely off to tell the rest of the Cullen clan to leave me alone. I decided that I didn't care, and sprawled out on the mat. Edward and I were going to have to have a serious conversation, and I was going to have to break things off with Liam in order to give Edward a fair chance. I was surprisingly comfortable with the concept of not seeing Liam romantically anymore. He'd helped me through a difficult time, but there wasn't really a relationship to speak of. It was more like the sharing of beds. He'd been awkward the last time I saw him too. It was time to cut him loose before things got really awkward.

I still couldn't believe that Jacob was there. What exactly was he doing at the Cullen's house and how did he get there? I wasn't sure how badly I wanted to find out. It would involve talking to people, and I really did feel like I needed some space from everyone. I had to decompress and find myself in all of the emotional clutter running around in my head.

There was a knock at the gym door. I raised my head slightly to see who it was. Edward was standing with his head peeking through a crack in the door.

"Hi," he whispered, "Can I come in?"

I sat up and straightened my clothes.

"I came to apologize, and bring you breakfast."

My stomach growled.

"You brought breakfast?"

"Cake," he said looking guiltily over his shoulder. "Jasper nixed the morning celebration Esme was planning, so we're all eating cake for breakfast. Can I come in?"

"Only if you really have cake," I teased.

He grinned and stepped into the room holding a plate with a rather large piece of cake and a fork. I grinned back.

"Is that all for me?"

"If you like."

He sat down carefully, trying not to tilt the plate. He set it down on my lap and I attacked it with the fork. It was good. I'd never really cared about grocery store cake versus bakery cake, they were all good to me.

"I shouldn't have kissed you this morning," he said. "You haven't made a choice and it was wrong of me to take advantage of you like that."

I groaned.

"Edward, your timing was bad, but I don't think there's ever going to be a right time to have that conversation."

"So, you've decided." He frowned.

"I want to take it slowly."

He sighed and visibly relaxed. "I can do slow." He scooted around on the mat to slide up behind me. "Is this okay?"

I nodded and he wrapped his arms around my waist. We sat and quietly shared my cake. Having him there and having made a decision calmed my frayed nerves and made it easier for me to breathe. I didn't feel as unsettled.

"Do you still need to be alone?" he asked quietly.

My stomach instantly knotted at the thought of being separated from him.

"Can you stay with me?"

"Of course."

"I was thinking about getting a book and taking it back up to your room," I suggested, craning my neck backward so that I could see his face.

He smiled and stood. After he'd helped me up from the floor we collected the plate and fork and left for the library to find books. We didn't see anyone on our way to the library. Edward sent me up to his room with the books, while he took the plate and fork back to the kitchen. I didn't run into anyone on the way up either. The house felt abandoned.

I flopped down on the bed in Edward's room and stretched across it. The bed really _was_ comfortable. I grabbed a book and allowed myself to relax. My body seemed to melt into the mattress. I grinned and started on my book.

I was several pages in when I heard a chuckle from the door. I peered around the book and over my toes to see Edward standing in the doorway with a tray of snacks.

"Starting without me?"

"There's a bed and a pile of books, you didn't really think I'd wait." I smirked.

He set the tray down on the floor, then crawled up on the bed next to me. I laughed as he wrapped his hands around my waist, turning me so that we could spoon. He buried his nose into my hair and we lay like that for the better part of the morning.

**~V258~**

**Jacob**

_Cullen Mansion 2 October 2010_

I couldn't help but worry about Bella. She was different, and something had shaken her. I couldn't tell if she was angry that Nessie and I had hooked up or if it was something else. Did she really dislike me that much? Personally, I didn't think that our time together had been that bad, or that things had ended too terribly. There was the fact that I was checking up on her, but I was just worried and she should understand that.

I gritted my teeth when Edward came down the stairs. Being in his parent's house was awkward enough without him making an appearance. He stared at me like I didn't belong and gave me a look that indicated that he was watching me. I found that hypocritical considering his track record with broken hearts.

He and Bella had stayed in the same room, and it irritated me. She deserved better, and he deserved an ass-whoopin'.

Nessie was the only reason I didn't go after him. I had to play nice in the sandbox if I wanted to spend time with her, and how was I going to explain kicking her cousin's sorry butt into next week over an ex who I was over? She was young and vulnerable, and likely to think that I still had romantic feelings for Bella. I was still attracted to Bells, but I knew that the relationship had never been real. Also, Bells wanted to take care of herself, and she seemed to be able to manage for the most part. According to Ness, she wasn't seeing the D-bag. There was another guy entirely.

Then there was Ness, who punched me almost every time I called her Nessie. Her family called her Ren, but to me she seemed a bit too much like a mythological creature for that name. There was a lot going on under the surface with her, but her name just didn't lend itself to comparison to an iceberg. I wasn't sure anyone really understood how deep she really was.

"What're'ya thinking about over there?" Ness asked.

"You," I answered, thankful that I had indeed just been thinking about her.

She blushed and punched me playfully in the arm.

"If you keep doing that it's going to start hurting," I warned her.

"Poor baby."

I grinned and slid a finger into her belt loop. I pulled her squirming form over to me and proceeded to tickle her until she was completely out of breath.

"What was that?" I asked.

"I said, poor baby." She grinned mischievously.

I looked at what she was wearing, black T-shirt, short, dark blue shorts… her phone was on the table. I scooped her up and made for the back door.

"Where are you taking me?" she wailed.

Emmett, the big guy who was dating the blonde stood in my path for a moment.

"Just to the pool," I said. The big guy winked at me and opened the door.

"Jacob, no! Emmett, don't _help_ him! Jacob, put me down!" she shrieked and kicked relentlessly until I dropped her into the water at the deep end.

I stepped away from the water, fished my phone and wallet out of my shorts, took off my shirt, and dove in after her.

"You jerk!" she yelled in between giggles.

"No hitting," I said firmly.

She rolled her eyes. "Didn't anyone ever tell you to use your words?"

"This was more fun," I said, shrugging. I swam to her and pulled her off the wall to me. "If we stay in here, they can't see us, and we can hear them coming."

"I like the way you think, Jacob Black." Nessie leaned in and kissed me.

* * *

**End Note:**

I'd like to thank those of you who've hung in there for the long haul. This story was never going to be a short one, and if you look at the word counts the chapters range between 5 and 10 pages per. These are really short chapters, so of course there will be a lot of them. I know that everyone is used to fast moving fanfiction but this story is an attempt at a nice slow burn with what I feel is ultimately a nice payoff in the end.

I've recently received some not so pleasant misspelled reviews with bad grammar and unnecessarily foul language. Listen, if you can't spell it or own up to it, you probably shouldn't type it up and put it out there for everyone. I deleted the worst one, after sharing it with a few people and laughing at the terrible grammar and spelling.

I was kind of excited for this chapter and now it seems like I'm pandering to idiots, and I'm not. This is where this chapter was going to be no matter what.

Hopefully, you're all still enjoying the story. I'm sorry that it's taking me so long to get it out there.


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